need advice for h/s freshman

[WINTER]

how do you get them to want to get good grades and not just get by?

 

[luvtogo12]

I would love to know as well. Please share if you find an answer.
Good luck to you---you are not alone.

 

[Pam]

I can't give you any advice - but if you can pull up college websites and show them the cost of tuition for a year faint: !!) and then click on the button that shows academic scholarship amounts for good GPAs and SAT scores, that might motivate them!

Some kids just don't like school and the learning process and nothing you say or do will change their attitude.

 

[golfgal]

I wish I knew??????? There are a lot of us out here in the same situation.

 

[christineann]

Colleges are having open houses now, and they have campus tours and information sessions daily. Pick a college close by, and take your child to the session so he/she can hear from the college rep what they are looking for.

My daughter went to her first one when she was in 8th grade - because we were visiting colleges for her brother. She says she is glad she knew then that the colleges can be choosy and that they look for certain attributes when they review applications and transcripts.

 

[disneygirlatheart]

You are not alone. If anyone has the answer please share!!!

 

[two-plus-twins]

My daughter has always been a straight A student, Principal's Honor Roll, Gifted Program. But somthing has happened this year, her freshmen year, she had three C's at the end of second qtr. She is very stressed out. I don't know if it's because everything has always been easy for her and she just got it and now that things are harder maybe she doesn't really know how to study?

 

[LadyZolt]

Freshman year isn't usually too bad because it's the first year of high school (unless you live in an area where 9th grade isn't the first year of high school) and the child is starting a new school, new experience. But after that, it can be hard because I think they start getting "burned out" on school. What I did with mine is give them financial incentive -- X amount per "A", a lower amount for a "B", even lower for a "C" and not a thing if they got a D or an F. Just like a job, you get paid if you do the job right. LOL!

If actual cash isn't your thing, other incentives linked to grades also can work -- like permission to get driver license, or being allowed to borrow the car, or if they have a car, paying their car insurance, or linking their social life (dates, dances, proms) to their grades. The thing is to make their grades have consequences so that they learn that now and aren't shocked when they one day are supporting themselves and their boss really puts requirements on them. And if they don't get the grades, they suffer the consequences, including summer school (one DS had that fun experience -- LOL!) or even not graduating with their friends. It's better to learn this lesson in high school and master it early, IMO.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[dixipixi]

My son is in 8th grade this year and we have been struggling with this issue for a couple of years now. The weird thing is, he gets good grades overall but has one (sometimes two) classes that he gets terrible grades in.

Example: Last year he had all A's and B's except for American History (D). We struggled with that all year. This year he has straight A's in Louisiana History, but is having a tough time with math.

Last year when we finally had acceptible grades in ALL of his classes, he comes home with a D in PE!!! His answer was that he "just didn't feel like participating that 6 weeks".?!?!? It's like he sabotages himself.

Well, this year he has started guitar playing (is taking lessons, and making new friends with the same interests). In one 6 weeks, he has pulled his math grade up from a D to an A. I told him that if he can't keep his grades up, then he loses his music priviledges. I really would hate to take that away from him, but the threat seems to be working.

He also doesn't get to touch the guitar until school work is finished, so that motivates him to get things done.

 

[Grizabella]

My daughter is a junior, and she wishes she'd listened to me, her guidance counselor and her teachers back when she was a freshman.

Sometimes its just a matter of maturity.

 

[coolshannie]

Tell him/her that it is all about the future! What do you want to be when you get older? Don't you want to go to a good school? Don't you want the best life you can get? Try so hard to point out that if you just get by now you cant make up for it later and getting into good schools is just getting harder and harder and once that chance for good grades is gone, its gone. I strive for every grade I get, and so far my sleepless nights have paid off! Through countless hours of home work for honors and Ap classes, Marching band, Symphonic band, and the occasional extracurricular activity I get through it and know that all of this hard work is going to pay off! I want to stand up their at graduation and be validictorian of my class! I want to give a speech in front of my peers and tell them how proud I am that I have accomplished my goals so far, how proud I am of my parents that supported me every step of the way. And you know what, If i don't make it to Validictorian I know I will graduate with high honors, and I will know that I set my goals high for myself and I tried as hard as I could to get there! Its all about aspiring for what you want most in life! You have to tell them that if they shoot low now life is going to pass by and they are just going to miss out on having great achievements.

 

[BrooklynnsMommy]

You probably can't make them. Just explain that even though college seems far away that freshman year is really important. If they mess up then, it could mean the difference between scholarship money they won't have to pay back or a loan that they will have to pay back. Good luck!

 

[golfgal]

Tell him/her that it is all about the future! What do you want to be when you get older? Don't you want to go to a good school? Don't you want the best life you can get? Try so hard to point out that if you just get by now you cant make up for it later and getting into good schools is just getting harder and harder and once that chance for good grades is gone, its gone. I strive for every grade I get, and so far my sleepless nights have paid off! Through countless hours of home work for honors and Ap classes, Marching band, Symphonic band, and the occasional extracurricular activity I get through it and know that all of this hard work is going to pay off! I want to stand up their at graduation and be validictorian of my class! I want to give a speech in front of my peers and tell them how proud I am that I have accomplished my goals so far, how proud I am of my parents that supported me every step of the way. And you know what, If i don't make it to Validictorian I know I will graduate with high honors, and I will know that I set my goals high for myself and I tried as hard as I could to get there! Its all about aspiring for what you want most in life! You have to tell them that if they shoot low now life is going to pass by and they are just going to miss out on having great achievements.

My son knows all of this but the "future" is too far away for it really to sink in for him. I think like Grizbella said, it really comes down to maturity.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

how do you get them to want to get good grades and not just get by?

You start it earlier than high school maybe?

 

[golfgal]

You start it earlier than high school maybe?

No offense but that is kind of rude. Most likely they have been dealing with this for longer then just 9th grade. I know we have. Our hopes were that once he got to high school he would realize the importance for himself and not just because we kept telling him that school was important. Some kids just don't get it, our oldest would be one of those. In most of these cases it is the KID not the PARENT that is the issue. Our other two are straight A, honor students and DH and I are both college educated honor students. We KNOW the importance of a good education but our son just doesn't get it and nothing we have done has sunk in yet.

 

[Christine]

No offense but that is kind of rude. Most likely they have been dealing with this for longer then just 9th grade. I know we have. Our hopes were that once he got to high school he would realize the importance for himself and not just because we kept telling him that school was important. Some kids just don't get it, our oldest would be one of those. In most of these cases it is the KID not the PARENT that is the issue. Our other two are straight A, honor students and DH and I are both college educated honor students. We KNOW the importance of a good education but our son just doesn't get it and nothing we have done has sunk in yet.

Same issues here and I started a thread on this yesterday.

My DD isn't particularly motivated and it has gotten worse. Her brother, on the other hand, cares so much about his grades and how well he is doing. A lot of it is personality and, as a parent, I found it totally confounding!

 

[Sherri]

My son stepped it up for his Freshman year in September, he made honor roll and we were so proud of him. This marking period that just ended he told me he has a C in english. I am so frustrated because that was his strong subject, he has a wonderful teacher. I feel like I need to be a bit strickter with his time and how he spends it.
I hate it when I know he CAN do it, but chooses not to. It is such a sore subject around our house these days.
I feel for everyone who has posted.

 

[golfgal]

My son stepped it up for his Freshman year in September, he made honor roll and we were so proud of him. This marking period that just ended he told me he has a C in english. I am so frustrated because that was his strong subject, he has a wonderful teacher. I feel like I need to be a bit strickter with his time and how he spends it.
I hate it when I know he CAN do it, but chooses not to. It is such a sore subject around our house these days.
I feel for everyone who has posted.

Is my son living at your house????? Science class, fist trimester 110%, second trimester, C- and counting at mid-term?????? We thought he finally got it this year after having a good first trimester but he is not back to his same old lazy ways.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Can only speak for myself...my dd is 15 and a HS sophmore.

We have talked about jobs she wants to do, requirements for getting into college, gone to college fairs, she has taken a practice PSAT test with her sophmore class, she is taking PREAP & AP classes to try and boost her rank and keep her GPA above a 3.5.

Her english class big project is to pick 2 colleges and do the whole deal, resume, background, get a letter of recomendation from someone, etc....

The environment plays a big part I think. Her HS is competitive. Doing bad is frowned upon among the students.
We are going to go to colleges to check them out as well....

So I guess find something to do proactive with your child to motivate them. Also we discuss college and the good times we had, yadda, yadda,.....

Also we have been slowly forcing her to be "in-charge" of navigating her stuff. Calling her tutors, setting appts., steering her in the direction of you have to do it. Preparing her for college.

 

[Sherri]

Is my son living at your house????? Science class, fist trimester 110%, second trimester, C- and counting at mid-term?????? We thought he finally got it this year after having a good first trimester but he is not back to his same old lazy ways.

And thats the worst part, that when they show they CAN do it, but then don't, it drives me up a wall.
My ds claimed he didn't need to study for midterms. I have never heard of anything so silly.