Need a little help from my friends....

[mickeysaver]

Gabby's mom has been in poor health, but hanging in there somehow for the last 9 years, with the past 3 years being particularly bad. She has CHF, Diabetes, COPD, and some level of renal failure. The past couple of weeks have been really rough for her, but this morning, her houselady found her in bed and completely out of it, so she called Gabby's sister and they decided that calling 911 would be a good idea. [Edited: Now the good sister has decided to driver her, which I think is a bad idea!]

Gabby is very much a mama's girl, so this is hitting her pretty hard. Gabby is most likely going to head down to FL tomorrow. Luckily, she can do her job from pretty much anywhere with an internet connection, so that helps. I ask for your prayers, good thoughts, or whatever positive energy that you can send towards Pati and the rest of the family. We are all very concerned about her.

Thanks.

 

[Sphyrna]

Sending good thoughts your way!!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Maggie, good thoughts for Gabby and her family! (And for you, too!)

 

[mickeysaver]

Update:

So, after the good sister arrived, she realized that Pati needed to go to the hospital by ambulance because she was really out of it. She had put all of her meds into a cup. She put pudding in a cup and then tried to burn it with a cigarette while yelling "Burn, that's what they're supposed to do!" She also had no idea what day or year it was/is.

Gabby is trying to keep it together. We are waiting on a further update once she is seen by the doctor.

 

[TinkerChelle]

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Maggie, hopefully she is just dehydrated and once they get some fluids in her she will be lucid.

 

[mickeysaver]

Ok, newest news is not good. Her Calcium and Potassium levels are way off. They think that she has a heart bundle problem. They also feel that she has progressive and permanent dementia and should be put into assisted living or a nursing home. Gabby will drive down tomorrow. I am helping her with laundry and packing.

Lots of stuff to get through in this and none of it is easy. Thanks for your help guys.

 

[f86sabjf]

sending good vibes an wishes your way

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Gabby's Mom and mine share nearly identical diagnoses. However, when my Mom started to act like she was having a psychotic break, I insisted on a simple test for UTI.

Yep. That was the problem. It's the number one cause of "dementia" in the elderly.

INSIST on a test.

All the best to her, Gabby and you!

 

[mickeysaver]

Thanks for that info! We know that she gets UTI's again and again, so we will make sure that is something that is considered. Gabby is 90% packed and is tidying up loose ends so that her employees and clients are taken care of in her absence. She is trying very hard to hold it together, but her mind is just churning with the "if's".

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Seriously. Have Gabby INSIST. I had to speak (quite firmly) directly with an ER nurse and demand that they test her.

How stupid is that, needing to demand a simple test.

It took a couple of days for my Mother's psuedo psych symptons to subside, but once the antibiotics took care of the UTI, she was back to her usual (quite cognizant thankyouverymuch) self.

 

[itsmuggsie]

sending good thoughts!

 

[jeanigor]

Think of you and Gabby, and sending good thoughts.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Sending prayers your way. Have a sick parent is hard and when they're out of town it's really hard.

Thank you for keeping us posted.

-A

 

[Sphyrna]

Hope it turns out better than it's looking. Maybe it is just an UTI causing it. Still sending good vibes all around!!

 

[mickeysaver]

Gabby made her way down to FL. She has said some things to me about what her sister has told her and I believe that the good sister has know for awhile that her mom was slipping and didn't tell Gabby. Gabby's mother is extremely proud of Gabby and her success in life and in her career. Her mom has many times in the past told her sisters to not tell Gabby what's going on with her so that Gabby won't worry.

Gabby to some extent knows that her mom has had some issues with being out of it, but her mom has always blamed it on being on pain killers. I forgot to mention that her mom has fibromyalgia on top of all of the other issues and is in constant pain. Pati has according to the sisters been having a particuarly rough time at night over the past couple of weeks. She has been talking all sorts of crazy stuff and hearing voices of people that aren't there, but then again, she has always claimed to have heard ghosts from time to time, so maybe she is just talking to ghosts.

Honestly, I thought that she was starting to slip a little when we went to Disney with Pati a couple of years ago at the holidays. It had it's good moments, but it was far from the relaxing Disney vacation that we usually enjoy. Her mom required constant attention and needed lots of help. Several times, we had to remind her to take her insulin and other meds. When Gabby and I were down in FL last December and visited with her mom, I noticed that she was having a lot of trouble hearing and was so easily frustrated by simple tasks. Now, having heard what the good sister has said about what's going on, sadly it seems that I was right and she is actually suffering from dementia.

I will get more info about what's going on after visiting hours end and Gabby leaves the hospital. I asked how Gabby was doing and she said that she had a a headache and a heartache and both were miserable.

 

[Sphyrna]

*HuGs* Keep us posted!

 

[mickeysaver]

Gabby & her good sister had a long talk this morning about what's going on and what they think needs to happen. I haven't heard all of the details yet, but she says that lots of changes are coming to our lives, which is true, but also kind of scary. I think that Gabby is planning to stay through next week so that she can go with her mom to the different doctor visits and be able to ask questions about her conditions and medicines. Gabby has to be home by 04/17/10 because she has to fly out to meet with some problematic client up north.

I know that Gabby has always wanted to be the hero. She hates living so far away from her mom. She really doesn't want to put her into an assisted living facility, because her mother always said that she never wanted to be put into one. It's nice to say that you want to take care of your parents, and for those who manage to do it, God bless you, but the reality of doing it is very hard work and completely mentally draining. The doctors said something to the effect of Pati needs to be in familiar surroundings. Fine, to me that says move her into a facility now while she still does have some cognition of what's going on and who people are, so that when that is gone, she will be used to where she is instead of trying to keep her at home, getting overwhelmed and then moving her and have her be disoriented and needlessly confused. Gabby has also mentioned trying to sell the house and move, which I think is not the smartest idea either since we most likely couldn't get out of it what we put into it and I know that I will have a hard time finding work in FL that pays much above minimum wage and my bills require that I bring home at least about 4 times that amount, which I can make here.

I really wish that I was there to talk to Gabby face to face about this, but that's not going to happen right now. Did I mention that life sometimes just plain sucks?

 

[hematite153]

I got here a bit late, but, it sounds like tough times and tough decisions. You are all in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that your way through this experience is as smooth as possible.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Dr. Salagubang. Tell Gabby to make an appointment with him for her Mom. I'll try to find his contact info for you. He's in the Orlando area and is the BEST geriatrician.

Moving her Mom out of state is NOT a great idea. Disorienting someone with dementia can have very poor consequences. Moving her into an ALF in her area, an area where she will still recogize the general template of things is the approach that has been demonstrated to cause the least disruption.

I promise you, I KNOW how hard this is, but right now the focus needs to be on what is the best for Mom, not the best for the daughters (to not feel guilty).

I hope that's not offensive, but it's seen all too often. Familes, with misguided senses of "duty" or thinking that they are doing what the parent would have wanted, make decisions based on emotion and not on clinical factors.

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs to you and Gabby both. I wish this whole thing didn't include such a distance between your home and her Mom.