need help with 9 month old sleep habits

[Monkeyfeet]

The only thing that is wrong is you started a bad habit that your child will suffer for when you no longer want him in your bed.

It is sad that you believe that meeting the needs of a child is a "bad habit."

Here are some great sites for those that are interested:
http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/sleeping.html
http://www.parentingweb.com/
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/index.asp
http://www.parentingdecisions.com/babyissues/
http://www.askdrsears.com/default.asp

and

www.mothering.com there is a whole forum on co-sleeping.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Well, I am a little taken aback that you have alluded to my sex life. But if it really matters to you we have never been bed people. We are very creative and well I will leave it at that. Several of my friends co-sleep (well actually there is a group of us in a playgroup, about 20 families) and all of them started co-sleeping with their first child and some are on their 4th, so no problems for them either if you are concerned.

Sure one can get out of their bed to breastfeed, but if the baby is in bed with you then no need to totally wake up. Common sense there!

Why let a child cry all alone? That seems cruel. When I cry I like to be comforted. I don't understand why a child should have to work through those feelings all alone. If my dh did not comfort me when I was crying I would be very upset with him. So how can one expect a baby to understand being left alone?

Actually it is not all about opinions in terms of how a baby physically responds to being left alone to cry versus being comforted by a parent. There have been many studies that show a baby's heart rate becomes elevated, etc.

Oh and dh is not ready for dd to leave the bed. He likes to be able to cuddle with both of us at night. He is in law enforcement and he knows what can happen to little ones. He feels every moment should be valued. He is really quite smart.

Everyones heart rate goes up when they cry. Fact is this is the start of a parent not being able to say no and let's face it we all know parents that cannot say no regardless of age.
You proved my point can't get up to breast feed...simply lazy.

 

[Monkeyfeet]

Everyones heart rate goes up when they cry. Fact is this is the start of a parent not being able to say no and let's face it we all know parents that cannot say no regardless of age.
You proved my point can't get up to breast feed...simply lazy.

Hmm, is name calling allowed on this board? Hopefully you are gentler with your children.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

It is said that you believe that meeting the needs of a child is a "bad habit."

Here are some great sites for those that are interested:
http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/sleeping.html
http://www.parentingweb.com/
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/index.asp
http://www.parentingdecisions.com/babyissues/
http://www.askdrsears.com/default.asp

and

www.mothering.com there is a whole forum on co-sleeping.

Meeting needs and spoiling are 2 very different things......

 

[Monkeyfeet]

Meeting needs and spoiling are 2 very different things......

I finally agree with you!!

 

[susancl]

I'm not going to comment on anything except - It's great that you ordered the book! You'll learn so much about sleep.

And..........

Don't listen to anyone who judges. Every family has their own way of raising children. Some firmly believe that children should never be in a parents bed and some firmly believe it's ok. We're somewhere in the middle. We like our children in their own beds, but sometimes they get sick or have bad dreams and they are with us. We used to be much more rigid in our beliefs, but after having children..... not so much.

 

[DreaGirl]

Get the book mentioned above, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It changed our lives...I'm not kidding either, it is wonderful.

 

[Monkeyfeet]

I apologize to the OP for getting away from what you asked.

There is also a book called, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution."

 

[Not so Dumbo]

This is about opinions.....why can't your children feel "secure" in their own beds? I am amazed that (most) of you feel a child can't cry without being automatically held......And as far as the breast feeding issue.....you can't get out of your bed to breast feed? Again in my opinion this is all the easier ways for the parents which doesn't always mean better for the child.
What have all these "shared" beds done to your marriages? I wonder how your husbands really feel.

WOW!!! Your "opinions" are getting a bit personal. BTW, just asked DH how "he really feels" he says " I don't care. I still get mine, I get to sleep and if she needs to come in at least that way she doesn't bother me by crying all night."
So honesty I don't know why you're so adiment and frankly insulting about this issue being so horrible for children and why you think that parents are being weak or controlled by their children. I certainly don't and won't view it that way.

 

[Hannathy]

Oh I don't know since I've been sharing the bed with my DH for nearly 30 yrs I guess it hasn't done too much damage! I see you were married in 2004....we'll talk in 2026 and see.

I do wonder how many children you have because you sound an awful lot like a childless friend of mine and her opinions. (which are also gospel truth-at least according to her)

IMO comfort your babies they are only babies for such a fleeting moment and they will never need you that much again. ITA that when I am upset I want comforted so why wouldn't they.

 

[ilovejack02]

, might I recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child?" It's our bible, I swear. Everything in that book worked like a charm on our DS. We weren't as vigilant with our DD and are paying for it now.

Good luck to you - I'm sending you good sleep vibes.

YES, YES , YES that book is great! that was my bible for all my kids and they all slept thru the night by 6months at the latest, and I have never had ANY sleep issues with any of them! some find the book alittle tough, it can break your heart to hear your little one cry it out, but I am telling you , you have to do it , you won't be sorry later.
This topic could bring alot of suggestions etc, some people can't or would never ever consider letting the baby cry it out.. You have to do what feels right for your family, but it DOES work.. good luck... I know how trying it can be.

ps.. moving your child's bedtime later is NOT the answer, if you read the book you will see why.[/QUOTE]

WOO HOO I LOVE THAT BOOK!!!!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This is about opinions.....why can't your children feel "secure" in their own beds? I am amazed that (most) of you feel a child can't cry without being automatically held......And as far as the breast feeding issue.....you can't get out of your bed to breast feed? Again in my opinion this is all the easier ways for the parents which doesn't always mean better for the child.
What have all these "shared" beds done to your marriages? I wonder how your husbands really feel.

I would really like to know if you have any kids. You have so many rude opinions that have no basis or fact. Even the AAP doesn't support CIO.

Oh- and how does my husband feel? He loves getting to snuggle with our little ones. Oh- and if you are alluding to more intimate matters- since I am pregnant with my 4th child I hardly think that's an issue.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Oh I don't know since I've been sharing the bed with my DH for nearly 30 yrs I guess it hasn't done too much damage! I see you were married in 2004....we'll talk in 2026 and see.

I do wonder how many children you have because you sound an awful lot like a childless friend of mine and her opinions. (which are also gospel truth-at least according to her)

IMO comfort your babies they are only babies for such a fleeting moment and they will never need you that much again. ITA that when I am upset I want comforted so why wouldn't they.

Silly for you to assume this is a first marriage and family hasn't been in place for many years. You know what they say about assumptions. Also if you want "to talk in 2006" you missed the boat.
Crying when a baby is sick, in pain is one thing and there is not enough cuddling in the world, that is not what this is about. This topic was taking a child out of there crib/bed in the wee hours of the morning so they don't cry...it is MUCH EASIER to give in and place them in your bed rather than ride it out. Saying yes is always easier than saying no.
The answer to your question is 4...I have 4 children.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I would really like to know if you have any kids. You have so many rude opinions that have no basis or fact. Even the AAP doesn't support CIO.

Oh- and how does my husband feel? He loves getting to snuggle with our little ones. Oh- and if you are alluding to more intimate matters- since I am pregnant with my 4th child I hardly think that's an issue.

4......2 of each. When the new baby arrives do you have to move out of your bed and sleep in the crib?
Opinions are not rude just a personal belief.....we are all entiltled to one.
Peace.

 

[honeymom]

Some kids don't operate by the book when it comes to sleep. I wish each child came with its own manual because we sometimes need it.

My two kids couldn't be more different. The first one slept really well and through the night at 6 weeks old. All we had to do was put her down and she would go to sleep. So I thought it was a parenting thing - that we were just doing it all right. Our second child was the opposite. He was the baby that could only sleep in a swing for the first two months. Afterwards he got me up about 5 times a night and only took two 25 minute naps a day (with his eyes half open nonetheless). Luckily he had a pleasant personality (I can't say that I did with the lack of sleep that I had). I quickly learned that parenting a certain way can only go so far - when it comes to sleep sometimes genes rule. We definitely tried everything - including crying it out, putting him in our bed, different music. You name it we tried it.

I did find that as he got older and I could cut him back to one nap a day, he did much better. He started taking a 2-3 hour nap and started to sleep through the night. Your child may be ready to cut back to 1 nap a day. You'll have to make the decision based on what you think is best, but it is something you might want to try.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

4......2 of each. When the new baby arrives do you have to move out of your bed and sleep in the crib?
Opinions are not rude just a personal belief.....we are all entiltled to one.
Peace.

No need to move out of the bed as our whole house is one big mattress!

Yes- opinions are personal beliefs and we are all entitled to our own, but that doesn't mean that you have to come across as rude just because others don't agree.
Live and let live if you will.

 

[kribit]

He is probably outgrowing one of his naps. By 9 mos none of mine were taking 2 naps. My DD actually wasn't taking any naps, but she never slept. That seems like a lot of sleep.

I thought this too, but all children are different and I honestly can't remember back that far, but I "believe" they were down to one nap or weaning down to 1 at that point. I know that wasn't very helpful, but perhaps you could try and see.

DH and I were what some would consider "very very bad" when it came to our kids sleep habits though. When they cried we took them in bed with us. SHAME, SHAME... They're 4 and sleep in their own beds now, so we didn't do too much damage.

 

[Disney Fanatic]

I have twin 7 month old boys and they both wake up once during the night as well.

I too put them down between 7:30pm and 8:30 pm. I have tried putting them later but it makes no difference.

I am debating on letting them CIO but I think this time is so short, I will just put up with it and hope they will one day sleep through the night like my son did.

I have to tell you my one little guy can fall asleep on his own for naps and bedtime and the other needs to be fed to fall asleep.

They both wake up crying in the night and this seems to make no difference at all.

My Mom suggested feeding them later like at 11pm and see if they can go until morning.

I may try this on the weekend and I will let you know how I make out.

Good Luck and I definately feel your pain.....double!!!

 

[barkley]

just my personal experience to share-dd was allowed to cio (after we checked to ensure nothing was distressing her) to no detriment-has wonderful, independant sleeping habits. ds was also raised to cio (same practice) but when he was around 8 months old he had a bit of a tough time with being sick, and dh and i felt more secure taking him into our bed. ds will be 10 in two weeks-very independant, very good sleeping habits-BUT ONLY IF IN BED WITH ONE OF US. we've been doing the sit in his bedroom thing for close to a month and we still wake up to find him crawled into bed with us. maybe not an issue for other parents-but i don't find it appropriate. it became a habit for him at first-now it's a choice, and he can present a compelling, articulate arguement for it (as he did for his psychologist) 'why should i sleep alone in my bed-i want to be able to roll over and feel a warm body next to me to cuddle up to-i don't want a toy or a pet, i want my mom or dad'

i realy wish i had opted to have a daybed in the room with his crib when he was little-i could have felt close but i would'nt have established this habit with him.


op-is it possible since the baby's going to sleep with a bottle that initialy it had some gas (since i assume you don't wake it to burp)-and now it's become a habit? reason i ask is dd had terrible colic when she was a baby and even after the colic subsided she would wake up at the same time every middle of the night crying to be walked and soothed. we ended up doing it but shortening the time each night until it was basicly soothing her in her crib. she ended up stirring a bit at the same time for a few nights near the end, but she would start playing with the crib toys and soothe herself back to sleep.

good luck to you-right now with our ds's sleep issues i'm feeling very similar to the way i did 'back in the day'.

 

[Ariel8676]

Fist of all to the OP..i hope you get these sleep issues figured out soon, and you all get a good night's sleep!
Second Ladies look at what this thread has become..this Mama came here asking for advice and this turned into another debate, and the name calling is just completely uncalled for.
I personally dont beleive that CIO is a good thing for anyone, our Ped. agrees with us on that one. I beleive in meeting the needs of my children, whether is be 1 in the afternoon or 3 am. I have co-slept with all 3 of my children and they are 5,4 and 1..the older 2 are in their own beds...because they want to be. They are happy , healthy well rounded VERY independant young ladies.
I understand that this is not for everyone, but to put someone down and call names ..ie,lazy..is just not right.
We are all mothers and should stick together because we love our children. As long as you raise your children with love and caring and teach them how to be good, then you did a good job..reguardless of how you put your children to bed... Lets stop the arguing, it really isnt worth it ladies...