My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[KAMKIM]

A public place is just that. Public.

Which means if someone is there that is annoying the CRAP out of you, you have the option of leaving. You certainly don't have to stand there and take the "abuse".

And you certainly don't go up to someone and make it your personal crusade to try to tell someone how to parent their child.
I mean really. How self-righteous can you be?????????

What does it solve? The child will continue to wail, the mom will be frazzled b/c it's obvious that she is there BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO BE AT THAT MOMENT (Furthermore, it's not up to you to judge why she is there right then and if she could come back later- you don't know her or the world she lives in) and you will continue to be put out b/c you don't live in a your own little chalkboard world with Beethoven playing in the background where no one utters a sound.


I'm sure Moms don't say as they are leaving to go to the store--"Come on Little Johnny, lets go annoy people at WalMart today- I hear so- and so- is going to be there-- let's see if we can ruin their day."

Is it annoying? Sure it is. Is it going to kill you in the next ten minutes? Probably not.

But if you place yourself into the position of being the judge and jury of what someone should or shouldn't do with their kid without even knowing that person or their circumstances at all--- don't be surprised at whatever is dished back at you.

I think a lot of times people forget that they need to do some sweeping of their own back stoop before peering over the fence into the neighbor's yard to say what is wrong next door.

Jo

Very well said!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Regardless of whether the OP tried to quiet her child ( only the OP can answer that), the woman called a 2 year old a brat, what kind of person does that

Nobody is saying the woman was right, they are just saying that the OP was wrong to let her kid screech and screech because "she rules the roost not the kids and if you don't like it shop online!" The woman shouldn't have said anything to the child but I might have complained very loudly also if I was trying to stop and had to listen to screeching and the parent is doing NOTHING to stop it. I would not have called the kid a name but I would wonder out loud why that mother was not parenting her child.

 

[wdwfan16]

I don't get why people keep harping on the "perfect kid" thing. I haven't seen anyone on the thread claim to have perfect kids, or claim to have been a perfect kid.

It is the insult that the parents of brats use to excuse their brats behavior. Really the child is not a brat but a poorly parented child.

Yes 2 year olds love to make noises but a parent will try to stop that behavior in a building. If a parent is really trying and the kid keeps doing it then the parent needs to remove the child until it stops. Just going to the car for a few minutes might have been the solution. Just because it was Walmart is not an excuse.

 

[KAMKIM]

I don't get why people keep harping on the "perfect kid" thing. I haven't seen anyone on the thread claim to have perfect kids, or claim to have been a perfect kid. Just because some of us think that it isn't appropriate to allow a screeching child to annoy everyone else in a public place does not mean that our children were perfect. Mine certainly wasn't. He threw a couple of very impressive tantrums in public. And then I took him home and he learned that he couldn't behave that way in public without missing out on a fun outing. He liked to make loud noises just to hear himself, and so I taught him the difference between an "inside voice" and an "outside voice". My child was mostly well behaved because I taught him to be. How else was he supposed to learn? I didn't expect everyone else to put up with his tantrums or screeching. No one else should expect me (or anyone else) to put up with that sort of thing from their children.

As for the whole "it's just Walmart" thing. . . yes, it's just Walmart. But most people who are saying it's just Walmart are also saying that the kid is 2 and can't be expected to adhere to adult standards yet. A two year old can't be expected to tell the difference between Walmart and the Ritz. She can be expected to tell the difference between "inside" and "outside", and "public place" and "home". With a child that age, it's much easier to teach her that loud voices are not appropriate for public places than it would be to teach her that loud noises are not appropriate for public places except for Walmart. (Although frankly I disagree that screeching is appropriate behavior even at a Walmart. If you want to let your child screech at home, go for it. It isn't appropriate behavior for any public building where others are going to have to deal with it, though.)

Not harping...it was a joke lighten up!

 

[luvmy3]

I have kids and no, 2 is not too young to know how to behave. As a parent you remind them and make sure there are consequences if they cannot behave as they are expected.

I really have to say that I am tired of reading "It's only Walmart not the Ritz."
I don't care if it is a thrift store in the middle of a garbage dump! That is no reason to let your child act like a beast! Have respect for others no matter where you go. Are the people of Walmart any less important than the people at the Ritz? What a ridiculous thing to say.

A two year old ( a child who is 24 months to 35 months old) is in the process of learning how to behave, except here on the DIS of course where 2 year olds were already born with the knowledge and wisdom of adults

 

[KAMKIM]

Regardless if we hear the other side or not--it really isn't a valid defense.

My 9yo and 7yo try to do this all the time.

"Well I couldn't help myself--they made me do it."

Hogwash.

An adult is fully capable of controlling themselves...and if they can't, then perhaps they should rethink their participation in public venues.

It's a shame that we are holding a 2yo to a higher standard than an adult woman.

There is no self defense here--and it is simply foolish to continue using that argument as a defense of a woman who felt compelled to name call in public b/c she didn't like what she was hearing.

I can't say that I enjoy a tantrum anymore than anyone else--but I'm old enough to know better than to throw one myself when I don't like something in public.

exactly

 

[KAMKIM]

A two year old ( a child who is 24 months to 35 months old) is in the process of learning how to behave, except here on the DIS of course where 2 year olds were already born with the knowledge and wisdom of adults

Well thats because here on the DIS most of them should already have IQ's of 160+

 

[KAMKIM]

It is the insult that the parents of brats use to excuse their brats behavior. Really the child is not a brat but a poorly parented child.

Yes 2 year olds love to make noises but a parent will try to stop that behavior in a building. If a parent is really trying and the kid keeps doing it then the parent needs to remove the child until it stops. Just going to the car for a few minutes might have been the solution. Just because it was Walmart is not an excuse.

So what was the mean old lady's excuse for her poor behavior?

 

[Scurvy]

Not harping...it was a joke lighten up!

Sorry, it fit in so well with the rest of your posts I didn't realize it was a joke.

As it comes up so often in threads like this, I'm sort of accustomed to people actually meaning it when they post it. I think it makes them feel better when they post it. . . as though they aren't really bad or lazy parents, but the people with well behaved kids just have perfect children (or at least lie about having them on the internet). I'm glad to hear you were just joking about it, though!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

A two year old ( a child who is 24 months to 35 months old) is in the process of learning how to behave, except here on the DIS of course where 2 year olds were already born with the knowledge and wisdom of adults

Wow, thanks for letting me know that age 2 was 24-35 months! I had no idea!
If you actually read my post you would have seen that I said that as a parent it is your job to remind them to behave and put some consequences in place if they don't. That is how they learn. At age 2 (24-35 months!) children can and do learn many things. They can learn how to have manners and behave. They might need reminders but they don't all roll around screaming and yelling like a whirling dervish until the magic age of ummmm.....3! (36 -47months!)

 

[sandramaac]

Ladies, ladies, ladies (and gentlemen)----this thread has turned into something that isn't constructive. It isn't about blame---was the mom wrong for letting the kids shreek, or for not leaving the store so the little one could take a nap. It isn't about if the women who made her unkind remark. Some awful comments about the OP have been made here---without any of as knowing her,or her children , her life or her circumstances. Heck, we don't even know her favorite tv show, or if she like brussels sprouts or lima beans.

But this is what I do know. As the old saying goes--it takes a village. We as women should be offering constructive and compassionate advice. Heck ladies, she is one of us. The imperfect mom, who is learning as she goes, doing some things to perfection and totally failing in others. We can offer our advice and viewpoints, but be constructive.

I have been in line in back of the women who is trying to make the escape from the grocery store because 2 year old Johnny is having his meltdown. You have all seen that women, haven't you---the one not sure if she should cry, or scream at the kid to just shut up. She is the one trying to bribe the kid with the box of cookies she just bought, but that kid throws them on the floor and screams louder. She swipes her debit card and in her frustration types in the wrong pin, and has the re-do the debit card machine thing again. There is no bagger so she throwing the toilet bowl cleaner in the same bag with the banana's. I am the observer, until I take the initiative. I try to get the kids attention----pretend to play with the little one, make funny faces anything to divert the kids attention for 10 seconds. I turn to mom and say, one of those days-huh. I tell her don't worry, its happened TO ALL OF US!!! And for just a second before Johnny starts round 2, mom knows she is part of something bigger, and that we as women can stand and help constructively and with compassion.

And thats all I have to say about that.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

So what was the mean old lady's excuse for her poor behavior?

Maybe her bloomers were on too tight.
Maybe she has supersonic hearing and the screeching was burning her head.
Maybe she was having a bad day.
Maybe she hates people who have shopping carts.
Who knows?
Nobody thinks the lady was right or that the kid was a brat. Most think the mom should have been making some kind of effort to redirect the kid.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Well thats because here on the DIS most of them should already have IQ's of 160+

Not me--I was spanked as a kid. Missed out on being a genius. (Still not sure if I can spell that word. )

 

[Scurvy]

Maybe her bloomers were on too tight.

Maybe she had a migraine from all the screeching.

 

[wdwfan16]

So what was the mean old lady's excuse for her poor behavior?

Her parents let her scream when she was a kid.


We only have the OP's story that makes her out to be a monster. I have said she was wrong but the OP was wrong too.

Errors caused:

1) OP takes an over tired kid out.
2) Kid starts to screech and the OP does nothing to stop it (if she did she would have state it).
3) Older women in an ECV (who the OP called names in a later post) asks her to control herself.
4) OP does not ignore her or say something with sorry in it but confronts the women.
5) The women calls the kids a brat.
6) OP then comments back.

So 4 mistakes were made by the OP and 2 by the women. Seems the OP did more wrong. What is her excuse for her bad behavior. She is an adult just like the lady.

So what was the mean younger ladies excuse?

 

[luvmy3]

Wow, thanks for letting me know that age 2 was 24-35 months! I had no idea!
If you actually read my post you would have seen that I said that as a parent it is your job to remind them to behave and put some consequences in place if they don't. That is how they learn. At age 2 (24-35 months!) children can and do learn many things. They can learn how to have manners and behave. They might need reminders but they don't all roll around screaming and yelling like a whirling dervish until the magic age of ummmm.....3! (36 -47months!)

You said in your post that a 2 year old is old enough to know how to behave, and at 24 months I think you are are wrong. Its not about being reminded, its about being taught. You may have been one of thse lucky parents who old your 24 month old exactly how they should behave in every situation for therest of their lives, and at 36 months they only needed to be reminded when they *forgot* that they were told a year before that they need to be quiet in a public place. I however did not have any 2 year olds like that, teaching them appropriate behavior was an ongoing thing when they were that age. Now that they are older comes the little reminders, but not at two.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Her parents let her scream when she was a kid.


We only have the OP's story that makes her out to be a monster. I have said she was wrong but the OP was wrong too.

Errors caused:

1) OP takes an over tired kid out.
2) Kid starts to screech and the OP does nothing to stop it (if she did she would have state it).
3) Older women in an ECV (who the OP called names in a later post) asks her to control herself.
4) OP does not ignore her or say something with sorry in it but confronts the women.
5) The women calls the kids a brat.
6) OP then comments back.

So 4 mistakes were made by the OP and 2 by the women. Seems the OP did more wrong. What is her excuse for her bad behavior. She is an adult just like the lady.

So what was the mean younger ladies excuse?[/QUOTE]

I'm telling you- probably bloomers that were too tight. That makes everybody grouchy.

 

[ols386]

I agree 110%. She has five children, so she's entitled. Please. Honestly.

Having children is a choice - there are no awards for popping out a whole slew. She chooses to do this, then complains that she has no time to get her job done, then says she's the head of the roost, and we should all put up with it because her child is precious and kids will be kids...

I have never said anything to anyone with a screeching child - it's not the child's fault - it's the parent's fault. Epic fail. I'd say something to the parent, but why bother? Obviously, they couldn't give two cents - why waste my time?

Was the woman who made a comment right or wrong? Doesn't matter - it wouldn't have ever happened if the mother was respectful to those around her and did her job as a mother.

Planes, trains - no comparison - it's freaking Walmart for crying out loud. Let your child have a nap then go. If she's screeching - remember this: the world does not revolve around you or she - get the hell out. What the hell ever happened to manners and consideration in this world? Never mind, teaching yoru child appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.

Crap happens - I get it - but seriously - she wasn't even crying - she was screeching - which is what this child was doing in Target today. "Stop it honey," said the mother with the glazed over look. I tried to get away. Everywhere I went, there they were.

You could hear the child throughout the store - Brat didn't even begin to describe this devil spawn's screech. The mother - what a joke - she was shopping for halloween stuff - seriously - life and death? I saw her at the register - anything absolutely mandatory in there? Halloween costume, candy, bath towels? No formula, no food, no tampons, nothing that couldn't have waited a day, two days, a week.

Anyway - you choose to have five kids - be prepared to make them your responsibility - not mine, not someone old bag's. YOU shop online!! Why should I? Get over yourself. Your equipment works - doesn't give you a license to be self-centered and rude.

You engaged her - your child was disruptive - you should have apologized and said you're going as fast as you can. You started with the mouth because you're righteous and entitled because you popped out five kids - it's hard...deal with it. Your choice. No one else's.

Is the Dis harsh? Not so much. This is how most people feel - this whackadoodle entitlement attitude of some breeders these days is just mindboggling.

Mothers actually take the time to mother - not ignore their child and expect everyone else to deal.

OMG, this is the most judgmental post I think I've ever read on the dis.

We all have that tendency to judge, me included....but this is so far out there, that it's ridiculous.

And the comment about the "breeders" is so un-called for.

 

[wdwfan16]

I'm telling you- probably bloomers that were too tight. That makes everybody grouchy.

I did not read your post first. I could have saved myself much typing if I did!!!!

Got to get looser bloomers to hand out when women get *****y at Walmart.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Ladies, ladies, ladies (and gentlemen)----this thread has turned into something that isn't constructive. It isn't about blame---was the mom wrong for letting the kids shreek, or for not leaving the store so the little one could take a nap. It isn't about if the women who made her unkind remark. Some awful comments about the OP have been made here---without any of as knowing her,or her children , her life or her circumstances. Heck, we don't even know her favorite tv show, or if she like brussels sprouts or lima beans.

But this is what I do know. As the old saying goes--it takes a village. We as women should be offering constructive and compassionate advice. Heck ladies, she is one of us. The imperfect mom, who is learning as she goes, doing some things to perfection and totally failing in others. We can offer our advice and viewpoints, but be constructive.

I have been in line in back of the women who is trying to make the escape from the grocery store because 2 year old Johnny is having his meltdown. You have all seen that women, haven't you---the one not sure if she should cry, or scream at the kid to just shut up. She is the one trying to bribe the kid with the box of cookies she just bought, but that kid throws them on the floor and screams louder. She swipes her debit card and in her frustration types in the wrong pin, and has the re-do the debit card machine thing again. There is no bagger so she throwing the toilet bowl cleaner in the same bag with the banana's. I am the observer, until I take the initiative. I try to get the kids attention----pretend to play with the little one, make funny faces anything to divert the kids attention for 10 seconds. I turn to mom and say, one of those days-huh. I tell her don't worry, its happened TO ALL OF US!!! And for just a second before Johnny starts round 2, mom knows she is part of something bigger, and that we as women can stand and help constructively and with compassion.

Just thought this was worth repeating!