My son is 9 months and refuses to sit on his own

meloneyb21

DIS Veteran
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
4,333
I'm confused. He was checked by his pediatrician. No problems. Nothing wrong with his back or anything. He just simply refuses. He would rather crawl, lay down, try to stand (he can't stand on his own yet) or be in his walker. I don't know what to do. He doesn't cry when I try to sit him or when he's in his high chair, he just won't do it. It's like "I'll sit when I feel like it mom, just let me chill." Is there anything I can do?

DD was sitting on her own at 5 months. Standing on her own at 9. Walking at 10.
 
Every kid is different. My kids did not walk until they were almost 13 months old. They were just learning to crawl at 9 months.

Distraction and redirection is your best tool at that age.

In other words, try to use a positive method to get him to sit. Refocus something on his highchair so he wants to sit. Engage him in a postive way.
 
I wish I knew the answer to your question. Sometimes, being a parent can be so frustrating and hard...:hug: Hang in there, I am sure someone will come along who is more helpful than I have been.
 
Having been this route several times with my kids, I would say that when he is ready, he'll do it. It is tough to compare kids' progress - as long as the dr says there are no concerns, your son is simply letting you that he has a mind of his own. Just think, in a few yrs, he'll be so active that sitting still for any amount of time will amaze you!!!
 

If he's not ready he's not ready, he'll do it when he's ready! My youngest ds is now 4 1/2yrs but when he was a baby he refused to hold his own bottle. Ever. He was off the bottle at 14mo and refused to use a sippy cup, I bought the sippy cups that are more like children's sports bottles with a flip top lid with a straw, those he would use. Picking up a sippy cup and tilting his head back to drink, forget about it. Actually our first trip to WDW was when he was 18mo and we were going through the gift shops trying to find a sippy/straw cup for him to use.

It's hard not to compare what one child does to another. My oldest started walking around 11mo and my youngest didn't start until he was 15mo. He also didn't talk until he was 2 where my oldest started talking earlier.
 
I got this advice from one of my BIL's (who is a family doctor)

Babies do not read the baby books...so they don't always know what they are supposed to be doing!

I'm sure that every baby has a milestone that they just don't meet. You've checked with your ped...you'll most likely be back at 12 months for a well-baby appt. I wouldn't worry about it until then!
 
I'm confused. He was checked by his pediatrician. No problems. Nothing wrong with his back or anything. He just simply refuses. He would rather crawl, lay down, try to stand (he can't stand on his own yet) or be in his walker. I don't know what to do. He doesn't cry when I try to sit him or when he's in his high chair, he just won't do it. It's like "I'll sit when I feel like it mom, just let me chill." Is there anything I can do?

DD was sitting on her own at 5 months. Standing on her own at 9. Walking at 10.

You answered your own question: He'll sit when he feels like it. If he is crawling and trying to stand then I would assume that he *can* sit, but he just choses to do something more active. At 9 months all my babies wanted to do was cruise. They would spend hours standing up and sitting down in their crib. Assuming that your ped didn't find anything to be concerned about I would say, just back down. He's developing normally. When it suits him to sit(which I would say will probably be *after* he tires himself of all this movement) then he'll sit.

My oldest didn't sit either--unless you had food in front of him. then he could sit for as long as there was food on his plate. He prefered to be rolling around, scooting on his bottom, pulling up on the couch, cruising around the coffee table,etc. You get the picture. Totally normal.

Now my DD? She was a sitter. Nice little girl, she liked to sit and hold things. She would sit and play like nobody's business. But DS? coudn't be bothered. There were places to go and people to see.
 
I'm going to be the lone semi-dissenting voice.

I wouldn't worry about it yet, but do keep an eye on him to see if he misses any other physical movement milestones in the next few months to a year. Youngest DS was on the very far side of normal for almost all his milestones (sat up at 9 months, crawled at 10 months, walked at 15 months, etc.) and as a toddler didn't do a few things that we thought he should be doing but just passed off as "he'll do them when he's ready" (propelling little tikes kiddie car around and kicking come to mind). Turned out he couldn't do them. One of the things DS wouldn't/couldn't do was sit on the floor with his legs straight in front of him (this came out as an issue at pre-school - for not following directions :sad2:). We finally had a PT evaluation for him turned out he had short hamstrings and tight heel cords. He still receives treatment in school but mostly he's much much better. So as a mom listen to your instinct if you truly think there is something wrong ask your pediatrician to have him referred for a PT evaluation; they do a much more thorough evaluation than your pediatrician can do - but I don't think they can do anything until he is a toddler.
 
I agree that every baby does things on their own schedule. When DS was developing on a sort of backward schedule, our pediatrician gave us fun things to do with him so his muscles would develop well - especially the back muscles that allow sitting up. We got a couple of toys designed for this and used them. It's been 14 years but I remember an inflated barrel that was colorful and made noise that we rolled him over which caused him to raise his head and develop neck and back muscles. We had one consultation with an infant physical therapist who gave us some ideas on how to encourage him to play for physical development. It was kinda of like yoga for babies, lol! He loved the attention and he's a great athlete now with a very healthy set of muscles. Not sure what would have happened had we left it alone, maybe nothing but our doc thought it important.
 
Having raised 4 children, and now I'm on my 6th grandchild.

My one advise. Do Not compare one child to another. Some sit early, some walk early, some talk early, some listen and take everything in and let other do their talking.

Each child has their own personality and speed of development, late bloomers most time grow-up to be some of the most fascinating productive adults. With a loving and caring personality. I know I've raised 2 and they are over-achievers in their adult life with very special personalities that seem to succeed in everything they do, with a devotion to living life to its fullest.

As long as their medically sound I would not worry.
 
Ok, thanks for all the great advice. I have no choice but to wait until he's ready.
 
If you have any concerns about your baby's development, please call early intervention (either through your school system or health department - ours is health). By law, you will have a team of qualified professionals come to your home and evaluate your child, for free, by law. Pediatricians are notorious for missing developmental delays - they see SO many kids, and only for a few minutes each visit. Maybe he has low tone? Both of my sisters ds' have received PT starting early on.

My ds received PT and ST after getting evaluated, both times my pediatrician said nothing was wrong (the PT at 4 months due to torticollis - he could only turn his head one way, the ST at 20 months - he had no language).

They could tell you he's fine, and then no more worries! :thumbsup2
 
DS17 was sitting on his own by 3 1/2 months--I know WAY early-surprised us too. The dr couldn't believe it when we brought him in for his 4 month check up that he was sitting already. He was running around the house by 8 months-it was not good.

The twins didn't sit on their own until they were a little over 10 months, didn't walk until 13 and 15 months. They are completely normal now and I MUCH preferred this time schedule to DS17's!!
 
Bear with me...

I'm not trying to be a pain, but I don't like your use of the word "refuse" in this situation. To me, refusing implies conscious thought about doing something, and a 9 month old would (arguably) be too young to think about this in such a way.

Refuse http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/refuse

I would have felt differently if you used the word "won't". ;)

Why does it matter? Because it may very well be something that he'd "like" to do (if indeed that's possible :teeth: ), but is unable to do so for whatever reason. He may be on his own timeline, or he may have a physical problem.

I'd probably consider an evaluation to make sure everything's ok if it were me.

Good luck.
 












Save Up to 30% on Rooms at Walt Disney World!

Save up to 30% on rooms at select Disney Resorts Collection hotels when you stay 5 consecutive nights or longer in late summer and early fall. Plus, enjoy other savings for shorter stays.This offer is valid for stays most nights from August 1 to October 11, 2025.
CLICK HERE













DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest

Back
Top