My ex was proposed to last week

[Jamesbyr]

Maybe the poor guy is well rid of her, given her DIS obsession and maybe other things she won't mention. ??? Just a thought. Let's hear his side if we could. I know that will never happen here. As he doesn't know how to use Internet.

 

[Tiggeroo]

The reasons he gave for being unhappy with our family, just blew up in smoke. He didn't want to be a dad, or a husband, or any responsibilities. He wanted to be single, to do what he wanted.

Now he's marrying someone with 3 small kids, and a farm to deal with.

He just didn't want to be married to me.

I remember when all this first happened. He treated you badly. And you've had your hands feel, pretty much on your own with the girls thru the tough years on your own.
Men meet a new woman and they have no history. There aren't all the issues that should be dealt with. The new woman hasn't had to deal with 20 years of the same old stuff. So she can treat the man differently, especially if she's a bit younger and more naieve. It's not marriage, you or the children he ran from per se. It's responsibility, problems, having to work things out with somebody who knows you very well, etc. I like what Dr. Phil says about having to earn your way out of a marriage. You don't just leave. You fix the problems and attempt to heal the marriage. This way if in the end you still have to end the marriage you aren't the same person bringing the same problems into a new relationshipo.
I've often thought that more then a divorce it would bother me if my dh left and then, given our ages the new person he was with had children. Because he would then be raising somebody else's children when he is no longer raising ours. I would imagine that is hurtful too.
Hugs to you. You have grown so much over the past year and done wonderful things for you and the girls.

 

[N.Bailey]

Perhaps it means nothing, but I think you should take some comfort in the fact that she had to ask him. Maybe she got tired of waiting? I don't know, but unless he's changed 360 degrees, I'm sure he'll get tired of feeling tied down and this probably won't last long either.

How long have they been together?

Your day is coming too. You believe that because it's gonna happen!

 

[N.Bailey]

Well, she has been a member of this board since 1999 and she has almost 29,000 posts. That breaks down to an average of 13 posts per day to this board alone during a 6 year period. I wonder if she visits other boards as well.

What do you think?

What I think is, it's none of your business! Shame on you. Where is that slapping icon when you need it? Oh yeah, it's on Court TV's website. The other board I spend a lot of time on!

 

[SonicLogic]

What I think is, it's none of your business! Shame on you. Where is that slapping icon when you need it? Oh yeah, it's on Court TV's website. The other board I spend a lot of time on!

I didn't tap her phone to get this information. This is a public forum. So, shame on you. She made it the business of the entire world!

 

[N.Bailey]

I didn't tap her phone to get this information. This is a public forum. So, shame on you. She made it the business of the entire world!

and you think it's better to kick someone while they're down? Shame on you! I'm outta this thread and I suggest you stop hi-jacking it as well.

 

[kaylajr]

Karma's good.

I just gotta not forget that I am much better off now anyway. He was a lousy husband. Now he's her problem.

Remeber that and you'll be OK

in the long run you are MUCH better off without him

and as for the negative comments in the few posts above please just ignore them you know you are cared about here and a few people whos opinions are cruel should just be ignored

 

[Sleepy]

The reasons he gave for being unhappy with our family, just blew up in smoke. He didn't want to be a dad, or a husband, or any responsibilities. He wanted to be single, to do what he wanted.

Now he's marrying someone with 3 small kids, and a farm to deal with.

He just didn't want to be married to me.

That sounds like what happened to a friend of mine. I just reminded her that the woman was stupid for wanting to be with a man who walked out on his BIOLOGICAL kids.

 

[legs22]

He didn't want to be a dad, or a husband, or any responsibilities. He wanted to be single, to do what he wanted.

This is exactly what my XH said when he left the marriage. Now he's with a woman with two kids

 

[olena]

Take heart, Laurie!

You have something he doesn't. Us. You have the respect, admiration and well-wishes of the DIS. We won't forget you or let you feel down. I have admired your courage in all this and this too will pass and we'll be here...

I could use a trip to WDW these days. Maybe we should go together....

 

[marlasmom]

Perhaps he realized he was better off married to you than being single and he wants the comfort of a married life again.

 

[Kitty 34]

I know how you feel, Laurie. Hang in there...you got us.

 

[Disneyfan63]

Hi,

Not all men get into another relationship so quickly.

I've never married, but I have an ex girlfriend.

We dated for 21 months, a period in which I spent money on her and her daughter faster than I could earn it, because subconsciously, in my late thirties, I thought I had to purchase a girlfriend. Of course that is why I felt like more of a meal ticket than a boyfriend. I let her use me.

She found someone else three months before breaking up with me, because I complained about the money I had to spend to support her and her daughter in the style to which they would like to have become accustomed, in August, 2002.

I made no effort to get her back, nor did I date for two years after the breakup. I had an eHarmony date in Baltimore on Labor Day, September 6, 2004. No sparks, and I got robbed on my way home. That night I cancelled my eHarmony subscription, which had expired, and prayed to the Lord Jesus Christ to allow me to "shut it down". I didn't really want to date again for awhile, but if it was His will that I be alone, or to find a girlfriend, so be it.

I met my current girlfriend on October 30, 2004 through two mutual friends at work. She's pretty, nice, and has her own money.

Jim

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

Karma's good.

He was a lousy husband. Now he's her problem.

And you don't need that. Glad you can come here and vent and get support.

 

[Serena]

Thanks everyone.

 

[Serena]

You have over 28,000 posts to this board. I think you're married to the Internet.

LOL, you have no clue. So, what exactly was the purpose of this comment? Never mind, it's not important.

 

[NMAmy]

So is it that I'm jealous? not of her, but of him for being happy?

Oh, Laurie, I've been in your shoes and it's just not a happy place to be. I don't think it's that you're jealous, it's just hard to let go of the thinking that he is YOUR husband (whether you still want him or not)--particularly since you've only been divorced a year. I know that when I learned my ex was remarrying, I also learned it from my daughter instead of him and that was one thing that really ticked me off. That he didn't even have the guts to tell me himself but made a child do it.

Things do get better. My ex married the woman he cheated with while we were married and now, five years later, he and I can have a civilized conversation and I email back and forth with his new wife regarding transportation issues for dd. She doesn't come into my house during the drop off/pick up times--I think she knows there's a limit to my civility. But my ex and dd's half-sister come in to visit when picking up dd. And it's ok--her little half-sister loves to talk to me and I like her a lot, too. I know that I wouldn't take him back on a silver platter. If he had married someone besides her, I really think I could wish them both happiness and be friendly. I'm sure I'll get along just fine with his next wife.

It's a hard journey to get to that point, though, Laurie, but it will happen. If you need to talk, you can always send me a pm. I wish you the very best--you're strong, you'll get past this.

 

[pattyT]

So is it that I'm jealous? not of her, but of him for being happy?

i would be -
harte to sound this way - but
everything happens for a reason -
and heres my favorite poem for you:

COMES TO DAWN
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learnthat love doesn't mean learning and company doesn't mean security.
And you learnt hat kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
And you learn to accept you defeats with your head up and your eyes open.
And you learn that you build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is to uncertain.
For plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that sunshine burns if you get to much.
So youplant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.​

And you learn that you can endure...
That you really are strong...
And you really do have worth....
And you learn... and learn
with every good-bye
you learn.​

Author unkown​

 

[Serena]

Oh, Laurie, I've been in your shoes and it's just not a happy place to be. I don't think it's that you're jealous, it's just hard to let go of the thinking that he is YOUR husband (whether you still want him or not)--particularly since you've only been divorced a year. I know that when I learned my ex was remarrying, I also learned it from my daughter instead of him and that was one thing that really ticked me off. That he didn't even have the guts to tell me himself but made a child do it.

Things do get better. My ex married the woman he cheated with while we were married and now, five years later, he and I can have a civilized conversation and I email back and forth with his new wife regarding transportation issues for dd. She doesn't come into my house during the drop off/pick up times--I think she knows there's a limit to my civility. But my ex and dd's half-sister come in to visit when picking up dd. And it's ok--her little half-sister loves to talk to me and I like her a lot, too. I know that I wouldn't take him back on a silver platter. If he had married someone besides her, I really think I could wish them both happiness and be friendly. I'm sure I'll get along just fine with his next wife.

It's a hard journey to get to that point, though, Laurie, but it will happen. If you need to talk, you can always send me a pm. I wish you the very best--you're strong, you'll get past this.

I don't think I would be taking it so well if he was marrying the person he went to after me. I remember saying something about him making sure she did not come over because I would not be responsible for my actions. I haven't seen my ex-friend in 3 years.
I was just having a bad moment last night. I needed to talk it through because Kelsea is watching me. During all this, how I behave is shaping her and her relationship with her dad.
I'll be fine, I am fine.

 

[Serena]

i would be -
harte to sound this way - but
everything happens for a reason -
and heres my favorite poem for you:

COMES TO DAWN
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learnthat love doesn't mean learning and company doesn't mean security.
And you learnt hat kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
And you learn to accept you defeats with your head up and your eyes open.
And you learn that you build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is to uncertain.
For plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that sunshine burns if you get to much.
So youplant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.​

And you learn that you can endure...
That you really are strong...
And you really do have worth....
And you learn... and learn
with every good-bye
you learn.​

Author unkown​

Patty, that is a very nice poem. And so true. thank you.