Need advice from Little League parents

[Luv Bunnies]

My 10 year old son is having an issue on his Little League team. We're not sure if we should intervene as parents, encourage him to address it himself or just let it go.

He's playing in AA which is for 8-10 year olds and has a new coach this year. The season started out OK. The coach seemed to be rotating the batting order and field positions. For the past 5 or 6 games, my son has been last in the batting order. And since we have too many players, one or two kids sit out from fielding each inning. My son has been on the bench at lesat one inning of every game lately. Some of the other kids are never benched. The most frustrating thing for him is when he's the last batter and benched for the first inning, he doesn't even step on the field for 30-45 minutes after the game starts. It seems to me that if a kid is going to bat last, you would at least put him on the field in the first inning to give him some playing time.

In our league, AA is supposed to be a teaching level. It's not supposed to be competitive. They don't even record scores. It shouldn't matter if your best batters are up first or last. The kids should get a chance to play equally. My son thinks the coach doesn't like him or doesn't think he's a good player. His confidence and his motivation are both shot.

Should I mention it to the coach or let my son deal with it? Or, should I drop it since there are only 3 games left in the season? There is a questionnaire for parents to fill out at the end of the season. I could also save my comments for that. Any advice?

 

[reagan75]

My husband is a coach and he is very fair and aware of batting order, kids sitting out, etc. I would definately say something in a nice way. You can use the teaching aspect as your crutch. Maybe add "is there something you can suggest we work on at home?"

 

[RMulieri]

I agree with PP. I would definitely say something...but nicely.You don't want to put the coach on the defensive.

 

[wrighter]

I feel your pain. My son plays in a league for 6 and 7 year olds, and we've been surprised by the number of coaches who don't follow the "everyone gets a chance to play all the positions" mantra.

We only play three innings - and we bat through the order each inning. Outs do count, though. Since there are only three innings, kids play at three different positions each game. However, some coaches like to put their "ringers" in key positions for multiple innings - like the same two kids at pitcher and first base - thereby giving those kids more practice and making sure more outs are made against our team.

I totally understand that in sports, there comes a time when these kids do need to learn the sad truth about pecking orders. But come on - for first graders?

Since our coaches are great about giving everyone their fair shake, there's really nothing we can do about it. But it stinks. And it's just the glimpse of what is to come in the years ahead. Bummer. Just wanted you to know that you're certainly not alone in your plight. Good luck!

 

[mjkacmom]

Hmm, maybe talk to the coach? We only have 1 league, and it's competitive (which means ds11 sits out half of each game - some kids only play 1 inning). How are the other teams run? Or you could just leave feedback on the questionaire, since it's almost over. I hate to say it, but maybe your ds isn't a very strong player - if so, he'll be doing bench sitting next year anyway.

 

[tanyaandallie]

I'd talk to the coach. It's very possible that the coach really doesn't realize that your little guy is getting no action at all for the first 30 minutes.

 

[JTDisney]

Talk to the coach. Don't approach this in a negative way or with an attitude. It sounds like you wouldn't do that anyway. I coach and I sit my son probably more than the other kids. I never want kids to feel the way your son feels. It takes the fun out of everything.

Also ask the coach what your son can do at home to improve his game. It is very important that parents play at home with their kids. It will make them better and will be fun for you. He WILL get better and you will all see improvement especially the coach. With this comes more confidence and will be a valuable life lesson learned. Hardwork will payoff and the coach will see that your son is serious and excited about playing and more time on the field will follow. Good luck.

 

[brymolmom]

Is there any online documentation you can check for the league guidelines? I mean - when you say that it isn't supposed to be competitive at this level - how do you know that? Is it written, just word of mouth??

If that is the case and it isn't competitive - I would say something. However, by that age, it often begins to be more competitive. My nephew is 11 and it is his first year playing organized baseball. He has some skills but does NOT have the knowledge to be a good player yet. I have explained to his mom (who knows nothing about baseball) that it is not surprising that he is batting last in the lineup and that he likely will be for the season (unless he significantly improves). I guess I just wouldn't be surprised at that age if a child with less skill plays less than others - especially if you say he's only sitting one inning a game - that's still a lot of time in the field.

Good luck!

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

We had a similar situation with our son this year and Dh talked to the coach after the second game I think it was. He told him that he understood that with that many players someone had to sit the bench sometimes and asked why Ds wasn't rotated in more. I don't think the coach was aware how much Ds was sitting out because he kind of argued with DH telling him that DS had played more than he had so I would definitely speak to the coach, it may just be a case of him not realizing that it's always the same kid on the bench.

Also you may want to find out how he determines his batting order. Ds played on a team last year where they simply wrote you down in the order as you arrived, so the last one there would be the last to bat.

 

[bunny]

Welcome to Little League. My son has played for 6 years and unfortunately this is how most teams are run and it will get more competitive very quickly. The second year he played (about your son's age) they had a rule that each child only had to be put in for 2 innings a game. He only played 2 innings every game the whole season and almost always the last 2 and he was at the bottom of the lineup. His team made it to the playoffs and in the playoffs they don't have that rule, so he didn't even get to play at all. I was pretty upset since he had never missed a practice or a game. Fast forward to today he pitched in tonight's game. He is doing great. It took many years of hard practice.

I had to bite my tongue many times and I know how hard it can be as a mom to see your son get discouraged. I think the biggest thing that made a difference for my son wasn't even the practice but my husband became an active asistant coach. On every team he has been on the coach's kids receive preferential treatment. So if you really want your son to play, have your husband volunteer next year.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Thanks for all the great advice! I can always count on this board for objective viewpoints of other parents.

I know that my son is not, shall we say, the most skilled player on the team. He bats about as well as anyone in AA but his fielding is not quite up to par. My husband has been working with him on throwing and catching and he's improved but is still not up to the level of most of the 10 year olds in the league. My son freely admits that he's not a great player. In past years, he had really top-notch coaches who wanted to see everyone succeed. We always requested the same coach and were put with the same group of kids for the past few years. This year, however, most of his friends and the coach moved up to minors. My son wasn't ready and chose not to try out for minors. So, he's spending his 3rd year in AA. We figured this would be the make-or-break year for him. Either he would improve a lot and be ready to try out for minors or he would have to quit baseball next year. In our league, you can play in AA until you're 10. My son will be 11 in September. If he doesn't make minors, he can't play in the league.

He's already decided that he doesn't want to try out for minors next spring. We've heard from other parents that they really step it up at that level and my son said it doesn't sound fun. He always plays soccer in the fall and wants to try spring soccer next year instead of baseball. He's also discovered his talent for musical theater and will be in the school play again next spring.

I'm glad I posted to get a perspective from other parents. I think I'll let it go since we only have 3 more games. I will mention on the survey that they should re-evaluate batting order, etc. to make it fair for everyone.

 

[pyrxtc]

I understand you dilemma, having two boys in baseball myself. I am surprised at how long innings last for your games though. In our league (at my boys ages) everyone is on the field every time, and I mean all at once for 15 boys.

I would talk to the coach ASAP. Ask him why your DS sits out the begining of every game instead of mixing it up. And just because they are not technically taking and keeping score... someone is and someone is counting wether they lose or win. I understand your son feels like he is not part of the team. Explain that to the coach, or have your DS talk wiht him too. What about the kid that bats in front of him ? Is he sitting on the bench too ? If he is not the only one sitting out, then there has to be other kids that are sitting on the bench with him for the same amount of time, one inning. you can't change players out in the middle of an inning, so he would not be on the field or bat for that whole inning. I don't think one inning is that long to have to wait to play.

For my youngest DS's team, batting order is the roster down one week and up the next week. They all get to bat at his age, DS 5.

 

[MickeyMouse'sBFF]

One "talk" to the coach will most likely do it. We had the same problem, and all I asked was his opinion about my sons hitting. All the sudden...BOOM. My boy was up there a LOT more. He tried him at all different spots durring the games. It was as simple as bringing his attention on to my son .

 

[muppetmom]

I have so been there with you and spent many sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do. Together my kids have played (or tryed to play) 7 different sports. One is playing in college!
We have had some phenomenal(sp?) coaches and some really really really terrible coaches and DH as a coach. My advice is to talk to or email the coach. He may not have any idea that your son is upset. He may even have a good reason as to why he is doing this. A good coach will then have a talk with your son and explain his reasoning or what he needs to do better. A bad coach won't.
You need to talk to your son about coaches and adults in general. I think the hardest thing for my kids when we ran into this problem (and we did with all 3 kids at one time or another) was to understand that not all adults do the "right" thing. Some coaches want to win at all cost.
Now, in the coachs' defense.....is it possible that he is playing the kids who plan on trying out for the minors more so that they will have more practice when they hit the tryout? Did your son share with him that he didn't plan on playing next year? He may very well be trying to get the kids who want to play next year ready for tryouts.
My DS19 had this very same thing happen to him at about the same time. We had a bad coach. The result was my son gave up baseball and spent more time on soccer. He now plays soccer in college. Just keep telling him how much you love him!

 

[Goofy_Dad_24]

Here is my opinion from a coach's point of view. I coach a local high school team in the area, and volunteer a lot of time over the summer to work with all the boys that play in our community league, ages 5-16. I came from a baseball family, with two uncles that played in the majors and I played at a division 1 college. My son, who turns 3 exactly one week from today, is probably a better hitter than 95% of the boys in the 5-6 year old league.

What does this mean? All athletes are not created equal. As a coach I know this, and I will NOT pay more/less attention to someone based on their skill level. HOWEVER, what I will do is pay more attention to the boys that WANT to be there, WANT to learn the proper techniques, and WANT to learn more about the game. I have had many kids who are only there because their parents signed them up, or because their parents want to drop the kid off for a couple of hours, or whatever. These are the kids that are in the outfield casting "Harry Potter" spells during the games. Frankly, it is dangerous to play the kids in the field.

I am not suggesting in any way that your kid is like this. What I am suggesting is that you make it known to the coach that YOU have an active interest in helping your son learn the game, and your son is there because he wants to have fun and learn more about baseball. There is nothing better than when a parent asks me what they can be doing to help their kid. That lets me know that the kid is coming from a caring family, and is there because he wants to be there. Actually, the only thing that is better than that would be the kid asking me that himself.

To add one cautionary tale to expand on my point. I have a friend, who is unable to have children because he got hit in the wrong spot with a batted ball while he was 15 YEARS OLD! The worst part is, that he was actually one of the best players on the team, the ball took a bad hop, and he wasn't wearing a protective cup. Yes, this is very unusual, but the coaches do need to look out for, and try to protect against this.