Just some additional (and conflicting) information:
We are having the marriage rite this Saturday in the Catholic church. We were married in a civil ceremony almost 7 years ago (actually, 7 years on Saturday) and have put it off for far too long. (Mainly because of financial reasons - we were married young, had children young, and DH was in college/law school and we were BROOOOOOKE)
Catholic weddings are expensive in some parishes - our parish at the time wanted $500 and a stipend for the priest on top of it - as well as the cost of the musician ($100 per person, typically, is what is mandated by the diocese).
We are finally able to do it "right" and are having a nuptial mass and marriage rite. Our pastor explained that he always enforces a full mass for the sacrament of matrimony - because it is a sacrament. We were also told to invite whomever we wanted and we are sort of going half-way on other things...I printed the invitations (which were sort of formal), my dress is white matte jersey with pearl trim - dressy, but not a frou frou gown, yk? The girls (our daughters) are the attendants and flower girls - and we will all walk in together as a family instead of me processing down. We will carry hand-tied bouquets of roses and eucalyptus (which has special meaning for us with the girls). We will have our original two witnesses that signed the civil ceremony document as our matron of honor and best man again.
Let's see - what else? We are having a musician, since hymns are such an intregal part of the Catholic Mass...he is playing the organ and singing.
There will be around 50 guests (30 adults and almost 20 kids) and Father thougth that was an excellent number. Basically, he recommended we invite those we see on a regular basis, and leave out the "once a year" relatives and friends. We thought that was great advice.
The marriage rite is just before communion, and we are doing the whole exchange of vows and unity candle deal, because our priest advocated it. However, I have an aunt who had a previous marriage anulled and was remarried in the church and her priest was not nearly as supportive as ours is. Maybe just because she had been married before and DH and I have not...you know?
After the mass we are having a luncheon/banquet to follow. Not a full-blown reception, mostly just food and cake and sparkling cider
It is also St. Nick's Day so we have incorporated some of those traditions into the luncheon for all the kiddos who will be there. We leave from the luncheon for our "familymoon" and will be celebrating our newly-blessed marriage at Disneyworld!
For us, being Catholics, we know that the church does not recognize our civil union. Therefore, even though we are 'legally' married, this is truly a celebratory event and far more important and special to us, spiritually. It is not the priest who blesses the union, ultimately - it is God through the priest.
I wouldn't do the ceremony back home before your wedding, personally - but maybe you can look into having a ceremony in a nearby parish in the Orlando Diocese? I know they have a website - if you google Orlando Diocese you will find it. Just call some parishes and see if any of them would be willing to do a small convalidation on the day of your wedding. They might not - but it's worth a shot if it means that much to you (or the family). Plus, then you'll only have one anniversary. Otherwise, you can always do it when you get back from the big wedding...but I'd do the guest-attended one first. And, be sure to at least invite the parents to the convalidation!
Oh - and we didn't have to go through pre-cana - because we've been married 7 years and our Priest said he really didn't see why we needed to discuss raising children when our kids are already with us every Sunday at mass
Remember that you can't please everyone, try as you may. Be sure to have the wedding that YOU and YOUR FIANCE want, too.
