My DH! >:o(

[Kies99]

I would never do this with my kids!

If one of them had a situation like this I'd make it a priority and I'd be at that appointment, even if I had to take an unpaid day off from work. I'd then do anything and everything possible to make my kid comfortable afterwards.

I'm sorry, but there is NO excuse for a father to be this way. Family ALWAYS comes first, everything else second.

 

[WDSearcher]

OP, I see you wanting things to change. I don't know where you are but if I were your friend, I'd be helping you find a job. Your son is mostly raised and your husband obviously doesn't care what you do. Start building some job skills somehow. You could work as a receptionisht, train as an intern somewhere, perhaps work in fast food just to get some job experience. You could clean houses/one house. It doesn't need to be a lot of work, just something you can use to show you are willing to work outside your home. You need to put some money away for yourself too. Every woman should have their own money. It's the 21st century. Throw change in a jar, lay away a dollar a day. Just do something positive to empower yourself and enable yourself to provide for yourself someday. Even the negative comments here are meant to be supportive; these people want to shock you into some action. I believe your husband could do some changing. If he feels you detaching, doing your own thing and not being affected by his childish behavior, perhaps he will come around or meet you in the middle. Stranger things have happened but do not expect it...start taking care of yourself so you can stand alone someday. You will be glad you did.

Volunteering is also a great option. I know many people who got their paying jobs after volunteering with an organization. You pick up valuable work skills, make contacts, get back into a "work mode", AND you help an organization that needs it. Figure out what it is you want to do and find an organization that fits. Animal welfare, education, the arts, the environment, helping the homeless, whatever. Even if it doesn't lead to paying work, it gets you out of the house and introduces you to a whole new set of people / friends. Which could end up being helpful as you move forward.

 

[cm8]

So sorry to hear how he acted. But some men are just like that. They are very self centered and have no empathy. My husband is also like that. Hoping the best for your DS.

Until they need something and then all h3!! breaks loose if you don't cater to them. I hope that all is going well with you son too

 

[punkin]

I don't think it's cause he's male. The vast majority of men are caring and concerned, particularly about their children. I believe that this is just this particular man who is behaving badly. My DH has his issues (who doesn't) but he is a lot better than I am when the children are sick. He's very nurturing.

 

[Zandy595]

Just wanted to update. We all (even Dh) went to the doctor yesterday and found out it wasn't cancer.

 

[Mkrop]

Just wanted to update. We all (even Dh) went to the doctor yesterday and found out it wasn't cancer.

great news all around

 

[Donaldswife]

Just wanted to update. We all (even Dh) went to the doctor yesterday and found out it wasn't cancer.

That's great news! I do wish your family all the best, and hope you and your DH can work on things now that the big stress is out of the way and you have some perspective!

 

[mommasita]

Just wanted to update. We all (even Dh) went to the doctor yesterday and found out it wasn't cancer.

I was checking for an update. Absolutely marvelous

 

[HM]

Great news! Glad your DH was there for your son on the return visit too.

 

[Planogirl]

Just wanted to update. We all (even Dh) went to the doctor yesterday and found out it wasn't cancer.

That is what is really important! Yay!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[ChrizJen]

Great news, OP!!!
Thanks for the update!!

 

[FredinFL]

SO glad it wasn't cancer!

As for the men. It's not just men. I've come to find that some people are their own "best friend" no one else matters as much, ever. It's all about them and how it effects them.

It's who they are. I don't know if it's even worth trying to get them to change. My dh is one. Didn't realize it for the longest time, but he is. I think it's because he was really coddled by mom and 4 big sisters. Dad worked a lot and was very harsh. So he got from both sides. Overdone on one, not enough on the other. Made him the man he is today. Be warned.

 

[ccgirl]

DS15 had to have a biopsy done on a spot under the cuticle of his fingernail today. It took quite a while and he had to have stitches and a pressure bandage. He was given Tylenol with codine(sp) for the pain, so it wasn't a "nothing" procedure. He's in pain and isn't supposed to be using his hand. DH didn't even ask him how he was when we got home. He had the day off and could have gone to the appt with us, but he sat home and played xbox all day. Then when DS was trying to pick the laptop up DH (who was sitting next to him on the couch) wouldn't even help him. What is wrong with some men? His son might have cancer and he's being a jerk.

Oh my!

I haven't read all replies but I have to say that I don't agree this is a man issue. My DH would move heaven and earth for his children. He would be right there at the biopsy, as would just about every dad I know. No way he would have stayed home to play XBox. His children are his priority not videogames. I would be having a long heart to heart with your DH.

 

[ccgirl]

Just wanted to update. We all (even Dh) went to the doctor yesterday and found out it wasn't cancer.

Fabulous news. Thanks for the update.