My neighbor just went off on DD.....

[ez]

we were at her house for a makeup party. There were a few adults and a few kids, well, the other kids left, so dd,9, was sitting on the couch alone. We were in the adjacent kitchen, and I couldn't see her from where I was sitting. Anyway, she started playing with an American Girl doll which apparently was on a chair next to the couch. Then she did the unthinkable, I guess, which was undo the braids in this dolls hair. Man, did my neighbor go off on her! I doubt she has ever been made to feel that bad in all her 9 years. Apparently this doll never had its hair unbraided before.
I try not to be the kind of mother who automatically sides with their kids, so I was wondering if anyone could give me their take on this. Should I let my daughter feel horrible, or should I soften the blow and say that while she should have asked for permission before touching the doll, if it was so important the neighbor shouldn't have left it out like that,and she shouldn't have been made to feel so bad. Would appreciate any comments-thanks

 

[browneyes]

or should I soften the blow and say that while she should have asked for permission before touching the doll, if it was so important the neighbor shouldn't have left it out like that,and she shouldn't have been made to feel so bad.

I'd tell her and the neighbor that.

 

[aahmom1]

Your neighbor shouldn't have 'went off' on your daughter. I can see her being upset, but adults are supposd to have a little control over themselves. I hope she wasn't yelling at your daughter, and if she was, you had every right to step in a tell her to stop.

 

[mamajoan]

ok.. I may be wrong about this..but here goes

American Girl dolls are meant to be played with by children.... jmho.. therefore if one is sitting in a room that was filled with kids.. I would think that it would be ok to play with the doll.......

The doll mentioned was not out of reach, not a porcelaine doll in a case..... so I would assume that it is not priceless.. altho American Girl dolls can be costly...... but geez louise.. why yell at a kid for PLAYING WITH A TOY?? I don't get it.. neighbor had a burr up her behind.. jmho

Was the hair easily re-braided? The doll was not injured in anyway? correct? Therefore.. no harm.. no foul on your dd.

I would tell my daughter that she needed to ask before playing with objects not in a toybox but that you understood why she had played with the doll.. {{Big hug}} no punishment needed or deserved ...... and I would tell the neighbor....
"sorry it upset you to have your doll played with tonight. However, my daughter did not realize that the doll was off limits as it was set out in a room full of children."

say it with a smile.. I would try to not let this affect the neighborly relationship.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow! Joan

 

[kejoda]

Well she shouldn't of touched but your neighbor went to far. Hopefully tomorrow she'll see that and apologize. Keeping your dd away from her might be a good idea too.

 

[janette]

I'll give my opinion as someone who has many collectables and many of them within reach of children.

There are a few times that my kids or their friends have gotten into things and played with them. I collect ornaments and other small things including toys so they are very tempting. The only ones that ever got in trouble were my own kids. They do know what is off limits and they don't have an excuse

I realize that it is the danger of having things out that they might get touched. If it is something important I have it put away. It would be natural for a child unbraid or undress a doll. It might make someone upset and their child might have known better but there is no reason to expect other children to know that a toy is off limits.

She was out of bounds, I'd explain to your DD that sometimes it's best not to touch things in someone's home or at least ask permission. Since she has already been made feel bad enough I'd try to soften the blow.

 

[jamsmom]

I feel sad for your dd. I would try to soften the blow.

 

[Keli]

I would definitely soften the blow. Although your dd should have asked permission before she started to play with a doll that was on display she did not do anything to intentionally hurt the doll and certainly didn't deserve to have your neighbor "go off" on her. That's just taking things too far in my opinion. If your neighbor had just said in a reasonable tone something along the lines of..."This doll was more valuable with her hair left alone and you shouldn't touch things that are sitting out unless you ask first" I'd think she was trying to help your dd learn a lesson. But it sounds like she was just mad and taking it out on your dd which is completely unaccepable to me.

 

[zurgswife]

I agree with everyone else....give your DD a big {{{{HUG}}}}

 

[Pop Daddy]

I would be mad at everybody