Need a bit of support

dakuhn

Mouseketeer
Joined
Oct 6, 2008
Messages
84
So I'm staying home from work today on bereavement. I'm just so deep into loss and stress right now, that I'm having problems rising above it. I just need some people to send prayers my direction because with my current stress level I just don't know how to deal.
A bit of background. I'm the director of a school. I became the director there in January when my boss passed away unexpectedly of a brain aneurysm. I worked with her on Friday and on Saturday morning I got a call that she had passed. I now work 50 hours in an average week with my children there at the center with me. Getting things cleaned up from where they were when I took over has been a nightmare, but I don't want to tell anyone what I've been dealing with there because I loved the old director. She just wasn't a great businesswoman.
Then in March the assistant director of the center where I used to work (and where my husband is currently employed) passed away. Okay, so enough loss right?
My doctor then tells me that I should not have anymore children because of severe endometriosis and major back problems. DH and I had been trying for a while. We do have 2 kids already (a DS 5 yo and a DD 3 yo), so I am thankful for what I have and I accept that even though there are 4 people pregnant at work and some of them didn't want any more children.
In July there are complications with my church, where we spend a lot of my time and have many of our friends, and the two pastors have a complete falling out. We are very close to one of these families and decide to stop attending the church because of many issues with infighting and overall disorganization of a church that opened last year and we thought would be our forever church home.
At the beginning of July and my grandpa passes of a heart attack. The silver lining here is we are then reconnected with my uncle who had not contacted anyone in the family in over 10 years. Two weeks ago my uncle passes due to cancer and now over the weekend another grandpa passes. He was just diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago, but it was advanced by the time they found it.
I had been following my gyn directions, but now I am having continued problems and he calls me at home last week to tell me that he thinks I need to have a scope to check things out. I have had surgeries before and know I'll be fine, but my hormones are so out of whack that I am cycling horribly from loving to crazy and back at a moment's notice. My back problems are again hitting me hard, probably due to the huge amounts of stress I am under emotionally and at work.
Thank God for a strong and loving husband who has basically taken over the home to help me out even though he is working full time. Sometimes the stress of this rears its ugly head and we've been getting into some major fights recently because of it. I even left him home this weekend and took off with the kids to get some ice cream because I just couldn't deal anymore.
Really I just needed to get this out. My current silver lining is a family trip to Disney in December for our anniversary. My agent with MFL should be booking ADR's tomorrow. :yay:
 
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

That certainly has been a rough time for sure. Enough to get anybody down. I know myself when I was told I could not bear children for the same reason it upset me terribly. I wanted to make the choice, did not want someone else to make it for me.

I am very sorry about all the losses you have had, and the upsets. I love your attitude about the silver lining, and having this upcoming trip is certainly a lot to look forward to.

I will say continued prayers for you, and offer giant hugs :hug:
 
You certainly have had a lot lately.. please try to be good to yourself. You know your body and what you should be doing with the help of your gyn...hopefully you can mend and enjoy that trip in Dec. I have never had experience with endometriosis, but I know some who have and it is painful... hugs to you.. and thank goodness you have a good husband who is helpful to you.. I hope typing it out helped and maybe there are others who have this condition who might have some ideas for you..
 
:hug: Wow, you have a lot going on there. Do you have anyone to talk to in real life, like a family therapist? You have suffered a string of losses and it sounds like you haven't really had the time to process them. Have you ever been depressed before? Because, from here anyway, it sounds like you might be depressed now. Perhaps you can talk to the doctor about how you're feeling. A short course of meds plus a few sessions with a therapist might help you regain your equilibrium. :hug:
 













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