Need help decreasing Christmas budget

[jcsbama]

I have a big family and we've always went all out for Christmas. We desperately need help cutting our budget. We can cut back on DH's family hopefully without much back lash. My family is a different story. For the past several years I have asked to draw names since there are so many of us and it is so expensive. My sisters refuse! I feel obligated to spend as much on them as they do on me. If I had the money, I wouldn't question how much I spend because I love to give, which is also part of the problem. I have never charged christmas gifts, it's cash only. Our money is really tight this year and we don't have a lot of extra for gift giving. How do I still give great gifts everyone will love without me having to broadcast that we had to cut back?
Here is my typical christmas budget.
My family:
parents - $100 each/Total $200
sister, BIL, 3 kids (G20, B18, B16) - $60 for sister, $50 for BIL, $40 per child/Total $230
sister, BIL, 2 kids (G13, G7) - same amount as above/Total $190
grandparents - Total $40
My family Total - $660

Because we have to spend so much on my immediate family, we usually increase the budget a little more on DH's family. I'm not sure of my exact logical thinking on this when that was decided in years past.
DH's family:
parents - $150 each/Total $300
parent spouse - Total $50
brother - Total $100
grandparents - Total $40
extended family party, draw names 3 gifts to buy $20 ea./Total $60
DH's family total - $550

Our child (G1) - Total $250 - $350+
me and DH - usually $0, no money left for us to exchange gifts
Total Christmas spending $1500+

To some that may not seem like a big number, to others it is. Any suggestions to help?

 

[sleepyone]

Maybe you could check out overstock.com and order through them. I know you wrote that you don't charge gifts but, you could immediately pay the credit card company what you spend online (I hope that made sense).

 

[OhMari]

parents - $100 each/Total $200$50 each-$100

sister, BIL, 3 kids (G20, B18, B16) - $60 for sister, $50 for BIL, $40 per child/Total $230
sister, BIL, 2 kids (G13, G7) - same amount as above/Total $190
grandparents - Total $40
My family Total - $660

Instead of going through the whole thing, I would cut for sure your parents to 1/2 and your husbands down to your parents $50 each.

Almost every store now has it's own gift cards. Otherwise look at local churches and schools, our school sells "Scrip", it is a program that allows you to buy gift cards from them, like a $50 gas card from Citgo, without you having to go to the gas station to buy it yourself. I know it looks better when you bring in a lot of presents, but to bad.

Sometimes it hurts to say you are cutting back on presents, but maybe some other people in your family and your husbands will be relieved that someone finally said it.

If you cut your budget by 1/2 and cut even more on some of your other people, you could have a budget of $500-$600 dollars which is still a lot of money.

 

[KarenAylwood]

Being a college student for the past few years (graduated and now am a graduate student so I get paid some but not a lot), I've had a hard time with this as well. I LOVE giving. I can't give enough. I love going out and buying things for people that really get them excited. I feel disappointed in myself if I don't think someone likes a gift as much as I was hoping.

I ALWAYS do a ton of xmas shopping on Black Friday. We spend Thanksgiving with the ads, I have an idea of what people want but also know what kind of things they like as well. There really are some good deals on BF if you're willing to work for it (and get up EARLY and deal with crowds, etc). I always get as many papers as possible in my area to get the $10 off coupon at Macy's that they've had the past few years and as long as you go to different registers, you can use as many as you have. We bought my BF last year a VERY nice suitcase- used the $10 off coupon, spent $11 total. Bought a dress shirt for my brother- Van Heusen brand for only $3, espirit slippers usually $30, got for $4. Got a care bear vhs set for my niece- $5. I do most of my shopping on black friday.

Also, as you've hopefully seen on this board- there are tons of great offers. Check out the "Free Silver Jewelry" thread- you can get a nice set of earrings and a necklace for only $15 ($6 each piece, $3 for a chain). Find out what people's birthstones are. You can find something for almost anyone on that site (www.silverjewelryclub.com, or find the schedule at www.silverschedule.com). Check the thread!

And the free popcorn- a lot of people sound excited about that too (I haven't put in an order yet). You could combine that with the "cheap gift ideas" on this forum as well and make a cheap gift basket. Try looking at discount stores like Big Lots- you can find a lot of great stuff there for cheap.

It's all about the presentation

Seriously, you can cut down on spending while still giving great gifts. Everyone thinks I spent a bundle but I really do keep my spending down as much as I can. If I see something somewhere for cheap that I think would make a great gift- I pick it up. I've already got half my shopping done already and will probably finish the other half on Black Friday.

And try not to put a price on everyone. Just because you spent $80 on dad but got something just as nice looking (or nicer) for mom, but only spent $40, don't try to make up the difference. Just make sure that everyone gets something nice that will make them happy and you're set.

Goodluck!!!

 

[maggiew]

Maybe you can buy a "family gift" for each family. Then it would like a bigger present but cost less overall?? Maybe you could get them a family membership to a nearby museum. That would be a gift that lasts all year!

You will probably get good ideas from here. I am not creative. We stopped buying gifts for sisters/brothers etc. because it got to be too much. I still buy for the neices and nephews though. The older ones I give $50 gift cards. The little ones I give a gift in the $20 - $30 range, although I usually spend a lot less by watching for sales (like Buy one get one free sales, etc.) For example, Toys r us recently had their play doh sets BOGOF, plus there was a rebate!

Maggie

 

[babytrees]

I think everyone gets stuck on the "I've got to spend the same amount on them as they did on me" train. It is so easy to get on it but oh so hard to get off.

I am capital C-H-E-A-P but my family thinks I am just a great shopper. I am betting on the drawn names you have that set amount, that's great!! Make shopping for the rest of the family a game....see what you can get them that is under $50 a piece......if you shop through the year(I know a little hard to do this year!!) it is easier but as a PP put shop on Black Friday....it's a great time.

This year was a bit odd because we had to buy family pictures(old ones are nearly 8 years old.....people have been begging for pic's of girls and us!!) so there was $200---more than I spend on all of the people I buy for at Christmas and that's only part of their present!!

We do arts & crafts for the grandparents...they all love these and are look forward to each year on Christmas. We only buy presents for the kids in the family....this year it's going to be McD's coupons as we all know our kids have enough/too much "stuff"....this way the whole family can enjoy a night out.

Our holiday spending, like you all cash no charge, is usually around $300 for everybody in our family. Good luck on downsizing Christmas

 

[imsayin]

I say, give what you're comfortable giving. Personally, I would cut each adult to a $30 gift and each child to a $20 gift. As an adult, I don't really need a big fancy gift and my kids already get too much junk for Christmas. You shouldn't have to explain yourself either, but if you feel the need, just let them know that it was becoming too much of a strain (financial & otherwise). We don't give presents to any adults since we have way too many siblings. This cuts my stress level at the holidays tremendously.

 

[horsegirl]

I feel for you and had this issue in my family. I kept approaching the subject each year and finally after the 3rd year everyone agreed. We now buy presents for all the children and each of us picks a name. So each couple buys two gifts. This has worked out really well, and we all end up getting little small sweet things for everyone. We pick our names at thanksgiving but have talked about doing it sooner, so we can shop longer. We spend $50 or so per gift. There is no $ amount on the kids. This has saved us tons, allowed us to focus on nice meals, and spending time with one another and not feeling so stressed. This won't help now, but I shopped TRU in september and got the most amazing deals. I only shopped sale items and free shipping and got my kids, nieces and nephews piles of gifts for cheap. I got the giant mega blocks castle for 39 with free shipping. This one normally retails for 80 or more plus shipping! I got so many 20, 30 and 40 dollar toys for 5, 10 and 15- it was just amazing. I kept everything in my basket and one by one they came onto free shipping. If I waited too long it went back up to full price and the free shipping came off. The outlet at TRU or the sales items are super. I got a LOrd of the rings trivial pursuit 45 for 20 with free shipping the other day when there was the coupon. Start shoppping early and you'll get great deals and only shop the sale items. Watch this board!!!!Last night dizfanatic put up an unbelievable 50% off coldwater creek! You can jewlery, clothes and accessories for that discount in their already discounted outlet. FInd the code and shop for the woemn in your family tonight! the 50% off sale ends tomorrow at midnight. Try to approach the subject with others one at a time, you might build consensus in the family one by one! Good luck. You should be able to slice that budget in half, at least!

 

[blessedby3]

We spend about $50 each on my parents and DH's mom. We give nieces and nephews a gift or gift card that totals $25. With all family on DH's side we do Dirty Santa. This is a great game and so much fun!! We only have to bring 2 gifts-one for me and one for DH, with a limit of $15 each- and everyone draws a number (we usually have about 20 people) and number one starts and picks a gift and unwraps it. #2 goes next and can pick #1's gift or another one from the pile. #3 then gets to pick from the first 2 or a new one from the pile, etc. This continues until you have gone through all the numbers. #1 gets to go again if his gift was never taken. This gives him the chance to choose like everyone else did. After a gift has switched 3 times it is "dead" and cannot be taken from you. This is why they call it dirty santa. We have so much fun seeing what everyone gets and seeing who is going to try and get what from who. Some people play it where you bring a gift that is like a gag gift, but since it is Christmas and the only gift you will get from the adults, we make them nice things. We have done this for about 6 years now and we all enjoy it. Before this we always traded names and bought ornaments for whoever's name we drew. I only have one sister and DH and I dont exchange with her and BIL. We decided this years ago because money is so tight and we really dont need anything. We also only get our own kids 3 gifts (as from the Nativity story-good enough for baby Jesus and good enough for our kids). Our children are very blessed and by the time they get stuff from grandparents and aunts/uncles and mom and dad they really have way too much. We try to keep it simple with everyone in the family- our kids included!!

 

[cseca]

As an adult, I don't really need a big fancy gift and my kids already get too much junk for Christmas. .

I agree with this statement. I've seen a lot of my friends who've adopted "No Gifts for adults" Christmas. Of course your definition of adult can be questioned hehe...

Or just give them thoughtful small gifts.
if the adult likes movies, maybe movie tickets. books, gift card for a bookstore, if they collect a certain character or item. Or if they've always wanted a certain recipe, make them something and attach the recipes. Or give them those made your own coupons for stuff you can make " This coupon entitles you to 2 dozen (blank) cookies." or "... a caserolle dish"... or whatever else you can make.
That way, it's a thoughtful gift from the heart and you don't have to spend $100 per person...

 

[Yardbird]

$100.00 for each set of parents
$30.00 for each child
Sisters, brothers, and spouses - bake something for them. We stopped doing exchanges with sisters and brothers years ago. I would explain to siblings that unfortunately, finances don't allow you to continue to exchange Christmas gifts with them. If they don't accept it, that's pretty darn selfish on their part.

 

[sk!mom]

You probably won't find my answer helpful but here goes- "Just cut back!"

Surely your family wouldn't want you to overextend. Set an amount that will work for you and stick to it. If anyone in either family is so shallow that they are upset then they will probably retaliate by cutting back on you next year. Which will be fine since you want to cut back anyway. What will most likely happen though is that others will be relieved.

I really don't understand the _"we can't cut back because they expect it" reasoning. People who live within their means spend what they can comfortably afford, not what others expect.

Set a budget that will work and then shop the sales.

 

[crazelion]

I have thought give gifts from the heart homemade gifts costs little or nothing. i know one Christmas i did not have money to buy mom a gift so i give her whole year of message done me for the year. Still claims that's best gift I give her.

She has been dropping hits that she won'ts that gift again.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

an easy place to start is by combining gifts - instead of one gift for sister and one for brother in law, give a "together gift." Like movies or mag subscriptions or gift certificates.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I just started a new thread (I'll copy the original post below)but maybe this will help you. Can you make a movie basket for someone's gift -- popcorn, a dvd, and movie candy?
__________________________________________________________
ok, we call it "movie candy" at our house. I know that's not the real name.

Tonight we were at Target. They have the boxes of candy (like you get at the movie theatre) for .48 each!!!!! Jr Mints, Raisinettes, etc .

Great for stocking stuffers. Great if you are making a movie basket for a gift -- you can get these and put them in.

 

[EthansMom]

Here's my redo of your budget. I think you could still get some nice gifts with the following budget. If you need to cut further, I would cut the amount you spend on your and DH's siblings -- maybe getting one $50 gift certificate for a local restaurant per couple, for instance. The teenagers would probably prefer money or gift cards.

Also, you and your DH should get something -- in the past, my DH and I have exchanged "token" gifts (paperback books, office supplies, etc..) and that has worked well. We also like to get "event" gifts to share with each other -- tickets to the theater or to a concert.

Your Family
parents - $50 each/Total $100
sister, BIL, 3 kids (G20, B18, B16) - $80 for SIL & BIL joint gift or $40 each, $25 gift card or gift per child/Total $155
sister, BIL, 2 kids (G13, G7) - same amount as above/Total $130
grandparents - Total $40
My family Total - $425

Because we have to spend so much on my immediate family, we usually increase the budget a little more on DH's family. I'm not sure of my exact logical thinking on this when that was decided in years past.
DH's family:
parents - $50 each/Total $100
parent spouse - Total $40
brother - Total $40
grandparents - Total $40
extended family party, draw names 3 gifts to buy $20 ea./Total $60
DH's family total - $290

Our child (G1) - Total $200 max
me and DH - $50 each/Total $100
Total Christmas spending $1005

 

[grlpwrd]

Wow - that's a lot of money you're spending!

I have a lot of family and friends and I do the usual... I usually give a family gift, a personalized homemade gift (like calendars or framed photos that we personalize), themed basket gifts (one year it was toiletries, this year it will be ice cream sundae gift baskets), or I give to the kids and not the adults. Or I shop throughout the year for gifts and store them.

Making just one or two changes in how you "do" Christmas might make a big difference.

I sure hope you're not going into debt buying those gifts.

 

[sophie81]

I'm curious...what are you putting in the ice cream sundae baskets?? This is a really dood idea!

 

[Disney845]

If you feel compelled to give them a specific monetary present value, then all you need to do is calculate the original cost as opposed to what you paid for it. Brothers and sisters and uncles and kids will not know how much you paid unless you offer the informations. For example:

(I look for good deals throughout the year and buy all year long, just putting pieces into a rubbermaid tub until the right holiday, birthday or x-mas comes along)

SO's mother and step father just had birthdays at the beginning of Oct. I got his mother a black opal earring and necklace set on CLRX for less than $15. (I had previously gave her a blush pearl necklace, bracelet, and earring set for mother's day for less than $35 on special. She tells me that I have given her some of the prettiest jewelry she owns! ) Both pieces would have normally retailed at considerably higher prices so I could estimate in my mind that her present was "originally worth" in the $100 range.

Her husband, SO's step father loves golf. At the recent end of summer CLRX that many stores are having I was able to get him 2 "Docker's Golf" brand shirts that are regularly $42 each for around $4. He thought I spent about $80 on his birthday and even accused us of spending too much on him, and told us we should save our money for ourselves!

The way I see it, if you spent more time frugally shopping, and less time worried that someone will know that you only paid $12.99 instead of $89.99 on that new blender you will be able to have a very doable x-ma budget. Good Luck!

 

[Stacy9402]

I have a huge list that I have to buy for -

My family -
Sister(32), BIL, niece(10), nephew (1) - spent $108 value -$230
I got my neice(only neice/nephew til this year - kinds spoiled her) an ipod shuffle off ebay and my sister $60 value at Bth&Body Works on sale & coupons for leass than $20
Brother(28), SIL , niece (1) Spent - $50 value - $105
(half)Sister(23), Fiance - Spent $5 value $50
(half)Brother(23) - Spent $3.50 value $40
Dad - Spent $3.50 value $40
Mom , her husband Spent $40 value $90
Ex-Step Mom which I call Mom(was for 15 years) Spent $0 value $25 (free giftcard)
Grandma - who raised me Spent - $25 value $50
My daughters 11 & 3 - Spent around $150 a piece value alot more
My husband
My friend Donna and her 2 boys
Then there is the kids in my family - Hanna (11), Chandler (6), Sammi (4), Adda (6 months), Cody (8), Lucas (1) Dalton (7), Kayla (5) and Addison (1)which buy for my kids so I have to get them something we try to get something not pricey I do really good at Target clearanance and spent max $20 on all of those and I got some nice stuff Little Tykes Handle Haulers , Legos , etc

I am done with my Christmas shopping except my husband, My friend Donna and her 2 boys and maybe a couple of things for my kids. Id on't shop for my husbands side I do help but I make him do it.

I would say shop year round on clearance.
You can get some really nice things that people would liek dont buy the cheesy stuff though just a waste of money.