We have done both and I would choose Narcoossee's, hands-down! Although we are a couple with no kids (yet). We stayed at the Poly for our 1st anniversary (wanting to re-create our Hawaiian honeymoon, Disney-style), and I was so looking forward to the show. It was disappointing all around. We arrived early (as we were told), and as the earlier show ran long for some reason, we stood in a sea of people as they set up for the next seating. It was hot, crowded, and chaotic. We had 1st Tier seating and they were excellent seats! The food was cold and disappointing. Our server was also not good- he disappeared for most of our time there. If I'm remembering correctly, it was unlimited beer and wine but both were very cheap in quality. And with our server, we were lucky to get any! The first part of the show was very hokey and we didn't enjoy it at all. The luau part of the show was better. We had issues with people from the back coming up and standing in front of our seats, blocking our view. Even when CMs asked these people to take their seats, they still returned!
I believe you can get only Tier 2 and 3 seating using the
DDP (and it takes 2 credits). We paid for it OOP because we wanted Tier 1 seats. It was definitely not worth the price we paid.
I've seen good reviews for Spirit of Aloha, so maybe we caught it on a bad night. But we will not be back to give it another chance.
We've never had a bad experience at Narcoossee's, on the other hand (and we've been there 4 times- another one coming next month!). The surf and turf is good but the whole Maine lobster is excellent. The almond-crusted cheesecake is to die for! If you time your ADR for Wishes, you will able to see it from the restaurant. They have a nice covered deck that faces MK and the music is piped in. It's very romantic! We've seen plenty of young children there. Definitely worth 2 dining credits! Narcoossee's is on our must-do list for every Disney trip.
Whatever you choose, have a great time and congrats!
