My dd is a young lady now! (Ladies post)

[Shel]

She's 11 & just shared w/me matter of factly today that she started her period. Luckily I'm the type of mom that had shared those particular facts of life with her, so she was prepared & not at all scared or nervous. It just seems like it was yesterday I was potty training her though.

Question - Mom's, how do you make sure they're doing ok with this new part of their life without getting into their personal space?

 

[Nutsy]

Oh gosh I remember the day that happened to me.........all those years ago.

I can't answer you question tho, as I've no daughters. I have 2 boys.

All the best with it all tho

 

[RNMOM]

I bet she's gotten some "advice" listening to the other girls at school as they have gone through it. How about asking her if things are going okay, do you need to ask me anything? This is a major milestone for her and for you.

 

[Pooh93]

I have no advice, but wanted to offer you a {HUG} from one mom to another. My oldest dd is 8 and I'm sure I will feel the same way about her growing up so fast when this day comes.

 

[tkd lisa]

Hugs to you. We're nearing this milestone as well with my 11 1/2 year old. It seems like everyone she knows has already had this happen. They are getting younger and younger when puberty hits. I posted a thread about 2 months ago about how to "recognize" this milestone, and got many comments.

My question was should we do a special mom and daughter day in celebration. I'd say about 60% of people thought that the girl would be embarassed by this and that we should just treat it like any other day. I asked my DD if she would like to do something special when it happens. Her answer was "oh, yes. Can we do something like high tea (one of her favorite special things) with shopping at the mall?" She said that she'd really like to do something special for it.

In my opinion, just spending some one-on-one mom and daughter time will give her the chance to bring up any worries she has. i.e. things she might now want to "bother" you about when you aren't specifically focusing on the fact that something is different now.

Anyway, to each their own, that's just how I plan to deal with it when it happens.

 

[Pop Daddy]

my daughter is 11, and she hopes everyday she starts

 

[zurgswife]

My dd was 10 when she started...so at 12 she is an old pro....LOL!!! she was scared and nervous at first (she was the first in her class) but now she is fine....I checked in every month in the beginning to make sure things were going OK...and in the beginning it was regular for a few months and then skipped a few months

Good luck..

 

[mickeyboat]

I started when I was 12. I told my mother and she gave me my space because she had prepared me well. However, I was horrified when she said she had told my father and we were going to Dairy Queen to celebrate!

 

[browneyes]

Congrats to your dd. My dd is eager to be a young woman herself. I told her to enjoy not being a young woman while she can.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

We are awaiting this to happen at our home too. My DD is 12. She talks to me about everything, so I know she will come to me. I'm not sure how I'll go about making sure she's ok. I guess maybe just asking, "do you feel ok, do you have cramps, can I get you a Tylenol, do you need more *stuff*" that kind of thing. One thing I won't do is what my parents did. Took me out to dinner, bought me clothes, jeesh, I was so embarassed. I can't imagine how I will feel when this happens. I look at her differently already now that she has more body parts. They're not little girls anymore, are they?!?

 

[keenercam]

My DD15 started when she was 12. I was terrified and thought she wasn't quite mature enough to deal with it, but she was really fine. I still ask her if she needs me to pick up any "stuff" for her and always offer her tylenol. The one thing I was NOT prepared for was the extreme moodiness. She has severe ADHD and the doctors warned us the mood swings are worse in girls with ADHD, so we were forewarned, but definitely could not have been forearmed. UGH! I had NO idea how extreme this would be -- she would become alternately bi***y and incredibly inconsolably depressed 3 days before, like clockwork--I definitely preferred the nastiness over the depression. She would also develop terrible headaches (I get a blazing migraine almost exactly 48 hours before I start).

I am pleased to report that all of that has leveled out and exercise or any type of physical activity on a regular basis seems to make a big difference in preventing the highs and lows caused by hormonal changes.

My biggest crisis now is that her school nurse recommended the birth control pill to help lessen the severity of her periods. Can you imagine!!! I was flabbergasted!!!

 

[zulaya]

keenercam - I know it sounds weird, but BC pills really do lessen your period and the symptoms. I have several friends who started on them, not because they needed the "birth control", but purely to make their periods more managable. These women went from heavy 6-7 day periods with horrific cramping, to light to moderate 3-5 days with little to no cramping at all. It was a total lifestyle improvement for them.

 

[FOJMO]

My DD18 was NINE when she got hers! She all of a sudden wanted to "do her own laundry." I took the opportunity to just go ahead and explain the whole "birds and bees" thing to her.

That afternoon, it was so ironic to see her sitting on the living room floor, playing with her Barbie dolls. A woman, but still a little girl...

She's off to college later this year -- how time flies!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Girls start young in my family too. I was 11 (and prepared) and my mom was 9. My neice is 11 and developing at a rate that makes her mom think she'll start soon too.

I remember , to make me feel better , my mom took me out shopping for some pretty new clothes to make me feel grown up and special and not weird.

I always felt bad for the girls I knew who didn't know what it was when it hit them.

On BC pills - I've been on BC for a long time, since possibly age 12 or 13 because they aren't *just* for BC. They are the only thing that has ever proven effective in clearing up my skin and lesening my cramps. They also do shorten the period. I also used to get very moody and depressed during that time and BC helped curb that too.

 

[Lorix2]

Sounds like you've prepared her well, I'll bet if she has concerns or questions, she's going to come to you anyway.

My DD is 11.5 - so it could be anytime now.

I was 11 myself and my mom took me out to dinner that night. She told the waitress "my daughter became a woman today"...I almost choked on my chicken tenders...I'll never forget the embarrassment I felt. I also lived with my dad as they were divorced, so I had go to him to get "stuff". He was so funny..."ah...what's your mothers number???" He was so nervous and the only words of advice was "you know you can't go swimming in the pool right?" LOL!!! No clue...

 

[keenercam]

Thanks so much for the words of advice, everyone. I definitely know the benefits of the BCP as far as lessening symptoms and duration, but the thought of it scares the hell out of me, especially when I know how many hs students are having sex. I just have this impression of it taking away one huge disincentive. I know, I know, that is totally unreasonable and not even accurate, but it is still an impression that I can not get rid of. She is very voluptuous and so very pretty, and I worry SO much that one day she is going to wake up and realize that.
If I could figure out how to put an image in my text, I would show you what I mean. Guess I am not so far away from my very old-world Italian parents, after all.

 

[Robmom]

My DD is 11 and she is waiting for it to happen. I keep telling her that it is something that you will hate for many years, so be happy now that you don't have it yet. But I know how it is to be that age and just want to fit in with your friends. I started when I was 10, so maybe her day will be coming soon.

 

[Gette88]

My DD is 13 and hasn't gotten it yet and doesn't want to. When she was younger she couldn't wait but now she hopes it never comes. Most of her friends haven't gotten it yet either, some have. I have stuff for her and she knows where it is. She was not happy when I told her we are prepared when the time comes, she actually cried. A sure sign that her visitor is not far away. I just hope I don't cry when she tells me. My mom did and it was awful

 

[Kirby]

My daughter, Carol, started at the first of this year, just about two weeks shy of her 13th birthday. She has been asking me questions about having a period for over a year now so was not scared when it finally happened. She was very excited and wanted to be the one to tell her dad. She even spoke of it openly in front of her older (15) brother who wisely kept his mouth shut. He somehow understood that this was an important part of her life.

She's told her PE coach (a woman) and consulted her on the advisability of participating in PE during her period, in which her coach told her that it was just fine and that it would probably help her cramps if she had any. Carol checked this fact out with me and I told her the same. Carol also let the school nurse know and the nurse is a doll, letting her go into the clinic restroom to do her stuff.

After many conversations, what to expect now that she's started, what not to flush down the toilet (she's a plumber's daughter so she already knew that), she has gotten through it with flying colors. I honestly was dreading this but so far its been okay.

 

[swanmom]

My DD is 10 1/2 now and shows absolutely no physical signs of preparing for puberty. (Not that I'm upset by that.........I'll keep my 'little girl' as long as I can!) But I was wondering, does anyone know if the age of onset has anything to do with genetics? I was extremely late in starting (almost 16) and wonder if she's got the same genes as her mom.