My husband passed away last May, and I have wanted to go to Disney World to cheer myself up

[DaphneCat]

Hi, everyone. Disney World has truly been one of the happiest places for me. Even the last time I went with my husband in 2016, it brought out the same type of joy and feeling of well-being that I had as a child. Bless my husband's heart,he wanted to go to the beach instead (so we did go to Fort Lauderdale after I had my childhood fun in Orlando). Last year, my formerly healthy 51-year-old husband got sick and died suddenly right in front of me in our house on May 28, 2020. It was a miserable summer, but I kept wanting to escape to Disney World for a week and try to find something to look forward to. But my family and friends said it wouldn't be a good idea because we were in the quickly escalating pandemic with no vaccine in sight. So with work and feeling physically and mentally exhausted much of the time, I only thought about it once in a while. But believe it or not, I often had dreams of being at Disney World (especially my favorite ride The Haunted Mansion). I'm going to be 50 at the end of summer, so I feel a little silly for thinking about Disney World as much as I have this past year. I have really been thinking about booking a hotel near Disney which is a resort and taking a road trip down there by myself (listening to my beloved audio books as I drive). I don't know why I have had such a strong desire to do this since my husband died. Maybe because it felt like my life was over when he died and I couldn't save him. I think I just need to reconnect with my inner child and pamper myself with happy experiences. I do feel a little nervous about going by myself, but after losing my husband, I really need a break from the heaviness of the past year. I do feel a little silly because not many newly widowed women approaching their 50th birthday take off by themselves to Disney World. But I have a feeling people on this forum might be able to relate to the need for nostalgic joy. Thanks, Disney Lovers!

 

[goofyernmost]

I can't tell you how to feel but, WDW is a place of fantasy where what isn't real is real. I have gone in good times with my wife and kids. I have gone with my grownup children and their kids, I have, for the last 20 years, gone alone. Just to get my Disney fix. I am a whole lot older then you as I will be 73 in a couple of months, but when my wife and I broke up, shortly after our last child married and left the nest, it was an awful time for me. Everything I had worked for and everyone I had worked with was gone and I was left to try and figure out my future.

I remember going about a year after the family broke up, sitting on a bench near the city hall and just thinking about the past and what I was missing and how much things had changed. I played in my head all those happy times we explored WDW as a family, the road trips we took from Vermont and the fun we all had even getting there. I started to be a complete bummer for me. So I thought, well, lets do some of the things that I really enjoyed early on and see if I can pull myself out of this funk. The first place I went was to the Carousel of Progress. When we first went to that in 1983 the theme song was "Now is the time, now is the best time, now is the best time of your life" and my friend it was indeed, but that was then and this was now. This time, I hadn't realized that CoP had gone back to it's original song which was "It's a great big beautiful tomorrow, shining at the end of everyday" to my surprise I got the message, I left that simple little show and made some decisions about my future and where I wanted it to go. It was so much relief, I can't tell you. All at once I was able to enjoy the past, accept the present and look forward to the future. That has always been what the Disney magic was for me. From the joy and happiness of my original visits, to the melancholy start of that particular trip to feeling optimistic and filled with hope for the future. Sounds simple and stupid I realize, coming from a man that is as curmudgeon as they get, but it worked. Maybe it will help you as well.

 

[DaphneCat]

Thank you so much. It is not stupid at all...it's wonderful! I am sorry you have been through all of that, and I am glad that you were able to find some joy and hope from that trip.I remember that Carousel of Progress from when I was a little girl! Thanks for bringing back that memory...I loved that! I have actually just booked a hotel (of course one that offers shuttle service to the parks). I'm going in May when I can have some time off. A friend of mine from work maybe going on the road trip as well. I am looking forward to going back there. I think it's just what I need. Thanks so much!

 

[Cynophilist]

I don't have much to contribute, but offer my condolences. I say you go for it-take that Disney trip!! Take it in your husband's honor, in his memory. Give yourself a well-deserved trip full of self care and do all of the things you enjoy! Eat dessert for breakfast, visit the hotel spa...you've earned it!!! xoxo

 

[TheEnforcer92]

Sorry to hear that and you have my condolences.

Agreed with everyone above, go for it. I'm sure he would want you to enjoy that time and be able to make those memories in his honor! If WDW is your happy place do what you can to make it happen

 

[Heather07438]

Sounds like a wonderful adventure!

 

[goofyernmost]

Thank you so much. It is not stupid at all...it's wonderful! I am sorry you have been through all of that, and I am glad that you were able to find some joy and hope from that trip.I remember that Carousel of Progress from when I was a little girl! Thanks for bringing back that memory...I loved that! I have actually just booked a hotel (of course one that offers shuttle service to the parks). I'm going in May when I can have some time off. A friend of mine from work maybe going on the road trip as well. I am looking forward to going back there. I think it's just what I need. Thanks so much!

I'm glad that you understood what I was trying to convey. We cannot alter the past, but we can exercise at least a little control of our present and our future. Have a great time and remember... It's a great big beautiful tomorrow!

 

[luvthatmouseinohio]

I am so sorry for your loss. Life is so unpredictable and for so many of us our lives don’t work out as we planned. It’s a cruel reality that life goes on regardless of our losses, but it does, and we have to find ways to cope and put ourselves back together. It’s wrong of anyone to tell you how you should do that. Listen to your heart. Trust yourself. If going to Disney will bring you joy, then do it! It is a wonderful place to escape our everyday realities; I think that’s why I love it so much. I hope you have an amazing time my fellow Disney friend

 

[Sara W]

I can't send you a DM because you don't have enough posts yet, but I feel this need to talk to you. First, I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. It's a fear of mine because my husband works so hard. Your husband passed away on my birthday, and that similarity is making me feel this connection that I'm meant to reach out.

I escaped to Disney by myself a couple of times this past year (always listening to Audible on the drive). Similar to you, I needed to get back to that inner child that has fun again, Disney was the trip that could give that to me. I didn't realize how much I needed to do it to find myself again. Everyone heals in their own way, there is no right or wrong. Please don't deny yourself what your gut is telling you. I'm feeling a need for a solo trip again myself, but my brain and my gut are fighting about it. I know I could use someone telling me to just do it, so I hope I can be that person for you!

 

[notatallmagic]

I am truly sorry for your loss. And what wonderful, kind people have responded here!

Your post resonated with me as well - I am a 53 year old single mom. Our family has had some very dark times in the past 15 years. As a 7 year old, I visited Disney World with my precious grandparents, and have vivid and beautiful memories of Small World and Carosel of Progress. Right before our family imploded about 14 years ago, we visited Disney, and my exH behaved very badly. The only thing my daughter remembered about that trip was a magical interaction with Mulan; and her mommy (me) crying alot.

Fast forward a few years, and we had gotten back on our feet financially, and I planned a trip to Disney. My daughter said "we can only go if you promise not to cry". And I didn't - and it was truly magical.

Over the next decade, we saw some realy ugly stuff - and I remember asking a counselor "Is it OK that we go to Disney to escape?" and she affirmed that it was a very healthy way to deal with grief and pain. Even now, with a 15 and 18 year old, we LOVE listening to Disney park music, planning and enjoying our Disney trips. This last two years has seen the death of my sweet mother and a near fatal diagnosis for my daughter - and so we purchased Annual passes, budgeted carefully, and soaked in the magic. It truly is healing for your soul.

Blessing on your journeys. There are so many small, simple beauties built into the Disney experience - lights, music, colors, flowers (Flower and Garden is breathtaking!). Yes, there is some nostaligic pain in some memories, but creating new moments and joys for yourself can be very healing. Peace to you.

 

[cedricandsophie]

I would definitely go if you cherish those memories. For me, I would take a cruise alone, because that is our favorite vacation.

 

[RoseBen009]

I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband. You should never feel silly for thinking about the things that bring you happiness! And, you're definitely not alone in finding happiness thinking about Disney World-I love visiting these forums for that very reason! I hope you go and have the best time

 

[misonrisa]

First of all so sorry for your loss. Disney is a wonderful place to escape our everyday realities and it is also a place that helps us re-charge, re-focus, and re-group. Go and take your time doing whatever feels right at the time. If you think you would like to meet others, post your travel dates. I am sure you will in no time have many of us available to meet you. Take care.

 

[DaphneCat]

Hi, everyone! I am really touched by your kind and encouraging messages! I appreciate those of you who shared how a trip to Disney healed you through tremendous losses and heart breaks. I want to reply to each of your posts individually as soon as I can. I'm truly excited because I am going to Orlando. I hit the road May 15th and will stop for the night on my way down. The only downside is that Magic Kingdom is closed in May unless.you have an Annual Pass. I was very sad to see that, but I am still happy to go because this time I will get to take my time in Epcot (2 days). I will check in to my hotel (Gaylord Palms) on the evening/night of May 16th. On Monday the 17th, I'm going to chill and enjoy the hotel itself (all the pools and the beautiful indoor gardens). Tuesday the 18th, I'm going to Discovery Cove (never been). I also booked a swimming with the sharks experience (my husband and I did a shark cage experience in Hawaii which was amazing). On Wednesday the 19th, I'll be.at Epcot. On Thursday the 20th, I'll be at Animal Kingdom. On Friday the 21st, I'm going to be back at Epcot. On Saturday the 22nd, I will check out of the hotel and start for home. I'm really looking forward to it. The last time my husband and I were in Orlando, we also went to GatorLand (but I would be too sad to go there because he loved gators!). Is anyone going to be at WDW in May?

 

[BalooFan]

My condolences on the loss of your husband. I’m so happy that you are making this trip and hope you have a wonderful time.

I would also like to say this may be my favorite thread ever. So many kind, heartfelt, and encouraging responses!

 

[Disneyfan754321]

Only us your Disney family gets you.
I'm sorry that this last year has been a challenge.
I think you should go to Disney, I think you should eat everything in site no matter how many calories are in it and most of all have fun.

We went back to Disney in October after we were kicked out in March. Our family thought we were crazy and everyone told us not to go. We went , made some great memories who knew going to AK the pouring rain would bring us so much joy.
As you were recently reminded life is short.

 

[PollyannaMom]

So glad you made the decision to go! Everyone is ready when they are ready, and your husband (we often abbreviate it "DH" here, if you see people type that) would want you to heal and be happy again.
Best of luck with your trip, and to the DIS!

 

[Ricguz]

I’m so sorry for your lost. My wife understands how important Disney is for my state of mind. It brings so many great memories for me. If I was alone, she would want me to go to Disney without her physically, but she would always be with me ( in my heart). No question you should go knowing he will always be with you.

 

[AnnaS]

So sorry for your loss. I am happy to read you decided to go. Enjoy and celebrate his life. He would want you to go. Have a wonderful time.

 

[magrudersmakes3]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am so happy to hear that you are going. Grief is such a journey with some days being amazing, while others are a struggle. Enjoy your trip and feel every emotion that is tied to it.