My Plate is Full

[Hillbeans]

Please do your best to get some help. I think it's time for your DH to talk to his family to make sure they are doing their share. It is totally unfair for everyone to put the burden solely on you. You are a wonderful person to be doing this for your MIL, as I am sure it is hard for you to watch someone you love at the end of her life.

Denae

Couldn't have said it better, Denae.

Hugs to you Kitty.

 

[winniedapooh]

Speaking from someone who has taken care of 3 elderly grandparents until they died... Death and dying can bring out the worst in some people and the best in others. Do the best you can. Get help, if she has the money see if you can get some respite so that you do not get run down. I know that your health can be precarious from your posts. If you are not taking care of yourself then who will take care of both of you?

 

[Serena]

 

[MsDisney23]

Speaking from someone who has taken care of 3 elderly grandparents until they died... Death and dying can bring out the worst in some people and the best in others. Do the best you can. Get help, if she has the money see if you can get some respite so that you do not get run down. I know that your health can be precarious from your posts. If you are not taking care of yourself then who will take care of both of you?

We had a meeting today with Dr. all the family members where there! They did not say to much at all. Mom now needs to be taken just about everyday to the Dr., Therapy, etc. Now I am also expected to this as well. I just can not do it all.

I said you have the sick taking care of the sick.

Dr. told them all with my health and my immunine system, that if Mom is to get as much as a cold, that she can not be near me or in the same house. as it could KILL me! So now the rest of them heard it from the Dr. themselves. They are going to have to help at that is all there is to it. I can only do so much. I do have a housekeeper starting this week. That will be a great help to me! Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Serena]

I don't even know them and they make me angry.

 

[tiggerlover]

I am sorry that you are going through this with little help. {{{HUGS}}}

My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer in June and passed away in July. During the 5 weeks we were aware of his illness help was what was most needed. It is an exhausting job to take care of someone who is ill so if you can hire someone on it will do you a world of good.

My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

 

[Beastlover]

You and me need to belly up to the bar...I have IL's I am also taking care of.



Don't let it ruin your marriage.

 

[Jamesbyr]

Uh, if "she has money" there is no reason not to have full time care. She deserves it.

 

[Serena]

Uh, if "she has money" there is no reason not to have full time care. She deserves it.

Yep, besides, it'll tick off the inlaws.

Didn't the doctor say a massage would be good for her, and you???
How about a hot tub?

 

[Pop Daddy]

My MIL is a Millionaire, and they will get their cut.

Me I can care less about any money,

Ill take your cut

 

[Pin Wizard]

Get the help your MIL needs so you're not responsible for it all. You need your rest, too!

 

[drakethib]

Oh I am so exhausted. This is full time job, I am now taking care of my MIL who has cancer. It is very sad and I am doing the very best that I can. I have hardly any help. DH is doing is best to help when he is home. BIL & SIL have not even called. However they did make it a point to come over the other night and cuss me out, because I asked them for some help! It was terrible the scene they made. We know that they want nothing to do with any of this, etc. My MIL is a Millionaire, and they will get their cut.

Me I can care less about any money, this is a life. I have myself been blessed with a second chance at life. The Dr. does want to see the whole family today. I was not going to go. but have decided it would be better if I do go.

DH is trying to see if we can get some help in here for me, as MIL does have long term care insurance. I am also looking for a cleaning lady. So for now I might not be able to get on The DIS that much. Know that I am doing good and have asked God to help me with this.

There are two ways one can take care of someone

The rightway or the wrongway! Mom is getting the very best of care from me!

Money brings out the worst in families. It happens all of the time. I would have your hubby stop your BIL & SIL at your front door and tell them if they can't respect you in your own home don't even bother coming in.

God will indeed help you through this as you are doing the right thing.

Take care.

 

[MsDisney23]

Money brings out the worst in families. It happens all of the time. I would have your hubby stop your BIL & SIL at your front door and tell them if they can't respect you in your own home don't even bother coming in.

God will indeed help you through this as you are doing the right thing.

Take care.

BIL came this morning to pick Mom up for the day. As he approached the front door , (it is all glass, which I had locked) I held up my finger and with a firm voice said. Wait there, I will get Mom ready. I helped her to the door and he took over, they just called and are bringing her back. I told DH noway are they stepping foot back inside my home!

 

[Dan Murphy]

So sorry to hear this, Kitty. You have done so much, please do not beat yourself down, you need your strength too.

 

[Regina]

I hope that you're able to get Hospice involved. The nurse that was assigned to my mother's case put us in touch with an amazing caretaker who we hired. She moved in and stayed 24/7 for the 10 weeks before my Mom passed away. (On the few occassions that we convinced her that she needed to go home for a break, we took over.)

Knowing that my Mom had an "angel" taking care of her made it so much easier. My sister and I spent as much time there as we could, but we both work.

As the disease progresses, your MIL is probably going to lose her mobility. It's physically demanding taking care of someone whose confined to a bed. If your MIL is cognizant, she may be uncomfortable having a family member providing the type of care that she'll need.

I strongly urge you to look into Hospice. It's amazng what they're able to do.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Heres a bunch of hugs for you Kitty. I have been there and done that except it was with my grandma. Not to mention I had almost died myself a few weeks before and needed more major surgery and had 3 kids under 8. My grandmas other grandaughter and her sister in law refused to help me too in any way shape or form. Bless you for your kind heart for your mil.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I feel for you! My Mom cared for my Dad in his last days of lung cancer. I wish we had gotten some help, but my Parents couldn't afford it. Their insurance only covered $700 of in-home care and that came out to only 5 hours of help a week. I have 2 little ones, one of which is disabled, so I couldn't provide the kind of help they needed either. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. I suggest you look into hospice care.
And, yes death does bring out the worst in people! Even in my own family, my sister and I don't talk anymore after my Dad died. I'm thankful that I know now what a terrible person that she is (she kicked my Mom out because she didn't want to be "burdened").
Just try to keep your distance from your in-laws. Let DH take care of that! God bless you and your family.

 

[4nana]

Kitty {{hugs}}

What a kind and caring soul you are to bring your MIL in your home and take care of her in her time of need. Even tho you love her and feel obligated, I agree, as it seems finances are no problem, please seek all the help you can with the care giving. You have been blessed with a new lease on life and I can't imagine the additional stress being good for you. Best wishes, you and your family are in my prayers during this difficult time.