My In-laws are worse than your In-laws!

[Mkrop]

My in-laws came here and slept here to watch our kids for us once as we had an out of state wedding. We left Friday morning and came back Saturday night so they were here Friday most of the day, Friday night and then went home Saturday night when we got back.

I came back to find that she "fixed" all my kitchen cabinets - she had taken everything out and put it where she felt everything should be. She said it was very difficult for her to cook in my kitchen with everything in the wrong spot so she spent hours fixing it Friday so she'd have an easier time cooking for the "rest of their stay". Not one single item in my kitchen was in the spot it was in before I left. I had to spend hours that Sunday to put everything back where it belonged. She totally rearranged my pantry too and I am very anal about my pantry.

What is it with some ILs and the cabinets? Shortly after I had DS13, MIL came down to watch him for me, I think it was work related but I cant remember. I came home, he was napping, she was studying, she was back in school.

I asked her how the day went , she said good, and I resisted the urge to rearrange your cabinets..they make no sense

Why do you care woman???????

 

[disneywatcher]

Hew had been having trouble with dandruff for years and I offered to help him out as I had once had issues with it growing up. Went and bought the shampoo myself and scrubbed his scalp..all per his request because he was tired of it.

 

[tlbwriter]

I know some will disagree with us asking them to not come until the next day but it was the hardest thing I never had to do...

No, the thing I disagree with is you giving up your place for these people instead of saying "Sorry, we need to be here with our child... you'll have to come back tomorrow, as we asked."

 

[Erin1700]

Here are some more of my stories,

1) My MIl sways when she stands. Back and forth like if you were holding a baby. I swear it has something to do with her drinking. It drives me bananas!

2) She puts lottery tickets in my kids holiday cards.

3)Her idea of dressed up is a clean beer shirt and jeans.

 

[Swank]

Hew had been having trouble with dandruff for years and I offered to help him out as I had once had issues with it growing up. Went and bought the shampoo myself and scrubbed his scalp..all per his request because he was tired of it.

Ok, that makes more sense.

 

[LilyWDW]

Here are some more of my stories,

1) My MIl sways when she stands. Back and forth like if you were holding a baby. I swear it has something to do with her drinking. It drives me bananas!

Not standing up for a MIL, but I do this too. I have never had a child so it's not from that. I just find myself swaying back and forth like that without even realizing it!

 

[RachaelA]

Here are some more of my stories,

1) My MIl sways when she stands. Back and forth like if you were holding a baby. I swear it has something to do with her drinking. It drives me bananas!

2) She puts lottery tickets in my kids holiday cards.

3)Her idea of dressed up is a clean beer shirt and jeans.

I grew up getting lottery tickets in birthday and christmas cards. We all loved it as children (and still do as adults!). DH thinks its the greatest thing ever because he loves to scratch them!

 

[HelenePA]

No, the thing I disagree with is you giving up your place for these people instead of saying "Sorry, we need to be here with our child... you'll have to come back tomorrow, as we asked."

ya know I tried... then we'd feel bad for not letting them know how she was, dh would go out to tell them and one of them would come in it was a never ending cycle of this.. and thats exactly why I didn't want them there... my family came down later in the day after everything had calmed down and I called them (by then my nerves were shot and I was ready to kill his family, I needed backup) .. so instead of 2 of us being there there were now 8 people who all wanted turns to see her.. we wanted everyone to come in shifts.. some one day some the next and so on.. to make it easier on her and us.. but no... what do we know we are just the parents.. we knew what it would be like.. It happened 10 years ago.. I should let that go huh?

 

[GettingFuzzy]

Here are some more of my stories,

1) My MIl sways when she stands. Back and forth like if you were holding a baby. I swear it has something to do with her drinking. It drives me bananas!


3)Her idea of dressed up is a clean beer shirt and jeans.

Mine too. For my MIL it does have to do with her drinking, because, seriously, if she's blinking, she's drinking! She also has two favorite sentences, "I took and tole you". (Yes, she says that. ) and "I have something Ima tell you right now." My DH and I have started saying it with her at this point since it's the only way she knows how to start sentences.

 

[rszdtrvl]

MIL has been a total joy during her vacation with my husband - her son - (wish you could note the sarcasm in my voice...)

I think the last straw was when she cussed out DH today while she was talking to TSA at the airport.

I am sure he will have multiple stories to tell me when he gets home this evening. I have heard some of them already, but I am sure he has not told me all of them.

I will be surprised if he ever talks to his mom again.

Why does she have to be so cruel and selfish??

 

[C.Ann]

Just wanted to pop back in for a minute and thank those who tried to answer my questions about the IL problems..

It could be that I'm not here enough anymore to realize that when I see numerous threads started about yet another in-law problem, it's actually the same posters who tend to start threads about it on a regular basis and I'm thinking it's new ones.. (I don't pay much attention to user names..)

We've all been pretty lucky in that regard - with a few exceptions - so I suppose that's why it puzzles me when I read that kind of stuff..

Whatever the case may be, good luck! Maybe one day things will get better..

 

[castleview]

My MIL ran up a $7,000 credit card in my husband's name.

 

[Jennasis]

My MIL ran up a $7,000 credit card in my husband's name.

MIL did that to my DH when he was in college. about $25K.

 

[TaraPA]

My MIL ran up a $7,000 credit card in my husband's name.

So did mine, and it was over 25 years ago & we have never EVER been able to get if off our credit report. There are so many things I could have had MIL arrested for, I was just too young & dumb to actually do it. For that, or the time she forged DH's siganture as a co-signer for a car loan (that she defaulted on) - but FIL fessed up on that one so we were cleared....the time when she pulled my bathing suit top off in front of about 25 people & thought it was hilarious - seriously - wouldn't that be sexual harrassment & grounds for calling the cops?!?! All the times she provided the alcohol for DH & his underage friends so they could party. I wish I had the guts to do it back when it happened. Just this year, after the falling out in September, we got a notice in the mail that the savings accounts she had set up for my kids in her credit union, were closed. Funds withdrawn. I guess technically I can't do a thing, she opened them & had herself listed as the guardian, so she was free to do what she wanted - but really - to me that was stealing from her grandkids. Oh I need to stop or this will go on all night....

 

[Buckeye Princess]

I lucked out in the in law department. I love my inlaws and actually feel bad because I feel more in common with them than with my own family.

My poor husband did not luck out like me, my family are THOSE inlaws sometimes.

The worst was with DS's baptism. DD was baptized in the same religion as my family, but we chose my SIL and BIL as the godparents. (This was allowed because BIL was my religion and properly confirmed.) We picked them because unlike my sister they are mature and good role models. The excuse we gave my family was that they were engaged and we thought it'd be nice to have a couple. (My sister is 25, has not ever had a real job, barely got through school, sits and watches TV all day, etc etc etc)
Then DS was born and the expectation that I make my sister a godmother was there. I decided fine since it meant a lot to her and regardless of who was godmother in name, my children would have good role models in many places. Well turned out my lazy sister had never been confirmed. Well my entire family pushed the idea of having DS baptized in DH's faith because then my sister could be a godparent. No big deal right? Well my entire family is VERY religious. They basically believe that if you are not baptized in their faith then you will go to hell. (I do not share this feeling.)

So basically they said that not hurting my lazy sister's poor feelings was more important than my son's SOUL!!!

I guess I've got a date with the devil too because I'm sure I broke some commandments when complaining to DH.

Speaking of commandments it seems like lots of these ILs are breaking my personal commandment. "Thou shalt THINK". Simple, but really would solve so many problems.

 

[Erin1700]

I grew up getting lottery tickets in birthday and christmas cards. We all loved it as children (and still do as adults!). DH thinks its the greatest thing ever because he loves to scratch them!

My son is too young to understand what they are so I have told her to just put $1.00 in his, but of course she doesn't listen.

 

[Jennasis]

Well, MIL strikes again. She called DH at WORK to try to goad him into a fight (about how awful we are for cutting her out of our lives). So DH took the advice of our therapist and laid it all out for her with both barrels. How awful she is, all the terrible thing she has said and done, and the exact reasons why are no longer speaking with her. She hung up on him.

Yay.

I'm sure she will try to call back. She can never just let a hang up be a hang up. DH will answer only to tell her to never call him at work again.

 

[Magic Mom]

My inlaws aren't perfect, but that's OK, neither am I. But MIL has said some funny things from time to time. When she was describing how beautiful BIL's "dancer" girlfriend was she said to me.."Now you and (ex SIL) are both beautiful in your own way, but "dancer" is STUNNING!Gee thanks MIL...way to make a girl feel good.

And she still calls my son the wrong name and he is 20. And she'll interupt me telling her about DD's horse shows or school accomplishments to tell me stories about her friend's grand daughters and how great they are. She's special like that. We live far....far away.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

So did mine, and it was over 25 years ago & we have never EVER been able to get if off our credit report. There are so many things I could have had MIL arrested for, I was just too young & dumb to actually do it. For that, or the time she forged DH's siganture as a co-signer for a car loan (that she defaulted on) - but FIL fessed up on that one so we were cleared....the time when she pulled my bathing suit top off in front of about 25 people & thought it was hilarious - seriously - wouldn't that be sexual harrassment & grounds for calling the cops?!?! All the times she provided the alcohol for DH & his underage friends so they could party. I wish I had the guts to do it back when it happened. Just this year, after the falling out in September, we got a notice in the mail that the savings accounts she had set up for my kids in her credit union, were closed. Funds withdrawn. I guess technically I can't do a thing, she opened them & had herself listed as the guardian, so she was free to do what she wanted - but really - to me that was stealing from her grandkids. Oh I need to stop or this will go on all night....

For the kids' savings account, you actually MAY be able to do something!! If they were set up as a "PUGMA" (Pennsylvania Uniform Gifts to Minors Act) or "PUTMA" (PA Uniform Transfer to Minors Account) and if she was the custodian of that account, she has to answer to the state for any withdrawals made. The withdrawals must be used towards the benefit of the kids (clothes, school, camp - I believe are some valid reasons). Until the kids are 14, you as the parent can press for an accounting of the funds. If the kids are over 14, they can request info from the trustee/guardian of the account themselves.

Even if MIL was the only one who made deposits, once she made a deposit to a PUGMA/PUTMA account that money was no longer hers even if she is the guardian or trustee of the account.

Do you know how much was in the accounts?

 

[It'sWDW4me]

Well, MIL strikes again. She called DH at WORK to try to goad him into a fight (about how awful we are for cutting her out of our lives). So DH took the advice of our therapist and laid it all out for her with both barrels. How awful she is, all the terrible thing she has said and done, and the exact reasons why are no longer speaking with her. She hung up on him.

Yay.

I'm sure she will try to call back. She can never just let a hang up be a hang up. DH will answer only to tell her to never call him at work again.

Good for DH!!! She didn't care too much to be called out on her stuff did she?

Maybe things will change if she realizes that DH is serious about not dealing with her BS anymore? I hope so.