need help with 9 month old sleep habits

[kribit]

i hope you get these sleep issues figured out soon, and you all get a good night's sleep!
Second Ladies look at what this thread has become..this Mama came here asking for advice and this turned into another debate, and the name calling is just completely uncalled for.
I personally dont beleive that CIO is a good thing for anyone, our Ped. agrees with us on that one. I beleive in meeting the needs of my children, whether is be 1 in the afternoon or 3 am. I have co-slept with all 3 of my children and they are 5,4 and 1..the older 2 are in their own beds...because they want to be. They are happy , healthy well rounded VERY independant young ladies.
I understand that this is not for everyone, but to put someone down and call names ..ie,lazy..is just not right.
We are all mothers and should stick together because we love our children. As long as you raise your children with love and caring and teach them how to be good, then you did a good job..reguardless of how you put your children to bed... Lets stop the arguing, it really isnt worth it ladies...

I know...people can be so judgemental.

 

[momma leaps]

My son takes 2 naps a day without a problem. At 8 pm , he falls asleep on his own drinking his bottle. Around 3-4 am he wakes up crying hysterically, nothing calms him down, holding him while he is standing in the crib, bottle, mobile, talking to him, all he wants it to get out of his crib. If I take him out he is fine and calms down.

I have tried CIO, Sleep Lady, take bottle away, everything...... Nothing works.

Any suggestions on how to soothe him and get him back to sleep?

Thanks!

Have you tried pushing his bedtime up ? Sometimes 15 minutes earlier is all it takes. I highly recommend the book everyone else has talked about. Healthy Sleep Habits...

I once was a Co-Moderator of a sleep training board at ivillage. If you'd like you can PM me.

I would not eliminate either one of his naps. That will only make the problem worse. Did he just transition from 3 naps to 2 ? They usually do that around 9 months of age.

Also, nightime sleep and naps are organized in different parts of the brain. So, the way he falls asleep for naps has nothing to do the way he falls asleep at bedtime or remains asleep. You know that he is able to fall asleep on his own b/c he does it already. So that is not the issue.

I have 4 kids and I remember so well how frustrating it is when they won't sleep well.

It's not the worst thing to bring them into your bed if that is what works for YOUR family. There is no right and wrong answer. Every family is different and so is every solution.

Hope you get it resolved. Again, you can PM me if you'd like.

 

[jennilouwho]

My 8 month old just recently went through a similiar phase. If he was crying a light cry (kind of a half asleep cry) we'd let him cry it out and he was always back asleep within 5 minutes. If it's the hard wailing, like you are describing, then I'd go sit on his room floor in the dark and hold him until he fell back asleep and then put him to bed. I won't put him in bed with us because I'm worried about the safety of that. He isn't doing it as much now, so I'm not sure if it was teething issues or what it was. Good luck though!

 

[NotUrsula]

I grew up with parents from a culture where babies naturally slept with parents, and I did it in my turn. They moved me to a bed in their room when I was 3, and to my own room when I was 7 (when they bought a larger house -- I'm the youngest sibling).

When DS was born I kept him with us at night so that I didn't have to wake to feed him. Once he started sleeping through the night I moved him to a crib in our room, and after a few months of that to a crib in his room next door, then when he was able to climb out of that, to a bed in his room. It just wasn't a big deal or a trauma, for any of us. It just seemed to be a natural progression, and he accepted it as such. We never thought about CIO because he didn't cry at night unless he had a nightmare, and if that happened we brought him in with us. One way or another he always ended up back in his own bed by morning, either because one of us carried him there or because he got tired of the crowding and went back on his own.

I'm relating this because I want people to see that this issue doesn't have to be black & white; there are grey areas in the middle that vary with the child's personality and the parents' personalities. There is no "should" in this situation -- except that families should do whatever works for their own family dynamic, and to heck with what other people think about it. (And that goes double for any method found in a book. Read it, consider it, use whatever you find useful, or don't. A book is a book, not a mandate.)

BTW: Some kids just do NOT need that much sleep. I never did, and my child didn't either; though my DH is *still* a bear at 45 if he doesn't get 9.5 hours a night. Except when he is ill, my DS has never slept for more than 8 hours at a stretch in his life, and gave up napping entirely when he was not quite 2. (As did I at the same age.) Reducing or eliminating naps is not necessarily going to make the problem worse if the child can be shifted to get his necessary sleep in one bloc. You'll know by his temperament if this is true -- kids can't hide the effects of sleep deprivation.

 

[dfarner]

Everyones heart rate goes up when they cry. Fact is this is the start of a parent not being able to say no and let's face it we all know parents that cannot say no regardless of age.
You proved my point can't get up to breast feed...simply lazy.

As a mother of 2 children, both breast fed, I can say that the words breast fed and lazy don't even belong in the same sentence, for it is the mother who is always responsible for the nourishment of the child.In my own experience, breast feeding my daughters were very tough experiences at the beginning, but we stuck it out and made it through. And to equivocate comforting a sleepless, crying child to not being able to say "No" to the child later in life is absurd.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

As a mother of 2 children, both breast fed, I can say that the words breast fed and lazy don't even belong in the same sentence, for it is the mother who is always responsible for the nourishment of the child.In my own experience, breast feeding my daughters were very tough experiences at the beginning, but we stuck it out and made it through. And to equivocate comforting a sleepless, crying child to not being able to say "No" to the child later in life is absurd.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You need a reality check. I did breast feed 2 of my 4. I would guess your children are those screaming in the check out line because they have never heard the word "NO". Most of us feel those children are just delightful...Oh I forgot how much fun they when dining out as well!!!
Ashamed of what? Having kids that understand there are rules to live by? I will never be ashamed of instilling that valuable lesson.

 

[Ariel8676]

You need a reality check. I did breast feed 2 of my 4. I would guess your children are those screaming in the check out line because they have never heard the word "NO". Most of us feel those children are just delightful...Oh I forgot how much fun they when dining out as well!!!
Ashamed of what? Having kids that understand there are rules to live by? I will never be ashamed of instilling that valuable lesson.

Wow....you are probably one of the rudest, most judgemental people that i have come across on these boards in a very long time. I really hope in these "valuable lessons" you teach your children, you teach them that everyone is different, and when someone is different from you..or has a different lifestyle than you.. that it is not right to judge or be mean.
I breastfeed, co-sleep, make my own baby food and am a SAHM...i would never let my children CIO and do tend to them when needed. Does that make me better than someone who doesn't do these things? No way...
I also get complimented on how well behaved my children are EVERYTIME we take them out, oh and believe me they do know the word No.
Babies and children have feelings, and sometimes they just want to be comforted, or to cuddle...that isn't a bad thing...i think we all feel this way from time to time.
I think we should all just agree to disagree and move on..there are much more important things in life than this. Be the best Mom (or Dad) that you can be and hug and kiss your children..and tell them you love them..everyday...life is too Damn short...

 

[tjlovespooh]

My son takes 2 naps a day without a problem. At 8 pm , he falls asleep on his own drinking his bottle. Around 3-4 am he wakes up crying hysterically, nothing calms him down, holding him while he is standing in the crib, bottle, mobile, talking to him, all he wants it to get out of his crib. If I take him out he is fine and calms down.

I have tried CIO, Sleep Lady, take bottle away, everything...... Nothing works.

Any suggestions on how to soothe him and get him back to sleep?

Thanks!

I just wanted to give you a little support, hang in there. We have been trying to cope with DS sleep issues since he was 5mo (he's now 14mo). I too tried the sleep lady & I became too regimented about his sleep habits (trying to make sure he napped well etc) He's just always been a terrible sleeper. The king of 20 min naps! I've talked with so many other moms who have also had little ones who sleep poorly & I've come to the conclusion that each family does what works best for them. That may mean that family A takes their child to bed with them, family B let's their little one cio, & family C may do something entirely different.
Personally, I have never brought DS to bed with DH & I (not saying it hasn't crossed my mind a billion times or that I never will, just haven't yet). I've also never let DS CIO, it's just not in me. Once DS gets absolutely hysterical I can't help but think that I know I get a terrible headache when I cry - what if he feels the same? Also, when I was small & would start crying it was impossible to just turn those tears off no matter how often my mother would tell me to stop, sometimes children need to be soothed for reasons which they can't express. In my adult experience I've found this to be the case as well (although instead of tears the cry for help usually comes in the form of a mean disposition).
Good luck & hang in there ... the best advice I've recieved is to follow & "TRUST" your instincts

 

[susancl]

I have twin 7 month old boys and they both wake up once during the night as well.

I too put them down between 7:30pm and 8:30 pm. I have tried putting them later but it makes no difference.

I am debating on letting them CIO but I think this time is so short, I will just put up with it and hope they will one day sleep through the night like my son did.

I have to tell you my one little guy can fall asleep on his own for naps and bedtime and the other needs to be fed to fall asleep.

They both wake up crying in the night and this seems to make no difference at all.

My Mom suggested feeding them later like at 11pm and see if they can go until morning.

I may try this on the weekend and I will let you know how I make out.

Good Luck and I definately feel your pain.....double!!!

My twins ate twice/night until 9 months and once/night until 12 months. Your Mom's idea might work. Sounds like they are hungry.