Need advice on work issue

[pumpkinfish]

I have missed time from work off and on since I was diagnosed with RA (rheumatoid arthritis). So far in 2009 I have missed lots of work and even took FMLA leave. My boss is awesome and never questions me. He knows I'll do what I can when I get back to work after being out.
Today a good coworker approached me about my time when away. She explained how our boss is more strict with his tone with her and another worker when they are sick (she is pregnant and another has back issues). She said the boss really holds them accountable and uses stern tones, ect. She questioned if I was held to the same treatment. I told her we have an understanding and I give him my game plan on how I'll catch up, ect.

So now I feel weird! Everyone knows my situation but I don't feel comfortable if I'm being treated different. He has never used any stern tone...although I did have issues with the old boss like that. So is this favoritism? What should I say if others come up to me?

 

[clanmcculloch]

I think there's a difference between somebody with a health issue that qualifies under FMLA (it's an ADA issues) and somebody who just takes a lot of sick time.

Personally, I feel it was inappropriate of your co-worker to ask you about it. I think a simple answer of something to the effect of "The boss and I have worked out how my sick time is to be handled in a mutually agreeable manner that fits the corporate policy." is sufficient. If anybody asks for more info then make it clear that it took a while to get to the point you're at now and you don't want to risk anything changing by discussing it with others. Don't get drawn into other people's drama. You're doing nothing wrong. If you DO say something more than this then you may get drawn in and your boss may become more difficult with you.

 

[Hannathy]

Of course to your co workers it is favoritism, whether it legally is or not doesn't help them feel like it is anything but. Your boss is probably afraid of doing anything wrong with all the legal guidelines now that you've qualified under family leave so he is walking on eggshells.

As far as what to say I can't tell you but I can guess as to how the others feel about the situation and as long as you don't get the stern notes and the hard time about missing work (right or not) they will continue to feel this way.

 

[pumpkinfish]

Thanks for the thoughts...I was just taken back as I thought everyone was ok with my situation. I guess it hurts my feelings a little as well.

I'll just keep things on the down-low and take the pp advice on what to say. I certainly don't want to hurt the relationship I have with my boss (or my boss' boss with whom I also have a good/understanding relationship).

 

[Libbyt]

It sounds to me like your co-workers don't really understand the difference between an illness that is debilitating to the point that you are afforded protection under ADA and just simply "not feeling well" or being out with a cold or a migraine or sick child or whatever. Sorry I don't really have any tips for educating them without risking damage to the tenuous relationship you already have with them! I guess some people go through life NOT ever having to know the real difference between those two situations, some of us get to know the nitty gritty of it! Hugs to you!

 

[Schmeck]

Having had to miss a lot of work when I was pregnant, and also having had to miss work because of a back issue, I'm a bit offended by the attitude here that those are not good enough reasons to also get respect from a supervisor. They are valid for FMLA. FMLA is not always linked with ADA, by the way.

My advice - if your co-workers mention this again, tell them to bring it up with human resources, if the company is big enough to have that department. If not, have them talk to the supervisor's boss, if there is one. If there isn't, then they might want to get an attorney.

 

[clanmcculloch]

Having had to miss a lot of work when I was pregnant, and also having had to miss work because of a back issue, I'm a bit offended by the attitude here that those are not good enough reasons to also get respect from a supervisor. They are valid for FMLA. FMLA is not always linked with ADA, by the way.

My advice - if your co-workers mention this again, tell them to bring it up with human resources, if the company is big enough to have that department. If not, have them talk to the supervisor's boss, if there is one. If there isn't, then they might want to get an attorney.

If my post offended then I am truely sorry. That was not my intention. If anybody is needing to miss work for reasons that qualify under FMLA then they should absolutely pursue that avenue. In the case of the OP, if any of these people do qualify under FMLA then I'm sure if they apply then their work environment will almost certainly become more comfortable for them as it has for the OP. If any of these people were coming to her for advice about how to apply then I would tell her to direct them to HR and maybe explain the steps that she herself had to take to get to where she is. The thing is, it doesn't sound like this is what's going on. I do think her bosses' response to sick leave (which is perfectly legal to take) is hostile but she can't afford to get in the middle of it and I still think their approach to her is inappropriate.