My Little Boy is Leaving!

[MIGrandma]

My son is 33 years old, has lived next door to us for about 12 years. He had a great job as a salaried production manager of a local auto parts manufacturer for several years. The last couple years he was there things changed and he started hating it, so started looking for a new job. He was hired to be manager of a Netflix hub and even though he had to drive an hour each way he liked it. Then. The economy went bad, and Netflix did some downsizing and he ended up losing the job.

He had a couple part-time jobs over the spring/summer months, but nothing has opened up in his field. Michigan has a 15% unemployment rate so it's tough to find anything.

So, he decided to go to truck driving school (he has some experience driving the big tractor-trailers) and he has been hired by a company to do long hauls over the lower 48 states.

I'm having a difficult time with it, because I'm so spoiled in having him living right next door. Seeing him and his kids often. And now he will be gone for weeks, if not months, at a time and is even considering letting the house go (he rents).

I know he has to do what's right for him, I truly understand that and am not interferring with his decisions at all. But how do I deal with the sadness, and knowing that I'm going to be missing him so much? How do you parents deal with having your adult children living so far away from you?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd is off at college right now and while not the same thing as you, I look at it as they are doing what they need to do.

I would much rather sit back and miss them, than have them sitting at home stagnant or in your case unemployed. That can lead to some serious depression.

And I think filling your time with something else helps. Volunteer, take on a new hobby, exercise, etc...Find something that is outside of yourself. Look at it as a growth opportunity.

 

[Jennasis]

OP, I moved from NY to NC over 6 years ago. I come froma very close-knit Italian family where everyone lives within 20 miles of each other and sees each other almost every day.

My mom just about had a nervous breakdown when i moved. She still isn't happy about it. Drove my DH crazy when she would "guilt" me (always following it up with "you know I'm kidding"...she wasn't).

You probably won't get over missing him. He IS your son. But please do tread lightly here. You sound like you have your head in the right place (while your heart is probably a bit broken). NEver make him feel bad or guilty. Respect his choices even if you don't like or agree with them.

 

[4nana]

My heart goes out to you , we have 4 children ~ 2 live close, 2 lived cross country for yrs., one being military. Thankfully, the 2 out of staters have moved back closer to home on the east coast within 5–6 hrs. For us that’s as good as it gets and we’ll take it!!!

Believe it or not, in time you will learn to adjust…as you already know, we must for our own well being. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing our children spread their wings and blessed with the security and happiness having a good career of doing their heart desires.

There are many ways to stay involved: phone, email, web cams, packages, photos, etc. that all help a lot. I try to keep myself busy, still work P/T doing home daycare to fulfill my nurturing kick, have several hobbies, a close knit family, also DH and I enjoy traveling. Best wishes to you, also your DS and family on his new career.