My DD14 has her first date tonight!!!

[czycropper]

Ok, I had to share this because it's kind of funny how she was asked and her very delayed reaction! I'll try to be as brief as possible

So, Thursday she and I are driving to see A Chorus Line, and she asks me if it's ok if she goes to the movies with T on Saturday; I said sure (we know him and his Dad); then I ask is anyone else going and she said I don't know but I'll text him; he texts back and she's real quiet ; we have lunch and then see the show and on the way home, I say to her "He's asking you on a date". She says "I just realized it" I just started laughing inside because the look on her face was priceless! He was in a couple of community theatre plays with her and he stops by her locker almost every day!

Yes, she's going but wants to make it clear to him that she doesn't want any "relationship" since a friend of hers likes him and she sort of likes someone else. They're meeting at the movies. Oh, he's also a sophomore (she's taking after her Mom in high school and going out with "older" guy ) and she's a freshman.

 

[Katy Belle]

I hope she has a great time!

A few years ago DS17 came home from the movies and says to me, "Apparently that was a date." Hee-hee. A girl had invited him to the movie, but he assumed it would be a group, which is what they usually do! He even invited his BFF, who is female, but luckily she didn't come. When he got there, the girl bought his ticket for him, held his hand, put her head on his shoulder! LOL! So he had his first date without clueing in!

 

[lynxstch]

Good luck to her..and you, lol!

 

[Stitchfans]

Kids are growing up too fast. It still amazes me how young they are dating, compared to when I was a teen. My parents had a rule that I had to be 16 before I could date. But now, 12 year old girls are having babies.

There is allot of girls in this area who's plan is by the age of 16 to be married and pregnant. My goal back then at that age was to graduate high school.

 

[njcarita]

Ok, I had to share this because it's kind of funny how she was asked and her very delayed reaction! I'll try to be as brief as possible

So, Thursday she and I are driving to see A Chorus Line, and she asks me if it's ok if she goes to the movies with T on Saturday; I said sure (we know him and his Dad); then I ask is anyone else going and she said I don't know but I'll text him; he texts back and she's real quiet ; we have lunch and then see the show and on the way home, I say to her "He's asking you on a date". She says "I just realized it" I just started laughing inside because the look on her face was priceless! He was in a couple of community theatre plays with her and he stops by her locker almost every day!

Yes, she's going but wants to make it clear to him that she doesn't want any "relationship" since a friend of hers likes him and she sort of likes someone else. They're meeting at the movies. Oh, he's also a sophomore (she's taking after her Mom in high school and going out with "older" guy ) and she's a freshman.

why is she going out with him if shes not interested????? i feel bad for the boy now...if he thinks its date and she going to meet him and she say not interested??? i guess i am just seeing it thru the boys eyes ( i have a 17 year old son) takes alot of nerve to ask a girl out...............and my 14 year old daughter gets asked out ( weekly) and hasnt dated yet cause shes not interested in the boys that have asked her out....and she says she not dating UNLESS she really likes them..and doesnt want to date just to date..... just asking???? never understood why accepting a date if ur not interested??? ..................................but besides all my question I hope she has fun......you remember your first date your whole life.....

 

[sookie]

Kids are growing up too fast. It still amazes me how young they are dating, compared to when I was a teen. My parents had a rule that I had to be 16 before I could date. But now, 12 year old girls are having babies.

There is allot of girls in this area who's plan is by the age of 16 to be married and pregnant. My goal back then at that age was to graduate high school.

There is nothing wrong with a freshman going with a sophomore to a date, approved by her parents. Especially when she is being upfront with her parents about the location, time, and who she is going with.

I'm not sure how this is relevant.

OP I hope your daughter had a great time on her very first date!

 

[sookie]

why is she going out with him if shes not interested????? i feel bad for the boy now...if he thinks its date and she going to meet him and she say not interested??? i guess i am just seeing it thru the boys eyes ( i have a 17 year old son) takes alot of nerve to ask a girl out...............and my 14 year old daughter gets asked out ( weekly) and hasnt dated yet cause shes not interested in the boys that have asked her out....and she says she not dating UNLESS she really likes them..and doesnt want to date just to date..... just asking???? never understood why accepting a date if ur not interested??? ..................................but besides all my question I hope she has fun......you remember your first date your whole life.....

I went on a date with a guy I really wasn't interested in. I gave him a chance - and I'm married to him 11 years later. He is sweet, sensitive and funny. I'm glad I did it because I was going on the premise that I wanted to have fun with him and get to know him better. It's a single date; not the end of the world and it isn't an engagement or anything serious.

She is 14. Let's not be too critical. If she was 24, I'd give the same advice - one date won't hurt. She isn't getting married anyway - she is going on a first date! Let the kid live a little!

 

[PaulaSB12]

Kids are growing up too fast. It still amazes me how young they are dating, compared to when I was a teen. My parents had a rule that I had to be 16 before I could date. But now, 12 year old girls are having babies.

There is allot of girls in this area who's plan is by the age of 16 to be married and pregnant. My goal back then at that age was to graduate high school.

When I was in school many many years ago there where a couple of 12 year old pregnant girls we just hear about it more thats all. As for growing up too soon when people consider 18 -22 year olds still kids no they dont we just baby them too old.

 

[I Love Pluto]

Every child is different at various age stages in life. I think it is really cute that she is going on a date. I hope she has a wonderful time!

BUT - I do agree with the poster who added not to lead a boy on if she isn't interested in him at all. It will hurt the boy in the long run when she dumps him. Leading a guy on when a girl isn't interested is wrong. Guys have feelings, too.

 

[njcarita]

I went on a date with a guy I really wasn't interested in. I gave him a chance - and I'm married to him 11 years later. He is sweet, sensitive and funny. I'm glad I did it because I was going on the premise that I wanted to have fun with him and get to know him better. It's a single date; not the end of the world and it isn't an engagement or anything serious.

She is 14. Let's not be too critical. If she was 24, I'd give the same advice - one date won't hurt. She isn't getting married anyway - she is going on a first date! Let the kid live a little!

oh i am trying not to be critical..........her mom posted that she already was going to tell him shes not interested because she likes someone else and her friend likes him......... if she was just going out to see if she likes him thats different............ and I agree gosh shes just 14 but it takes ive seen what it takes for a boy to get the nerve up to ask a girl out......if they say yes they "think" the girl at least likes them .............not that she going planning to say not interested from the get go......

 

[njcarita]

Ok, I had to share this because it's kind of funny how she was asked and her very delayed reaction! I'll try to be as brief as possible

So, Thursday she and I are driving to see A Chorus Line, and she asks me if it's ok if she goes to the movies with T on Saturday; I said sure (we know him and his Dad); then I ask is anyone else going and she said I don't know but I'll text him; he texts back and she's real quiet ; we have lunch and then see the show and on the way home, I say to her "He's asking you on a date". She says "I just realized it" I just started laughing inside because the look on her face was priceless! He was in a couple of community theatre plays with her and he stops by her locker almost every day!

Yes, she's going but wants to make it clear to him that she doesn't want any "relationship" since a friend of hers likes him and she sort of likes someone else. They're meeting at the movies. Oh, he's also a sophomore (she's taking after her Mom in high school and going out with "older" guy ) and she's a freshman.

this is what i was referring to..................shes going out to make clear shes not interested?????

 

[McKelly]

Having a teenage girl.....I would be more worried about the "friend who likes him" finding out then the boy. Teenage girls are vicious! One boy, one girl = date. Having had "male friends" in my youth, no matter how many times I told onlookers that we were "just friends" and we were not dating....NOBODY believed me. I am so glad I am not a teenager anymore...it's difficult enough parenting them.

 

[MichelleVW]

Having a teenage girl.....I would be more worried about the "friend who likes him" finding out then the boy. Teenage girls are vicious! One boy, one girl = date. Having had "male friends" in my youth, no matter how many times I told onlookers that we were "just friends" and we were not dating....NOBODY believed me. I am so glad I am not a teenager anymore...it's difficult enough parenting them.

Agreed. My DD went to the movies with a boy in high school that her friend "liked". The boy didn't like the other girl and after the other girl found out that my DD went to the movies with him, stopped being my DD's friend.

 

[njcarita]

so how did it go???

 

[MrsDuck]

so how did it go???

Yes, tell us! Inquiring minds want to know!

 

[pixiewings71]

Kids are growing up too fast. It still amazes me how young they are dating, compared to when I was a teen. My parents had a rule that I had to be 16 before I could date. But now, 12 year old girls are having babies.

There is allot of girls in this area who's plan is by the age of 16 to be married and pregnant. My goal back then at that age was to graduate high school.

12 year olds have been having babies for years, unfortunately this is nothing new. My ex-MIL (who I love) was a midwife at a low income facility for years, she saw many 12 year old girls having babies.

Agreed. My DD went to the movies with a boy in high school that her friend "liked". The boy didn't like the other girl and after the other girl found out that my DD went to the movies with him, stopped being my DD's friend.

My DD's would say "good riddance" to a "friend" who acted like that.

OP how did it go? I hope they had fun, whether it was a date or not.

 

[padams]

why is she going out with him if shes not interested????? i feel bad for the boy now...if he thinks its date and she going to meet him and she say not interested??? i guess i am just seeing it thru the boys eyes ( i have a 17 year old son) takes alot of nerve to ask a girl out...............and my 14 year old daughter gets asked out ( weekly) and hasnt dated yet cause shes not interested in the boys that have asked her out....and she says she not dating UNLESS she really likes them..and doesnt want to date just to date..... just asking???? never understood why accepting a date if ur not interested??? ..................................but besides all my question I hope she has fun......you remember your first date your whole life.....

Why go out with someone on a date to tell him that you're not interested? How incredibly rude!

 

[Elmo9607]

It would also be incredibly rude to string him along...I always appreciated when people were upfront with me. And yes, I've gone out on dates with people I wasn't totally interested in, just to see what would happen between me and the guy. I've also turned people down.

One date doesn't set the course for an entire life, it won't result in lifetime scars, and geesh, the poor girl is only 14. Of course hindsight is always 20/20, but when you're 14 you just don't know how to deal with things like this. Let her live a little and her figure out how these kind of things should best be
handled by herself.

As for her friends finding out...that's the only concern I have. I as in a similar situation for awhile in high school where I was dating someone for 1 1/2 years that my best friend happened to like (she had turned him down numerous times before him & I got together ) and as a result she and a bunch of my other friends dumped me after spreading some nasty rumors. It sucked for a bit, but I don't regret any of it now and I'm very, very glad she is not my friend anymore.

OP, I would make sure she knows to tread lightly with her friend who likes the guy, but honestly, if the friend would resort to anything nasty to your DD over this one date, she's not worth having as a friend. My guess is she would rather drop the guy and keep the friend...that is only up for her to decide. Good luck!

 

[njcarita]

Yes, tell us! Inquiring minds want to know!

lol......

 

[HFC1969]

Too fun!

DW was 15 when she "asked me" out...

23 years later...