Need advice on the drama

[sbell111]

I think that it's pretty normal to be upset if your sibling chooses to go on a month-long vacation rather than taking a day or to to come to your wedding.

We actually pushed our honeymoon back a week to allow us to attend my wife's cousin's wedding halfway across the country.

 

[kirstenb1]

I'm having a hard time envisioning a month long vacation!!

Trying to get past that wonderful, yet unfathomable concept....I'll be in the minority. Can you take a couple of days out of it to show up to the wedding?

It sounds like it's important to her you be there (even if you don't like her much, or her choice of fiance.)

If it were only a week vacation, I'd still be a little torn, but a month?

 

[Nancyg56]

Ok, so let me make sure I understand the question -

1) Disappoint your half sister whom you haven't seen in 8 years, don't have a close relationship with, calls you self centered, a snot, doesn't want anything to do with you, is marrying someone you think is not a good person, and won't appreciate the sacrifice you would make to be there....

OR​

2) Disappoint your immediate family who are people who love you unconditionally and want you in their life, are supportive of you no matter what, want to enjoy a trip of a lifetime with you and make you happy.

Remind me again - what was the question?

This

It sounds like you are not close to her, that you really do not like her and yoou really do not want to be there. I don't think that the lack of visits should mean anything, she was a kid so making sure that you were close was not her respponsibility.

I also do not think that your relationship with your Dad should enter into this or how you feel about the boyfriend. It really is how you feel about sis and whether you want to attend her wedding. If you feel so strongly that you prefer not to attend it is okay, it just means that you need to make sure that to understand that seh would be upset. As it is your right to choose to vaation, and I am not passing judgement on that, it is her right to be disappointed.


If I really did nto like my sister and had no real interest in fostering that relationship i would jus tcontinue with my plans and not feel guilty.

 

[KathyTX]

I don't see this as an either-or scenario. Unless your cruise overlaps the wedding itself you could take 3 days out of your 1-month vacay and go to her wedding. Yes, that would mean that you would have to pay for a flight from FL to NC, car rental for the weekend and a hotel room. But you would have had to do that if they were married in April or June, wouldn't you?

Your sister's wedding is not just right around the corner ... it's is 8 months from now. You have plenty of time to make it work if you want to. If you don't want to, then be prepared for the fall out from your father's side of the family.

Exactly!!! There's no need to cancel a one-month vacation to attend a one day wedding. Why couldn't you attend both?

 

[holycow]

I think you are being selfish. A month long vacation and you can't stop by for a wedding????

Let's see your sis is 22 that means while she was a teen growing up you really didn't have any contact with her. Right??? Who is the adult here. If you wanted her in your life IMO it was up to you to keep in contact. I don't think stopping by for a day for a wedding is really that big of a deal to interrupt your month long vacation. I don't blame her for being pissed. She obviously wants you in her life. She extended an invite.

 

[lil mermaid]

I guess I'm going to be the voice of dissension here. I don't see this as an either-or scenario. Unless your cruise overlaps the wedding itself you could take 3 days out of your 1-month vacay and go to her wedding. Yes, that would mean that you would have to pay for a flight from FL to NC, car rental for the weekend and a hotel room. But you would have had to do that if they were married in April or June, wouldn't you?

Your sister's wedding is not just right around the corner ... it's is 8 months from now. You have plenty of time to make it work if you want to. If you don't want to, then be prepared for the fall out from your father's side of the family.

I agree with this post. She obviously wants you there. I don't blame her for being upset (although, I don't agree with her name calling drama.)

It sounds as if she grew up in a very dysfunctional situation and is entering another one. She could probably really use some support.

 

[wvjules]

This

Go on vacation!! marriages dont always last... but great memories with Mickey do!!

has me shaking my head. Really?

 

[palmtreegirl]

I would find a way to attend the wedding.

 

[Mermaid02]

Send her a nice check and lovely card..... it will appease her.

 

[mickey7879]

Our vacation is from Feb 14th (?) to about March 16th. Her wedding is the end of May. It's not going to be overlappying. We are spending 1 week at the beach, 1 week Disney, 1 week Disney cruise and a few days around Universal. The other days are travel days.

If it wasn't for my mother in law, there is no way we'd be able to afford this vacation. We have a timeshare, so that's how we are spending a week at the beach and a week off-site Disney. Plus, mil has already given us one park ticket and we already have a ticket to Universal. She's also paying for other hotels and gas. So, we have to pay for food and souvenirs really.

This trip has been booked since May and just last week my sister announced her wedding date.

I saw my sister for the first time when I was 9 and every year til I was 15 for about 1 week a year in the summer. We've NEVER been close. My father was in the militia and pretty much ran to NC to hide.....whatever truth there is to that, I don't know, but they did live in a tent in NC for a long time. They homeschooled her so the government wouldn't know where he was. He would make us microwave our money because the government had bugged it and was listening to us. Weird, yes! Truthful, yes! Well, not that they bugged it, but my dad would make us do that. If we talked on the phone, to him, we could never mention where he was, etc. So, he's got her brainwashed too. They are always right and everyone else is wrong.

I'm not affraid of the fallout from my fathers side of the family since they all live here and can't stand him and aren't attending either.....even my grandparents aren't going and I believe my other sister isn't either....all because of dad and they really don't have the money.

Sorry if I missed people questions or replies.

Gonna enjoy my vacation.

 

[IhavePDD]

Go and enjoy your vacation. Send a nice gift, that is probably all she really wants anyhow.

 

[Shmily1]

I'd keep the vacation... you can always watch the video.

 

[Mermaid02]

Our vacation is from Feb 14th (?) to about March 16th. Her wedding is the end of May. It's not going to be overlappying. We are spending 1 week at the beach, 1 week Disney, 1 week Disney cruise and a few days around Universal. The other days are travel days.

If it wasn't for my mother in law, there is no way we'd be able to afford this vacation. We have a timeshare, so that's how we are spending a week at the beach and a week off-site Disney. Plus, mil has already given us one park ticket and we already have a ticket to Universal. She's also paying for other hotels and gas. So, we have to pay for food and souvenirs really.

This trip has been booked since May and just last week my sister announced her wedding date.

I saw my sister for the first time when I was 9 and every year til I was 15 for about 1 week a year in the summer. We've NEVER been close. My father was in the militia and pretty much ran to NC to hide.....whatever truth there is to that, I don't know, but they did live in a tent in NC for a long time. They homeschooled her so the government wouldn't know where he was. He would make us microwave our money because the government had bugged it and was listening to us. Weird, yes! Truthful, yes! Well, not that they bugged it, but my dad would make us do that. If we talked on the phone, to him, we could never mention where he was, etc. So, he's got her brainwashed too. They are always right and everyone else is wrong.

I'm not affraid of the fallout from my fathers side of the family since they all live here and can't stand him and aren't attending either.....even my grandparents aren't going and I believe my other sister isn't either....all because of dad and they really don't have the money.

Sorry if I missed people questions or replies.

Gonna enjoy my vacation.

Sounds like a whole lot of crazy there and now there is NO WAY I would go. Those aren't the type of people I would want to be around, relatives or not.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Vaccation!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My tolerance for family drama crap is zero, so this is a no brainer to me. She is basically a stranger.

My guess is that you are going to never have a relationship with her and frankly it sounds like you don't want one. So let it go...

 

[wvjules]

I'm confused. I thought you couldn't attend the wedding because it conflicted with your month long vacation. However, you update states that the wedding is 2 months after your vacation. What's the conflict?

 

[hentob]

I live in ME and my half sister lives in NC. I saw her this past summer, but before that it had been like 8 or so years. She's 22. Was planning on getting married this past May, but decided to hold off til May 2011. We rarely talk.

Huge drama unraveled and me getting accused of being selfish, a snot and self-centered because we're going on vacation instead of going to her only wedding.

From what I understand, this guy is a loser....no job, no house, has a child that he has to pay child support to (that my sister pays since he has no job) and he can't see his child and they have had fights where she ends up trying to choke him.

Go to WDW with out an ounce of guilt. Your half-sister seems like somebody I would just smile at and keep moving

 

[kirstenb1]

I'm confused. I thought you couldn't attend the wedding because it conflicted with your month long vacation. However, you update states that the wedding is 2 months after your vacation. What's the conflict?

Yeah, me too. Sounds like from the OP's update she has no intention of going to the wedding, no matter when or where it is.

 

[hentob]

I'm confused. I thought you couldn't attend the wedding because it conflicted with your month long vacation. However, you update states that the wedding is 2 months after your vacation. What's the conflict?

I am assuming the money it would take to travel to NC form ME Plus, she would have to take more time off from work.

I wouldn't even need an excuse to skip this wedding

 

[sbell111]

I am assuming the money it would take to travel to NC form ME Plus, she would have to take more time off from work.

I wouldn't even need an excuse to skip this wedding

Of course, she's not your sister.