Need Help With Spouse

[Rainman]

I love WDW and really find it the happiest place I can be with my family. We have three sons 7, 5, and 2 yrs old.

We have recently purchased DVC. My spouse was actually the one who pushed for it since we have made trips in April 01, Oct 03, and Oct 05. She could see where it makes since to pre-pay and have the 2 Bedroom villas as THE place to stay.

The issue is this; my spouse was maybe just getting adjusted to a trip once a year or about 1.5 years between trips. I had been pushing for that. However, now I am feeling myself be pulled to want to visit twice per year. We went to WDW in Oct and I am really dying to go back.

Financially we could do it with some work. My spouse does not agree with the numbers. We both are accountants so I know the numbers can work if we both are in agreement to make it work.

However, truthfully I think my spouse feels funny about what friends and family will think of us making the trips more often. A few years ago I can remember a family member of my spouses saying they knew some families who where making an annual trip to WDW and they did not agree with it. I think my spouse feels a trip annually or twice a year is too extravagant.

Another argument my spouse will also say there are lots of other places to visit. My response is as the kids get older I will want to go to those other places, I feel at this time WDW fits our family better than Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, Wisconsin Dells etc.

Ultimately, I feel like life is short lets enjoy it. Am I really that bad a person/spouse if I want to spend time at WDW with my family?

I am rambling. Anyone else have thoughts of how to approach my spouse or can empathize??

 

[browniemtb]

So are you looking at adding on to your existing contract? I would have to agree with you that WDW while the kids are young is the way to go. Thats why we did it. Right now its a vaction all of us can enjoy...I'm sure in the future too. But what I'm getting at is that a Yellowstone trip for young kids doesn't really have the same Magic, yet. Also we have gone the family route with comments made.......block them out and do what makes your family happy. The way I look at it is this is for the kids...they will always remember these trips. I to run a business and head up the accounting/finance area and yes DVC is not the best fiscal choice we can make.....but the smiles on my kids faces to me is priceless and I'm sure you feel the same way......
Brownie

 

[bigsmooth]

I can definitely empathize. I had to work on my wife to purchase primarily for the exact same reason- she was not initially keen on making frequent trips to WDW, partly because we are from the Northwest, and it is a long trip, but partly because of what you state- friend and family and what they would think). I had researched DVC for a couple of years before purchasing, and I had to do a bit of selling to get her to take the tour (part of that was booking her a vist to the SSR Spa to accompany the tour). Once we went on the tour, everything sold itself. We even waited two months after the tour to make the purchase, just to make sure we felt we were not rushing into a decision. However, we bought just enough points to go every other year. My worry is that once we take our first trip this fall (exactly two years after making the purchase), waiting anothe two years will feel way too long. My hope is that she enjoys our first trip so much that going again the following year will be an easy sell. We'll have to see what type of add-on incentive they are running this fall.

 

[Boston5602]

When people would ask me why I vacation at Disney EVERY year........


I would ask them what if I spent a week horseback riding and canoeing cooking out on the BBQ in the back yard spending a day at the beach or the swimming pool we played basketball and rode bikes all day we also went and spent the morning fishing one day. One night we saw a show and enjoyed dinner and another night we ordered pizza and stayed in to watch tv. This entire week of relaxation and fun and we never even left Fort Wilderness.


Next I'm going back and I'm gonna drive a car at 200mph around a race track , then for dinner we're going to eat family style untill we're full I'm going to start the day off renting a boat and cruising the lake, spend some time in a hammock on the beach, sip a cocktail while I watch the kids slide down a volcano. Another relaxing day either by the lake or the pool and that evening we're going to a Luau eating drinking and watching a teriffic show. All this without leaving the Polynesian.


This doesn't include tennis golf water parks Downtown Disney, any of the the other resorts or any of the Major Parks . Gosh I think I need to go more than once a year


Anyways I tell them to give it a try and now I never hear a word form my friends , co-workers, or family


Just My thoughts on Disney annual trips

 

[Tink-n-Belle]

You have the right attitude. GO NOW and GO OFTEN. This too is the reason I bought into DVC because it makes you go (I just came back and we are going in Nov 06 again and I'm trying to squeeze in another trip in Feb 07 to maximize our AP's ) And btw, this trip was priceless, my 5 year old shouted after Fantamic "Mom, Mickey is an awesome guy, he vanished all the villians". I didn't even realize she paid attention to the theme of the show.

In another 10 years your 7 year old will be 17 and off to college. These years with the kids are precious. And since you all enjoy yourselves at Disney and have prepaid accomadations the price is right! (I know, airfare, passes and food all cost money too).

If your DW doesn't want to go twice a year compromise and go every 10 months or so. Or suggest the AP with the DVC discount its only $315 plus tax for adults a piece, a little cheaper than the 10 day hopper with no expiration. If you get an AP you'll have to visit twice within the year to utilize it. Also, if you get the AP you can get the Disney Dining Experience card which give you a 20% discount at almost all the sit down restaurants in Disney, including DD, and the resorts. The card expires in a year and cost $60. We bought ours in Jan 06 and its good until the last day of Feb 07-

See I'll definitely have to go back. Hopefully you will Too.!!

 

[shantay1008]

When we first bought DVC two years ago, I was perfectly content with the idea of visiting WDW every other year. But somehow, since I've discovered these boards, I've been thinking about trying to get there more often. I suppose it's because I'm reading all these posts from people who visit many, many times every year. Some people on these boards are loaded, I think, or live relatively close to WDW, or maybe don't have large families who rack up the airfare and ticket costs. It would be very difficult to keep up with them. I tried keeping up with people out of my league once, in a sorority in college, and it really didn't work out too well. The wardrobe costs alone were staggering!

I guess you just have to be honest with yourself, and maybe take a little step back from thinking about Disney or reading these boards to reconnect with what you really want. I just discovered these boards a month or so ago, and while it was a great resource for planning our recent vacation and has also been a fun little escape for those moments when my children are busy and aren't demanding my attention , how big a part of my life is Disney, or should it be, really? It's like whenever I get the Pottery Barn catalog, I suddenly need more stuff. It's become quite freeing to just chuck the thing in recycling without even looking at it. (It took a while to be able to do that. )

I would never want Disney to become a source of tension between me and my husband. He thinks it's a fun to place to go with the kids, but not at the risk of going into debt. You might very well decide that, yes, you want to go to visit WDW two or three times a year, and you will take steps to make that possible. Just give yourself some space to think about what's best for your family.

Good luck!
Shannon

Edited to add: by the way, I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to go to places like Yellowstone yet. I want the little ones to have a good chance of remembering trips like those, and with Disney, it really doesn't matter what age you are. Also, there's no way I'm taking my kids to a place like Yellowstone...I'd be a wreck just trying to keep them away from the geysers!

 

[Stuart D]

Maybe my attitude sucks but honestly if my family, or my wife's family made comments about how often we go a holiday I would tell them where to get off, where to stick their comments and to keep their noses out of my business. Honestly life isn't just too short, its more than that, you and your wife work damned hard for your money and its yours to spend on whatever you want. The only reason for giving the slightest damn what family members are saying is if you need their money to get by every other day of the week.

Some people I know say that having a computer, and posting on frivolous website forums is an extravagance they can't afford but they aren't going to stop me.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am, in general, not the type of person who gives a hoot about what others think of my habits, vacation or otherwise. As long as DH & I are earning our own money, and paying our own way, we'll certainly spend our money however we see fit. However, if your DW is the sort of person who worries "what the neighbors will think" then getting her to go to WDW more often may be a tough sell.

I will be perfectly honest with you though...you might just want to relax and let the DVC vacationing style work its magic on her. Many of us purchased with the thought "I'll get enough points to go once a year". Then we went, and stayed in the nicer bigger unit, and had the more relaxed pace (because we know we're coming back), and suddenly...poof! we need more points!

Be patient...it will happen...

 

[SpoonfulofSugar]

You don't have to go to WDW every year with DVC.
Although the DVC resorts are the best value for points, you can still get a week or two at all of those II resorts all over the place. So taking trips to other places once in awhile should not be an issue, because you can.
As for worrying about what others say about your trips, it's really none of their business. If you can afford it, I think the quality fun time with the family will far outweigh any negative feelings others may have.

Good luck, you accountants can be a tough sell, lol

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

I love WDW, Dh prefers a rustic cabin in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but fish. So one trip for me and one trip he gets to pick.

 

[rogerram]

However, truthfully I think my spouse feels funny about what friends and family will think of us making the trips more often. A few years ago I can remember a family member of my spouses saying they knew some families who where making an annual trip to WDW and they did not agree with it.

You should do what is right for your family and not worry what other family members say. Personally, if they said that to me, I would think it is rude to try to tell me what is best for us. I would tell them that maybe I don't agree with what they do with their free time and to mind their own business. See if they like it.

 

[StormTigger]

2 suggested that might help in selling her to go to Disney more often.

1 - you can arrange and go on a trip somewhere else, and make sure it's the worst trip ever! Only mention how Disney is always such a great trip once (just want to plant the idea, not beat her over the head w/ it) and then make sure your next Disney trip is the most magical experience ever (make sure you throw in a Spa visit for her, and dinner w/ fireworks). She'll never want to go anywhere else.

2 - this one is a lot easier to plan . Pick a day/time and read the Trip Report board here on Dis outloud to her. ( Of course stay way from any negative reports.) Then slowly make it a family event like one day a week of reading Dis together. You'll find her sneaking off to read the boards on her own, and then casually making what seems to be innocent and random Disney comments. Next thing you know you'll wake up w/ her kicking you saying.. "We need to go to Disney ... NOW!" - Disboards - the greatest weapon in getting people to Disney ever made!

 

[Mai Ku Tiki]

Aloha!

After many years as DISNEY NUT and after many years on these boards, it has become clear to me that most of us should have married EACH OTHER instead of the less enthusiastic partners we chose!

Maybe we need a blood test, AND a passing grade on a DISNEY survey before we are issued a licence!

hmmmm....Wonder if there are DISNEY related questions on e-Harmony.com?????

 

[snowbunny]

I'm in the minority, I'm sure, but twice a year to WDW every year would be too much for me, too. Especially if it made for a financial strain. Once a year is fine for us, even once every two years and alternating to other places. I guess that's why we only need 150 points.

 

[shantay1008]

I'm in the minority, I'm sure, but twice a year to WDW every year would be too much for me, too. Especially if it made for a financial strain. Once a year is fine for us, even once every two years and alternating to other places. I guess that's why we only need 150 points.

You mean, you have enough? Wow, what a concept. This experience of being on the DIS boards over the last month has been humbling for me. Somehow, I went from the kid who was grateful when her parents saved up enough for the family to visit Disneyland when she was fourteen, to someone who's been trying to figure out how to get more points so we can go more often like all the other people here. But how much is enough?

I'm sure some people will read this and get defensive, but I think we all know what we can truly afford and what is reasonable. What's the saying? "If you have to ask, you can't afford it." If people weren't worried that they were making bad financial decisions, then there wouldn't be posts every single day asking for validation about this topic.

OP, thank you for the wake-up call. I love WDW and think it is an incredible, wonderful place to be, and I am so excited to be a DVC owner and to get to share this with my family and friends. But I'm going to stop the madness and be content with my 200 points a year.

 

[snowbunny]

You mean, you have enough? Wow, what a concept. This experience of being on the DIS boards over the last month has been humbling for me. Somehow, I went from the kid who was grateful when her parents saved up enough for the family to visit Disneyland when she was fourteen, to someone who's been trying to figure out how to get more points so we can go more often like all the other people here.

It wouldn't be as special to me if I were there all the time. (Two vacations at the same place every year would feel like "all the time" to me.)

I've become a very cynical person. Disney is one of the few places that I enter and feel just like a kid again, before I knew all the things I know about the world. I don't want to lose that, and if I went there more often, I think I would.

P.S. Hello Wisconsinite I grew up in Mad City

 

[shantay1008]

As Snowbunny has illustrated, everyone has different reasons for how often and why they go to WDW. That is a personal decision and if someone wants to and can afford to go five times a year, then I think they are very lucky and more power to them. (And we'll all try not to be too jealous .) But what caught my attention in the original post was when the OP said

The issue is this; my spouse was maybe just getting adjusted to a trip once a year or about 1.5 years between trips. I had been pushing for that. However, now I am feeling myself be pulled to want to visit twice per year. We went to WDW in Oct and I am really dying to go back.

Financially we could do it with some work. My spouse does not agree with the numbers. We both are accountants so I know the numbers can work if we both are in agreement to make it work.

It seems that he owes it to himself and his spouse to figure out why he has changed the original deal and now wants to go more often. I mean, what if this were your kid and you were dealing with him wanting more of something, whatever it is. Aren't there questions and concerns you would address with him? Would you honestly just tell him to buy, buy, buy?

He might discover that he's being influenced by this board or is using WDW as an escape from stress, or whatever. Or he might find that he really, really wants to go a few times a year and, as an accountant, will have the knowledge to make smart financial decisions to make that happen in a way that won't hurt his family. In that case, he'll be like those of us who want to eat chocolate every day, but know that we have to exercise to pull it off.

 

[byoung]

6 visits last year 4 this year and I want more.

 

[colleen costello]

I sympathize because I have no desire to go ANYWHERE else! I think of Yellowstone and driving around, looking at rocks and bears -- snooze... Same with Grand Canyon, Redwoods... I always say "That's why we have the Discovery Channel and for now I am going to Disney World!"

My hubby is pretty agreeable and thank goodness he likes road trips. We go twice a year, but I would be happier with three times. My parents are getting ready to move to Florida and I hope to spend some time with them, doing day trips to Disney. Hubby has no desire to do the Disney Cruise, and if I can leave him at my parents' place, I think one day I will take the kids and go without him! Perhaps your wife would be agreeable to you going on a little "extra" trip each year, alone or with the kids, or perhaps one kid at a time? Perhaps a "parents only" trip might lure her? If you present it as "I want to go more regularly; help me make it happen" then maybe she will be more open to it!

Good luck! And remember -- you can always do Disney even if you are out of points. Sometimes we stay at a Moderate and once we went to the Poly. Even non-DVC trips are better than nothing!

 

[JimC]

Approach one: Ask your family and friends if they regularly vacation. If so, do they go regularly the same place -- beach, mountains, lake, etc. If so, how is that any different than your going to WDW each year? And when they say but its the same rides I respond its the same [insert lake, beach, mountains as appropriate] where you vacation each year.

Approach two: Who cares what someone else thinks of your vacation. They can do what they want as can you.

Approach three: Buy SSR in 100 point or 150 point increments so that you can sell some later when you desire less Disney. That size contract is an easier sell, in my opinion.

Approach four: Accountants can make the numbers say what they want depending on the assumptions and conventions selected. It is not the place to debate. Set what you want to spend on family holidays. That is the discussion that comes first. Once that is settled look at how you might best spend that amount of money.

Best wishes