My Eye Opening MySpace tour (long)

[zippeedee]

I was originally one of those people who thought MySpace was fairly harmless as long as kids were supervised. From what I've seen this week, it's the kids who are their own worst enemies. I'm very close with the three kids who live next door. They are boys 17 and 15, girl 13. The 15yr old was recently arrested for vandalism. He and some friends spray painted graffitti on the local middle school. He was caught because the authorities saw the pictures they posted on MySpace. A few days later his parents were contacted by police who were pursuing a WEAPONS charge. He was again recognized in a photo on myspace. He and a friend were playing with the friend's brothers broken bb gun. Of course, they couldn't tell from the photo that it wasn't an actual weapon. His Dad pulled strings to get him out of trouble, again.
I'd been letting the girl13 use my computer to check her messages because their phone/AOL is shut off. I asked her to let me see what she had posted to be sure at least one adult was paying attention. She is very careful about not giving out her name & location at least. I was stunned at the language, but totally floored when we looked at one of her friend's postings. I know this boy and even hosted him at WDW for a few days for the now 15 yr old's 13th birthday. He'd sent her a very suggestive quiz type thing. As I clicked around his site, there he was in photos, smoking pot with his friends and bragging about it! He's 14! Not only do I no longer think he's a "nice kid", I can't believe how bold and dumb these kids are for posting stuff like that. This kid has very nice parents who are involved in his life and have lost an older son to a drug overdose. Where are they? Do they never look to see what he's posting or who he's talking to?
I've tried and tried to convince the kids that there is no such thing as "privacy" on the internet. Parents need your passwords to keep you safe, and everything you post can be seen by pretty much anyone (except me, I can't figure out how to get to their sites)
Does anyone know how the police get access to photos without being a "friend" on the site? Can members just see other people's sites without being "invited"? Stuff like this makes me so glad I don't have my own kids to worry about. I'd be a nervous wreck every minute. The teen years are so scary!

 

[stevenpensacola]

My daughter had a myspace account, but after looking around on myspace, I decided to block it from our computer.

She was always good not to post any type of personal info , but there are links on their sites which take you to their friends myspace sites, and if the friends are posting private info, it does not take a brain surgeon to find out where a person goes to school, town they live in, etc. from their friends sites.

I sat down and showed this to my daughter, and told her she had an hour to do what she wanted to do with her site and I would then block it...she did not like it...but quickly got over it.

I wonder if some of these kids realize that all it takes is a "right click" and copy, for their picture of questionable taste to be captured forever by someone they don't know. Who knows, years later, when they're running for president, out comes the picture from cyberspace...

 

[Blueeyes101817]

I have a myspace account just to keep in contact with some people from high school-i think i have 8 friends on it haha..

but i am shocked at some of the things i see on other peoples pages--its ridiculous!!!

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

My Space is not a safe site. I just posted this the other day.
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1030648

 

[LoraJ]

I always keep hearing myspace reffered to as a "teen" site. I have a myspace account since some of my favorite artists have myspace pages. I never did anything with it. A bunch of my co-workers (all in their 30's) have myspace pages and they made me spiff mine up a bit and now we send messages to each other and stupid silly comments.

Since I keep within my circle of friends, I don't really see much of this bad stuff. BUT, every day I get messages from strangers wnting to be my friend. All guys. I can just see how easy it would be to prey on minors, especially if they lie about their age.

I think myspace type sites can be fun as long as they are used ocrrectly. But when people go to far with them, it can really be scary.

 

[nliedel]

People use the, relative, ananimity of the internet to act like morons. Myspace is just one place they do this. I have seen people be abusive and nasty on the internet in a way, I would hope, they never do in real life. They post intimate details about their lives in their blog and in places like the forums here. They don't even think about it. I am fairly open but there are lines here too. I don't get it. I don't get why being polite goes out the window the moment a computer screen comes into play.

I get why kids with a broader range of people telling them what is "Cool" act more idiotic. I was a kid not that long ago (despite what my kids think) and did my share of stupid. My Dad was not involved in my life at all and I amlucky to be where and who I am. I watch my boys on the internet and we have only one computer connected, in the family room but still I worry.

 

[swanmom]

nliedel, Sorry couldn't helping laughing at your comment that you
"did my share of stupid"

But...I'd watch out for the tag fairies on that little comment!

 

[LisaNJ25]

I have a myspace account just to keep in contact with some people from high school-i think i have 8 friends on it haha..

but i am shocked at some of the things i see on other peoples pages--its ridiculous!!!

Same here.. I am 31 and have got back in contact with a few HS friends throug it.

I have to laugh at the pictures... do you realy need your chest hanging out it all of them?

I toolk a pic of me that I had and changed it to a "mosaic" pic with psp... so you really cant tell its even me.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

my daughter has a myspace. she uses it to keep in touch with her friends back in illinois. when she added one of my best friend's son to her friends, she came screaming for me to look at his profile. this 13 year old kid I had watched grow up had the most foul, perverse, and disgusting things posted. and I'm definately not conservative when it comes to a little foul language.

 

[zippeedee]

my daughter has a myspace. she uses it to keep in touch with her friends back in illinois. when she added one of my best friend's son to her friends, she came screaming for me to look at his profile. this 13 year old kid I had watched grow up had the most foul, perverse, and disgusting things posted. and I'm definately not conservative when it comes to a little foul language.

I'm not conservative either, but they are so young, and don't seem to realize the permanence and reach of their posts, as Steven posted above. It's so great that she showed it to you. "My" kids are pretty secretive with not wanting their parents to see their "private" stuff. I've been reminding them that their teachers can see this stuff too, not that it seems to bother them. I also told them that anytime they think about posting private stuff, remember that the internet is about as private as buying a billboard on Rt 1. That got their attention!

 

[Cruise04]

Facebook is another place that middle school/high school/college kids use. It's similar to MySpace. There is suppose to be another site but I haven't heard the formal name for it yet.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

one of the TOS with myspace is you have to be 18 years old to have an account. so kids pick a fake birthdate. my daughter is 12 and her friends are all listed between 18-100 years old, then they force in they're really 12 or 13. then they put up a picture of themselves. a 13 year old girl with a pic on a network of 55 million users is bad. then they put their city and state. bad as well. my daughter's pic is one of Spongebob. myspace is a fun networking tool, it's the internet predators and the parents that don't care what their kids are posting that make it dangerous.

 

[LoraJ]

Facebook is another place that middle school/high school/college kids use. It's similar to MySpace. There is suppose to be another site but I haven't heard the formal name for it yet.

I think xanga may be what you are thinking of:
http://www.xanga.com/Default.aspx?

 

[Mom2Angels]

one of the TOS with myspace is you have to be 18 years old to have an account. so kids pick a fake birthdate. my daughter is 12 and her friends are all listed between 18-100 years old, then they force in they're really 12 or 13. then they put up a picture of themselves. a 13 year old girl with a pic on a network of 55 million users is bad. then they put their city and state. bad as well. my daughter's pic is one of Spongebob. myspace is a fun networking tool, it's the internet predators and the parents that don't care what their kids are posting that make it dangerous.

From what I read at TOS on myspace you only have to be 14 to have an account. My son has one and it has his correct age listed (15) as do his friends. I have his password and check it daily to see what is going on. He has it blocked so only his friends can view his page. I joined just to see if I could get to his page without being his friend and if it's possible I couldn't figure it out.

This stuff has been going on since the internet came to be, and it will continue even if myspace is taken down.

Debbie

 

[PaulaSue]

Thank you! I am really clueless when it comes to the computer and I appreciate others warninig us Mom to Mom. My Dd's aren't online much but I know things like that will start soon and it is nice to be reminded of the dangers.

 

[laura001]

I am taken aback by all of this. I just spoke with my DD regarding this and she told me that she doesn't have myspace but she has another one that is attached to msn...does anyone know about this? The only people that have access to it are people that are on her "allow" list on msn, is this one bad also?

 

[stevenpensacola]

my daughter has a myspace. she uses it to keep in touch with her friends back in illinois.

It CAN be a great tool to locate old friends, but as far as keeping in touch with them...that's what e'mail is for.

some of the other arguments in defense of myspace remind me of the old line
"but I only read Playboy for the articles..." Sure, myspace can be a really useful tool, but do you want your kids exposed to all the other crap that goes along with it just because it's "cool"?

I think "we" as parents seem to be afraid to take a stand on things like this.

 

[dturner]

There is NOTHING good about MYSPACE.

Last year, I was following a band who had a MYSPACE page, then some other fans of this band made MYSPACE pages as well so I joined in - when DH saw my page he FLIPPED OUT (there was nothing bad on it) and I canceled it and have never been back.

 

[LightBurnsBlue]

Facebook is another place that middle school/high school/college kids use. It's similar to MySpace. There is suppose to be another site but I haven't heard the formal name for it yet.

As far as I know, Facebook is a social networking tool (similar to myspace with room for pictures, personal interests, etc.) for college students. Most major universities and colleges have access to it (you need a university e-mail address to join) and it is a very fun diversion. I'm a college student and it's a great way to keep in contact with friends...I have never seen anything pornographic or perverse (besides some people mentioning interests in drinking and smoking...but hey, we're college students).

I think it has recently been expanded to some high schools, but not any middle schools. So...if you're a parent of a middle schooler, you don't have anything to worry about on this one yet.

If I had a child, I would definitely NOT let them have a myspace account!

 

[stevenpensacola]

If you're not sure of what all the fuss is about...

just go to www.myspace.com

click on "browse" on the menu bar across the top of the site...

then scroll down the page, or better yet, just for fun, select women between 18-20, and enter your zip code within say 5 miles, and then be prepared to be shocked by what you may see. If you look long enough, you'll find some of your kids friends/acquaintances in very compromising photos for all the world to see.
You can't help but wonder "do their parents know about this?".