need advice...DS and "travel" soccer

[Rock'n Robin]

My DS (almost 8) has played travel U8 soccer this past year. Including fall, spring and winter, cost about $800. We haven't gone to any tournaments but are going to one June 10 and 11.
In all honesty, he made it because only 10 kids tried out and one then moved. He isn't nearly as good as the other boys. He has improved this year, but most of the other kids have improved a LOT. He is slower than most of them and has weaker footskills. He has one goal on a penalty kick. He starts on the bench and plays when someone gets tired. He gets a lot of playing time if they are way ahead; not much at all if it is a close game. Mostly he runs up and down the field but occasionally he will get by the ball; about 25% of the time in that case he will kick and miss it or kick it a second too late (after someone else quicker got in there first).
Tryouts for next year are Monday. I signed him up, but I know that if they field 2 teams he will be "B" team(more kids are expected to try out), and if more than 20 try out he will likely get cut. Coach has praised his attitude numerous times, though. It's as if he doesn't know how weak his playing is.
DH and I are thinking of just forgetting the tryout and putting him back in "house" soccer. For one thing, there will be 2 tournaments next year, one spring and one fall. That is a hotel and expenses to watch him run back and forth. For another thing, while DS likes soccer, it will come to a point soon where he is hurting his team--the other boys on this team are so good right now he doesn't do any damage, but if he gets on a team (say the "B" team) with other boys they might not be so nice about his comparative lack of ability. And soon I'm sure someone will start picking on him about his skills as boys get older and meaner.
House soccer is $45 per season and before we did this, I was the commissioner for his age level and made sure he had a nice coach and no bullies on his team.
Any advice on this? I can pull out of the tryout anytime before Monday. If we pull out before, we can say it's just because we are too busy. If he tries out and gets cut, I'm afraid he'll hear about it from the other boys.
Robin M.

 

[soccerchick]

How does your son feel about this? If he's not playing much, he might not be having as much fun anyway. I'm super competitive and wouldn't be happy on the bench. If he's got a great attitude and just likes to play, period, house league might be a great match for him.

 

[Sir Real]

It amazes me that they have "travel" teams at U8. Kids this age should be more worried about the post-game snack than how much playing time they get, or how much the other 1st grade players are teasing him.

You obviously know what's better for your family, but my advice would be to let him have fun and not push him too much, or he'll end up hating the sport.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think that it would be better for your son to be one of the stronger players on a house team than a weak player on a travel team. My son has been playing on a travel baseball team since he was 7yo and has been a strong player, but if he ever was ever the weak kid I would prefer that he play rec. Even being a strong player we've always given him the option of playing rec, which he hasn't wanted to do.

Have you read any of Cal Ripken Jr's materials on youth athletics? I know he's written a book (maybe more than one) and it's great information for parents and coaches. He's basically against select sports for young children and thinks that they should be well rounded and playing different sports different seasons when young. Good reading!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

BTW, Cal Ripken, Jr just wrote a new book on youth athletics, Parenting Young Athletes, The Ripken Way . Here's the Amazon link. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/15...ref=sr_1_1/103-6650315-1989400?_encoding=UTF8

Rock'n Robin, it looks like it might be some good reading for you.

 

[golfgal]

The first thing that got me was $800 for an not quite 8 year old for soccer. I wouldn't hesitate to put him in the inhouse league. Having him play travel soccer now isn't going to make him a better player, infact, in my experience, playing the inhouse league probably will be better for that because they tend to focus more on skill development vs games.

I have coached high school sports for many, many years and the truth of the matter that most parents don't want to believe is that if you take a child and start them in a sport at age 5 and take an equally gifted athlete and start them at age 13, by the time they are 15 their skill levels will be the same and in most cases a naturally athletic kid can move from sport to sport and pretty much compete at a high level no matter what they do.

I would invest that $750/year in a college fund and play inhouse soccer.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Since he is 8, I say do the house soccer. I would rather he have a great year playing soccer, than a miserable year on a bench, missing out. 8 is so young for that kind of issue. It should be FUN for him.

If he has a sudden improvement he can always try out for a select team later.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

My own personal experience with my older boys has taught me that the kids do much better when they are one of the "middle" kids on the team. They need to be around better players so they will improve, but at the same time if they are the best on the team -- they turn into stuck up little snots who don't improve because they have nobody to challenge them.

I have an older son that started playing travel baseball at age 8, he moved up and played on a 9 year old team. It was ok. He was and is a good baseball player. But at age 15, I look back on it now and realize that as parents we looked at those trips as huge baseball tournaments and the only thing he really cared about was swimming in the hotel pool and hanging with his friends. Scout Camp would have been another good option.

If you live in an area where he can get a good soccer experience without the travel, then there really isn't an athletic reason to invest in the more expensive team. In boys sports there is a huge shake-up around ages 11 to 12 -- when they start growing. All the sudden, kids who couldn't even stand upright and kick a ball at the same time hit a growth spurt, grow some muscles, and their latent athletic talent bursts out. The exact opposite can also happen. I can think of so many kids my oldest son played with who were superstars at age 8, and now they don't even like sports.

 

[Sleepy]

My only addition to this topic is no matter what the activity, I think it is most important to always have the child playing at the level they are capable of. If a child makes a team and sits on the bench, in the beginning, they are happy and feel the same pride as the others on the field if the team wins. However, there comes a point when they realize they did nothing to gain that same sense of satisfaction and pride. If they never kick the ball and are only filling in for those injured or tired, it means they are not strong players. Weak players do not get stronger by sitting on the bench. My advice is to save your money and travel time and place your son on a team where he can improve his skills. IF your son is still interested in the game years from now and is ready to go to the next level, you will have plenty of opportunity to exercise your wallet reach and add extra miles to the family car. I'd love to switch places with someone at the beginning of the journey. THose were the days.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I really appreciate all of the advice. I kind of wanted to talk to the coach today at practice but didn't get a chance. We have games Saturday and Sunday. He did tell the team that so far 16 boys are going out for U9. The team limit is 10 kids. I wouldn't think they would field two teams of 8 (that would only be 2 subs on a day no one was missing) so I am assuming 6 kids will be cut...unless more come on Monday. He did tell our friend's son that his negative attitude is really hurting him, but he has never had anything but praise for DS's attitude. Even though DS may be lacking in skills, we have always stressed teamwork and sportsmanship.
I am leaning 75% (DH is probably 90%) to putting him back in house soccer, which here is two seasons of 6 games each, fall and spring. Next year it goes to a 3/4 grade team so he'd still be with some older kids. I also want to see what DS himself has to say about it! But again, I really appreciate all of the advice.
Robin M.

 

[DWDreams]

I can sympathize with your dilemna as I have a daughter that plays travel soccer and basketball and know how nerve-racking it can be not wanting to have them disappointed if they don't make it etc... In my case, I finally decided that if trying out was something she wanted, and she did, then I couldn't discourage it. A wise person told me that one of the hardest lessons in life is learning about disappointment, but it's also one of the most important ones. So I'll take that same advice I recieved and pass it along.

I say if its really something he wants, let him try. If he doesn't make it, encourage him to work on his skills and try again next year. The kids are so young at this age, the star of today may stop progressing and the one that barely makes the team at 8 could be the real team star in years to come. My daughter is at u11 age now so I've watched the same girls for a few years and each one brings something to the field. Some of the weaker ones back then are pretty strong players now, and none of them are the same players they were a few years ago. There are a few that dropped it, but there are also a few who weren't on the team a few years ago but are solid contributors now. Don't forget that the roster size increases as the age goes up because there are more players on the field.

I know as a parent how hard it is to swallow that fear of disappointment for them, but they're all better for it when we do. Much luck.