Oh, Susan,
I am so sorry.
I know it sounds like a cliche but do know that she is better now. I know it was the only way I've survived these past two years after losing my Mom.
You never really lose Mama. She is always there. You'll hear her when you lecture your kids, you'll feel her arms when you're crying, she'll still chastise you when you're wrong. Mama's are forever because they will always love and protect their kids.
Remember, there will be down times and that's when you can come here to the DIS and find a shoulder who cares.
God bless,
Robnrs