My Plate is Full

[MsDisney23]

Oh I am so exhausted. This is full time job, I am now taking care of my MIL who has cancer. It is very sad and I am doing the very best that I can. I have hardly any help. DH is doing is best to help when he is home. BIL & SIL have not even called. However they did make it a point to come over the other night and cuss me out, because I asked them for some help! It was terrible the scene they made. We know that they want nothing to do with any of this, etc. My MIL is a Millionaire, and they will get their cut.

Me I can care less about any money, this is a life. I have myself been blessed with a second chance at life. The Dr. does want to see the whole family today. I was not going to go. but have decided it would be better if I do go.

DH is trying to see if we can get some help in here for me, as MIL does have long term care insurance. I am also looking for a cleaning lady. So for now I might not be able to get on The DIS that much. Know that I am doing good and have asked God to help me with this.

There are two ways one can take care of someone

The rightway or the wrongway! Mom is getting the very best of care from me!

 

[Mermaid02]

You're a good person Kitty! Take care of yourself too though!

 

[bballmom56]

I know you mentioned hospice in one of your posts. Check into that and also Visiting Nurse services. They were very helpful for my mom. Check the Long Term Care policy to see exactly what they cover. My mom had one, but it didn't kick in until after the first 100 days in a nursing home. We knew she didn't have that long anyway, so the policy ended up being useless. However, medicare covered the first 21 days and might have covered longer depending on the situation. But at that point, it didn't matter, we would have used mom's funds if we had to, because she needed 24/7 care. Believe me, if you try to do it all yourself, you will become totally overwhelmed mentally, emotionally and physically and setback your own health. It's a shame your BIL and SIL want nothing to do with it, but you can't change people. You have to do what you know in your heart is right. Keep us updated on you and your family.

 

[Honeibee]

 

[luvwinnie]

Please do get help...I don't know all the details, but is Hospice a consideration?

Bless you all.

 

[mickeyboat]

Please do your best to get some help. I think it's time for your DH to talk to his family to make sure they are doing their share. It is totally unfair for everyone to put the burden solely on you. You are a wonderful person to be doing this for your MIL, as I am sure it is hard for you to watch someone you love at the end of her life.

Denae

 

[SC Minnie]

 

[Big V]

You take care of yourself Kitty and do what you have to do to get help!

 

[Blondy876]

God bless you and your family. I know how hard it is, I took care of my grandmother for years. Just remember to take care of youself too.

 

[experiment626mom]

Kitty get some help in. Nurses, hospice whatever it takes to help you out. And make sure you do something nice for yourself every once in a while.

 

[PrincessPatty]

Remember to not forget about taking care of yourself!! Like the other posters have said, someone coming in to help for even a few hours to help would be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders!! Good luck to you, and once again you someone who is very giving and that is commendable to you!!

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Please take care of yourself too. That is a wonderful thing you are doing for you MIL and you will always have the satisfaction of knowing you helped her.

 

[drgnfly30]

The visiting nurses & eventually hospice was a blessing when we were caring for my Dad.

And please remember to take care of yourself...

 

[TDC Nala]

She has insurance and money. If you are overwhelmed, it is not wrong to get some help.

 

[ADisneygirl]

You are doing a commendable thing and it is important to know that. But, even those in the best of health themselves can become quickly burned out when they are the sole caregiver. I have seen it play out with a neighbor friend of mine. Her mom has alzheimers, and has been declining now for a couple of years. Her siblings refuse to help, so she has become superwoman. She is a single parent too. Problem with this is that I see how exhausted she is and I hear how she longs for a day to just sit and do nothing.

You have had medical problems yourself, and taxing yourself this way could hurt you in the long run. Please get your MIL some outside help. It doesn't reflect poorly on you ~ it is doing your whole family a service because then you will be healthy and available for them as well as your MIL.

God blesses the caregivers of the world.

 

[kaylajr]

sent you a PM

 

[Cthia]

You are a very caring woman to be taking care of your MIL. Remember to take care of yourself also.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. My Grandmother was thankful for all the help she got from the Visiting Nurses and eventually hospice with my Grandfather.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

What a sweetheart you are. Definitely get some help!!

 

[Disney Doll]

LTC insurance usually has a provision for homecare. Also, if she is terminal how about home hospice?? Nobody goves you 24 hour/day care, but hospice could send in some, which would give yuo a break. The LTC could also be used to pay privately for some help.

Don';t oyu just love the relatives who won't help but will be there with their hands out when it's time to settle the estate. When my DMIL dioed, one of my DSILs called us everyday, sometimes a couple of times a day, to check on "how things were going", since my DH was the executor of the estate. Once the hwoile estate was settled, we hardly ever heard from her, which is actually not necessarily a bad thing!

 

[Pooh67_68]