need financial budget encouragement

[njcarita]

after years of being debt free except for house........now I am faced with a huge credit card debt........

i became ill earlier this year...doctors had no idea what was going on after many specialists...er visits and stuff they finally got it figrued out.....all this craziness activated my latent anxiety and panic attacks where I became almost totally agorophobic.......so i quit my job.....since I was self employeed employee no undemployment.....medical leave etc......

my husband is self employed adn thankfully business has been good......we pay over 1100/month for health insurance..........but still have big copays ded etc.......

i am starting to feel better and actually have some good days......so I want to look for any part time job close to home that I can drive myself to without freaking ........
I have 3 kids one has one more year before college..........

I know I have spend alot on ordering in cause there were days I was so dizzy I was holding on to walls just to walk.........so I know if i just meal planned....went food shopping when i felt up to it and pre planned crockpot meals that in it self would save us a lots of money I can put toward credit card bills........

i just sat down a pd all our bills ( pd double minimum on credit card balances and they are at O% fro a while)........that leaves me with about 600 for food and other expenses this month......

I just need ideas ....suggestions.... etc.........right now I am feeling overwhelmed ..but I know step by step I will get us out of this hole..........my husband is sooooooooooo not financial....its all up to me....he works his but off everyday...... hands me check and its pretty much "good luck" from there........so HELP

 

[ccgirl]

after years of being debt free except for house........now I am faced with a huge credit card debt........

i became ill earlier this year...doctors had no idea what was going on after many specialists...er visits and stuff they finally got it figrued out.....all this craziness activated my latent anxiety and panic attacks where I became almost totally agorophobic.......so i quit my job.....since I was self employeed employee no undemployment.....medical leave etc......

my husband is self employed adn thankfully business has been good......we pay over 1100/month for health insurance..........but still have big copays ded etc.......

i am starting to feel better and actually have some good days......so I want to look for any part time job close to home that I can drive myself to without freaking ........
I have 3 kids one has one more year before college..........

I know I have spend alot on ordering in cause there were days I was so dizzy I was holding on to walls just to walk.........so I know if i just meal planned....went food shopping when i felt up to it and pre planned crockpot meals that in it self would save us a lots of money I can put toward credit card bills........

i just sat down a pd all our bills ( pd double minimum on credit card balances and they are at O% fro a while)........that leaves me with about 600 for food and other expenses this month......

I just need ideas ....suggestions.... etc.........right now I am feeling overwhelmed ..but I know step by step I will get us out of this hole..........my husband is sooooooooooo not financial....its all up to me....he works his but off everyday...... hands me check and its pretty much "good luck" from there........so HELP

Good luck. I just want to add that I don't know how old your other children are but the 17 year old is certainly old enough to help out; even if it is cooking meals. Heck, even my DD9 can cook breakfast. Talk to your children. Come up with a chart for the family so they can all help you out and you don't feel so overwhelmed.

Good luck. One day at a time. I hope your health improves.

 

[sk!mom]

Can your older child help out with grocery shopping? Either going for you or even just going with you. I keep the house stocked with sandwich makings and easy things- pasta, fresh fruit, veggies. I also always make extra at meals and freeze single servings for times when I can't cook. Chicken pot pie, chicken enchiladas, chili, and various soups are always in the freezer. If you could do that on good days then the pressure would be off on not so good ones.

Good luck in finding a job and rebuilding.

 

[njcarita]

Good luck. I just want to add that I don't know how old your other children are but the 17 year old is certainly old enough to help out; even if it is cooking meals. Heck, even my DD9 can cook breakfast. Talk to your children. Come up with a chart for the family so they can all help you out and you don't feel so overwhelmed.

Good luck. One day at a time. I hope your health improves.

oh they are extremely helpful kids.......the do their own laundry........clean.....throw out garbage etc etc etc,........they make their own breakfast.............and there were many times they have fended for themselves............i guess the big problem is getting the food here and having it all ready for them to cook...........many a night its been make yourself nachos...or chicken nuggets or sandwiches................but now that I am having better days I nee to have a system..........my oldest is 16 and is working 3 days a week in summer too saving for car and college.....I cant complain about him...........and even the younger girls are good at all the above stuff too.............my husband is home today with a horrible migraine and hes been doing dishes and stuff............ I just feel the "mommy guilt"..........i usto work and do it all....now I am just taking it day by day....

 

[lovemygoofy]

oh they are extremely helpful kids.......the do their own laundry........clean.....throw out garbage etc etc etc,........they make their own breakfast.............and there were many times they have fended for themselves............i guess the big problem is getting the food here and having it all ready for them to cook...........many a night its been make yourself nachos...or chicken nuggets or sandwiches................but now that I am having better days I nee to have a system..........my oldest is 16 and is working 3 days a week in summer too saving for car and college.....I cant complain about him...........and even the younger girls are good at all the above stuff too.............my husband is home today with a horrible migraine and hes been doing dishes and stuff............ I just feel the "mommy guilt"..........i usto work and do it all....now I am just taking it day by day....

Okay so start small to let the family adjust again.

Who does the grocery shopping? You can have groceries delievered depending on where you live though it isn't cheap.

Start with making 3 meals a week. Make them easy meals like breakfast(think pancakes and fruit or eggs and bacon), homemade pizza and a bag salad, or a pasta and sald.

Know what your limitations are for yourself and your family. If you can't whip up a 4 course meal then don't attempt it. Make the meal you know you can make without hurting yourself.

Make a meal calendar and include the recipe so the kids can start it or help you out if need be. Ask for their input on what they would like and how they can help with the meals.

I would start with basics like pasta, breakfast items, chicken breasts and whole chickens, pork chops or loins and bags of steam veggies and fresh fruit.

I think women put alot of guilt on themselves when not making a big beautiful meal but a meal can be tuna melts with cut up veggies. No shame in that sort of dinner either.

 

[bearzabout]

Check the produce department for marked down produce. I froze pounds of apricots, peaches and nectarines that I bought for .59.lb. They make great fruit smoothies for breakfast.

Instead of ice cream and novelties, grind up fresh or frozen fruit with a bit of juice and ice. I throw in some spinach for vitamens and to add creaminess, use plain Dannon yogurt that I buy in large tubs for about $2.

Using coupons can be a really fun hobby and save big bucks. I go dumpster diving or drive around the nearby countryside looking for papers no one picked up by Monday in my search for coupons.

The stores around me have been having some great loss leader sales and I always take advantage of them. I stock up when items are cheap (or free if I have coupons).

It is easy to become overwhelmed by all of lifes complications. I found a quick, easy and reliable cure for panic attacks. If you feel one coming on, grab any item near you, stare at it and in your head start describing every little detail about it for a few minutes. Focusing on a certain item distracts your brain and allows the physical symptoms to lessen. Do this a few times and you will learn that you can be in control of your panic episodes.

It always helps to take stock in just how lucky you are to have a family, a successful husband, a roof over your head and to be able to be self-sufficient during tough times.

I just bought a huge ham for .98/pound and look for great new recipes online. Get the kids involved with finding simple recipes.

Do you have an Aldi grocery store nearby? They have good quality food at amazing everyday prices.

 

[crisi]

With social anxiety and keeping food in the house, I'd look for "meals from cans and jars" for a bit. Bean chili is cheap and the ingrediants are shelf stable, spaghetti, tuna sala, soups.....not every day, but keep those sorts of ingrediants around to turn to when take out or going out starts looking too attractive. Refrigerator goods that keep, like cheese slices for grilled cheese. Sausage tends to keep pretty well.

If you have a freezer, on good days make two...two meatloafs, two casseroles.

 

[bettymae1121]

My go-to dinner is "meat/starch/veggie". A simply prepared "meat" can be anything. A steak, pork chop, fish fillet, chicken breast or thigh, any of which can be marinated with salad dressing then either baked or grilled. Then a easy startch like baked pototao, or diced potatos seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic, and olive oil then pan fried or baked. Rice works well too of course, or just a box of mac and cheese even. Then a steamed veggie (fresh or frozen). It's easy to make just enough for one or two, or make extras for left overs. Generally it takes me less than 30 minutes to make the whole thing, and it's easy to change things up so you never really have the exact same meal twice. It's also easy enough for your kids to help or even cook the whole meal. By the time I was in high school I made dinner several nights a week (that way I could pick what we had for dinner!).

 

[yoopermom]

I have some "lightweight" versions of the same things, so I understand where you're coming from.

A real trigger for me is walking into a huge (ie cheaper) grocery store ala Super Walmart, etc, and feeling just overwhelmed.

I'm lucky to have an Aldis on my way to work, and what I do is break it down, so it feels more reasonable "today I'm just going in for fruit/veg/dairy, next week I'll get canned goods and bagged snacks" etc.

I grew up with a certain meal each night of the week and, while it wasn't "exciting" it sure didn't kill any of us. So when times are tough for me, I revert to Monday=spaghetti, Tuesday=tacos, etc, etc. That way when I'm shopping say for my canned goods, I know that I'll need four jars of spaghetti sauce to get me through the next month of Mondays.

Bagged salad before, piece of fruit for desert, and you're done!

During really bad times, I use my Amazon Prime free shipping, and have nonperishables sent directly to my house, that way I'm only stopping for fruit/veg/dairy. Amazon's prices are often not too much higher than the local stores, and the convenience can't be beat.

Baby steps....

Terri

 

[LocaRoja]

Try Peapod. They deliver groceries to your house!

 

[pumpkinmomma]

If getting to the store is an issue, look into ordering pantry staples from Amazon. Also, see what your local grocery chains offer. Ours has online shopping, you place the order online and pick it up at the store at your chosen time. The fee is like $5, so its very affordable.

If crowds are a problem, go to the store on weekday mornings. Much less crowded.

 

[njcarita]

just want to thank u for all the replies........will read thru them all again and make sure i look at all the ideas...............i do have food orders delivered and have used amazon for food staples thru year................last year at this time I was perfectly fine ......food shopping everyday cause I loved coupon shopping and I worked almost every day.................my problem is there are days that I am absolutely fine and than there are days I can barely make thru the day............its not my anxiety and panic anymore that thankfully have gotten somewhat under control..somewhat .still struggle...i went food shopping at shoprite yesterday no problem tomorrow who knows................its the exhausting fatigue......dizzy spells ....etc... that really make planning hard......................but I luv the pantry idea..........and i also have a local farm only 2 miles away ...so i go there for a lot of my produce ................ i really think if i get the food budget under control I can use the savings toward my credit card bills....................we are a lg family 3 kids...and 2 dogs.........and a 16 year old son who is a bottomless pit...................and yes I know I am very blessed to have a roof over my head.......access to my meds..........etc etc etc......this morning I was thanking God for running water...electricity etc.................

 

[njcarita]

If getting to the store is an issue, look into ordering pantry staples from Amazon. Also, see what your local grocery chains offer. Ours has online shopping, you place the order online and pick it up at the store at your chosen time. The fee is like $5, so its very affordable.

If crowds are a problem, go to the store on weekday mornings. Much less crowded.

my store charges a 19.95 shopping free and free delivery

 

[Zhoen]

Hi there,

First of all, ***GOOD ON YOU*** for reaching out! Just coming onto the boards and chatting can be so good for someone with social anxieties (talking from experience.) You get some social time without all the pressure of having people in your space.

I wanted to suggest that since you're already familiar with the grocery delivery places, and have older children (it sounds like one can drive?) that you combine the two.. You can make a very detailed, specific list using the online shopping sites, then print that and send the teens to fetch the items in person, which will save you the delivery charge (while also helping them with life-skills.)

On the days when you're feeling well enough, try to take them with you, so you can teach them what you know about shopping smart-- that way when you need them to do the shopping, you can hope they won't just be throwing "whatever" into the cart.

You might even consider putting the teens in charge of the meals, period. You could give them a blank calendar to plan their menu, talk them through the process of using the sale papers to create a menu everyone likes within the budget you have set for them, etc. I know you want to feel like you can do this yourself, but look at it this way, with the 16 year old going to college soon, he needs this chance to learn to take care of himself, and taking the girls with him will help him learn to do this as a team, which he will need in the future when he has a family of his own. The girls get a little more of head start, but it's good for them, I promise...

I know they might be a little resistant at first, but keep at it. It's not just for you, it's for them. It's tragic how many 18 year olds these days think that making packaged mac n cheese equals "doing their share/looking after themselves." <My stepdaughter, 20, is in that crowd. I've been trying to teach her and my nieces and nephew this stuff for years, no luck, so I understand how hard it can be... but my own little girls help me cook dinner every night and come along on every major shopping trip. I was able to plan a menu, make a list, shop from that list (Dad drove and paid, of course) and cook from what I'd bought well before the age I could drive, and I hope to give my daughters that same ability.

But just in case... it's good to have shelf of fall-back foods. Honestly, I *DESPISE* Hamburger helper... but I have about a dozen of the darned things in my house. Those are the "emergency" foods, they last about forever and are so easy to prepare that my husband can handle it if I'm absent or incapacitated for any reason. Next week I'm travelling for work, and that's what he'll be cooking for the days I'm gone.

I bought them when they were on super-good sale and just keep them on the top shelf of the pantry... if we need them, they're there, if we don't need them, they're still there I've found the ones by Macaroni Grill are actually reasonably good, while the ones that have the canned meat included in the package are the most "emergency friendly", but taste VERY processed.

If you're lucky, the kids will hate the processed boxed meals, and will be willing to cook "real food" to avoid the boxes !

Good luck, keep at it. You can do this.

 

[LJSquishy]

It is great that you are reaching out for suggestions and tips. I can't imagine what you must feel like at times, I bet it is really tough, especially having kids at home.

On your good days, make sure you get out to the store to restock your pantry & pick up fresh produce & meat. Since you don't know what the next day will bring, if you can keep up on groceries, the bad days you have will be a little easier on you.

I am a housewife so I make most meals from scratch, but there are a few things I try to always keep on hand (We don't have kids, so I don't need a lot anyway). I always have 2 boxes of macaroni & cheese (I like Annie's Organic White Cheddar), sometimes 1 box of Hamburger Helper (I love the Cheesy Enchilada one...and we put it on flour tortillas), a few cans of Campbell's Healthy Request soups (usually Zesty Tomato, and Italian Wedding), and I always make sure I have a jar of spaghetti sauce and a jar of pizza sauce in case I don't feel like making my own. I always keep flour tortillas on hand because they are fairly versatile and keep well in the pantry cabinet.

On a good day, try to buy 10lbs of boneless skinless chicken breast and divide them into freezer ziplocks in 1lb quantities and freeze. They will be easy to take out of the freezer and cook any way you want. If you are feeling really motivated, you can even cook up a bunch of them and shred them before freezing. I have used shredded chicken for lots of dishes: chicken tacos, on salads, in soups, chicken alfredo, bbq chicken sandwiches, chicken quesadillas etc. It's so nice when it's already cooked!

Definitely make extra food to freeze anytime you make homemade soup, chili, etc. I also like to make chicken pot pies and freeze an extra one or two.

We have salad with grilled chicken as a main dish once per week which makes for a super quick meal. If you have your cooked chicken (shredded, diced, or in strips) in the freezer already, there is no cooking involved.

Also, don't forget: Breakfast for dinner! It doesn't get much quicker than that! That reminds me, I love having homemade pancakes on hand in the freezer. They freeze so well (waffles, too) and you can just pop out a couple and microwave them for 1 minute. When I freeze waffles, I pop them in the toaster when I want to eat one.

Every few months, I will make tortilla pizzas. Using the flour tortillas, jar of pizza sauce, cheese, pepperoni or canadian bacon and olives. Just bake in the oven for 10min or so. Each person can assemble their own.

Your kids can definitely help you get some of these staples in the freezer so your family can eat healthy and with less effort.

Since you have so much debt right now, you will need to make any eating out off limits. You just can't afford it. If you make that clear to your family, it will save you a lot of money. If you want to set aside one day of eating out per paycheck, that would be fine. If you can write out a rough menu idea for each week, it will help you and don't worry if you only want to write out 7 different meals...you can repeat them each week if you want, or use slight variations.

 

[njcarita]

Hi there,

First of all, ***GOOD ON YOU*** for reaching out! Just coming onto the boards and chatting can be so good for someone with social anxieties (talking from experience.) You get some social time without all the pressure of having people in your space.

I wanted to suggest that since you're already familiar with the grocery delivery places, and have older children (it sounds like one can drive?) that you combine the two.. You can make a very detailed, specific list using the online shopping sites, then print that and send the teens to fetch the items in person, which will save you the delivery charge (while also helping them with life-skills.)

On the days when you're feeling well enough, try to take them with you, so you can teach them what you know about shopping smart-- that way when you need them to do the shopping, you can hope they won't just be throwing "whatever" into the cart.

You might even consider putting the teens in charge of the meals, period. You could give them a blank calendar to plan their menu, talk them through the process of using the sale papers to create a menu everyone likes within the budget you have set for them, etc. I know you want to feel like you can do this yourself, but look at it this way, with the 16 year old going to college soon, he needs this chance to learn to take care of himself, and taking the girls with him will help him learn to do this as a team, which he will need in the future when he has a family of his own. The girls get a little more of head start, but it's good for them, I promise...

I know they might be a little resistant at first, but keep at it. It's not just for you, it's for them. It's tragic how many 18 year olds these days think that making packaged mac n cheese equals "doing their share/looking after themselves." <My stepdaughter, 20, is in that crowd. I've been trying to teach her and my nieces and nephew this stuff for years, no luck, so I understand how hard it can be... but my own little girls help me cook dinner every night and come along on every major shopping trip. I was able to plan a menu, make a list, shop from that list (Dad drove and paid, of course) and cook from what I'd bought well before the age I could drive, and I hope to give my daughters that same ability.

But just in case... it's good to have shelf of fall-back foods. Honestly, I *DESPISE* Hamburger helper... but I have about a dozen of the darned things in my house. Those are the "emergency" foods, they last about forever and are so easy to prepare that my husband can handle it if I'm absent or incapacitated for any reason. Next week I'm travelling for work, and that's what he'll be cooking for the days I'm gone.

I bought them when they were on super-good sale and just keep them on the top shelf of the pantry... if we need them, they're there, if we don't need them, they're still there I've found the ones by Macaroni Grill are actually reasonably good, while the ones that have the canned meat included in the package are the most "emergency friendly", but taste VERY processed.

If you're lucky, the kids will hate the processed boxed meals, and will be willing to cook "real food" to avoid the boxes !

Good luck, keep at it. You can do this.

oldest still has permits.....so he cant go out alone...............today I got out twice to store and to farm solo........so i have enought planned out for about 3-4 dinners and luches.............its not the anxiety that much anymore.that i can deal with and can breathe thru etc just the other day I drove 30 minutes in one direction to get my kids from playdate ....biggie for me ...its dealing with my illness............and accepting there will be days that I feel like crap............and than add the fact that I am going thru peri and not allowed homones due to heart stuff.....its the perfect storm of feeling like "death' sometimes........................but everyone has a cross to bear and this one is mine....................Im looking thru amazon now...and seeing what is less expensive to have delivered............and thanks for all the support and replies............and i dont have "social anxiety" i am quite social...luv groups and people....life of the party type..was in 3 buncos and 4 potluck groups up to last year.............my big issue was panic attacks brought on by hormonal dips and illness..........i agree the kids need to learn to cook more.......and not just "nuke" stuff............thanks for all the support.....................step by step i will get better.........and step by step I will get us out of this debt

 

[njcarita]

wow so far found some great stuff at amazon with the susbribe and save...........flour tortillas pretty cheap...about a $1 a package........and cereal kids like about 3 box for BIG boxes.....................

 

[twojay]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. If you have a crock pot (slow cooker), that'd be a good way to get the kiddo to start cooking. Most recipes just involve dumping everything in and letting it cook.

 

[coffeecassie]

Good luck to you! The crockpot and food.com are 2 of my best friends! There are lots of recipes that call for frozen chicken breast, and they cook in about 5 hours. If you are shopping with Amazon lots, I recommend using Swagbucks. It is easy to get enough points there to get a $5 gift card or 2 a month.

 

[bearzabout]

This may sound silly, but have you tried taking a good B Complex vitamen when feeling down? They are rather cheap when you buy them in bulk. They work as a great mood enhancer and give me energy when I take them. Give it a try for a while.