my son's first prom... I need etiquette help Please:)

[WendyLovesPeter]

He is going with a friend. They are going together mostly so they can walk in together and because everyone else is going as couples... they are def not a dating couple. At our school there is a big to do with the walk in. Parents go up to school to watch and this is a major photo op. Anyway I asked him about flowers or a corsage, and he gave me the blank brain look and said I don't think so. I said "Oh I think so." This was a couple weeks ago. Anyway the girls aunt does floral arrangements, and they recently offered to do the corsage and boutinieere (sp?). They are going to give it directly to the girls family. How should I handle this? Do I offer to pay or do I just hand over some money, and how much?

then besides his tux... what other things do I need to guide him on besides a clean car?

 

[prncess674]

He needs to provide flowers! I would just ask the Aunt how much you owe. Sure they are just friends but this girl is thinking "THIS IS PROM!" and she doesn't want to be shorted on the experience simply because she is being escorted by a friend.

 

[aepecoraro]

He is going with a friend. They are going together mostly so they can walk in together and because everyone else is going as couples... they are def not a dating couple. At our school there is a big to do with the walk in. Parents go up to school to watch and this is a major photo op. Anyway I asked him about flowers or a corsage, and he gave me the blank brain look and said I don't think so. I said "Oh I think so." This was a couple weeks ago. Anyway the girls aunt does floral arrangements, and they recently offered to do the corsage and boutinieere (sp?). They are going to give it directly to the girls family. How should I handle this? Do I offer to pay or do I just hand over some money, and how much?

then besides his tux... what other things do I need to guide him on besides a clean car?

The guy should pay for the corsage, and the girl usually pays for the boutonnière.

 

[WendyLovesPeter]

He needs to provide flowers! I would just ask the Aunt how much you owe. Sure they are just friends but this girl is thinking "THIS IS PROM!" and she doesn't want to be shorted on the experience simply because she is being escorted by a friend.

well, yeah, thats what I said. My question is NOT do we get flowers! Its how do I handle the offer. Please understand my post.

 

[dawson5]

Yep I would ask the Aunt how much. What about an after-prom? We had one, I think doors opened at midnight and you weren't allowed to leave until a certain time, if you did they called your parents and you were not allowed to return. That is another story though. Also after-prom was set up like a Monte Carlo night. I don't remember if they needed extra money or not.

I think we paid for prom tickets, after-prom, flowers. Are they doing anything the next day? (I grew up in Ohio) we went to Cedar Point one year and Mohican another. Are they planning on hanging out the next day together--we always went with as a group.

What about a vehicle? Are they driving, going with others, limo? Went to school with a kid whose dad worked for the tv station (WEWS) and showed up in their news helicopter--I believe they banned that option afterwards.

Pictures?

Is dinner included? We saw two sides of this. One was included with the ticket and another school it was just hors douvres. A lot of kids did the dinner before.

These are the expenses that I can think of right now that you might run into.

 

[WendyLovesPeter]

The guy should pay for the corsage, and the girl usually pays for the boutonnière.

yes, i know. I feel that the transaction is out of my hands though because it is going through the girls family. I don't even know the name of the aunt or I would call her direct and get it all paid.

 

[dawson5]

yes, i know. I feel that the transaction is out of my hands though because it is going through the girls family. I don't even know the name of the aunt or I would call her direct and get it all paid.

Put him to work. Make him get the information.

 

[prncess674]

well, yeah, thats what I said. My question is NOT do we get flowers! Its how do I handle the offer. Please understand my post.

I would get your son on the project ASAP and ask who the Aunt is. If you aren't familiar with all the prom customs at your son's school I would talk to the parent of a recent graduate. Talk to people at your church or at work who had a recent graduate.

Other things your son may not be thinking about. Not all of these are customary at every school or community
- coordinating tuxedo to dress color
- shared limo/limo bus with other couples
- pre prom dinner
- paying for tickets
- paying for photos
- after prom activities
- will he pick her up? Will they meet at one friend's house?


Another option is just call the girl's mother if you know her. She may clue you in to some items that you as the mother of a boy may not be thinking about. Not exactly the same thing, but boys can be clueless and the girls aren't always good at communicating to the boys what they want or expecting. My sister got married last year and she kept mentioning "I know Travis is going to send flowers to the house on the day of the wedding." I am positive she never even hinted to her future husband about it, so my Mom had to clue her future husband to the fact. I know he didn't have it pre-planned because right after my mom mentioned it he asked for the name of a local florist.

 

[pyrxtc]

He should be paying for his tux, his flower, his ticket, and transport. if they going as friends then they each should be paying their won way. Split the pictures down the middle or pay more if you want a bigger package. Make sure you know the girls dress color so you can co-ordinate the tie/vest color. I keep noticing that people say pre-prom dinner but every prom I have gone to had dinner at the prom.

So basically- gas the car, girls dress color, and his flower but the aunt is probably not charging anything just as I wouldn't charge to take photo's of my nieces and nephews.

 

[WendyLovesPeter]

So basically- gas the car, girls dress color, and his flower but the aunt is probably not charging anything just as I wouldn't charge to take photo's of my nieces and nephews.

yes, we got the car. arrangements already made for tux to match dress. tickets already purchased.

thanks for the tips. I have a feeling some of the PP are not used to dealing with teen boys.... it is not easy to get info TO them or FROM them

 

[cats mom]

well, yeah, thats what I said. My question is NOT do we get flowers! Its how do I handle the offer.

yes, i know. I feel that the transaction is out of my hands though because it is going through the girls family. I don't even know the name of the aunt or I would call her direct and get it all paid.

If it were me I'd tell DS that HE definitely needs to offer to pay for the coursage; but given the circumstances, if his friend/date says not to worry about it, I wouldn't.

 

[Mrs. Bradbury]

yes, we got the car. arrangements already made for tux to match dress. tickets already purchased.

thanks for the tips. I have a feeling some of the PP are not used to dealing with teen boys.... it is not easy to get info TO them or FROM them

I hear ya. If I were in your position, I would call the girl's mother - surely you can secure her phone number somehow - and just say, "Hi, I'm *little darling's* mom; would you please give me the number for your sister who's doing the corsage for *sweet diddlykin* so that *little darling* can pay for it?"

It could be that she's doing it as a gift.

 

[honeydiane1953]

He is going with a friend. They are going together mostly so they can walk in together and because everyone else is going as couples... they are def not a dating couple. At our school there is a big to do with the walk in. Parents go up to school to watch and this is a major photo op. Anyway I asked him about flowers or a corsage, and he gave me the blank brain look and said I don't think so. I said "Oh I think so." This was a couple weeks ago. Anyway the girls aunt does floral arrangements, and they recently offered to do the corsage and boutinieere (sp?). They are going to give it directly to the girls family. How should I handle this? Do I offer to pay or do I just hand over some money, and how much?

then besides his tux... what other things do I need to guide him on besides a clean car?

yes u pay go to the florist or call and send a check ASAP