need help with 9 month old sleep habits

[MattysMommy]

My son takes 2 naps a day without a problem. At 8 pm , he falls asleep on his own drinking his bottle. Around 3-4 am he wakes up crying hysterically, nothing calms him down, holding him while he is standing in the crib, bottle, mobile, talking to him, all he wants it to get out of his crib. If I take him out he is fine and calms down.

I have tried CIO, Sleep Lady, take bottle away, everything...... Nothing works.

Any suggestions on how to soothe him and get him back to sleep?

Thanks!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

My son takes 2 naps a day without a problem. At 8 pm , he falls asleep on his own drinking his bottle. Around 3-4 am he wakes up crying hysterically, nothing calms him down, holding him while he is standing in the crib, bottle, mobile, talking to him, all he wants it to get out of his crib. If I take him out he is fine and calms down.

I have tried CIO, Sleep Lady, take bottle away, everything...... Nothing works.

Any suggestions on how to soothe him and get him back to sleep?

Thanks!

Seems 8pm is just to early for him....you will have to put the bottle off so he can make it longer through the night. What are the times of his naps?

 

[wrighter]

Ah, the joys of sleep issues. Believe me, I know them well. There could be a bazillion reasons why your little guy is giving you grief - and as soon as you get this issue figured out he'll invent another one. It is SO exhausting. We had it fairly easy with our DS3, but our DD1 is another story entirely.

Rather than list the litany of things we've tried, might I recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child?" It's our bible, I swear. Everything in that book worked like a charm on our DS. We weren't as vigilant with our DD and are paying for it now.

Good luck to you - I'm sending you good sleep vibes.

 

[MattysMommy]

He usually naps 9:30 - 11 and the 1:30 - 3:30.

 

[ampc3]

, might I recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child?" It's our bible, I swear. Everything in that book worked like a charm on our DS. We weren't as vigilant with our DD and are paying for it now.

Good luck to you - I'm sending you good sleep vibes. [/QUOTE]

YES, YES , YES that book is great! that was my bible for all my kids and they all slept thru the night by 6months at the latest, and I have never had ANY sleep issues with any of them! some find the book alittle tough, it can break your heart to hear your little one cry it out, but I am telling you , you have to do it , you won't be sorry later.
This topic could bring alot of suggestions etc, some people can't or would never ever consider letting the baby cry it out.. You have to do what feels right for your family, but it DOES work.. good luck... I know how trying it can be.

ps.. moving your child's bedtime later is NOT the answer, if you read the book you will see why.

 

[Hannathy]

He is probably outgrowing one of his naps. By 9 mos none of mine were taking 2 naps. My DD actually wasn't taking any naps, but she never slept. That seems like a lot of sleep.

IMO babies should not "cry it out"

 

[NotUrsula]

I'd start with cutting out one of the naps; probably the first one. You'll be dealing with a few days of grumpy for awhile for sure.

As for the screaming, it *could* be night terrors. Is he screaming in fear or in frustration? If you have a mobile or wall decor above or near the crib you might consider getting rid of it -- my DS developed a fear of a print on the wall that he could only see clearly from the inside of the crib (in later years he told us that it looked sinister in the dark.) We took the print out of his room, and the problem went away. BTW: It wasn't precisely a painting that looked scary; it was Van Gogh's Boats on the Beach at Saintes-Marie http://www.globalgallery.com/enlarge/018-22268/
You just never know what will set kids off.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

My DD started doing the samething within a week or two ago. Some nights she sleeps just fine and others she wakes up around 3A and can't cry herself back to sleep. I'm chaulking it up to either teething, a growth spurt, or a virus making her not feel very well. At that age, you just never know if they have a sore throat or something.

I know we're not helping things, we've started taking her into our room when she wakes up and she sleeps with us until she's calmed down and then we move her back. I know it might create a habbit, but being the 3rd child and the only girl..... we tend to spoiler her a little too much.

 

[Monkeyfeet]

I know we're not helping things, we've started taking her into our room when she wakes up and she sleeps with us until she's calmed down and then we move her back. I know it might create a habbit, but being the 3rd child and the only girl..... we tend to spoiler her a little too much.

There s absolutely nothing wrong with this, please do not let anyone tell you otherwise. And so what if it becomes a habit! Letting her cry would be so wrong on so many levels. That awful sleep trainer that is for CIO actually recanted that approach in an interview with MAtt Laur (sp?) He actually said research is showing it is not healthy.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Well you are aware of why she won't calm down....she wants to go into your bed. That is a habit that you started and now she has control. You need to start from square one and stay in her room until she calms down and goes back to sleep...you will have a miserable time at the start but it is better for everyone involved. Children need to have their bed and Mommy and Daddy need their own bed.

When children "need" to be in your bed it is more about what the parents need or the parent wants the easy way out....just let her sleep in our bed, very bad.
In the future you will want her to experience sleep overs and trips without you.....this is not the way to foster independence.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am sorry but that is the biggest bunch of phoey I ever heard. I can assure you that I don't need to have everyone in bed with me. I can sleep alone just fine thank you. It is not the "easy way out" either. It is called meeting the needs of your child and only in this country is it frowned upon. Let me assure you that my children are more independent than any of my CIO friends' kids. They have no problem sleeping in their own beds. They also know that if they wake up they can come into our bed. We co- sleep when the kids are young and it works just fine for all of them. A little FYI- meeting the needs of your child DOES foster independence. It lets them know that you will always be there for them. My kids don't cry when going into school and never did, they stay just fine for playdates and family visits etc. I personally don't care what you chose to do in your own home but don't insult others who have made a different choice especially when you have no idea how their choice works.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

Well you are aware of why she won't calm down....she wants to go into your bed. That is a habit that you started and now she has control. You need to start from square one and stay in her room until she calms down and goes back to sleep...you will have a miserable time at the start but it is better for everyone involved. Children need to have their bed and Mommy and Daddy need their own bed.

When children "need" to be in your bed it is more about what the parents need or the parent wants the easy way out....just let her sleep in our bed, very bad.
In the future you will want her to experience sleep overs and trips without you.....this is not the way to foster independence.

I'm not sure if you are refering to me or the OP, but if it's me I just want to clear something up.

I'm not complaining about my DD. I was only suggesting other possibilities of why OP's son may be waking up at night. My DD is my 3rd child, which means that I've already raised 2 other children past this age. I know how to handle them, I know when things are getting too far out of hand, I'll be alright with this one as well.

 

[Monkeyfeet]

Well you are aware of why she won't calm down....she wants to go into your bed. That is a habit that you started and now she has control. You need to start from square one and stay in her room until she calms down and goes back to sleep...you will have a miserable time at the start but it is better for everyone involved. Children need to have their bed and Mommy and Daddy need their own bed.

When children "need" to be in your bed it is more about what the parents need or the parent wants the easy way out....just let her sleep in our bed, very bad.
In the future you will want her to experience sleep overs and trips without you.....this is not the way to foster independence.

I could not disagree with you more. If a baby or toddler co-sleeps w/ the parents, it is not "very bad." The child will develop healthy sleep habits. And no it does not mean that the child will not be able to attend sleep overs later in life. Trust me, I am sure dd will be able to get married and sleep with her dh w/out her parents in bed with them.

Also, it is best for the breastfeeding relationship to have the mom and baby near one another at night.

Dd is just a little over 2. She was worn in a sling, still sleeps with us, never let to cio and we get comments from strangers all the time about her independence. She is happy, care free, and securely attached. She knows that mommy and daddy are there for her and would never let her cry without holding her.

 

[5starmom]

How does she fall asleep for her naps? In her bed alone or with you right there...or falling asleep while drinking and/or in your arms? If the latter, I'd work on getting her to take her naps without assistance before changing the nighttime routine.

We have 6 children and as time goes on, I cherish the few months of our babies' lives when they want to be close to me at night even more and am OK with this short season. My 8 month old gets scared when he falls asleep in one place--next to me or in his portacrib--and then wakes up somewhere else! lol Freaks him right out!

At night, we give him his bottle a little later and some baby food and he sleeps much longer, wakes less often.

I'm not of the opinion that babies really "control" their parents, BUT I do believe that we train them to sleep well, sleep comfortably alone and such. I'm an adult and like to sleep with some white noise. No one taught me that, though. Babies have their habits, too.

We are starting to let ds fall asleep on his own for naps and at night we start out by getting him relaxed and sleepy, then putting him down and humming, rubbing his back--he prefers sleeping on his tummy now!

Sorry I don't have a formula to offer! This time will pass soon and every child is different. I've had babies sleep through the night at 6 weeks and 6 months, some never going back and some regressing and waking during growth spurts. We just do what feels right for each baby at the time and know the phase will pass if we gently help them along.

 

[Hannathy]

Go Mouse House Mama ! I totally agree with you! I am sick of these CIO stating their OPINIONS as though the are scientific facts. Both my kids slept with us as needed and both are totally independent kids. What a load about not being able to go on sleepovers, my DS was and is only one of 2 Cub Scouts in his Den/pack who immediately wanted to go to sleepover camp this summer at 8. Knowing you answer their need whenever they need you and not when it is convenient to Mom is to me more important than any sleep. My DD has flown by her self and spent time alone with her Aunt every summer since 2nd grade. Do what you want with your kids but don't declare your way as the only right way.

 

[ampc3]

[Ihannathy the op was asking[B for peoples opinions! I clearly said she needs to do what is right for her family.
And it did work for my family, and my kids are very independent. Ithink the most important thing (which ever method you choose) is being consistant.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

This is about opinions.....why can't your children feel "secure" in their own beds? I am amazed that (most) of you feel a child can't cry without being automatically held......And as far as the breast feeding issue.....you can't get out of your bed to breast feed? Again in my opinion this is all the easier ways for the parents which doesn't always mean better for the child.
What have all these "shared" beds done to your marriages? I wonder how your husbands really feel.

 

[MattysMommy]

Thank you all for your opinions. I ordered the book today. I am glad to see some people do not view letting your child into your bed is the end of the world. I just can't let him cry for hours. He is only little once and if he is that hysterical something is wrong.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Thank you all for your opinions. I ordered the book today. I am glad to see some people do not view letting your child into your bed is the end of the world. I just can't let him cry for hours. He is only little once and if he is that hysterical something is wrong.

The only thing that is wrong is you started a bad habit that your child will suffer for when you no longer want him in your bed.

 

[Monkeyfeet]

This is about opinions.....why can't your children feel "secure" in their own beds? I am amazed that (most) of you feel a child can't cry without being automatically held......And as far as the breast feeding issue.....you can't get out of your bed to breast feed? Again in my opinion this is all the easier ways for the parents which doesn't always mean better for the child.
What have all these "shared" beds done to your marriages? I wonder how your husbands really feel.

Well, I am a little taken aback that you have alluded to my sex life. But if it really matters to you we have never been bed people. We are very creative and well I will leave it at that. Several of my friends co-sleep (well actually there is a group of us in a playgroup, about 20 families) and all of them started co-sleeping with their first child and some are on their 4th, so no problems for them either if you are concerned.

Sure one can get out of their bed to breastfeed, but if the baby is in bed with you then no need to totally wake up. Common sense there!

Why let a child cry all alone? That seems cruel. When I cry I like to be comforted. I don't understand why a child should have to work through those feelings all alone. If my dh did not comfort me when I was crying I would be very upset with him. So how can one expect a baby to understand being left alone?

Actually it is not all about opinions in terms of how a baby physically responds to being left alone to cry versus being comforted by a parent. There have been many studies that show a baby's heart rate becomes elevated, etc.

Oh and dh is not ready for dd to leave the bed. He likes to be able to cuddle with both of us at night. He is in law enforcement and he knows what can happen to little ones. He feels every moment should be valued. He is really quite smart.