Need Help........the church will not recognize our marriage in Disney

[ExCMbeau]

TAZ you are right...

My future wife is a devout Catholic. She went to Catholic school and loves the Catholic church. Here family is "very" Catholic and they are all wonderfull people. I am Baptist. I have no problem with getting married in the Catholic church and I am quite happy about growing both spiritually and emotionally with another strong Christian family. Here is the problem...

When we looked into getting married at the church that she has gone to since she was brought into this world... well things went wrong.

First I won't get into the fees... second they objected to me having been previously married (long story). This meant we could not get married in the Catholic Church... this sent her family in an uproar. So they did research and talked to the priest and it turns out that if I go through some kind of Catholic annlument then we could get married in the Catholic church. I had no problem with this untill I found out what it involved. First money and lots of it! Try thousands of dollars. Then they have to contact my ex-wife! I will not give this woman a chance to ruin my new found life and marriage. I don't want her to be a part of any of this.

Now my FW feels betrayed by the Catholic Church. She has given her entire life to the Church up to this point. She is happy and feels this is a blessing from God and can't share it with her church. She realizes that legally she can't take communion now.

Hey... the Catholic church DOES recognize marriages outside the church... they want to charge me $$$ to undo a marriage that took place outside the church. If they don't recognize it then why do I have to pay them to forget about it?

It is more important for us to have our marriage recognized by God then it is to have it recognized by the Catholic church.

When we stand before our friends and family and pray to God that we commit our life to each other then we are married. When we sign the license... then the state of Florida considers us married.

Please understand this is just my experience and my opinions. I am in no way bashing anything or anyone here... just relating a true experience.

 

[chrissyk]

Originally posted by ilovefh
Since this thread is already up and running...does anyone know about the Eastern Orthodox church? Just curious! We haven't looked into it yet since our date isnt for two yrs but I'd really like our marriage blessed by the Greek Orthodox church should I chose to marry in WDW. Has anyone had any experience with this?

My mother is Greek Orthodox, and my father is Catholic. The Greek Orthodox church flat-out refused to marry them to each other They were therefore married in the Catholic church by default. I think that my mom said that my dad would have had to convert to Orthodoxy to get married in the Greek church! I don't know if things have changed since then, but none of my cousins have been able to marry in the Greek church (they all married non-Orthodox spouses).

This is just my 2 cents, but if the bride and groom aren't practicing Catholics, they shouldn't feel obligated to be married in the church. By doing so, you are "promising" to raise your kids Catholic. Remember that you can't please everyone, and ultimately it's your wedding

I should add that I was raised Catholic, but I am not practicing. I chose to be married in a civil ceremony, as I felt very uncomfortable promising to raise my children Catholic when I know that I would never do so.

 

[ilovefh]

They were therefore married in the Catholic church by default. I think that my mom said that my dad would have had to convert to Orthodoxy to get married in the Greek church!

This is one thing that bothers me about all religions...not just my own...things vary by congregation. My dad was not baptized at all and was able to be married in the greek church only after being baptized any christian religion (he was baptized at the congregational church). I assume there are parishes the enforce the both greek orthodox rule, I wish they all followed one rule! I know in our parish only one has to be orthodox but the best man and maid of honor must be orthodox.

 

[chrissyk]

Originally posted by ilovefh
This is one thing that bothers me about all religions...not just my own...things vary by congregation. My dad was not baptized at all and was able to be married in the greek church only after being baptized any christian religion (he was baptized at the congregational church). I assume there are parishes the enforce the both greek orthodox rule, I wish they all followed one rule! I know in our parish only one has to be orthodox but the best man and maid of honor must be orthodox.

I had no idea that different parishes upheld different rules. I see that you're from NH. The Greek church that refused to marry my parents was in Northeast MA, so not all that far from you I'm presuming. How strange that the rules are so different! As for the best man/maid of honor thing, that would have been a problem. My mom's Maid Of Honor was Greek Orthodox, but my dad's Best Man was Catholic. I don't think that that was the main problem, though. The way my mom and grandmother tell it, the Greek church didn't want to marry an Orthodox parishoner to a Catholic spouse.

The funniest part of this is that I was raised Catholic, but my Godmother is actually Greek Orthodox I guess that the "rules" probably vary from parish to parish and priest to priest. The Catholic priest who baptized me is a very close friend of my mom's Orthodox family I wonder how the actual church hierarchy would have felt about an Orthodox person promising to oversee my Catholic upbringing as my Godmother

 

[eclipseSD]

Even though my post goes against the whole purpose of this board, here is what I believe about devout Catholics marrying at Disney. You can do whatever you want and you are no less Catholic than I (probably). I know almost everyone here disagrees with me, and flame away if you wish, but I just thought an alternate opinion should be heard.

It was my dream to get someday get married at WDW until I realized the superficialness of it all and read more Church doctrine. This woman and I are going to unite our souls forever under the presence of Mickey Mouse and Cinderella's Castle? Somethings are much more important to me than Disney World ever can be, and the God and the Catholic Church come first in my life exponentally more than Disney ever will. You know, Ecclesiastes was right: "Oh vanities of vanities....all is vanity." If there is anything more vain to me than professing my real undying love and faithfulness to the woman I adore in an entertainment complex which is purely secular and tries to take me away from reality. Love for my God and my spouse and a devotion to my entire belief system is way more important than getting wed by a presbyterian with a view of Cinderella's Castle. IMO

If I wanted to incorporate Disney into my post wedding plans, I would, though I would rather go to Rome on my honeymoon and have my marriage blessed by the Pope. My ideal marriage would be in St. Peter's Basilica, a much less Disneyfied experience than the Grand Floridian I'm sure, but ultimately a more faith inspiring one.

How is Disney World sacred anyway? There exists no tribute or devotion to God here. It is a secular entertainment complex designed to provide enjoyment for families, not a house of God. Of course you could say, "God is everywhere and will recognize our union no matter what." While that may be true, is that a valid excuse? With that line of thinking, you could get married in a garbage dump, a satanic church, a mall, Las Vegas, or the Grand Canyon and God will not blink twice. I do not believe this.

If there is an opportunity to even have a small ceremony at your Church before a Disney wedding or after or you must have an annulment, and you don't, but decide Disney is more important, I believe that could constitute a sin. You are turning your back on God and the Church in favor of a secular chapel with a priest you do not even believe in.

The Church does not hold this policy because they are stuck in the Middle Ages or are simply out for financial gain. On a broad interpretation, the second commandment is telling us to put God first, and no other idols. Sure you may not be a pagan, but does holding Disney above God and His church not put God below the false idol and romanticism of Disney World? I'm not saying Disney is Satan, I'm just saying that over devotion to anything but God can put it above God, and thus tamper your spiritual life. It's like skipping Mass on a Sunday to go to a sports game or even a theme park, but saying "God doesn't care." What do you hold more important?

Mary Queen of the Universe, by the way, does seem to be there more to make money from the tourists in the area than to be a Church of God, but that is just me.

Saying it costs more to get married in the Church is ridiculous if your live 200 miles or more away from Disney. Let's see airfare, hotel, wedding pavilion, park admission (probably), reception, and other costs for 50 or more people. Perhaps some people would only go to a wedding if it were at an interesting location, so couples have it at WDW to draw more people. Perhaps it is just an excuse to have a giant family reunion at WDW. Perhaps it is none of these. But usually it is not unite as Catholics celebrating two couples celebrating their union under God and the church.

JMHO Use all the and symbols you want.

 

[snubie]

I just had to chime in on this one...

My Dh and I were married on September 27, 2003 . We were both raised Catholic however I was previously married. I agree with a poster above about annulments. Why should I have to pay lots and lots of money so they church can foregt about that marriage before I can get married again, makes no sense to me.

We decided to get married in an outdoor chapel in a state park in my home state of Rhode Island. We had a beautiful sunny day and God was shining down on us quite brightly that afternoon. I fell no less blessed having been married outdoors.

Yes our parents were slightly disappointed at first when we announced our plans but they got over it quickly and realized it was our day to express our love to the world.

My advice, do what you feel is best for you. Don't let your parents or families pressure you into something you don't want. You have only one wedding day (hopefully) and make it what you want and will cherish.

Stacey

 

[twojo21]

when it comes to marriage, i hope every couple decides what is best for them and their faith. me and my h2b are both christians and feel god is everywhere. neither of us are narrowminded enough to rule are lives by another mans interpretation of the lord. we follow are hearts. we are having are wedding at wdw. we feel god is everywhere, even more so outside amongst nature and his creations. i see wdw as a magical place where my family and i, as well as me and my h2b have shared many laughs and memories. i see wdw as not only a beautiful place to be married but a place for my whole family to be together and getaway. life is about happiness, god and family in my opinion. i feel all those will be in attendance at my wedding. i wish every bride the wedding of their dreams, a life full of happiness and a faith ever growing. as for the catholic church, mickey69, best of luck. tj.

 

[Mich Mouse]

xCMbeau....

My sister had an almost identical experience with the Catholic Church.....For the right price, they would provide her with an annulment, and allow her to be married again within the church. Her decision was to have a beautiful, outdoor beach ceremony, where God was most certainly present.

Organized religion is organized by man......and man is not perfect. Only god is ! This is something previous posters and all who inhabit the earth might give some serious thought to.

God Bless You !

 

[Darian-Dawn]

Maybe you should find another church{sorry}. I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I was raised catholic and this is just one of the reasons I am no longer a part of that. Your religion does not marry you, God does, As long as your wedding is of pure heart I am quite sure that God does not care when you get married. The person performing the ceremony at Disney is the one who will be giving you the blessing. You will be married and it will be blessed. If your church will not bless your wedding just because it is not in their church, that should tell you something. I hope you will not let this ruin your wedding or your heart. Good luck to you.