Need grammar help for this sentence, please!

[ElizK]

I'm trying to write my final draft for an English essay. I was told that this sentence was awkwardly worded. Could you help me restate it, please, but still not have it end in a preposition? Here's the sentence:

Parents choose toys for their children that reflect their own biases, as well as their own ideas of with what each gender should play.

Thank you for your help!!

 

[Liberty Belle]

Quickly:

Parents choose toys for their children based on their own biases, including which toys they deem appropriate for each gender.

But I'm sure someone else will come up with something better (and I might later, if I give it more thought).

 

[Teresa Pitman]

Parents choose toys for their children that reflect their own biases, as well as their own ideas of with what each gender should play.


The difficulty in this sentence is that "their" usually refers to the preceding noun. So when you say "their biases" it sounds as though you are talking about the children's biases. That's not what you mean (I think). The "with what each gender should play" is not incorrect, but it's awkward.

So I think the sentence would read better as:

Parents choose toys for their children based on the parents' biases and ideas about the toys appropriate for each gender.

Teresa

 

[ElizK]

Quickly:

Parents choose toys for their children based on their own biases, including which toys they deem appropriate for each gender.

But I'm sure someone else will come up with something better (and I might later, if I give it more thought).

Parents choose toys for their children that reflect their own biases, as well as their own ideas of with what each gender should play.


The difficulty in this sentence is that "their" usually refers to the preceding noun. So when you say "their biases" it sounds as though you are talking about the children's biases. That's not what you mean (I think). The "with what each gender should play" is not incorrect, but it's awkward.

So I think the sentence would read better as:

Parents choose toys for their children based on the parents' biases and ideas about the toys appropriate for each gender.

Teresa

Ya'll are awesome! I can't thank you enough.

 

[terri01p]

 

[damo]

Parents choose childrens' toys based on personal biases and ideas of gender propriety.

 

[ElizK]

Got ya :

Parents buy whatever the heck they want and kids will play with them if they like it or not...hehe

I could probably get away with this! It's a final draft that is being turned in as part of a final portfolio with another essay. I doubt if she will give it more than a cursory glance.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Can't help with a grammar fix--but just wanted to comment that the sentence almost seems redundant...."biases"--wouldn't that be their ideas of what each gender should play? Or does biases refer to something separate?

It almost seems like you can shorten the sentence to make it stronger.

 

[walden]

Parents choose toys for their children based on the parents' biases and ideas about the toys appropriate for each gender.

Teresa

ITA with Teresa on grammar. Adding only one word for clarification along the lines of my conception of the meaning of the OP's of your first post.

"Parents choose toys for their children based on the parents' biases and preconceived ideas about the toys appropriate for each gender."

 

[LSmith]

ITA with Teresa on grammar. Adding only one word for clarification along the lines of my conception of the meaning of the OP's of your first post.

"Parents choose toys for their children based on the parents' biases and preconceived ideas about the toys appropriate for each gender."

Excellent. I would run with this quote but tweak it slightly. My two cents: "Often parents choose toys for their children based on their own biases and preconceived notions appropriate for each gender."

 

[paintnolish]

Can't help with a grammar fix--but just wanted to comment that the sentence almost seems redundant...."biases"--wouldn't that be their ideas of what each gender should play? Or does biases refer to something separate?

It almost seems like you can shorten the sentence to make it stronger.

That was my first thought.

 

[Evi]

I'm trying to write my final draft for an English essay. I was told that this sentence was awkwardly worded. Could you help me restate it, please, but still not have it end in a preposition? Here's the sentence:

Parents choose toys for their children that reflect their own biases, as well as their own ideas of with what each gender should play.

Thank you for your help!!

Parents choose specific toys for their children based on their own biases and beliefs of what is gender appropriate.

I'm sure there is one word out there that can put biased and belief together maybe not oh well its late

 

[Took]

Parents' own gender biases influence what toys they purchase children.

 

[jazzielady]

I'm trying to write my final draft for an English essay. I was told that this sentence was awkwardly worded. Could you help me restate it, please, but still not have it end in a preposition? Here's the sentence:

Parents choose toys for their children that reflect their own biases, as well as their own ideas of with what each gender should play.

Thank you for your help!!

Gender bias, as well as other preconceived notions of appropriate toys, often play roles in which toys parents purchase for their children.

 

[shortbun]

Can't help with a grammar fix--but just wanted to comment that the sentence almost seems redundant...."biases"--wouldn't that be their ideas of what each gender should play? Or does biases refer to something separate?

It almost seems like you can shorten the sentence to make it stronger.

I agree with this.

 

[DebbieB]

I think the "play" at the end is ackward. "play with" would make more sense.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Got ya :

Parents buy whatever the heck they want and kids will play with them if they like it or not...hehe

my opinion....parents spend a fortune on too much crap & the kids play with the boxes

 

[tasha99]

I think the "play" at the end is ackward. "play with" would make more sense.

I agree.

 

[LindaG4458]

"Play with" leaves a dangling preposition. "With which to play" is more grammmatically correct.

 

[tasha99]

"Play with" leaves a dangling preposition. "With which to play" is more grammmatically correct.

Only in pedantic English. The rule about ending sentences with prepositions is archaic at best. Half of the time the offending preposition is actually a verb particle, but even in a case like this where it's a real preposition, it sounds stilted and awkward to move it away from the end of the sentence.