My MIL is Cold Hearted

[vickyBaby]

It's so sad when an animal is unwanted, tossed away...

 

[Pooh93]

This is one of those threads I opened and wished I'd have hit the back button instead of reading it, because stuff like this upsets me so much. The only .02 I'll add is that I think your MIL has issues that go deeper than getting upset over a dog biting a 13 yr old and I don't think cold hearted even scratches the surface on how mean spirited this woman is.

 

[Cheap-n-Dale]

Originally posted by MeanLaureen
Sorry, this will sound harsh, but that was cold hearted, irresponsible and pathetic.

Not harsh but an accurate description of ALL parties involved.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Nicole - I wanted to tell you how sorry I feel for you - obviously you were put in a difficult situation and I am sorry that everyone decided this was a chance to attack your character.

I hope that the people who criticized your decision to give the dog to your MIL never have a child with health problems that can make EVERYTHING in life seem overwhelming and leaving you to take solutions to your problems.

They obviuiosly didn't read that your niece did not live with her at the time or that your MIL lives 4 hours away and driving there was not an option that day and she refused to wait.

we took in a dog one time (and my family is one of those families that can take or leave dogs but my brother LOVED them so we decided to try) she was the sweetest dog to me, my brother mom & sisters but growled at my dad anytime he came near any of us - he is not a dog person but really made an effort with her - taking her on his morning run each day and spending time with her - yet she still growled when he came near us - turn out she was in a home where the husband abused the wife and kids before us and was afraid my dad woudl do the same - she crashed through our screen door twice to get my dad when he was hugging my mom -

obviously she could not stay in our home and we found a new home for her -

my point is - treatment in other homes can change a dog's nature and behavior and I understand your fear of bringing the dog to your house -

It amazes me when I read threads how many perfect people who never made a judgement in error must exist in this world!!

 

[Crankyshank]

Originally posted by julia & nicks mom

my point is - treatment in other homes can change a dog's nature and behavior and I understand your fear of bringing the dog to your house -

It amazes me when I read threads how many perfect people who never made a judgement in error must exist in this world!!

I understood her concern bringing the dog into the house. That's why not only did I offer to take the dog if transport could be arranged, but I also posted a link to beagle rescue. I am not the only one who provided information regarding shelters and rescue. My posts were ignored.

This is a beagle we're talking about. Dogs that are often used for experimentation because of their friendly and trusting nature. This dog could have easily been rehabilitated.

While I understand some dogs cannot be rehabbed and need to be euthanized, I believe that is something that needs to be decided by animal experts and not someone who doesn't want to discipline a 13yr old girl and doesn't feel like keeping the dog anymore.

 

[babar]

I have no comment on why op gave the dog away, it's none of my business, but....I would have been at that woman's house knocking down the door and her to get that dog!!! If you couln't bring it home, you could have brought it to a shelter so it could have had a chance.. you said yourself the dog was provoked....

So you aren't going to talk to her again, fine, but the doggie is still dead.

How could you just let it happen? Sorry, but that's how I feel.

Harsh, but this sickens me.

 

[Tinkbell]

Oh my! Poor dog.

 

[Cheap-n-Dale]

Originally posted by julia & nicks mom
Nicole - I wanted to tell you how sorry I feel for you - obviously you were put in a difficult situation and I am sorry that everyone decided this was a chance to attack your character.

I hope that the people who criticized your decision to give the dog to your MIL never have a child with health problems that can make EVERYTHING in life seem overwhelming and leaving you to take solutions to your problems.

They obviuiosly didn't read that your niece did not live with her at the time or that your MIL lives 4 hours away and driving there was not an option that day and she refused to wait.

we took in a dog one time (and my family is one of those families that can take or leave dogs but my brother LOVED them so we decided to try) she was the sweetest dog to me, my brother mom & sisters but growled at my dad anytime he came near any of us - he is not a dog person but really made an effort with her - taking her on his morning run each day and spending time with her - yet she still growled when he came near us - turn out she was in a home where the husband abused the wife and kids before us and was afraid my dad woudl do the same - she crashed through our screen door twice to get my dad when he was hugging my mom -

obviously she could not stay in our home and we found a new home for her -

my point is - treatment in other homes can change a dog's nature and behavior and I understand your fear of bringing the dog to your house -

It amazes me when I read threads how many perfect people who never made a judgement in error must exist in this world!!

We don't know why she gave the dog away, thats personal. All we know is she gave it someone who has had every dog they ever owned murdered on a whim.

I keep coming back here hoping for an update that the dog was saved. Its making me sick. I think I will go pull my own ferocious beagle out of my sleeping DD4's bed and put her on my lap and read the Virgin Mary grilled chees thread. Maybe that will take my mind off of it.

 

[Crankyshank]

Originally posted by Cheap-n-Dale
I think I will go pull my own ferocious beagle out of my sleeping DD4's bed and put her on my lap and read the Virgin Mary grilled chees thread. Maybe that will take my mind off of it.

One of my ferocious beagles is laying on her back on the den floor next to DH snoring away. The other ferocious beagle is helping me clean the computer room and making sure I don't unearth his buried treasures.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by MeanLaureen
Sorry, this will sound harsh, but that was cold hearted, irresponsible and pathetic.

If people cannot value an animal for what it is - a living, breathing, companion to man - they shouldn't even think of having one in their lives.

One bite to a "child" (and at 13 some girls are as big as adults) that has a history of being abusive to it doesn't a vicious dog make.

I just can't understand why the MIL didn't send the dog to a rescue group or - OP, why didn't you retrieve the dog and take it straight to a rescue group.

Heck, even at the pound it would have had a 7 day chance to find a new family to take him - instead he was put to death.

ITA.

I don't understand it. I can't even wrap my mind around it.

All I know is after I read this thread the first time, I went and hugged my dog. I held him on my lap all evening until I went to bed and he got to sleep in the human bed that night.

I think I'll go do the same now.

I just do not understand how people can just throw a pet away. I just don't understand it at all.

 

[vickyBaby]

Originally posted by Cheap-n-Dale
We don't know why she gave the dog away, thats personal

It's just really really sad. I hope the OP doesn't plan on ever getting another animal since she was unable to keep this one. The end result is heart wrenching.

My ferocious 14 year old Golden is trying to mooch food. He's sort of grumpy now since he is so old, but that doesn't faze me. He is a part of my family.

 

[Aimeedyan]

I'm so sad now. I would have FLOWN in my car to get that baby as soon as I heard her intentions for it's life.

I'm going to hold my own fluffball now.

 

[katerkat]

I am so, so sorry this is how things worked out. I gave a kitty to my parents once, because my landlord found out about him. If my parents decided Oscar was too much of a hassle (over $3K in vet bills and counting in the last year...) I would drive night and day to take him back.

I wish your MIL would have at least gotten him evaluated. My SIL tried everything, including a behaviorist, before deciding to put down her dog. And this was a German shepard mix that attacked both my husband and her boyfriend (unprovoked) before she made the decision. The behaviorist was the one who thought the dog couldn't be rehabbed.

 

[lapinluv]

Originally posted by julia & nicks mom
I hope that the people who criticized your decision to give the dog to your MIL never have a child with health problems that can make EVERYTHING in life seem overwhelming and leaving you to take solutions to your problems.

The point is that she gave the dog to someone she knew put other dogs to sleep. There is also something fishy to the story. OP just seems to be deflecting responsbility and blame at this point. She wanted sympathy, didn't get it and changed her story. She has posted:

She has put every single pet to sleep she's ever had.

My MIL has had animals all through my DH growing up. She didn't put them all to sleep, though.

I know now that we made a horrible decision giving her the dog. I would have never thought she would put it to sleep and that is because the dog means so much to our children.

If the dog means so much to OP's children, then the

I can't take the dog back because of what he might do to my children

doesn't make much sense. OP children are attached to a dog that might seriously harm them if he lived with them?

Also, the last post indicates that OP doesn't know whether or not the dog has been put to sleep yet. It's been five days! Surely, OP or her DH could have made the four hour ride to check on or get the dog. Or, make a plea to the FIL? Or, make a plea to DISers to help out and pick up the dog in OPs absence. Unless the MIL is truly sick, then I'm sure she wouldn't have minded if the dog was taken by someone else, even a stranger.

So, what is it? Obviously the MIL is a bit unhinged. At this point, I'm not sure about the OP. Honestly, leaving the dog on the street would have been a better option for this poor beagle. Someone would have found him and loved him.

And, I'm not even an animal lover...

 

[julia & nicks mom]

OP stated she gave the dog up b/c her child was having health problems - you all are so worried about the dog you didn't care what she psoted about her child -

second - The OP did not put the dog down her MIL did- OP tried to have her husband discuss it with her MIL and failed - her MIL refused to allow anyone do anything but put the dog to sleep - it was out of her control. By the time she could have made the drive - the dog would have already been put to sleep - and if you have kids you can't just always drop EVERYTHING to drive four hours!

Give the OP a break - obviously she agrees that she wished something else could be done - she was willing to go get the dog and her MIL said no - the MIL made the decision and if she is the type of woman who would take this sort of action without exploring options - she is obviously the type of woman who can not be reasoned with - you all know someone like that!

 

[Madi100]

WOW. I've read many, many threads on these boards. I have read where people do stupid, outrageous things. I've read where people have such far off beliefs from what I have that I can't believe people actually think that way. I've read threads about religion. I've read threads about abortion. I've read threads where people admit to having abortions. And, through all those threads I have always, always tried to respect what people believe. I might offer an opinion, but I never call people names or even try to hint that they are horrible people. So, after reading all of the responses here tonight I would like to thank you all for coming to this thread and completely attacking me because of the way you feel in life. I'm certainly glad that the "real world" isn't this cruel to all of us.

Please remain standing if you have led a life where you've only made good decisions? If anyone is still left standing please continue to make me feel horrible. But, please continue to do so in a personal message, because I do believe that personal attacks are against the rules here.

I never came here to get sympathy. That was never my intention. I guess I was just venting. I'll be the first to admit that our decision to give them the dog was wrong. I spent quite a bit of time trying to do something for that dog. I checked out the websites. I got the information for the shelters. I went to the Beagle rescue website and saw that the closest place was Illinois. I saw that person that offered to take the dog. None of that matters if she wouldn't change here mind, which she wouldn't. I'm sorry that I didn't individually thank each person who offered a place for the dog. I had a lot to do that day. I took the information. I appreciate it. And, I am truly sorry that I couldn't do anything. As for driving to get the dog that is a bit hard to do when it is four hours away. and by the time I would have gotten there, it would have been done. I tried to talk to her online, DH tried to call her. She had her mind made up.

I'm really sorry now that I started this thread. I never once asked for sympathy. I never once wanted anyone to come and give me big hugs. I was just sharing something in my life that I thought was really sad. I'm sorry for thinking that coming here was a place where people had compassion and respect.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Originally posted by Madi100
I said in the beginning that it was for personal reasons, and for all you know that reason was because my daughter was severly sick and I couldn't care for the dog. So, I would appreciate it if you would respect me enough not to go into that anymore.

julia & nicks mom - the OP never did clarify why she gave the dog up, just that it was for personal reasons.

To each his own, I guess, but I know that I would have a hard time sleeping tonight or even looking at another animal for quite some time.

Hindsight is 20/20, I hope everyone has learned something from this.

 

[Madi100]

Originally posted by Pete's Mom
julia & nicks mom - the OP never did clarify why she gave the dog up, just that it was for personal reasons.

To each his own, I guess, but I know that I would have a hard time sleeping tonight or even looking at another animal for quite some time.

Hindsight is 20/20, I hope everyone has learned something from this.

Since the REASON for getting rid of the dog is such an issue I will tell you it is because my daughter has asthma. I didn't share that because I believe that there are people who won't care what the reason, just that we got rid is bad enough. The point of this thread wasn't why I got rid of the dog. If you choose not to believe me that is fine. I'm sure that someone will go through this whole thread and find where I have said something that wouldn't agree with my daughter having asthma

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by Madi100
Since the REASON for getting rid of the dog is such an issue I will tell you it is because my daughter has asthma.

The reason for getting rid of the dog wasn't as much of an issue as who you gave it to....somone you said had a history of putting pets to sleep. Another issue was why you couldn't be bothered to drive the 4 hours to save the life of the pet you were so "upset" about.

Hopefully you have at least learned a lesson and won't get any more pets.

 

[lapinluv]

Knowing I'm only adding fuel, but for some reason can't help it....

When DD was born, we had three rabbits. She was deathly ill for her first year. She was in and out of hospitals for months. It wasn't until she was tested for allergies that we realized it was eggs and the rabbits. Instead of giving my rabbits to Elmer Fudd, I researched rabbit rescue organizations and interviewed potential rabbit owners. I found two very good homes for our rabbits (two of them went to one family).

No way do I say I'm perfect or wonderful - far from it - I'm just saying other people were in your shoes and made different decisions. While the point of your post wasn't about you giving up the dog, it was the root cause of the problem you were venting about. So, as far as I'm concerned, it becomes fair game.