My daughter was beaten up at school Another UPDATE PAGE 15

[JennyMominRI]

Which is why a restraining order (order of protection) is so important. Once this girl has been arraigned you have reasonable cause to request this without jumping through hoops. Glad to hear she is actually being arraigned, that means the DA is involved. Have you asked them to consider trying ehr as an adult due to the premeditated nature of the incident?

Anne

No,but I'm going to talk to my brother about that tomorrow. He would probably know the best person to go to for that,and I'm sure he can help with the restraining order

 

[barkley]

sorry your dd is going through this-but glad the police are acting on it.

just as an aside regarding the ability of private schools to address this issue-it's been my experience as a parent that private schools may talk a great talk on having zero tolerance but when push comes to shove they are not always quick to act in these cases. when i taught at a christian school there were 2 boys (unrelated, diffferent ages) who both had obvious issues with anger management and violence-they had severly injured other kids (preschool and elementary age)-although the school had a zero tolerance policy they always took the 'we need to help these kids' attitude and kept giving them chance after chance after chance. the teachers implored the administration to take action because we feared a child (or teacher) would get permanantly disabled from their behaviours-but not until the kids acted out in a public setting and the police and the family courts became involved did the school admit they were unable to address the problems.

i've had experiences with my kid's current christian school (again zero tolerance policy) wherein i've observed a couple of different boys lose control and have major anger meltdowns (one almost resulting in a teacher being attacked as she tried to wrestle a chair out of the boys hands as he was attempting to bash in another child's head). in both cases i reported my concerns to administration, but until i removed both my children for a week and pointed out to the school and their oversight agency their own policies and how i would hold them civily and crimanaly liable should my children ever be injured due to their failure to enforce their own policies-there was again the "we have to be patient and try to help these kids" attitude.

i would suggest any parent considering a private school do research into the actual usage of their stated "zero tolerance policy"-if a school says they have NEVER had to enforce they are either lying or they are failing to address the situations when they DO occur.

p.s. both boys at my kids school were ultimatly removed and both were mandated by their new schools to attend counseling and anger managment classes (well, one boy's mom refused to aknowledge her son's problems and is now homeschooling him-but since the final straw for her son was when she "went off" on the school board i can see how she did'nt see his behaviour as a problem ).

 

[kmp1191]

How's it going today? Any news from the school or your DD? Hope you are all hanging in there!!

 

[JennyMominRI]

No new news today,although DD isn't home from school yet..My brtoher is looking into things to get a better Idea of what is going on with the girl ,and has advised us who to contact about a restraining order

 

[ducklite]

No new news today,although DD isn't home from school yet..My brtoher is looking into things to get a better Idea of what is going on with the girl ,and has advised us who to contact about a restraining order

Good Jenny! You and your daughter have been in my thoughts the past couple days.

Anne

 

[JennyMominRI]

Good Jenny! You and your daughter have been in my thoughts the past couple days.

Anne

I also just found out that the girl has a hearing before the school board next Monday AM.. The AP will be there recommending Expulsion/removal to another school.

 

[FergieTCat]

Jenny --

You originally said your daughter was attacked by 2 girls. Why is only one girl receiving disciplinary action?

I also just found out that the girl has a hearing before the school board next Monday AM.. The AP will be there recommending Expulsion/removal to another school.

 

[monsterkitty]

My worry is that she will be automatically sent into the same high school with DD when she starts next year.

There are laws in many states that if a student is convicted of a crime against another student, the offender is not allowed to attend any school that the victim or a family member attends. For example, if a student assults another student and is found guilty in a court of law or pleads guilty, the offender can never enter the school doors of the victim or his/her family.

Last year I witnessed a student attack another student. While the victim was on the ground, the offenders' girlfriend stepped over the boy and kicked him in the head. Both the boy and his girl friend were expelled for one full calendar year (state law). When they can re-enter the school system in April, they cannot attend this school or the high school where the victim attends.

In addition, the friends and siblings of the two students began harrassing me as I was the key witness in court, so they were expelled from school. They cannot attend this school or the schools that my family members teach in.

Check to see if your state or even the school district has a law or rule such as this.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Jenny --

You originally said your daughter was attacked by 2 girls. Why is only one girl receiving disciplinary action?

My very first post was made after speaking to the school nurse,who said that 2 girls were involved.Only one girl physically touched my daughter,and that's why she has been charged and not girl 2..Girl 2 was involved in the first incident with throwing food at my DD and was suspended then

 

[kc10family]

sorry your dd is going through this-but glad the police are acting on it.

just as an aside regarding the ability of private schools to address this issue-it's been my experience as a parent that private schools may talk a great talk on having zero tolerance but when push comes to shove they are not always quick to act in these cases. when i taught at a christian school there were 2 boys (unrelated, diffferent ages) who both had obvious issues with anger management and violence-they had severly injured other kids (preschool and elementary age)-although the school had a zero tolerance policy they always took the 'we need to help these kids' attitude and kept giving them chance after chance after chance. the teachers implored the administration to take action because we feared a child (or teacher) would get permanantly disabled from their behaviours-but not until the kids acted out in a public setting and the police and the family courts became involved did the school admit they were unable to address the problems.

i've had experiences with my kid's current christian school (again zero tolerance policy) wherein i've observed a couple of different boys lose control and have major anger meltdowns (one almost resulting in a teacher being attacked as she tried to wrestle a chair out of the boys hands as he was attempting to bash in another child's head). in both cases i reported my concerns to administration, but until i removed both my children for a week and pointed out to the school and their oversight agency their own policies and how i would hold them civily and crimanaly liable should my children ever be injured due to their failure to enforce their own policies-there was again the "we have to be patient and try to help these kids" attitude.

i would suggest any parent considering a private school do research into the actual usage of their stated "zero tolerance policy"-if a school says they have NEVER had to enforce they are either lying or they are failing to address the situations when they DO occur.

p.s. both boys at my kids school were ultimatly removed and both were mandated by their new schools to attend counseling and anger managment classes (well, one boy's mom refused to aknowledge her son's problems and is now homeschooling him-but since the final straw for her son was when she "went off" on the school board i can see how she did'nt see his behaviour as a problem ).

I am interested in the school you are speaking of. I know we live in the same general area and we only have a few christian schools in town. I have DD in preschool at VCS and am thinking of staying, so if you don't mind, I would love to know what school you speak of. DD did have some problems while in the toddler center w/ a boy hitting and knocking her down and he did stay at the school. I also know of another boy who hits, and bites sometimes. If you don't mind I would like to hear what you have to say. Thank you.

Jenny, I am glad things are moving along and hope for the best w/ your DD.

 

[Kristi1357]

I love the restraining order idea - leave the biggest paper trail you can on this girl! And definately get one on the sister if the harrassment keeps up.

Hang in there, Jenny!

 

[ducklite]

Just checking to see if there are any new developments Jenny...

Anne

 

[JennyMominRI]

Just checking to see if there are any new developments Jenny...

Anne

Nothing new today..DD hasn't been bothered by anyone at school for the last 2 days..Monday should be the day we find out if she has been removed from school.. My borther says that's odds of getting her tried as an adult are very slim in the *liberal* state

 

[nwdisgal]

If this girl has issues, she might be "classified". Under Federal Law, classified students can not be suspecnded for more than eight ot ten (sorry, I'm rusty on this these days) in a school year, and not for more than a certain number of days at a time. which I want to think is five. That could actually be the case, and as such it would be a violation of the girls privacy for them to tell this to Jenny.

My guess is taht she will be sent to an out of district placement for ED kids, because it sounds like it's quite possible she's got some psyc issues.

As far as the name calling sister, completely unacceptable and depending on the tone, and I'd make the administration aware that if it keeps up you'll be reporting it to the police as harrassment. I don't know RI law (except they're really messed up when it comes to fires that kill 100 people--but that's another thread ) but most states all it takes is for someone to feel for their personal safety when being harrassed and it can be considering an assualt.

Anne

JennyMominRI - I just read this thread. I hope your daughter is doing well and I wish both of you the best.

I agree with what Anne said. It sounds like this girl that picked on your daughter belongs in a school for emotionally disturbed kids. I hope the school authorities realize that and put her in that type of program. She is clearly a danger to her peers.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Small update..The mother and daughter never even showed up to their hearing before the school board yesterday. We are trying to find out exactly what this means. Hopefully I will have more news later.

 

[budbeerlady]

Small update..The mother and daughter never even showed up to their hearing before the school board yesterday. We are trying to find out exactly what this means. Hopefully I will have more news later.

Hopefully it means they are out, if they didnt bother to show or have a good reason why? Glad to hear things are going alright at school for your dd!

 

[Microcell]

I love the restraining order idea - leave the biggest paper trail you can on this girl! And definately get one on the sister if the harrassment keeps up.

Hang in there, Jenny!

I hope thigs get better and she is permenantly removed from the school.

I was told in my state that a minor cannot have a restraining order issued against them. Can you believe that?

I worry about my school district. My neighbor got beat up a couple of weeks ago by a sixteen year old. He did not hit back to begin with (he has in the past and he got suspended for defending himself, and he really likes a votech program he goes to that has zero tolerance so he usually does not defend himself). This time there was a witness to it who reported the 16 year old did most of the hitting, but that my neighbor hit back one time, and he was suspended!!!! His one hit to the other guys twenty to thirty. My neighbors mom attempted to get a restaining order only to be told they couldn't get one.

You know what started the fight? The 16 year old said my neighbor was staring at him on the votech bus! The bus drivers remedy was to move my neighbor to the back of the bus!!! The victim!

 

[JennyMominRI]

Well,from what the people at the school district have said, she can't go back to school if she hasn't gone before the board.. We are waiting to hear from the AP,to make sure that if she even tries to go back to that school tomorrow ,she will be escorted out

 

[ducklite]

Small update..The mother and daughter never even showed up to their hearing before the school board yesterday. We are trying to find out exactly what this means. Hopefully I will have more news later.

Well, my guess is that it won't be an autoatic expulsion, but rather the school will notify CPS/Truancy and let them know that the mother is hindering the child's educational process.

That opens another can of worms.

Anne

 

[ducklite]

Well,from what the people at the school district have said, she can't go back to school if she hasn't gone before the board.. We are waiting to hear from the AP,to make sure that if she even tries to go back to that school tomorrow ,she will be escorted out

This gets tricky if she's classified. They legally can't keep her out of school, even if she defies a board order to appear. They CAN however keep her in in school suspension. But to deny her access to school if she's classified, they're in big trouble. They can keep her out of school if they provide in home tutoring though. All this is only if she's classified--and with her history I can't imagine she doens't have an ED label. It would benefit the school as they would get additional Federal funding for her education.

Anne