My MIL is Cold Hearted

[Madi100]

When our daugther was a year old we got a dog. Our older daughter was afraid of dogs and our younger one liked them. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for us at the time to have him. We were really frustrated with the situation. We were at my MIL's house one weekend, and my FIL fell in love with the dog. So, we decided to let the dog go and live with them. The reasons we let the dog go and live with them are personal, and I won't discuss them, just in case anyone wants to flame me for getting rid of the dog.

Well, my MIL IM's me today to let me know that she is putting the dog to sleep this afternoon because he bit my niece. My niece lives with them and she is 13 years old. I don't like to let this niece around my children because she is just mean. When my daughter was one and my niece was seven my niece pushed her off the bed just to be mean. She's just an aggresive child. I've seen her with this dog, and I know that she is rough with the dog. The dog is very good natured. When he was a puppy he was very kind and good natured with our children.

So, because the dog bit someone ONE time, she is putting him to sleep. I'm so upset with her. I called my husband at work and told him I may never talk to her again. She has put every single pet to sleep she's ever had. I thought this one would be different because my FIL really fell in love with him when he saw him.

She told me to tell my children that he has just gone to live with someone else. I told her I don't know what I'm going to do because I dont' lie to my children. The last thing she said to me is

"he is going to a new home, pet heaven to live with GOD."

 

[CheshireVal]

That's horrible. Can't you take the dog back to your home just until you can find a more loving home for him?

I wouldn't be able to stand by and watch this happen.

 

[Madi100]

Yes. I'm sure that I will talk to my husband more at lunch. My daughter will be devastated if this happens.

 

[MosMom]

I would go take the dog today and find it another home. I wouldn't allow her to put the dog to sleep.

 

[kimwim8]

I agree, that is horrible, and I don't think I'd be able to talk to her again either. Where is your FIL? Doesn't he stand up for the dog?

I agree with the pp, and I would take the dog back until you find a home for it (if you can).

 

[Mom2Ashli]

I have to say I would go and get that dog so fast and find it a better home. How in the world can she just put dogs to sleep. I had to put my Greyhound down this past May for Cancer and it killed me.
Don't understand how people can be so heartless when it comes to pets.

 

[Christine]

You need to take this dog back. Your MIL is a WITCH and shame on your FIL for not standing up to her.

I agree that it is trouble when a dog bites; however, some animals are just pushed to it. Please take the dog back and, maybe try to work it out in your family so that you are all comfortable with the dog. Poor thing.

 

[Royalbear]

That is coldhearted. I would try to get the dog back and find it a new home. Remember, though, you have to disclose that the dog bit a child (no matter how rotten the child).

I go to a parenting website and most of the parents on the website say that if a dog bites once, they will get rid of it. (not necessarily put it to sleep).

However, it is your MIL's dog now. I guess she can do whatever she wants.

 

[mudnuri]

Let me ask you if your thoughts would be different had it been your daughter who was bitten instead of your neice?

A dog that bites- regardless of anything is does not belong in a family with children.

Now dont get me wrong- we're animal lovers here- have a dog, cat and hamsters. I grew up with dogs, cats bunnies, horses etc.. HOWEVER I must say that in my house- if a anyone was bitten by the dog- the dog would be put to sleep.

We were very careful about the breed of dog we got, making sure it was a family type dog- for instance, our dog is a yellow lab.

That being said- I can understand where your MIL is coming from. There is NO way that I would ever keep a dog that bit anyone, and further more I dont think I'd give it away- knowing that somewhere down the line- it could end up back with a family with young children, and bite another child.

Just my .02 for what its worth (and since the banks are closed, it aint much!)

Brandy

 

[kidzmom3]

In my town, if the bite had been treated at the emergency department, it is automatically reported to the animal control officer. they investigate and decide if the animal is a threat, if the animal is in an unsafe situation, or if it was a one time thing. You must then follow their directions.

 

[Christine]

Brandy,
I'm not going to "totally" disagree with you because for the most part you are right, but very few dogs can ignore taunting. Even the best dogs might eventually bite. And you know, dogs can be very understanding and forgiving to children. But, to a dog, a 13 year old no longer "looks" like a child and the dog can be very threatened.

I once owned a dog that was the sweetest thing. I would never dreamed it would bite. Then, one day, a neighborhood girl kept coming up to my dog and teasing it. She was on my property. In fact, the dog was in the house; however, the screen was removed from the door because it was being repaired. This girl kept coming up to the door and throwing things in at my dog. I kept asking her to leave (could not find her parent either). Finally, later in the day, my dog was eating and the little girl came up to the door, stuck her hand through, and attempted to take my dog's food bowl. My dog snapped at her. Fortunately, it did not break the skin, but I did report it. They let me keep the dog based on the circumstances (I was living on a military base). I went on to have two children with my dog in this family. The kids rough housed with the dog, rolled all over it and the dog never bit again. So, considering that the OPs niece has aggression issue, I don't see how the dog should be punished for this. I do think the dog needs to go (or the niece!!). The situation there will not change and, most likely, the dog will bite the niece again.

 

[LoraJ]

I would go there and get the dog and find it a new home. Probably one that has no kids.

I hate when pets are put down for something that is in their nature to do.

 

[Deb in IA]

Very sorry to hear this, Nicole.

Is there any way you could take that dog to the Animal Shelter? I'm sure there's a family around here who would love to have your dog. . .

 

[phamton]

I disagree that any dog that bites once should be put down. No one ever mentions that if a cat bites someone or scratches them. If the dog is not aggressive and is otherwise good-natured, I would not put him down.

All animals will bite if taunted, even easy going dogs. Cats bite and scratch, horses bite or kick, hamsters bite, birds bite, etc.

I also have a Lab. My dog tried to bite the vet once when the dog was shot by a neighborhood teenager and was in pain. It was totally out of character for my dog. When a dog is hurt or abused by someone, it is only normal behavior for them to fight back.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by phamton
No one ever mentions that if a cat bites someone or scratches them.

I've never heard of anyone killed, disfigured, or taken to the emergency room for a cat bite.

To the OP, why would you give your dog away to a person who had a history of putting animals down? You also knew that your "mean" neice was around the dog and played rough with him.

If the dog is being put to sleep, why don't you take him back if you feel so bad about it?

 

[Madi100]

Originally posted by Bojangles
I've never heard of anyone killed, disfigured, or taken to the emergency room for a cat bite.

To the OP, why would you give your dog away to a person who had a history of putting animals down? You also knew that your "mean" neice was around the dog and played rough with him.

If the dog is being put to sleep, why don't you take him back if you feel so bad about it?

The reason we gave it to them is because, unlike the other pets, this one was for my FIL. My MIL is the one who enjoys putting them to sleep. So, we didn't think it would be an issue.

Plus, my niece just went to live with her a year or so ago when she was taken away from her mother.

 

[robinb]

Not all dogs that bite should be put down. I had a dog that was very easy-going and liked kids ... so we thought. She nipped at a child who was crawling on her, but at 100 pounds that nip broke the skin. The bite was reported and we paid all the medical expenses for the child. We didn't put the dog down, but we never trusted her around children again. We had our DD about 5 years after the incident. Although we never had a problem with the dog and other children or our DD we never left the dog alone with my DD.

You may not be able to trust the dog and the dog may not fit into your family because he is a proven biter. Your older DD may be even more afraid of him at this point. Dogs sense fear and some of the more dominant dogs will become more agressive toward fearful people.

If the dog is a purebred, a breed rescue will probably take him and find an appropriate home for him. Otherwise, the humane society will do their best.

Good luck!

 

[MB MinnieGirl]

I am so sorry.

I agree with the others who have said they would go and get the dog (if that's possible for you) and try and find him another home. To put an animal down because it bit once when provoked is insane! Does your FIL have an opinion on this? I just wandered since you mentioned that he was so in love with the dog. I also wanted to say that I respect the fact that you told her you would not lie to your children about this.

Keep us posted on what you decide to do. Pixie dust coming your way.

Bojangles - just wanted to say that indeed a cat can seriously harm, and disfigure a person to require an ER visit. We had a cat (he was mine for 17 years) who freaked out at very loud noises (blown whistles). He attacked a family member who was taunting him with a whistle on purpose! She had to have stitches. He jumped her, bit her neck, and shreded her shirt cutting through to her skin with his back claws. We did not put him down, nor did the family member want us to. He was acting as though he was being attacked beacuse he was being taunted. So cats can cause serious injury also.

 

[Madi100]

Originally posted by robinb
Not all dogs that bite should be put down. I had a dog that was very easy-going and liked kids ... so we thought. She nipped at a child who was crawling on her, but at 100 pounds that nip broke the skin. The bite was reported and we paid all the medical expenses for the child. We didn't put the dog down, but we never trusted her around children again. We had our DD about 5 years after the incident. Although we never had a problem with the dog and other children or our DD we never left the dog alone with my DD.

You may not be able to trust the dog and the dog may not fit into your family because he is a proven biter. Your older DD may be even more afraid of him at this point. Dogs sense fear and some of the more dominant dogs will become more agressive toward fearful people.

If the dog is a purebred, a breed rescue will probably take him and find an appropriate home for him. Otherwise, the humane society will do their best.

Good luck!

The dog is a purebred beagle. There are no papers on him, though.

I would love to take the dog back, but I would be really scared with my three year old and seven year old.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by Madi100



My MIL is the one who enjoys putting them to sleep.

How could you not think it was an issue if she's had a history of putting pets to sleep?