Need advice, strange half sibling situation.

[Jaimee]

I hope I don't sound like a stalker lol. I have one child DS 10. His father is not involved in his life at all. I mean from birth-10 yrs he's seen him about 6-7 times and never for more than 15 minutes. One exception was he did come to one of DS's baskeball games last year, but that obviously wasn't "quality" time.

Anyhow, his father has another older child, who the father also has no contact with as far as I know. I met her a few times when we were dating years ago. She was 3 or 4 and wouldn't obviously remember me. I know her name and the city she lives in (about 2 hrs away). I was thinking about her the other day for some reason and Googled her. There was a big article that came up from her local paper about her sports acheivements, along with a picture. WOW! She looks just like DS lol. Her Facebook page also came up.

My question...she's a senior in high school. I don't know her mother at all. I showed DS the article (he's always known about her), and he said it would be cool to meet her someday. Would you try to contact her through Facebook? I'm on the fence, I'm trying to remember myself at 17-18 that is actually when I found out I had 2 half siblings, and I was fine with that, and have grown really close to them. Would that be stalker-ish? Should I wait another year until she's done with HS and try then? I was thinking of having DS create a Facebook page and he can send her a message, but I'm worried about how she'll react. I really don't think she knows about DS, but I'm not sure. My mom thinks I should contact her now, what are your thoughts?

 

[freckles and boo]

I think you should try to find her mother or wait until she is an adult.

 

[Serena]

I would back off. I would not be forcing this issue at all. If they do meet someday, fine, but i wouldn't be doing anything to make it happen.

 

[lillygator]

no - I would leave it alone.

 

[Jaimee]

Thanks for the advice. I did try to look for the mom, but she has a really common name and I can't locate her. I guess I got a little caught up in actually finding her lol. I think I will leave it alone. I worry about DS's feelings too, if she doesn't want to communicate with him it would be a huge let down. If he wants to try to contact her at some point in his life when he's older, that will be his decision.

Thanks

 

[AprilShowers]

I disagree with other posters. I think they should meet. However, not without the other mother's permission. I found out about an older half brother when I was in high school. It was a wonderful thing, and we became fast friends.

He even married one of my best friends from college. They live far away, and we don't see each other much anymore. But I'm still glad that he's my brother.

If I were you, I'd contact the other mother. Maybe your ex could help you with her info? See where it goes from there. There's nothing more important than your family.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would talk to the mom first. Getting off on the right foot is important.

 

[diznygirl]

I agree with the other posters that you should have the blessings of her mother first.

Maybe you can contact the daughter through Facebook and tell her you are an old friend of her mother's? Ask her to have her mother email you.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

If you arent able to get in contact with her mother first I would definately leave it alone.