My son, his food allergies... and snack time at school....

[HappyMommy2]

Originally posted by poohandwendy


As a teacher, I would feel that it shouldn't be left up to children to ensure the safety of one of their classmates (especially after they have proven to be not so good at doing so). Legally, she is responsible for what goes on in her classroom. If she feels there is no way to ensure that a classmate will be careful, everytime, she really has no choice but to make sure that he won't be put in a compromising situation. If she doesn't and this sort of thing happens again, with horrible results, she knows you could hold her responsible. That may not be a chance she wants to take.

Mermaid, I am so sorry your little boy has to deal with this, especially at such a tender age! I do agree with poohandwendy, though. I don't think I would trust your son's classmates (even with good discipline from the teacher) to protect his health. Unless the lunchroom situation is such that your son's teacher or another monitor can devote almost full attention to your son during lunchtime, the peanut-free table may be the best solution. The fact that the teacher doesn't get along with you certainly clouds the issue but I think that even if you were best friends she probably would have had to do the same thing.
Obviously she should have disciplined the offending kids, though!

 

[Sleepy]

I agree with poohandwendy as well. If the original poster has issues with her son eating alone, maybe the teacher can have a bag with the names of all the kids in the class. Draw one name a day and inspect that childs lunch contents. That will be the child who sits at the peanut free table.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I am sorry your son had to go through this, but I don't think the other children were trying to be mean.

For instance, I'm an adult, and I forgot about a good friends peanut allergy the other day. We had friends over and completely forgetting the one of them was allergic to peanuts, I offered him cookies made from dough that had been processed in a factory that also makes peanut products.

Luckily he asked if there were peanuts in the cookies before I got them too close.

If I could forget, surely small children can forget.

As for the teacher, I think she she should allow other students to sit with him , as long as she inspects their lunches first.

 

[disykat]

It's such a hard dilema - peanut free table or not. My son sits with everyone else - mainly because he hasn't had issues with it (he doesn't sit next to anyone with peanut products though) and we've tried hard to keep his peanut allergies very low key to avoid this type of bullying.

I can see the teacher's point for a peanut free space for him to eat. I do think, however, that she should have addressed even the possibility that bullying may have occured - whether she saw it or not - and it should have been addressed with the bully not by punishing the victim. This kind of bullying WILL happen - it has certainly happened to my son. His school took it very seriously. The kids were talked to by the principal and the parents were called. Whether the kids realize it or not (and they don't) it is a death threat. Technically they were using peanut butter as a weapon and that is against school rules. They need to be educated so it doesn't happen again. The same kids could do the same thing with their unwashed hands after snack or at lunch recess - moving him during snack doesn't solve the problem.

 

[crazyme5kids]

Is it possible the teacher did talk to the other children? She might have done so already.

 

[momof2inPA]

There was a teacher at my friend's son's school who lined up the kids according to what was in their lunches- no peanut/ peanut butter at the front of the line, peanut butter kids in the back. Then the peanut allergic kid went to the front of the line, and they all marched down to the cafeteria and ate at the same table.

 

[kbeverina]

I can tell you what I did with my diabetic son, and maybe you can figure out a way to make it work with your son next year. At the beginning of the year, I go in and read a story about a child diagnosed with diabetes to give the kids an idea what it is.

Then I break out the equipment and have my son show them how he checks his sugar and takes shots. They're so impressed to see my son prick his finger so nonchalantly and so impressed to see the needle he sticks himself with--they wouldn't dream of making fun of him.

As we're demonstrating, I'll get the kids talking about any medical experiences they may have had, tonsils out, broken arm, etc. They really like that part--I think it makes them feel they have something as interesting to talk about as insulin syringes. And it makes my son seem not so unusual.

He's in fifth grade now and I don't do this anymore, but none of his friends care about it any more than he does anyway.

Maybe you can talk about the allergy in general, talk about the reactions he had that led you to his diagnosis, play up his bravery, how he was in the hospital, or all the needle pricks he had to go through to get tested, etc. And then break out the epipen and show the needle and talk about how your son will have to go through shots if he ever has a reaction. Kids that age are always impressed with kids who have to get shots and don't seem bothered by it.

I hope things are better next year--it's hard to send a child off to school and be worried the whole time he's there.

 

[Christine]

Having a peanut allergic child myself, I can agree with what some of you pointed out about the teacher possibly doing this to protect the child because the young children can't really protect him. This is good; however, I inferred from the OP that the kids did this in a taunting matter--purposefully. Not some accidental bumping up against his lunch. They did it on purpose knowing full well that he has an allergy. I will be the first to admit that these children cannot possibly know the severity and danger of the allergy, but the school missed a very important opportunity to teach respect for others and to show how seriously they take this allergy. THOSE KIDS STILL NEED TO BE DISCIPLINED FOR THEIR ACTIONS. You let them keep getting away with this stuff and we end up with far worse behavior in the older grades.

 

[poohandwendy]

but the school missed a very important opportunity to teach respect for others and to show how seriously they take this allergy. THOSE KIDS STILL NEED TO BE DISCIPLINED FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

Actually, we don't know if the teacher disciplined the students or had a talk with the class about the dangers involved. I agree it should happen, if it didn't.

 

[Roemama1]

Originally posted by LScot


This smilie is as mad looking as we have here. He needs the flame coming out of his head.

Here you go!

I volunteer at my DD's school and there is a little girl there in Kindergarten who is allergic, too. She has to sit at a table with other kids that don't have p-butter for lunch, etc. The kids know to not sit with her if they have p-butter/nuts, etc.

to all the families going through this.

 

[Pinnie]

As a teacher. I am going to agree with poohamdwendy here. Also, due to confidentiality laws, the teacher may NOT be at liberty to discuss the OTHER children and any discussion she may have had with them with the OP.

Her first responsibilty is to make sure the child with the allergy is safe and, at this point, her solution may be the ONLY one possible.


Remember, there are two sides to every story!

pin

 

[Melora]

My ex hubby had a bad peanut allergy. One time he ate a soup that had peanut oil (he could never taste peanuts) and he spent 5 hours dry heaving in the bathroom. His throat swole closed so bad we almost took him to emergncy but after a good size dose of benydrl he felt better, but not totally better for days.

I couldnt even have PB in the house because the residue would make him sick.

When I met him 18+ years ago, I had never heard of peanut allergies. He is also allergic to Brazil Nuts so severely that even ingesting a little bit could kill him. But no other nuts....!

One time my son was in a class with a kid who had a peanut allergy and the parents sent home a very nice note about it and asked us all to talk to our kids about the severity of it and to please if possible not to send PB or other peanut snacks unless they felt their child would eat them away from their child.

 

[Sleepy]

Originally posted by Melora
When I met him 18+ years ago, I had never heard of peanut allergies. He is also allergic to Brazil Nuts so severely that even ingesting a little bit could kill him. But no other nuts....!

My dad is only allergic to macadamia nuts......found that out about 30 years ago. Last year Planters decided to put macadamias in the mixed nuts. Dad was unaware. Mom came home from work and dad said he thought he ate something he should not have. She rushed him to the ER. Mom checked the nut packaging and sure enough....macadamias.

 

[Mermaid02]

I appreciate everyone's input.... Jack did tell me that the teacher spoke to the other kids about this.... I will also add that there is another peanut allergic child in the class.... he does not have to sit at the snack table with ds.

Someone mentioned this being "bullying" and that is how my dh and I see it also. The sandwich wrap in his lunch box I don't think was bullying... but the hands in the lunch box was. This child is a bully.... told my friends daughter last year if she didn't chase him at lunch recess (note: he WANTED her and the other girls to chase him) he would "bash" their heads together. Remember too after he rubbed his hands on the lunch box and contents, he and some other kids LAUGHED at Jack when he got upset and ran to wash his hands.

This is snack time in the classroom...