Need advice for DS and roommate issues

[mssocks]

My only advice to offer is to talk about these things BEFORE they become an issue. Much easier to say "hey, I really don't want ........" at the time before irritation sets in rather than "we have a problem" when feelings are running a little hot.

 

[KarenB]

Thanks for the recent replies. As a mom, it is reassuring to hear that he is not the only one that has gone through this. We (Dh, DS, me) are going out for breakfast tomorrow and we will discuss the the situation. We will offer many of your suggestions, and then DS will have to decide from there what he should do. I would just like to personally give the kid a piece of my mind and tell the kid to cool it, but of course, DS is now an adult and he needs to learn how to handle these situations himself. Being a mom, I just have to remind myself how this issue will help him adapt in the real world later in life. On a positive note, he is meeting many new people, keeping busy and really enjoying his classes!

Oh, how easy were the days of diaper changings and middle of the night feedings.

Karen

 

[Megster]

I was an RA last year at my college so I just wanted to throw in my thoughts. If your son does have an RA please please please encourage him to go to that person. Situations like this are EXACTLY what RAs are trained to deal with - plus (speaking from an RA perspective) its a lot easier to deal with something like this than dealing with the situation once it escalates.

I would encourage your son to also speak to his roommate in the moment. I don't know how he would feel about using you as an excuse but I"m a huge fan of "my mom would freak out on me if she found out I was letting someone else use my laptop, and I just don't feel like dealing with that if she did find out".

Good luck!

 

[ColoradoBuffaloMom]

Everyone has a lot of great suggestions. I was a Hall Director in the Residence Halls for many years and dealt with roommate issues a lot.

It is MUCH easier said than done but strongly encourage your DS to talk to his roommate now before things escalate and other things become annoying. Maybe the roommate truly has no clue how inappropriate he is being and your son needs to tactfully point it out.

If talking to his roommate doesn't work I would strongly suggest your DS go to the RA. As others have said RAs are trained to help and most truly want to help. They can even suggest ways to handle the situation.

I like the idea of blaming mom for the roommate not being able to use the computer. That takes the bad guy off of your son and us moms are used to being the bad guy

Also my guess is that the college has plenty of computers available for those who don't bring a computer. It may not be as convenient at one in the room but it is not your son's responsibility to provide his roommate computer access.