My guest list keeps growing!

[BrideToBe82]

Ugh I just need to vent because my mom keeps sending me more and more names to add to the guest list. She actually wants to invite 3rd cousins to my wedding. I don't even want 2nd cousins there! I really just want a smallwedding and because my immediate family is so large I already can't have that...so I'll settle on a medium wedding but my mom is not helping! My parents are the ones paying for the wedding so I can't really say anything...or can I?

 

[JandJ]

Oh, that's messy! We were planning an at-home reception and wanted to keep it to about 40 people but mom had the guest list up to 132! Since my parents were planning to pay for half of that reception I felt like I couldn't say anything. I was so stressed I couldn't eat! Of course we canceled when mom got so sick and passed, it was completely inappropriate to have a big party.

This is one of many reasons why DH and I planned an Intimate and paid for it ourselves - we wanted it small and we didn't want anyone else dictating how we should do it. Please don't take this wrong, but if your mom is paying for it, she really has a lot of say over what you do, and I'm not saying that it's right for her to feel that way, but it is probably how she feels. Still, you should voice your concerns over it or it will never end and you'll have your 4th cousins and your elementary school teachers at your wedding too

 

[JJClemson]

I was in the same situation as you. My parents are paying for our entire wedding AND they have a ton of friends and family. With my family and parents' friends, our guest list was already at 120. I started planning the big wedding w/ my mom, but I was getting very stressed. I told her how I just really wanted a small wedding, and she respected my wishes. We are only having my close family, DF's close family, and a few of DF's and my friends at our Disney wedding, and that comes to 70 people. However, my parents are going to also throw an at home reception in NJ, that I am sure will have about 100 people. However, I am only planning the Disney wedding, and my mom is planning the NJ reception

Maybe you should sit down w/ your mom and explain to her that you want a small wedding. Maybe suggest having an at home reception as well? I know it's a tough situation, but you may be surprised, she may be willing to work with you. Good luck