My mother died.

[Julie's Haircut]

Sorry for your loss. You're a great son.

 

[King Schultz]

My mother's doctor called me today.

He expressed his condolences and said what an honor it was to have my mother as a patient and to help me get her to the end and pass the way she wanted, in her own bed with her two dogs sleeping next to her.


I couldn't have fulfilled her wishes without his help, and I was so touched by his kindness. He also filled a couple prescriptions for me which I'd neglected without charging for a visit. He also signed off on her death certificate, which saved me from dealing with the county medical examiner, which I appreciated. All-in-all not a huge expenditure of his time, but it meant the world to me.


I also want to say. . . when I woke yesterday morning and realized my mom was gone, I really didn't know what to do. When my dad passed, we had a hospice nurse who helped with everything, but I was on my own.

I sat with her awhile, then called the local, non-emergency PD number. They sent an ambulance out, but they just confirmed she was gone. Two police officers came too. They both could not have been kinder. They asked some basic questions, but then they sat with me and talked me through what I had to do, and the male officer even hugged me and literately let me cry on his shoulder.

I can't remember their names, but when I feel better about life I'm going to look them up and thank them.


Again, it's just the small things that mean so much in a time like this. Including all the kindness people have given me in this thread.

 

[Pugsly]

I'm so very sorry, Willy.

The man that you are is a wonderful tribute to your mom.

 

[cornflkgrl]

 

[jevs]

My mother's doctor called me today.

He expressed his condolences and said what an honor it was to have my mother as a patient and to help me get her to the end and pass the way she wanted, in her own bed with her two dogs sleeping next to her.


I couldn't have fulfilled her wishes without his help, and I was so touched by his kindness. He also filled a couple prescriptions for me which I'd neglected without charging for a visit. He also signed off on her death certificate, which saved me from dealing with the county medical examiner, which I appreciated. All-in-all not a huge expenditure of his time, but it meant the world to me.


I also want to say. . . when I woke yesterday morning and realized my mom was gone, I really didn't know what to do. When my dad passed, we had a hospice nurse who helped with everything, but I was on my own.

I sat with her awhile, then called the local, non-emergency PD number. They sent an ambulance out, but they just confirmed she was gone. Two police officers came too. They both could not have been kinder. They asked some basic questions, but then they sat with me and talked me through what I had to do, and the male officer even hugged me and literately let me cry on his shoulder.

I can't remember their names, but when I feel better about life I'm going to look them up and thank them.


Again, it's just the small things that mean so much in a time like this. Including all the kindness people have given me in this thread.

Kindness and empathy goes such a long way as is evident in this post. I'm really glad that your mums doctor and the police helped in such a way.

(((Hugs)))

 

[Poohlove]

I just wanted to drop in and see how you are holding up. You are in my thoughts and I can't wait for tomorrow not just because it's Friday but so that you can have family by your side.

 

[loves to dive]

So sorry for you loss Willy, you are in my thoughts. I know you have had a time taking care of her but I also know you will miss her.

 

[punkin]

Don't be afraid or embarrassed to cry. Your tears are a tribute to your mother. {Hugs}

 

[King Schultz]

So sorry for you loss Willy, you are in my thoughts. I know you have had a time taking care of her but I also know you will miss her.

So kind of you.

They'll be here tomorrow evening and I'm very much looking forward to having them here.

I am long divorced and never had kids of my own, so my niece Erin is the closest thing I have,

 

[King Schultz]

Don't be afraid or embarrassed to cry. Your tears are a tribute to your mother. {Hugs}

I went this afternoon to pick up the prescriptions my mom's doctor wrote me and the nurses all came out and expressed their condolences.

I broke down and cried; I wasn't embarrassed for crying, I just wish I could have expressed my appreciation better.

But when things calm down, I will go back and tell them.

 

[xjillianpaige]

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

 

[ronandannette]

My mother's doctor called me today.

He expressed his condolences and said what an honor it was to have my mother as a patient and to help me get her to the end and pass the way she wanted, in her own bed with her two dogs sleeping next to her.


I couldn't have fulfilled her wishes without his help, and I was so touched by his kindness. He also filled a couple prescriptions for me which I'd neglected without charging for a visit. He also signed off on her death certificate, which saved me from dealing with the county medical examiner, which I appreciated. All-in-all not a huge expenditure of his time, but it meant the world to me.


I also want to say. . . when I woke yesterday morning and realized my mom was gone, I really didn't know what to do. When my dad passed, we had a hospice nurse who helped with everything, but I was on my own.

I sat with her awhile, then called the local, non-emergency PD number. They sent an ambulance out, but they just confirmed she was gone. Two police officers came too. They both could not have been kinder. They asked some basic questions, but then they sat with me and talked me through what I had to do, and the male officer even hugged me and literately let me cry on his shoulder.

I can't remember their names, but when I feel better about life I'm going to look them up and thank them.


Again, it's just the small things that mean so much in a time like this. Including all the kindness people have given me in this thread.

Want to talk through any of the details of the arrangements? I spent some time in the funeral business if you have any questions or are wondering about anything. Believe it or not, many people find some temporary relief in having to step outside their emotions for a little bit and focus on all the decisions that need to be made regarding the services.

 

[doodle]

Long time lurker here on the CB...praying for you this evening. I have lost both my parents and boy does it hurt. I am sorry for the pain you are in. You gave your mother such a gift - that she could pass the way she wanted. I'm glad you'll be with family soon.

 

[Happy_Haunt999]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Hrhpd]

Sorry for your loss. So hard to find words for someone who has lost a parent. The grief is intense. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[King Schultz]

Want to talk through any of the details of the arrangements? I spent some time in the funeral business if you have any questions or are wondering about anything. Believe it or not, many people find some temporary relief in having to step outside their emotions for a little bit and focus on all the decisions that need to be made regarding the services.

She made it clear she wanted to be cremated and no kind of service. It isn't true. but she felt there was no one left in her life that cared aside from me and my niece, and she didn't want me to spend the money to have a service. It's in her will, so I will respect that.

Which is fine with me; but she also had a detailed DNR, which stated that nothing was to be done to prolong her life is she had Alzhiemers. And her and I had many conversations about it, so I knew what she wanted.

The past couple weeks she really went down hill; she wanted to sleep all the time, not get out of bed, ate very little, drank very little.

I went to call an ambulance several times, but I'd promised not to do anything to prolong her life if I knew she had Alzhiemers and I did, so I didn't.

I did the right thing, but it was so hard and it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

 

[jevs]

Willy, you did the right thing, and the only thing and that was to respect her wishes. I understand it's easy for me to say, and harder for you to hear, but no guilt xx

(((Hugs)))

 

[Octoberbeauty]

Willy, one thing I've learned since losing my daughter and being on the other side of grief is that EVERYONE, that is with a loved one who's passed, feels some kind of guilt. I've seen it over and over and over again. There's absolutely nothing you could have done different or should have done different. You honored her by upholding her wishes. That's a beautiful thing and I know she would appreciate it. HUGS!!!

 

[King Schultz]

Willy, one thing I've learned since losing my daughter and being on the other side of grief is that EVERYONE, that is with a loved one who's passed, feels some kind of guilt. I've seen it over and over and over again. There's absolutely nothing you could have done different or should have done different. You honored her by upholding her wishes. That's a beautiful thing and I know she would appreciate it. HUGS!!!

Thank you Sherry.

I have a lot to deal with in the next few days, but at some point I promise we'll get together and the drinks will be on me.

 

[Scootypuffjr]

I went this afternoon to pick up the prescriptions my mom's doctor wrote me and the nurses all came out and expressed their condolences.

I broke down and cried; I wasn't embarrassed for crying, I just wish I could have expressed my appreciation better.

But when things calm down, I will go back and tell them.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but with all you're going through you keep thinking of others and talking about how you need to go back and repay the kindness they've shown you (the nurses, the doctor, the police officers).
I think that it's wonderful that you are so kind and so thoughtful of others feelings, it's a testament to your character, but please also take the time and effort to take care of yourself. I know right now there are plenty of things you need to do, but when things start to settle I hope you do what you can to find your happiness...lay on that beach, have that drink, do something just for you. Keeping you in my prayers.