My mummy passed away this morning. (Not an update, but some thoughts, post #133)

[manning]

God bless you for all you did and you will have peace for doing everything you could do.

 

[mlittig]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful mother I lost my own mother a little over a year ago on Christmas Eve

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

What beautiful photos. Thank you for sharing them with us, for sharing her.

May she rest in peace, and may you know that no one could have shown their love for their mother more than you have with your love, compassion and caring for her.

I hope you can find some peace, and get some rest.

 

[Sammy]

Oh Ember....I'm so sorry. I've been reading your posts and my heart goes out to you.

 

[pixiewings71]

Oh Ember I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Mummy will always be in your heart, and you are her Hero. (((HUGS)))

 

[zalansky]

I am so sorry Ember. Anyone who has read your posts has had their heart strings pulled and I am no exception. Your posts from the past few days brought me back to losing my mother, I know exactly how you're feeling and I know there are many more here on the DIS who do as well. We're here for you.

You gave your mom a wonderful gift being there as you were at the end of her life. Thank you for sharing her pictures with us.

 

[MinnieTink]

Ember... I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family.

 

[Kathi OD]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you.

 

[portocall]

So sorry for your loss Ember.

 

[tammy]

 

[DisneyFairytale]

So sorry to read the news. My prayers go to you and your family.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Ember, I am so sorry for your loss.

You are in my thoughts & prayers!

TC

 

[Ember]

The past few days have felt very odd. I haven't cried much, but I cried for almost a week solid while she was fading away in the hospital... Right now I think I feel mostly calm and a little sad. I must admit to feeling some relief that everything is over. That she's not suffering or scared or in pain. I also feel some personal relief, because for the past nine months I've been so scared that I wasn't doing things right, or enough. I didn't sleep because I was either up with her trying to help, or listening for her so make sure she didn't fall in the night. I feel a little guilty for the relief I feel, but I also recognize that it's natural to feel it and that it doesn't mean I'm glad she's gone.

The hardest part right now is that everyone wants to talk to me. I appreciate their love and concern so very much, but constantly talking about my mum's final days is hard. Everyone wants details, and they don't seem to realize that talking about it over and over is painful. The conversations require a level of energy and concentration I don't seem to have. Yesterday I actually stopped answering the phone. I will have to call people back, but I just couldn't do it anymore.

We're in the process of making all the necessary calls and arrangements, and that's not easy, either. I think after things are done, after the memorial in Florida, things will change again for me. As my mother's death fades into the background for other people, I think it may become front and center for me. I'm so grateful for DH and my best friends (who were there each and every night at the hospital). I may not be okay now, or even for a while, but I think one day I will be. I have to be, I promised my mummy.

 

[minniebeth]

One day at a time is right. It is a journey and you do what you can when you can. I think people will understand that you need some space and time (at least I hope they would).

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, frankly I htink people who ask for details of someone's last days should be told "They were very difficult, as you would expect. Why would you want the gory details?".

Perhaps when you feel up to it, you could compose a mass email and send it to all the people whose calls you have not been taking to sort of say "Thanks for thinking of us during our difficult time, we feel grateful that we were able to care for Mom and appreciate your support" and be done with it.

 

[1stluvispooh]

Ember,
You don't have to return phone calls to people who want the details!! Renumber there is no wrong way to grieve

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I am so sorry for your loss, Ember.



You grieve in teh manner in which you feel appropriate. I find nothing wrong with how you are feeling.

 

[tink1969]

My condolences.

 

[LoraJ]

I am so sorry.
One day at a time...

 

[piglet50]

please don't feel that you have to call people back. this is the time that you need to handle whatever things that need handling. the arrangements, etc. your feelings are the most important right now. do what's right for you and your dh. your best friends know you will give you whatever you need.

again, i'm sorry for your loss.