Need help decreasing Christmas budget

[ntburns22]

This year we are having the kids draw names too and setting a $25 limit. For us it is really not a money issue although it would be great to have extra in the Disney fund. Our kids have way to much stuff and with 3 sets of Aunts and Uncles (on DH's side on my side they are the only kids) spending about $50 on gifts apiece. There is not enough for even Santa to get them let alone grandparents and my sister. The kids get to shop for thier cousin and be a bigger part in the gift giving. We focus greatly on giving is better then recieving. If I make any sense?

 

[PaulaSue]

I second the themed baskets and make them for the whole family unit instead of just one person each.

Good Luck! Your original budget is much more (I spend less than 500 on everyone total and for over 30 people) than I spend on each person so it can be done. It does hard to get fresh ideas every year but I think of it as a challenge and I plan all year long.

 

[solgent]

I agree with everything people said

*spend what you can afford. Ignore what they spend or what you spent before or what you spent on someone else.

*rather than spend $X, try to get a gift worth $X for less than $X.


But I also want to ask

WHY are you spending $250-350 on your own daughter? She's 1 year old. We did not give gifts to our children when they were babies. Friends and family gave gifts, but as parents, we make sure our children have all the clothes they need, age-appropriate books and toys all year round. So there was nothing left to buy as a gift. If this is normal spending that you would be doing anyway and you're just setting aside to wrap and open on Christmas, that's one thing, but going out and getting gifts just for the purpose of getting gifts doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps you could buy her one special thing, but $300 seems unnecessary at that age.

Really, one of the most important lessons we can teach our children is to enjoy nature, books (from the library), simple pleasures, togetherness with friends and family and not look to an endless stream of new possessions for happiness.

 

[C.Ann]

You probably won't find my answer helpful but here goes- "Just cut back!"

Surely your family wouldn't want you to overextend. Set an amount that will work for you and stick to it. If anyone in either family is so shallow that they are upset then they will probably retaliate by cutting back on you next year. Which will be fine since you want to cut back anyway. What will most likely happen though is that others will be relieved.

I really don't understand the _"we can't cut back because they expect it" reasoning. People who live within their means spend what they can comfortably afford, not what others expect.

Set a budget that will work and then shop the sales.

-------------------------

I agree with this 100%... Anyone who thinks they deserve an "explanation" as to why I spent as little - or as much - as I have on their gift, is someone I would quickly eliminate from my gift-giving list pronto..

Just do what you can comfortably afford and be done with it..

 

[Mac and Us]

Here's our story: My DH has 4 siblings, I have 3. We "USED" to buy for everyone. However, over the years the siblings got married then had children. Our list grew to 32 family members and a few friends to buy for.

We 'could' still buy for everyone. But what that means is that everyone feels obligated to buy for us. I love christmas. I love the gatherings, the spirit, the food and everything about it EXCEPT all the gifts that I can't use. I know that sounds shallow. I do appreciate the gifts but if I can't use them then why waste money on them? I kept telling the brothers and sisters (who by the way have far less $ than us) to spend the $ they would use for us to buy gifts for their children. We told them that it would make us happier to see them enjoy the gifts. None of them listened.

About 6 years ago I had the week after Christmas off. I 'hoed' out each room of the house. My husband then 'stuffed' everything in my GMC Jimmy so that I could donate it to good will. When I say 'stuffed' I mean that every inch besides the drivers side was full. I'm glad I only had to drive a few miles or I probably would have gotten stopped. I had soap dispensers, christmas ornaments, bath towels, clothing, etc, etc. Most of it was brand new but I had no use for it. I told my husband that it had to stop.

I then sat down and wrote a letter to each member of the family. I told them that the following christmas we would only buy for the parents and neices and nephews under 18 ($25 each). We figured that after the age of 18 they would end up getting married, having children, etc. We told them they could follow suit or buy for everyone except us.

There were a few people who had a hard time with it but for the most part it was as if they were all relieved that we didn't have to worry about what to get so and so.

We now focus on the gathering. All of us make an honest effort to show up, enjoy some great food and quality time together. The best part is that we all have time to watch the little ones open their gifts.

 

[vanyel]

Love all the great suggestions, especially the gift baskets (I'm a big fan of doing those).

My DH & I have decided no gift this year because we went to wdw & bought a new digital camera before the trip. What we will exchange are stocking stuffers. We each have a $20 budget for stocking stuffers which means some creative thinking.

I'm doing stockings for my nieces (7 & 11). Most of the items are from Target's dollar section and others are little things I've picked up. They'll love it and my budget will love it.

My siblings & I don't buy for each other at all, not even in draw. We focus on the kids, our parents, and a special aunt.


My in-laws is a draw for the adults with a $25 limit then we buy for kids under 18 and for my mil.

I tend to blow my budget on my dds. Even though they're in their 20s, I can't seem to stop buying for them. This year the Silver Jewelry Club will be saving some of my budget though.

I use gift cards that I earned through mypoints for gifts and stocking stuffers. Freebies that I send for go into stockings, especially those shampoo & bath products.

There are so many ways to be creative. Do cut back your budget for your baby - save that for when she understands. I would explain to your family that you have to cut back and I'm sure they'll understand.

 

[jcsbama]

Thanks for all the great advice. I knew I could count on the disboards. I spoke with my sisters this morning and there is a new plan in place. There will not be a price limit. My mom, sisters, older nieces and I always go shopping on black Friday and find great deals. Our problem has been thinking we have to spend the same amount for each sibling, niece, etc. For instance, if I found something on sale one sister really liked for $10 (that retailed much higher), but I had to spend $40 in order to get what the other sister really wanted, I would get the first sister another item so that I spent the same. Well, we are no longer going to that. If I'm able to get the first sister something for $10, than that is just money saved. I usually end up getting each person more than one gift just because I'm trying to match how much I've spent. Eliminating the extra purchases will drastically cut my spending.

For those that think spending $200-$300 for my daughter is too much, I disagree. Santa always brought me and my husband great things growing up. We each had a certain place in the living room where Santa would display all the things he left for us. Christmas morning was always so magical. Most of the things I got for the year, especially big items were always received on Christmas. I spoke with Santa's elves this week and they were able to find me a Little Tykes Playhouse that is less than a year old for half the retail price off of ebay. This is the exact playhouse that DD absolutely loved at TRU a few months ago. We spent 45 minutes outside playing in that before I was finally able to convince her to go inside the store. Even then, she dramatically flopped down on the sidewalk and screamed because I was taking her away from it. The fact that I was able to find it for half price I thought was great. We're driving the next state over on Saturday to pick it up and then sending it to the north pole so Santa can deliver it on Christmas. The elves asked us if we could pick it up and ship it to them because it's too early in the year and not cold enough yet where we live for the reindeer to fly. Anybody else helping the elves this year?

Again, thanks for the great advice. I love the movie basket idea and will probably do that for the names we draw.

 

[horseshowmom]

We have decided to do gift baskets for everybody this year.

DD did a couple of bath baskets back in the summer, and the recipients were thrilled with them. As a previous poster mentioned, you can really make them look good. DD only spent about $25 total to make the two baskets, but they looked much nicer that that. A shredder helps (for the bedding), and an inexpensive one does fine. Mixed colored paper helps jazz it up some.

There are a couple of threads on here that had tremendous ideas. I printed them off to save.

 

[Chicago526]

Last year, after a several year break because we were all broke paying back student loans and starting new jobs out of college, my friends all wanted to start exchanging gifts again. While I wasn't broke by any means, I didn't want to spend a fortune on them, either (not that they aren't worth it, but everything has it limits!). I had four women to buy for! So I went to Kohls durring one of their super-duper-everything-in-the-store-is-on-sale sales and spent $15 on each friend! I bought all those cute girly-girl things we all want but never seem to buy for ourselves. I got each friend a pair of fuzzy slipers with various 'characters' on them that matched each girls pesonality, a pair of cute mittens, 2 pairs of novelity socks, and these cute little decorated paper clips they could use at work. I put each girl's gifts in to one larger box for each of them, and found really nice wraping paper and ribbin and went all out in getting them nicely wraped. They LOVED their gifts and actual used everything I gave them!

 

[ElizaB39]

Kohl's red tag clearance = $1!

 

[sb4k]

WOW that is a lot of money. I'll give you an example of mine. (For reference we don't have budget concerns but the idea is to give a gift not break the bank.)

Each child (there are 4 - 9,7,4,3) $100. Each parent $40. By the time the siblings pitch in and we get them one gift it does add up to a nice gift for each parent. $30 each sibling (in a good year.) $10 each niece and nephew. $30 each grandparent. $10 each teacher usually gift to Wal-Mart. We do have the added expense of my husband buying for the people in his dept. since he is the head. My sister and I have debated not doing Christmas and instead do birthdays so the money is spread out over the year. The $10 for each niece and nephew is totally reasonable with the internet. I usually get books or DVDs (I like deepdiscountdvd.com) I really think you might have to give up the cash thing. It's great that you have it saved and you just need to pay off the bill. Last year we bought fleece on sale and cut everyone a 9 inch strip of material and then cut fringe for each edge. Made a great scarf. Sales and clearance are great. Just because your siblings spend that amount doesn't mean you need to!

 

[Focusdude]

I used to go way overboard on Christmas too! Once the kids came along - that had to change. We insisted on the picking names thing with DH's family - and last year dropped it down from $50 to $25 - people complained - but I stood my ground and won. We all have kids now - and I really think we should drop gift giving between adults - but my DH's family goes crazy!! The name drawing thing is crazy anyway - you basically just tell someone where you want a $25 gift card from. I am going to try to get DH's family to drop it this year!

I have a small family - and we are thinking about just concentrating on the kids this year - with no bad feelings from anyone at all!

The first couple of years that our gifts got smaller - people raised some eyebrows (we used to spend about $100 per person!). But I think I have become coated with teflon since I had kids - I could care less what people think - it is more important that we stay on budget and provide my kids.

Hope this helps!

 

[minkydog]

$100.00 for each set of parents
$30.00 for each child
Sisters, brothers, and spouses - bake something for them. We stopped doing exchanges with sisters and brothers years ago. I would explain to siblings that unfortunately, finances don't allow you to continue to exchange Christmas gifts with them. If they don't accept it, that's pretty darn selfish on their part.

I agree. Except I would cut the children to $10-20, depending on age. We don't exchange big stuff, never have. I have 4 sibs and we all have our financial troubles. This year two of them have the added burdens of home repairs and Hurrican Katrina. It goes without saying that they don't need any more trinkets.

Personally, I would rather receive a boxful of cookies than a store bought gift--I don't have time to do it and I'm not good at it. I send a card to everyone I know with a handwritten note--I start them the last week of October(should be finished by the weekend!)

 

[doubletrouble_vb]

You probably don't want to hear but...stop the madness now. As your family expands Christmas shopping will start to be a serious drag. The other part is then whatever day you open gifts will look like its about the gifts rather than Christianity and family. Adults in my family for the most part exchange inexpensive gifts...really inexpensive for Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, cousins etc and more than likely kind of inexpensive between parents and children.

This year I believe I can cover the extended family for under $5 a piece, my siblings for about $20 each...Mom I haven't found anything for yet. Some years the sibs might get a gift for around $100...and in fact basis for their gifts retail at about $85 but were marked down to $17 for some reason.

I have to agree with the cookie person...I'd rather get tasty homemade goods that freeze well over a shirt or dress I won't wear.

I should have checked your location but I won't be surprised to find out its in the south somewhere...Black Friday shopping seems to be a championship sport down here. I never even heard the term before I moved here.

 

[GPALANGE]

But I didn't have time to read thru everything...I always try to give FAMILY gifts to my sisters and brothers-in-law's (4 sets) things like the Inside or Outside Smores Maker or this year I'm getting the Bissell Spot Remover (little hand held carpet cleaner). Of course it depends on your families ages, but its always cheaper to buy a family gift then individual gifts. I usually buy the kids their own gifts but it helps to just buy one gift for the husband and wife. Thats what I do anyway.

 

[donnabc]

I don't even have a large family and wow do you guys spend a lot!
For our son we spend about $200 max (my husband's kids we spend slightly over 1/2 of what we do for our son...their mom is responsible for the other half at her house).
My sister's kids I spend about $20 or equiv each (and I hit the sales so really is more like 10 - 15)
My sister and her hubby 25-30 each (and again I only do sales!)
My parents are another story...combined I generally spend about $200

My husband and I skimp on each other. When our son was little we skimped on him (he got a car seat for his 2nd Christmas...he loved it, he needed it, and it was not a waste of money!)

With a family as big as yours though I would PUSH for at LEAST drawing an adult's name! Maybe your sis would go for that...that would help alot!