Need help making a decision

[hinodis]

We are taking a budget vacation during spring break. It will be me, DH and DD 13. We are staying in a condo on the beach. We are planning on enjoying the pool and the beach to keep in line with the budget. No expensive touristy stuff. I am considering letting DD13 bring a friend so she will not get too bored. HOWEVER, I would have to ask the friends parents to buy her plane ticket and pay for a couple of nice dinners out and suveniers etc... I have a budget and I am sticking to it. I have managed to get plane tickets, rent an SUV and rent a condo for 8 nights for only $1849!

 

[okeydokey]

I wouldn't ask her to pay for any meals. Usually I say just souvenir money, but you could ask about the plane ticket too.

 

[hinodis]

I wouldn't ask her to pay for any meals. Usually I say just souvenir money, but you could ask about the plane ticket too.

I was worried about this as well. This is a cash vacation and I only have so much cash. That is why I am hesitant in asking.

 

[mjkacmom]

I can understand bringing a friend - heck, dd14 said she didn't want to go on our last vacation (a cruise) because she wouldn't have any friends with her, and she's not even an only child. I convinced her she'd meet other teens, and I was right, and she had a blast.

Since bringing a friend is mostly because it would benefit your dd, you should at least pay for her meals. You would be buying groceries anyway, so having a friend come is costing you really nothing if the friend pays for restaurant meals and airfare.

 

[MickeyBA]

I would feel completely comfortable asking them to pay their own airfare and junk she wants to buy, but I think I would pay for the food. I bet you could get away with saving some even by giving them the option of hanging out in the condo while you and dh go out and have a nice dinner alone! Let them make sandwiches and promise to bring them ice cream or something when you get back! I have a 13 year old and she would love the time alone with her friend and the chance to get out of sitting in a stuffy restaurant.

 

[undertheradar]

If I couldn't afford to pay for the friend, I wouldn't make the invite. If the friends' parents offered to pay for the airfare I don't think I'd accept it. How would the friend's airfare be handled if you already booked your airfare?

 

[hinodis]

If I couldn't afford to pay for the friend, I wouldn't make the invite. If the friends' parents offered to pay for the airfare I don't think I'd accept it. How would the friend's airfare be handled if you already booked your airfare?

Her parents would buy a ticket for the same flights we have.

 

[shortbun]

When we take a friend, we pay the bills except spending money for souvenirs. My brother did the same thing with his son's friends. You are taking this child so your child is happy on vacation, right? Imho, asking for them to pay for their child's trip would be akin to inviting someone over for dinner and giving them the grocery bill for reimbursement.

eta: we do leave our son and his friend at 'home' with pizza and a couple of DVD's while we go to a nice dinner. The boys love the alone time and so do we. I would feel comfortable with this only age 14 or higher. Also, we vacation in the same area every year and our son knows where he is, where the fire department is(just down the road 1/2 mile) and they both have cell phones.

 

[Dashzap]

I am considering letting DD13 bring a friend so she will not get too bored. HOWEVER, I would have to ask the friends parents to buy her plane ticket and pay for a couple of nice dinners out and suveniers etc... I have a budget and I am sticking to it.

If you invite a guest, she's a guest and shouldn't pay. If you are friends with DD13's friend's parents and know them well enough to discuss your financial situation, you could ask them to pay her airfare and give her pin money for souvenirs. I wouldn't be comfortable asking for anything else.

That's just me. Your mileage may vary.

 

[NBFUN]

DH and I are just starting to have these conversations regarding our DS8. We have decided that if we invite a friend for him, that it is at our expense. If we can't afford to pay for the friend to come, then we wouldn't ask.

This summer DS took a friend to Gatlinburg with us and we didn't ask for any money, but his mom sent along an envelope with money in it for him. It did not get used.

I know that Disney and Gatlinburg are COMPLETELY different, however, we feel that if we invite, we should pay.

This being said, I think it is a personal choice and one you make that is best for your family. I would not be insulted if DS had a friend ask him to go somewhere and then have the parents ask for money. It would then be our decision as to whether we can afford it or not.

Good luck with your decision...either way, you'll have a great time together as a family.

 

[AlternateEgo]

Don't say anything to your DD or her friends and go talk to the friends parents. Be honest and tell them you would love to take their DD on a vacation but can't afford the flight.

As far as meals go, eat less expensive restaurants or leave them at condo. Make it work. But don't expect friends parents to pay for meals too.

 

[hinodis]

IF I could afford it I would pay. That is the problem. We go to Gatlinburg every summer and DD has a friend go and we always pay for everything. I myself would not have a problem if someone asked me to pay for a plane ticket and food. Its a cheap trip to the beach 9 days if its only a plane ticket and food. It will cost her about $275 for the whole trip.

 

[hinodis]

Don't say anything to your DD or her friends and go talk to the friends parents. Be honest and tell them you would love to take their DD on a vacation but can't afford the flight.

As far as meals go, eat less expensive restaurants or leave them at condo. Make it work. But don't expect friends parents to pay for meals too.

This is definitely a great idea. The parents are friends of ours.

 

[Darcy03231]

With 4 kids we've invited many friends to join us over the years, but we don't invite unless we can cover all the expenses of the trip, other than personal spending money. To me if you invite someone, they're your guest and shouldn't have to pay for anything. If a parent offers to pay some of the expesnes, I would accept, but not count on it.

I will say that if my child were invited on a trip like this I would offer to pay for airfare and certainly send spending money, but I would assume that you were covering my child's meals with the invite.

I would also check with the child's parents before leaving them alone in the condo while you and DH go out to dinner (if you decide to do that). Some people have issues with leaving their children alone in a strange place at that age.

JMO

 

[mill4023]

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking them to pay. We all have a budget (well, most of us) and if it's not in the budget, it's not in the budget. I don't think that means you should give up on the option of having DD's friend come along.
Just talk to the parents first and tell them you'd like to have her come along, but you can't cover all her expenses. Definitely talk to the parents before the kids. You don't want her to be invited, then find out she can't go because her parents can't or don't want to spend the money.

 

[sam_gordon]

Her parents would buy a ticket for the same flights we have.

Keep in mind you will be TWO traveling parties. If there's a schedule change of some sort, DD's friend might be scheduled onto a different flight.

 

[Marionnette]

We are taking a budget vacation during spring break. It will be me, DH and DD 13. We are staying in a condo on the beach. We are planning on enjoying the pool and the beach to keep in line with the budget. No expensive touristy stuff. I am considering letting DD13 bring a friend so she will not get too bored. HOWEVER, I would have to ask the friends parents to buy her plane ticket and pay for a couple of nice dinners out and suveniers etc... I have a budget and I am sticking to it. I have managed to get plane tickets, rent an SUV and rent a condo for 8 nights for only $1849!

IF I could afford it I would pay. That is the problem. We go to Gatlinburg every summer and DD has a friend go and we always pay for everything. I myself would not have a problem if someone asked me to pay for a plane ticket and food. Its a cheap trip to the beach 9 days if its only a plane ticket and food. It will cost her about $275 for the whole trip.

I understand that only having to spend $275 for a week of vacation is a bargain but there are a few things that you might want to consider.

First of all, this is YOUR vacation. You chose the dates, the location and the travel arrangements. Your child's friend and their family had no input on this.

Second, you are inviting this child to come as a companion to your child. You are doing this to make the trip more enjoyable for your child.

We have often invited other children to join our kids on vacation. We have never expected them to pay for anything other than souvenirs. We have paid for meals. plane tickets and amusements. We consider them to be our guests and that is how the invitation is extended.

 

[hinodis]

Yes, this is my vacation and did choose the itinerary. I just don't think it is such a "chore" for the friend that it would be rude to ask for her parents to pay. I don't pretend to be so wealthy that I can afford to take others on an all expense paid trip.

 

[jerseygirl81]

I believe even though you are bringing a friend along for your daughters sake you are also giving her friend a nice vacation that she and her parents should appreciate. You could probably ask another friend but you've chosen her, and the girl would have a week off of school and the parents may be trying to figure what she would be doing that week if they both work. My ds has a friend who's parents never go on vacation, he was invited on a trip with his friend to Myrtle Beach and was so excited when telling me about his trip, the boys parents were off since they both work in the school so they went to the movies and out to dinner themselves. My ds went on a trip with that family as well (the boy takes a friend with him every year) and the mother told me they would be going out to dinner every night and he would need money for that, so I gave him money for that. I would talk to the girls parents and see if they have any plans for their daughter that week and if they can afford the plane fare and some extra money for a couple of meals I don't think thats to much to ask. Linda

 

[Marionnette]

Yes, this is my vacation and did choose the itinerary. I just don't think it is such a "chore" for the friend that it would be rude to ask for her parents to pay. I don't pretend to be so wealthy that I can afford to take others on an all expense paid trip.

Maybe not a chore but let's face it. You are probably not inviting the child to accompany you because you like having the responsibility of looking after an additional kid while you are on vacation. You are anticipating that by having a companion your child's vacation will be more enjoyable. The parents did not approach you and ask you to include their child. You are not planning a joint vacation between families. Usually people who pay their own way have some input in the planning stage.

And another thing. I dont recall seeing any posts that said it would be "rude" to ask the child's parents to pay for the child's share of plane fare and meals. I see several posts that have been made by people who do not make that kind of request from the families of the children who vacation with them because they consider the child to be their guest.

Given your feelings that I'm reading from your most recent post I have to ask why you started this thread? Did you want people to offer advice on how to ask the parents to pay? Or did you want people to offer support by agreeing with you?

If you're not in the financial position to pay for the child's airfare and meals then you have two choices. Either don't ask the kid to go with you or find a way to ask the family to pony up for those expenses when you ask them if their child can go with you. But don't be hurt if they tell you that their answer is no. It's possible that they might want to spend that money on their own family vacation.