My teen doesn't want to go

[Cackyschmackers]

That is true for overall number of unexcused absences. I'm going to guess that a single vacation will not exceed that number? And even then it becomes a matter of who, legally, gets to decide if an absence is "excused" or not.

I would guarantee that, for any parent who treats a cruise or other vacation as an educational opportunity/experience, it will be far more educational than the few days missed from school.

This is not how that works for public schools in Pennsylvania. You can have no more than 10 excused absences before court proceedings may begin; and that is *excused* absences, not unexcused absences. We have taken our kids out for our vacations, which we call educational trips and are excused by our school. Not every school district allows this however; several neighboring schools do not. We have had 5 excused absences bc of educational trips, then our child has gotten ill throughout the school year and has accrued 3 or 4 more excused. Then some for dr's appointments, which are also excused. The school district decides if it is excused or not. You personally may think a cruise is an excused absence, but not all schools do. You may treat it as an educational trip, as we do, but there is no guarantee the school will agree. Then to compound your child's issues with missed work, they may not be permitted to make up work missed with an unexcused absence. You said you homeschool, so I'm guessing it is up to you what is considered educational or not.

 

[barbarossa_hoosier]

This is not how that works for public schools in Pennsylvania. You can have no more than 10 excused absences before court proceedings may begin; and that is *excused* absences, not unexcused absences. We have taken our kids out for our vacations, which we call educational trips and are excused by our school. Not every school district allows this however; several neighboring schools do not. We have had 5 excused absences bc of educational trips, then our child has gotten ill throughout the school year and has accrued 3 or 4 more excused. Then some for dr's appointments, which are also excused. The school district decides if it is excused or not. You personally may think a cruise is an excused absence, but not all schools do. You may treat it as an educational trip, as we do, but there is no guarantee the school will agree. Then to compound your child's issues with missed work, they may not be permitted to make up work missed with an unexcused absence. You said you homeschool, so I'm guessing it is up to you what is considered educational or not.

Yes, and that is one of the many reasons that we decided to homeschool. Every parent tries to do what is best for their children, and I am thankful that we have that option.

 

[cmwade77]

This is not how that works for public schools in Pennsylvania. You can have no more than 10 excused absences before court proceedings may begin; and that is *excused* absences, not unexcused absences. We have taken our kids out for our vacations, which we call educational trips and are excused by our school. Not every school district allows this however; several neighboring schools do not. We have had 5 excused absences bc of educational trips, then our child has gotten ill throughout the school year and has accrued 3 or 4 more excused. Then some for dr's appointments, which are also excused. The school district decides if it is excused or not. You personally may think a cruise is an excused absence, but not all schools do. You may treat it as an educational trip, as we do, but there is no guarantee the school will agree. Then to compound your child's issues with missed work, they may not be permitted to make up work missed with an unexcused absence. You said you homeschool, so I'm guessing it is up to you what is considered educational or not.

You always have the right to pull them our for "independent study" for a certain amount of time, I believe it is up to two weeks with a minimum notice, which I believe is 30 days per federal law which overrides all state laws. Alternatively, home schooling is an option and you can even do that for just part of a year as well. Of course this was a couple of years ago, so please double check that the law is still in place.

Now, it may not be in the child's best interest to be pulled out of school, that really depends on the child, but my point is that I would not accept such garbage from the school. If all else failed, I would homeschool before accepting such mandates. I don't accept others forcing their views on what is or isn't in my child's best interests on me, sure the teacher can let me know if they think it is a good idea or not based on their performance, but don't try to force me to do what you want, that is the fastest way to get me to take the exact opposite action.

 

[Cackyschmackers]

@barbarossa_hoosier and @cmwade77 Yes, everyone should do what is right for their family. That is why we chose the school district to move to that we did; Award winning and ranked at the very top of our state. Excellent, committed teachers, small teacher: student ratio;state of the art facilities, support programs and enrichment resources. Regardless, I'm not quite sure it would be in any child's best interest to miss more than 10 days of school for whatever the reason. But that's just me. You do you.

 

[Belleofthehouse]

At that age, we rarely took family vacations due to sports and school. Our school district allows very few unexcused absences....and vacations are considered unexcused.
When we did take vacations, my teenagers had input. If its a family vacation, we liked to know where they wanted to go as much as us, the parents. I have 20, 18, and 15 year old boys/men. And as much as they enjoy Disney, they look forward to other destinations. Maybe consider something different for now. In a few years he may be ready to go back to Disney.

 

[AquaDame]

I'm pretty removed from kids these days (we grew up in the 80s & 90s) but my brother frequently requested to stay home when he was a teenager. It resulted in him being a lot more confident going off to college alone since he "knew" he could take care of himself whereas I was pretty scared of the whole thing, having never once been on my own before then. He also ended up with a better relationship with my parents than I have since they practiced trust and respect with him, whereas they tried to rule over me more strictly because I was a girl.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is the best thing I think a parent can do is listen to their kids and not just arbitrarily do what they insist is best. Talk to him more about it. If he feels like he needs to stay home for whatever reason and you trust him, then it might be a really positive move. The grandparents are there to make sure nothing bad happens and maybe the times he does go will feel that much more special to him.

Edited to add: it very likely could also be very special to him to have had that time with his grandmother. Mine have all passed on and I miss them every day.... the time I had with them when I was growing up was very important.

 

[Amandine]

Edited to add: it very likely could also be very special to him to have had that time with his grandmother. Mine have all passed on and I miss them every day.... the time I had with them when I was growing up was very important.

I second that so much. As a kid, it felt like my grandparents would be around forever -- I adored them, but in the innocence of youth, never really thought about losing them. Then when I was just starting college, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, and we lost him within months. It was one of the hardest things in my life.

I am so grateful for all of the then-seemingly-endless summer days my parents allowed me to stay with my grandparents on their farm during grade school. I treasure those memories so much.

 

[cruiser21]

I second that so much. As a kid, it felt like my grandparents would be around forever -- I adored them, but in the innocence of youth, never really thought about losing them. Then when I was just starting college, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, and we lost him within months. It was one of the hardest things in my life.

I am so grateful for all of the then-seemingly-endless summer days my parents allowed me to stay with my grandparents on their farm during grade school. I treasure those memories so much.

When I took my youngest son to WDW in May. My mother-in-law came out and visited my older son. It wasn't a babysitting issue. My son is 15 and my husband was just at work. I think she just wanted to spend a little one on one with him. I'm sure he enjoyed being taken out to eat several times that week. They also went to see a few movies.

 

[cruiser21]

You always have the right to pull them our for "independent study" for a certain amount of time, I believe it is up to two weeks with a minimum notice, which I believe is 30 days per federal law which overrides all state laws. Alternatively, home schooling is an option and you can even do that for just part of a year as well. Of course this was a couple of years ago, so please double check that the law is still in place.

Now, it may not be in the child's best interest to be pulled out of school, that really depends on the child, but my point is that I would not accept such garbage from the school. If all else failed, I would homeschool before accepting such mandates. I don't accept others forcing their views on what is or isn't in my child's best interests on me, sure the teacher can let me know if they think it is a good idea or not based on their performance, but don't try to force me to do what you want, that is the fastest way to get me to take the exact opposite action.

I totally agree. In most states you can pull your kids out to homeschool and then re-enroll them if you want to. I would not let the state or any government agency determine whats best for my child. Studies show homeschooled kids do just as well in college(or better) as classroom kids. It's parent involvement that makes the biggest difference in a childs development. I'm firmly in the it takes a parent to raise a child not a village camp. My kids have done all forms of schooling and they are doing just fine academically.

 

[aggiedog]

Wow, a lot has happened since I last posted!

To the OP, I totally get it. We travel a lot and school attendance per se has never been a priority though grades are. As the kids (4) got older we realized even a couple weeks of elementary equaled missing only several days at most of junior high. My teens say missing a day in HS is like missing a week. They avoid it whenever possible, because the additional make up work on top of their daily work gets overwhelming. Add in AP or honors courses and soon a cruise you weren't all that interested in to begin with seems more like punishment.

FWIW, in our district if you request the work ahead of time you get it your last day and it must be turned in the day you get back, guaranteeing you spend vacation doing AP calculus, etc.

Our district will only let you miss xx number of days,period. That includes academic, athletic,or music activities even if school sponsored. If you go over the cut off, they will not advance to the next grade without doing makeup Saturday or summer school, no matter your actual GPA. Dd is involved enough she's had to pare down activities to stay under the cut off.

We plan family vacations with the school calendar in mind.

If your ds is not that excited about the cruise then I'd consider letting him stay home. As a PP said, it will be a good time to experiment with a different family dynamic. He'll travel with you again.

 

[aggiedog]

I can't seem to edit from my phone, but I'd just add that if your teen is mature enough to weigh the cost benefit of his decision then I'd trust him. If my then 16 yo dd, who loves to travel and was also ultimately valedictorian, made the same choice, I'd respect it. You know him best, despite what other posters here seem to think.

(I'm sending this from Provence, on a graduation trip for dd. No schoolwork to worry about now!)

 

[Dallas_Lady]

Does he not want to go on the cruise/family vacation at all or does he just not want to have to miss school? If it's the latter, I'd find a different time and/or vacation during a school break.

 

[cruiser21]

This is not how that works for public schools in Pennsylvania. You can have no more than 10 excused absences before court proceedings may begin; and that is *excused* absences, not unexcused absences. We have taken our kids out for our vacations, which we call educational trips and are excused by our school. Not every school district allows this however; several neighboring schools do not. We have had 5 excused absences bc of educational trips, then our child has gotten ill throughout the school year and has accrued 3 or 4 more excused. Then some for dr's appointments, which are also excused. The school district decides if it is excused or not. You personally may think a cruise is an excused absence, but not all schools do. You may treat it as an educational trip, as we do, but there is no guarantee the school will agree. Then to compound your child's issues with missed work, they may not be permitted to make up work missed with an unexcused absence. You said you homeschool, so I'm guessing it is up to you what is considered educational or not.

What happens in these court proceedings? Do they take your kids away from you? It sounds like what would go on in a communist country. I think I'd move to a different state. Seems a little extreme. What if someone in your family has health problems. I could think of a lot of reasons a child may have to miss weeks of school that didn't involve vacation.

 

[Cackyschmackers]

What happens in these court proceedings? Do they take your kids away from you? It sounds like what would go on in a communist country. I think I'd move to a different state. Seems a little extreme. What if someone in your family has health problems. I could think of a lot of reasons a child may have to miss weeks of school that didn't involve vacation.

I have no idea, but we've received the letter twice bc of vacation and illness. It comes from the County. Our vice principal is the truant officer, the mandatory reporter in this case. The CYS in our Intermediate Unit of our County gets involved in truancy cases. Did you not realize that children are required to go to school until a certain age in our country?

P.S. We live in Pennsylvania, and I think I'll stay put, but thanks. Lol

 

[littledebbie335]

What happens in these court proceedings? Do they take your kids away from you? It sounds like what would go on in a communist country. I think I'd move to a different state. Seems a little extreme. What if someone in your family has health problems. I could think of a lot of reasons a child may have to miss weeks of school that didn't involve vacation.

It's my understanding that the reason they investigate these things is to catch the kids who need social services or whose parents need additional support. I doubt they would penalize someone who was dealing with health problems or a similar issue. However, problems at home might present themselves during a truancy investigation, so I do think that's a pretty solid reason for them to exist.

 

[Cackyschmackers]

It's my understanding that the reason they investigate these things is to catch the kids who need social services or whose parents need additional support. I doubt they would penalize someone who was dealing with health problems or a similar issue. However, problems at home might present themselves during a truancy investigation, so I do think that's a pretty solid reason for them to exist.

This is exactly the reason. And i looked at our letter again and fines to parents can be imposed ($300). The state wants kids to stay in school and the IU gets involved in cases where the children may be at risk.

 

[cruiser21]

I have no idea, but we've received the letter twice bc of vacation and illness. It comes from the County. Our vice principal is the truant officer, the mandatory reporter in this case. The CYS in our Intermediate Unit of our County gets involved in truancy cases. Did you not realize that children are required to go to school until a certain age in our country?

P.S. We live in Pennsylvania, and I think I'll stay put, but thanks. Lol

No I'm an idiot I didn't realize kids had to go to school?? I pulled my kids out for 5 weeks when my mom had a stroke. We had to leave town. A few weeks when my BIL died of Cancer. Sometimes life takes priority over school. I'm glad I didn't have to worry about being taken to court over it. I was just asking I didn't know this type of intrusiveness existed. Now I do. Thanks for educating me on how things work in some states.

 

[Amandine]

We faced the same thing this past year when my son had ongoing health issues throughout the school year and managed to use up not only all of his allowed parental notes, but also all of his allowed doctors' excuses. We fortunately hit the end of the school year at that point, but we had received multiple threatening letters from the board of education by then letting us know what the consequences would be if he missed any more school -- one more absence and we would have been required to go to court. I seriously doubt the judge would have done anything but look at his medical history and agree that the absences were justified, but it was an unreasonable consequence imho, and I was glad we fell just shy of having to deal with it.

 

[MUN]

Just told my 3 kiddos that I booked a 4 day cruise in January. 2 were excited but my 16 year old not so much. I booked this particular cruise because he has a few days off from school that week. He's pretty adamant he doesn't want to go and I'm not sure it's worth it to make him. He has been on 5 other Disney cruises so it's not like he's never been, but the idea of him not coming along makes me so sad. His grandmother said he can stay with her, so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Anyone else have this issue? And do I or don't I have him go?

I didn't bother to read the other 5 pages of posts, but my 2¢ is to let him stay with grams and save the cruise and travel costs. And no, we don't have teens that want to skip DCL cruises. Our children are 13, 16 and 18 and they have been on 6 cruises and can't wait to go on their 7th. Will there be an 8th with the whole fam? Only time will tell.

Enjoy your cruise!

MUN

 

[jeepnjudy]

Here's Georgia's Education law:

As of July 1, 2004, Georgia’s Compulsory School Attendance Law 20-2-690.1 became much stricter in regard to truancy. The new law states that more than five (5) unexcused absences constitute truancy. The law also states that possible consequences for parent(s)/guardian(s) of student’s whose unexcused absences exceed five (5) days may be:


At least a $25 and not more than a $100 fine;


Up to 30 days of jail time;


Community service; or


Any combination of these penalties


Family vacations are not excused absences in accordance with state of Georgia Board of Education rules.