My neighbor says he is going to sue us..UPDATE pg 8

[minkydog]

He sounds like a lonely old man. I wouln't worry too much about a lawsuit--anybody can sue anybody for anything, it doesn't mean they're gonna win. I doubt he really has a case--he's simply unhappy. Perhaps you and one or two kids could take him a care basket, or offer to sweep his driveway. And in the meantime, make sure the kids and their things stay in your yard.

 

[dismom9761]

I hereby nominate your neighbor for the 'Idiot of the Year' award.

I would take some cookies over and ask him what his expectations are for the children and a good neighborly relationship.

I am usually the 'tell him to kiss off' kind of person, but when dealing with the elderly sweetness usually pays off. if you already tried the sweet thing tell him to kiss off.

I tried talking to him and giving him my number several times so that he could call me if there are any problems that we could solve together.He said we would solve them in court.

 

[bicker]

BUT, and I really don't mean any offense by this, if you know that your kids are bothering him so much by going on his land and letting their balls go on his land, why aren't you stopping them??? ... There's really no reason for them to be on his property.

This is a great point. You really don't want him to have any legitimacy, especially if you end up having to go up against him. If he can establish that you've neglected to ensure your children cease violating his property, he looks a lot more credible than perhaps he should.

Also, remember, if he doesn't object to your children violating his property, he is responsible if your children get hurt on his property, so it is very normal to put frequent trespassers on notice that they aren't welcome. That's not what there is to be concerned about with this guy. If, on the other hand, he continues to harrass your or your children after they've stopped violating his property, THAT is when you really need to start getting actively involved. You really have a vested interest in getting quickly to the point where he has no legitimate reason to complain about your kids.

 

[amid chaos]

Our friends have a neighbor like this. he would keep the balls and not give them back. Last summer, they bought many packs of Walmart tennis balls...there are about 20-25 to a pack and very colorful...they also have smilie faces on them.
One night, they launched about 200 smilie face tennis balls over the fence into his backyard. Sure did keep us laughing for awhile.
It hasn't been an issue since. I think he realized how silly it was.

Don't you hate a grump?

 

[dismom9761]

He sounds like a real jerk.

BUT, and I really don't mean any offense by this, if you know that your kids are bothering him so much by going on his land and letting their balls go on his land, why aren't you stopping them??? Some people can be really territorial and you never know what they'll do. If those were my kids, they'd learn very quickly that there are consequences to crossing that line. There's really no reason for them to be on his property.

We are doing on our best and the ball doesn't go there every day but their property line is only a foot or two from our driveway.That is where they come in and out and where we get in the car.If they even drop the ball or if the baby runs that is unfortunately what happens.We would love to put up a fence but can't afford it at the moment.They know what the consequences are and they are doing the best they can to only play at the other end of the yard.I am still working on the baby to understand though.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Is there any type of a device that you can get to keep the balls from rolling into his yard since it's so close from your driveway to his yard. I've heard of netting type "fences" that are designed so that balls don't roll from the driveway into the street. Maybe something like that would work.

I would be tempted to have the kids help you make cookies for them, but from the sound of it he will think that you are trying to poison him. Might still be worth a try if you are game.

It would be helpful to know what kind of a man he was when he was younger. Maybe he was a mean spirited younger man then. Or maybe he's having some mental issues now that has caused a change in personality. Or he's just a grumpy old man.

Sounds like a learning experience for your children. They are learning that some people are not friendly and also maybe they can brainstorm some things that they can do to help the neighbor (either ways to keep off his property or some nice things to do for him and his wife).

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Our friends have a neighbor like this. he would keep the balls and not give them back. Last summer, they bought many packs of Walmart tennis balls...there are about 20-25 to a pack and very colorful...they also have smilie faces on them.
One night, they launched about 200 smilie face tennis balls over the fence into his backyard. Sure did keep us laughing for awhile.
It hasn't been an issue since. I think he realized how silly it was.

What a clever way to get your point across in a nonconfrontational (more or less ) way. And I love that the balls had smiley faces on them.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I'd keep your kids out of his yard...you never know what he'd do.
If their toys go into their yard, have them go to his front door, ring the bell, and ask him to retrieve them/ask for permission to get them back.

He sounds like a "set in his ways" old man. He can NOT sue you for "general kid noise". But he COULD get the kids (in some way) for trespassing.

So just cover your butt in that aspect...but otherwise go on with life.

Please, I beg you, don't do this. Many years ago, I lived next door to an older couple who's grandchildren visited constantly. We had an 8 foot fence between the houses that completely encircled our backyard. Every day that they were they I got kids knocking on my door wanting me to retrieve their balls. The first time or 2 I didn't mind it, but along about the 10th time the charm wore off. I started refusing. Once and only once per day would I get that ball. That didn't stop them from banging on the door and windows demanding that I open up. Their parents and grandparents got into the act coming over a dozen times a day demanding the balls back. There has to be some other answer without provoking the wrath of this neighbor every time they ring the bell. This may only make things worse.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

This is the type of portable fence that I mentioned. http://www.kids-safety-klub.com/kidcatcher.html

 

[tiger95]

I agree the guy is being a little grumpy, but he does have the right to his property. I don't think the guy is creepy either, probably just a lonely old man (and woman) who don't have anything else better to be concerned with.

 

[Melrosgirl]

It would be a bogus lawsuit for the most part. One part of me would tell him to go ahead and spend the money on the lawsuit. He'll be out the money and look like a fool. (of course, it would be a headache for you too though.)

what a jerk. I could see him being annoyed with the kids (sorry), but to sue. Grrr.

 

[Microcell]

I'd keep your kids out of his yard...you never know what he'd do.
If their toys go into their yard, have them go to his front door, ring the bell, and ask him to retrieve them/ask for permission to get them back.

He sounds like a "set in his ways" old man. He can NOT sue you for "general kid noise". But he COULD get the kids (in some way) for trespassing.

So just cover your butt in that aspect...but otherwise go on with life.

I may get flamed, but I am a stickler for this too. I want to be asked just once, it is about respect for me.

I lived next door to a family that put a basketball court in thier back yard, right next to my bedroom window. That would be okay if they were not up at 6:30 AM playing basketball every single day and until 10 PM at night, when I had an INFANT!!! They were within the city ordinance, but they didn't have a shred of common decency. So when they came over the fence (without permission, of course), painted my grass white, left things on my property and boxed on thier front lawn, I was so sleep deprived and upset that I took pictures of everything.

All it would have taken to get on the right foot would have been for them to come to my door once and ask to get thier ball with a respectful tone in their voices. I was worse than your neighbor, I used to scream at the kids. We moved, or I would be in jail for assault I am sure.

ETA on the fence thing, I don't think that he can force you to put a fence up, he can do it on his side of the property line. What I considered doing because I didn't have the money for a fence was to put up a tall hedge. Though I sympathize with the old man, he is responsible for putting up a fence.

 

[Patty3]

That stinks! He was a kid and had kids once, too.

Maybe it's time for him to move into some sort of retirement community.

Denae

I agree!

 

[dismom9761]

I may get flamed, but I am a stickler for this too. I want to be asked just once, it is about respect for me.

I lived next door to a family that put a basketball court in thier back yard, right next to my bedroom window. That would be okay if they were not up at 6:30 AM playing basketball every single day and until 10 PM at night, when I had an INFANT!!! They were within the city ordinance, but they didn't have a shred of common decency. So when they came over the fence (without permission, of course), painted my grass white, left things on my property and boxed on thier front lawn, I was so sleep deprived and upset that I took pictures of everything.

All it would have taken to get on the right foot would have been for them to come to my door once and ask to get thier ball with a respectful tone in their voices. I was worse than your neighbor, I used to scream at the kids. We moved, or I would be in jail for assault I am sure.

ETA on the fence thing, I don't think that he can force you to put a fence up, he can do it on his side of the property line. What I considered doing because I didn't have the money for a fence was to put up a tall hedge. Though I sympathize with the old man, he is responsible for putting up a fence.

I can understand why that would bother you.I just want to clarify this.When I say the ball goes in the yard we are talking maybe a few feet into it and a loong way from his house.Also the noise from the kids is from 3:00-5:00 during the week.We are almost never home in the evenings .It is also during the day on the weekends.They are in before dark and never even out before 10:00am or so.My kids are very respectful to both he and his wife .The wife is my son's Sunday School teacher!
That said we have contacted a friend who is a lawyer and if it goes any further he will handle it for us.It will take us a few months to save for a fence.I just hate to feel like we are under a microscope .

 

[disykat]

I've always taught my kids to not go on the neighbor's property, but I've been blessed with neighbors who don't care about the occasional ball or toddler that got away. I don't think it's possible for those type of things not to happen occasionally between neighbors. I would think he'd be much more irritated if your kids DIDN'T retrieve their balls from his yard.

I'm guessing your neighbor is all bluff - and if he's not he won't get anywhere. If his wife is losing sleep it's probably because she is worried about him and how uncontrolable his anger is becoming as he ages. Have you tried just dealing with the wife about this issue?

If they BOTH are upset about the neighbor kids - let them sue. Hopefully some "Judge Judy" will tell them that it's time to consider a retirement community.

 

[MICKEY88]

He has no grounds to sue you on! Unless there is some rule that your neighborhood is an adult only community, he is out of luck.
I would feel a little freaked out if he was taking pictures of my kids. Can he even legally do that?

anyone can legally take pictures of another person anyplace where that person doesn't have a reasonable expectation of privacy.

since they are in his yard, they obviously don't have a reasonable right to expect privacy

 

[DemonLlama]

C'mon, these kids are picking up a ball a few feet from their driveway.

When kids play ball, they don't "catch" them all. That's kind of the point: they are learning while they are playing.

And this makes his wife so nervous she can't sleep at night?

This guy is a crank. Document everything. He obviously won't commmunicate with you civilly since his reply is that you can work it out in court.

I'm sorry you've got such a curmudgeon for a neighbor. That can be so stressful, especially with little ones.

 

[marlasmom]

When we first moved into our NH house, our back yard was a conduit to a short cut to the elementary and middle schools. I was outside one day when a group of kids appeared. One brave boy took off running through the yard. The other kids were shocked and asked if I was going to do anything about it. I said absolutely not. You are welcome to cut through provided you don't walk in my flower beds or tease the dog. They did it for years and we never had a problem. The kids were all respectful and pleasant. My next door neighbor, however, called the police when a kid walked two feet across his lawn. Poor kid was terrified. I don't understand people who are so territorial.

 

[Patch'sD]

If the kids fall and hurt themselves on the man's property, the man is libel. Even though he is being extreme, he has the right to admonish you for allowing the kids on his property. I don't know how much noise your kids make as compared to what was there before you. It may effect their routine of watching TV or something else. I think maybe by telling them you will try to keep them off their property and play a little further from their house may go along way in mending fences.

However, I cringe at the posters that say he should go to the retirement home. This reminds me of a story told to me in grammar school.

"A young married couple had one of their parents living with them, the parent was older and quite a handfull. He kept on dropping and breaking the dishes. The Couple was quite upset and gave the aging parent a metal plate and cup for use with his meals. He was to have his meals in the kitchen as to not spill on the dinning room carpet. One day they came home and their son was making something in the garage. They asked what he was doing. He said that he was making a metal cup and plate for them when they got older. The next evening the entire family had dinner in the dinning room."

 

[disneymom3]

I am thinking I would get a fence just to not have to deal with this guy. It would be worth the expense to get rid of the stress. Just fence along that side.