Need help from Stay-at-home Mom/Dads

[Beth76]

My son just turned 3 and I'm expecting #2 in July. He is driving me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY lately!!!!! All he wants to do is go outside and I just can't handle being outside with him all the time, esp. since it's starting to get hot. He goes to preschool 2 mornings a week, but that ends at the end of this month. I have no idea what to do with him on the other days that we're home and this summer when I KNOW that I won't want to be out in the heat. I don't want to keep in front of the TV the whole time, but I can't get him interested in anything else. Either he's watching TV or he's outside running around (and I"m chasing after him). Oh, and he's not napping anymore either , but he does go to bed at 7:30. So, on top of being pregnant and exhausted, my house is a mess because I literally do not have time to clean it. I don't even know what I'm going to do when I have two kids to take care of. I would actually contemplate going back to work, but there's no way we can afford infant care. So, what do you do with your toddlers to keep them busy INSIDE???? HELP!!!!!!

 

[meandtheguys]

play doh and lots of paper to cut up! Good luck, I've been there and it is so hard. That is when I found I had the ability to really upset with my guys! (No, I didn't hurt or emotionally scar anyone!) If you just need to talk pm me anytime. I wish I had had more support!

 

[powellrj]

Can you inlist the help of a neighborhood teen?? Thats what my SIL did, was pay the neighbor girl to play with her DD. She was always home so she was able to hire a young teen and it didn't cost her a fortune. Good Luck!!

 

[meandtheguys]

That is an awesome idea! You know, if you were going to be around, you could even "hire" a younger 10 or 11 yr old to keep him busy. Lots of younger girls want to babysit, but are not mature enough to on their own.

 

[4greatboys]

You take him outside in the am when its not to hot yet for a little while then have dh take him outside again when he gets home. Good Luck!

 

[Desnik]

It is hard, I know. When DD was that age I would take her to the park. We would go for walks with her in her stroller. I would take her to the library where they had story time for toddlers. I joined a mommy and me class. Also, at the library she would love to look at the books and we would borrow videos. I would also take her to Barns and Noble when they had their toddler story time. Sometimes they would have characters there. She met Maisy. We would go visit my mom. Go to the mall, they had a carosel there and train ride, she loved that. I felt like we were constantly on the go! I tried to do as much as I could in doors but, not home. I purposely waited till DD was almost 5yo to have another baby because I couldn't deal with a toddler and a belly LOL!!! I admire you!

 

[RitaZ.]

Have you seen those water toys that you hook up to a hose? Some look like fire hydrants, others are theme characters, etc. They are great and my kids loved them when they were that age. Put it in a place where there is shade and you can closely watch your DS, then jut get a comfy chair, sit down and relax with a cold drink. It should keep him occupied for a while and he'll be tired afterwards.

 

[momof2inPA]

I agree with going outside in the mornings and evenings. Does your son have a good friend that he plays well with? Sometimes my kids require less attention when there is another child over to play, but sometimes they require more attention. It depends on the playmate.

 

[Tinkerbelle739]

First of all, relax. You are not any different then any of us.

I would suggest the local library. They have plenty of kids activities and storytime. Not only is it an educational activity but it gives you an opportunity to meet other mothers and learn about other activities you can participate in.

I would not worry about ruining his summer because you are pregnant and cant go outside without exploding!
He is 3, he will have many years of summertime fun!

House is a mess. Get used to it. My house is clean, but it is almost always messy in some part of the house. That is just the way it has to be for 18 years! You will have many years after they leave the house to have a spotless house.

Call your county recreation center, they may also have summertime activities for younger children. Or, how about look into a 1/2 day (afternoons) program. It may cost a bit, but you could rest in the afternoon and he could get the outside time you are worried about.

I also think getting a sitter is a great idea. Maybe it would be cheaper to get a sitter 3, 4 or 5 days a week for a few hours than a daycare program.

Take a deep breath, you will get through it.

Wishing everyone a "magical" day!

 

[tw1nsmom]

Have your DH child proof the yard. Make sure it's fenced in. If it's too big, fence in the portion you want your child to play in. Put only outdoor toys that are the right size for him in his play area (little tykes stuff, kiddie pool/sprinkler, sand box...). If you can't afford a permanent fence, the four foot, plastic coated wire garden fencing works great and is cheap (it's what we use). Buy yourself a comfy chair, an umbrella, and a fan with an extension cord). Plan lot's of play dates so that you have someone to talk to and your DS has someone to play with.

The suggestion of hiring a younger babysitter/mother's helper is a good one. When the twins were little I had a friends daughter come over after school three days a week to play with/keep an eye on the twins. This gave me time to catch up on housework a little, prepare dinner, take a shower, take a nap, read a book...whatever. Because I was in the house and didn't expect her to feed or change them (she would come get me if they needed those things) she charged us very little. If I were you I would start putting out feelers for girls who would be interested in this kind of job during the summer and after school during the year. If you think you can't afford it, just remember that your happiness is important to your family and your more than worth whatever it costs.

 

[Beth76]

Thanks for the great suggestions and support! We do have lots of things we do away from home. I go to the Y several times a week to work out and he's in a few classes there too. The problem is when we're home, he only wants to be outside. We do have a fenced yard and swingset and that keeps him busy for about 15 minutes (long enough for me to make a small dent in the kitchen mess), then he either wants me to push him in the swing or take him out front to ride his bike.

I think the idea of a neighborhood girl might actually work in the summer. I never really thought about that because they're not really old enough to babysit. But, just to watch him while I got some stuff done is probably do-able.

It's probably not as bad as I think it is right now. Hopefully, it's just stress from my husband being out of town for a few days; I havne't had a break. He doesn't usually travel, so we're not used to it.

I had a spinning class tonight which I almost skipped b/c I was so exhausted. I ended up going and feel much better now. I guess it's true that exercise relieves stress. Thanks again, everyone!

 

[AmoDolphin]

You've gotten some good answers (especially about the mother's helper!) but here are a few more:

Find a friend, maybe from preschool, to share playdates with. My 4yo's favorite preschool friend is over at least one afternoon a week, and vice versa. Even when they're at my house, they're playing with each other and don't need 100% of my attention. We also go to the park pretty often and usually take a friend for her to play with.

And McDonald's Playland is a great place for kids to burn off some energy, and in air-conditioned comfort. Just get yourself a drink or a snack, and find another mom to chat with while your DS wears himself out!


Edit: Ooops! I keep forgetting to check to see who is logged in! This is Barb D, not my 10yo DD!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

More ideas!

I found that my kids at that age needed some one-on-one "special" time with me (or friends) and that would help ease things a bit, esp after a baby. Tends to help with the adjustment.

Make some plans, or "schedules" & develop a daily routine he can count on.

Join a mom's club or a playgroup. I did that and it really helped with getting me through the summer.

Most of all relax and enjoy! They really do grow up so fast.

 

[bentley483]

Go outside in the mornings and later in the afternoon when the sun isn't right overhead. In between check out the local library, they usually have programs with puppets, crafts or a special guest at least a couple of times a month. They don't last very long, but you could pick up some books for him to "read" while you do a little housework. The library also has music and videos that he can choose from to take home for special TV time.

You can also see if you can find some software for his age group (believe it or not!) and a special mouse and keyboard for sweet little hands.


I know it's hard to leave a mess sitting in your house. See if he will "help" you pick things up or dry the spoons. You may have to go over what he helps with, but you can get a little done that way and show him that chores have to be done first, then he can play. It is never too early to teach them this rule!

Another pair of hands and eyes would be great too! I'm sure some little girl or boy would love to practice being the babysitter by keeping an eye on him for a few minutes especially if they could earn a little pocket money.

Hope these suggestions give you some ideas. Good luck and congratulations on your new baby!

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Since your in StL I'll add a couple ideas that I know are available. My DD4 is going to Safety Town for 2 weeks (am only) which is a program put on by the Maryland Heights Police Department. Fun and educational. I like Tumble Drum (St. Charles) for running off some energy on a hot day. And check out your local church for a Vacation Bible School, also most likely an AM only program. My DH travels and it is hard to be home all day and night. Good for you that you went to class, the time away does help keep everything in prespective.

 

[onecoolmama]

I stay at home with my 1 and 3 year old and I am 5 months pregnant. I am worried about the summer with my 3 year old as well.

McDonald playland saved me during my first trimester. I just got people to go with us right after preschool and we talked while they played. I never get sick, but I am exhausted that first trimester and I have to wear them out so we all get naps!

The things I have donefor the summer, the first few weeks, i dunno. But my Y has a camp for 3yos that he is going to for two weeks. It is 9-12 every day. We are going to the beach with my mom for 1 week in July..so I have three weeks taken care of.

St Loius is a bit far to do this, but we have Sesame Place near us. I can handle my 1yo and my 3yo can do a lot on his own. And we ususally go with another friend or his dad, maybe you have soemthing liek that around you.

The mom's helper is a great idea. I might look into that too. I am very fortunate becuse my mom is a teacher and has summers off, so hopefully she can take my kids for me when I really need her too.

Good Luck with everything! I hope you have an easy delivery and remember, July is not that far away!

 

[onecoolmama]

one more thing...

As for the house being a mess. I am sure you want to get things in order for the baby to come home, however, here is what I did.

When I went in to deliver I had DH get a maid service to come in and clean the entire house before I got home! So I had things set up for the baby before i went in to the hospital. but i never had the time to clean. (I still don't!LOL) It was the best hospital gift I could have given myself..and best believe come October, I am going to have them clean again.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I feel your pain, I have a 3yo, 1yo and I'm pregnant. Plus I watch my 19mo niece a couple of days a week. I try to take them to the playground early in the day and let them run around a bit. They also just added a play area in my local mall for toddlers. It's great, I get to shop and they get to play.

As far as keeing the house clean, it's a neverending battle. I go back to work on Monday for 6 months until I start my next maternity leave, hopefully it will stay clean then. LOL


ditto what bentley said about the computer. DS loves his computer games and websites like noggin, pbskids, nickjr... When DD takes a nap I let him use the computer and that's when I get most of my cleaning done.

Good luck and congrats!

 

[KristiKelly]

My kids love to be outside, too. We had a sandbox with lots of buckets, shovels, sifter thingys, trucks, etc. DS & DD love to fight, but when they are playing in their sandbox everything goes pretty smooth & I didn't have to stand right over them. I would leave the kitchen/deck door open so I could hear them and empty my dishwasher, clean the kitchen, fix lunches, or just sit @ the kitchen table & look at a magazine or pay bills. If you have a sand sifter you could hide little treasures in the sand for him to sift out. Oh, and be sure to have a sandbox with a lid, cats love them, too Indoors, play doh is also great.

Do you have relatives around that might not mind watching him maybe 3 hours once a week? That would give you a short break & it would be free

One more thing, our movie theatre shows movies in the morning, during the summer. They are kids movies, last year I remember Spirit, the Wild Thornberry's, well, I forget the rest, but there were 8-10 weeks worth. Kids were $1 & chaperones were free - daycares would take kids as well, so it got pretty crowded. I would take juice boxes & candy in with me - for myself & 2 kids it would only cost $2. I don't know if they offer that everywhere, but worth looking into. If I think of anything else, I'll write back.