My friend finally left her abusive husband!

[koima]

Her husband went out of town last night and she used it! Her brother came to get the baby, and three friends packed all of her stuff into a U-haul and in 3 hours, it was as though she'd never been there. I've been watching from the outside for a long time and had told her that when she was ready, I'd be there to help. I got the call at midnight and we packed until 3 am!!

She went to the police this morning to file a restraining order, went to the bank to close the joint accounts, and is on her way to a domestic violence shelter so he can't track her down. All before he got home to see that she was gone. The police called to inform him that she had left and he was not to make any contact with her.

The jerk was so rotten and controlling for so long that I don't think he believed she was strong enough to actually leave. Yay for my friend being strong enough to take advantage of the brief window to get out!!!

We left the house in pristine condition; it's on the market and has a showing today before her husband was to return home, and before the call from the police informing him that she'd left, so the realtor can confirm that the home was not left in any kind of mess. We didn't take or ruin anything that belonged to him.

We did, however, take every roll of toilet paper, box of Kleenex, roll of paper towels, and generally anything he could potentially use to wipe himself. He made this ****, so he can sit in it.

 

[Starbrite]

We did, however, take every roll of toilet paper, box of Kleenex, roll of paper towels, and generally anything he could potentially use to wipe himself. He made this ****, so he can sit in it.

That's classic!!!!


Good for her....and to you for being a great friend

 

[terri01p]

GOOD for her!!!! First steps are always the hardest, thank GOD for friends like you!!!! Godspeed!

 

[koima]

That's classic!!!!


Good for her....and to you for being a great friend

The beauty is that he is unlikely to realize he needs it until he needs it.

 

[ericamanda01]

You are a great friend. Women in those situations really depend on their friends and family more than most know. And I have to say I love the bit about the paper! Too funny!

 

[cassie]

Good for her. I hope things work out for her.

 

[The Orchid]

Having been a victim of domestic violence and later on, worked at a battered women's shelter for three years, I can tell you that your friend made a very brave decision! It is not easy and not many women find the courage to leave. I feel so very happy for her! And you....what an awesome friend. That is what empowers women in abusive situations; supportive friends/family. She's so lucky to have people who care about her and were willing to help her get free. I am sure she will never forget it. Sometimes I think of my friends who helped me...wow, 11 years ago now....and I still cry and thank God for the love and endless support I received from them. I just want you to know that what you did changed somebody's life. It's not always easy to support somebody in a situation like that...it's exhausting because it seems so easy when you're on the outside looking in, but when you're actually there in the middle of the abuse, it is hard to leave for many reasons. Most battered women wear their friends down very fast and find themselves alone. The ones who have friends like you are the ones who are able to move on.

Good luck to your friend! She's doing all the right things, leaving, closing the account, going to the shelter...very wise. If there are shared credit cards, she should cancel them. And she may want to find a good family attorney because there could be issues around the custody of the child.

Your post really made my day! I just love it when one gets away!

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Your story is too close to my heart. This happened to a dear friend too. I just wanted to add that her now ex, obsessed with trying to find her and was following a group of us to see if she was with any of us etc. So heads up if he might do that too.

 

[shortbun]

Bravo!!!

 

[koima]

She was absolutely brave! I know from my side, I kept thinking, why hasn't she left the jerk already? But I know she was making her plan and getting all her ducks in a row. She's talking to an attorney on Monday; in the past few months, she made copies of all the important papers and his bank records and squirreled them off to her mom's house, so she's got all that.

Her husband has a history of abuse that is documented by the police (he put her in the hospital at least once, and the police officer who came to talk to her convinced her not to press charges ), and has an addiction that he refuses to get treatment for. Hopefully that will work in her favor for custody of their baby.

luvmarypoppins - I'm her only local friend, and he doesn't know where I live. She only ever calls me from her cell phone, which she took with her.

 

[Glenn]

Good for your friend that she stopped putting up with the husbands abuse & congrats to her friends that were there to help at such short notice.
The only thing I would advise is her to see a LAWYER asap to see what her rights are and to start getting permanetly rid of him right away. One thing that concerns me is her wiping out the joint accounts. In some state that would be illegal &could open her up for legal action. Yes it felt good but you dont want the police looking for her. Have her attorney advise her about her states law says about that situation.

 

[chell]

She was absolutely brave! I know from my side, I kept thinking, why hasn't she left the jerk already? But I know she was making her plan and getting all her ducks in a row. She's talking to an attorney on Monday; in the past few months, she made copies of all the important papers and his bank records and squirreled them off to her mom's house, so she's got all that.

Her husband has a history of abuse that is documented by the police (he put her in the hospital at least once, and the police officer who came to talk to her convinced her not to press charges ), and has an addiction that he refuses to get treatment for. Hopefully that will work in her favor for custody of their baby.

luvmarypoppins - I'm her only local friend, and he doesn't know where I live. She only ever calls me from her cell phone, which she took with her.

That officer needs to be fired!!!

I'm so glad you all were there for her. Like someone said he would try to follow friends. I also wanted to say he may try to follow her family. I hope and pray he leaves her alone now.

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

You are a great friend!
I don't know what I could do if my older sister, who just got engaged today!, were to be abused..

 

[Darsa]

Wow, that's incredible and truly WONDERFUL! Thank you for sharing this with us, it's so nice to have good-news posts like this

 

[OK!]

Good for her, and good for you for being such a wonderful friend! A friend of our family was in a similar situation many, many years ago; she ended up breaking free suddenly and came to our house in the middle of the night. Her oldest daughter was my age at the time (about 7 or 8) and in my 7- or 8-year-old mind, it seemed like a great adventure, having a friend come over in the middle of the night to spend the night, but later I learned exactly how terrifying the situation was for them. Your friend is very, very strong for being able to get herself to this point!

 

[olena]

God bless her and her wonderful support group! I know y'all will stick by her to see her through.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

please help her to remain strong and away from him. I work in a court house as an officer and see too many times the victim return when things got too tough. they feel like they have no option. Remind her how strong she is and how she needs to protect her baby. best of luck to her.

 

[~disneydiva~]

Yay for your friend!! I know you must be sooo proud of her! One of my friends is going thru something like that. Her husband is abusive...its been physcial and mental...he's also cheated on her numerous times and she continues to go back to him. Hopefully she'll be able to be as strong as your friend one day.

 

[Kimmumum]

About 10 years ago I got a call from my best friend who lived in Wisconsin (I live south of Chicago) around 9 in the morning. She said she was leaving her abusive husband and needed help while he was golfing. We had 5 hours (travel time, play time, lunch time ec)to clear out the house while he was gone. He was served papers while we were pulling out of the driveway. He called her crying, telling her he loved her, telling her he was going to kill himself without her etc. She is happy and has never looked back. She knew what she had to do and she did it!!!!!

Tell your friend to stay strong. She can do. She needs to do it for her and her baby. YOU are a good friend!!!!

 

[Serena]

Thank you for being her friend. And thank heavens she got away.