My daughter was beaten up at school Another UPDATE PAGE 15

[JennyMominRI]

This gets tricky if she's classified. They legally can't keep her out of school, even if she defies a board order to appear. They CAN however keep her in in school suspension. But to deny her access to school if she's classified, they're in big trouble. They can keep her out of school if they provide in home tutoring though. All this is only if she's classified--and with her history I can't imagine she doens't have an ED label. It would benefit the school as they would get additional Federal funding for her education.

Anne

I don't believe the school has in school suspension

 

[JennyMominRI]

OK,Now I'm seriously angry..This girl is back in school. She had her hearing this moring and they let her go back..She IS a special needs kid and they claim that is the most they can do to here,even though the WPS website mention.. 10 and 15 days suspension .They alo said that even with a restraining order she will stil got to school there,they will just keep them in seperate classes and lunches.. I'm really not sure what I should do now

 

[ducklite]

I guess I read that one spot on.

Now I have your next solution. (Aren't I just a bundle on answers on this one LOL!)

You place a call to your state department of education. While the girl is entitled to a free public education in the least restrictive environment, it is not at the expense of the safety and well being of other students. See how far you get with them.

Also, write a letter and send it registered mail to the school board, letting them know that your daughters rights are being violated, and that they can either do an out of district placement for the ED kid, or they can fork over the tuition for your daughter, because it is inappropriate (use that word) to force them to both be in the same school based on the physical violence against your daughter. Expect to get pushback. That's OK. Just keep squeaking, eventually they will get tired of dealing with you and make it right. Also make is exceedingly clear to them that you will hold them personally responsible for any further offnse against your daughter, and are not afraid to seek legal counsel for an equitable remedy.

Good luck.

Anne

 

[Toby'sFriend]

It is really tricky Jenny. So many kids have IEPs and other forms that pretty much give them carte blanc to terrorize the school in whatever manner they please with very little consequence or protection for the other students.

I can remember when my son was in the first grade and a School Psychologist offerred HIM Alternative Discipline language on his forms during out meeting. I was like "huh? Why in the world would he not be expected to behave? Last I heard broken eardrums are not a cause for Criminal Activity."

Does your District offer an Alternative Education Campus for kids that have a history of behavioral incidents? That is where she needs to go.

 

[Disney Doll]

I guess I read that one spot on.

Now I have your next solution. (Aren't I just a bundle on answers on this one LOL!)

You place a call to your state department of education. While the girl is entitled to a free public education in the least restrictive environment, it is not at the expense of the safety and well being of other students. See how far you get with them.

Also, write a letter and send it registered mail to the school board, letting them know that your daughters rights are being violated, and that they can either do an out of district placement for the ED kid, or they can fork over the tuition for your daughter, because it is inappropriate (use that word) to force them to both be in the same school based on the physical violence against your daughter. Expect to get pushback. That's OK. Just keep squeaking, eventually they will get tired of dealing with you and make it right. Also make is exceedingly clear to them that you will hold them personally responsible for any further offnse against your daughter, and are not afraid to seek legal counsel for an equitable remedy.

Good luck.

Anne

Again, very good advice.

Ducklite, you have obviously been through this, for which I am sorry, but your experience in how to deal with it is invaluable.

 

[nliedel]

My best advice? Hire an attorney. Not to sue, although it may come to that, but to make sure your daughters rights are protected. It sounds to me like they are so bent on protecting the abusive girl that they are not as worried about your daughter. Also were the police involved? If not why not? Can you call them now?

document EVERYTHING. Write it all down. The times of every phone call, every single encounter and call the school if this girl says word one to your daughter. Your daughter should not have to change her life to avoid an abusive situation and an abuser.

 

[JennyMominRI]

My best advice? Hire an attorney. Not to sue, although it may come to that, but to make sure your daughters rights are protected. It sounds to me like they are so bent on protecting the abusive girl that they are not as worried about your daughter. Also were the police involved? If not why not? Can you call them now?

document EVERYTHING. Write it all down. The times of every phone call, every single encounter and call the school if this girl says word one to your daughter. Your daughter should not have to change her life to avoid an abusive situation and an abuser.

The girl was arrested and charges are being pressed

 

[denisenh]

oh Jenny, I feel so awful for you and your daughter. (I would have posted earlier but we have been away)


My 13 year old was beat up by another girl a few weeks ago. We pressed charges (haven't heard a thing about that yet) and the girl got a 10 day suspension....not enough in my opinion. I went to the superintendent but she agreed with it saying that they had to be considerate of the girl that beat up my daughter too.

So that girl is back in school. In fact I think that my daughter being able to go back to school on a regular basis coincided with the end of the suspension. Who was more punished? My honors/advanced placement child or the ding a ling brat in foundations level classes that beat her up?

My daughter eventually had all of her classes changed so that it would minimize her contact with the girl that beat her up. Even though they are in different levels, they are on the same "team".

My daughter had some therapy sessions, on our dime of course, and is mostly ok now, I hope.

I think that most people are just used to society changing and are more tolerant of bad behaviors when they should be shocked by it. Its a bad thing.

 

[JennyMominRI]

oh Jenny, I feel so awful for you and your daughter. (I would have posted earlier but we have been away)


My 13 year old was beat up by another girl a few weeks ago. We pressed charges (haven't heard a thing about that yet) and the girl got a 10 day suspension....not enough in my opinion. I went to the superintendent but she agreed with it saying that they had to be considerate of the girl that beat up my daughter too.

So that girl is back in school. In fact I think that my daughter being able to go back to school on a regular basis coincided with the end of the suspension. Who was more punished? My honors/advanced placement child or the ding a ling brat in foundations level classes that beat her up?

My daughter eventually had all of her classes changed so that it would minimize her contact with the girl that beat her up. Even though they are in different levels, they are on the same "team".

My daughter had some therapy sessions, on our dime of course, and is mostly ok now, I hope.

I think that most people are just used to society changing and are more tolerant of bad behaviors when they should be shocked by it. Its a bad thing.

I think your DD should get together with my DD..Poor kids..My DD will have no warning that this girl is back in school until she most likely runs into her in the hall today.
I keep sending the other half emails with all of the info ducklite,and a few other have sent,as he has thus far been dealing with all of the officials.. I think he doesn't want me getting to stressed out dealing with it personally because of my own health

 

[nliedel]

The girl was arrested and charges are being pressed

You know I knew this but I am going through a thing right now and I am sorry for not remembering it.

You really do need an attorney. Again, not to sue but if your daughter is endangered because of this.. Well you don't want the worst case scenario.

 

[TheRatPack]

It wasn't until Junior High when I finally fought back (and kicked the crap outta them for once I am glad to say) that it finally stopped. I hate to condone violence, and have raised my children that fighting isn't right and doesn't solve many things, but my kids have also been told that if anyone ever lays a hand on you that you beat the mess outta them.

I agree, but secretly LOL My husband uses your rule above, take it once and tell someone, give them a warning if they persist and then beat the stew out of them. I have to be the 'I don't want you hitting anyone' parent so there is an equal balance.

But my ds started middle school this year and one of the other children messed with him, he came home and told me and told his instructor. The next day after school his band instructor called me in and explained that my ds had hit a boy. I was mad that he would fight someone after all these years of telling him no fighting. But then the teacher told me what had happened and said the other boy kept on and on and finally my ds had enough. (not sure why she didn't step in before it got to that point)The instructor told me that my ds would not be punished but just wanted to let me know what had happened and why he was upset.

He's not been messed with since!

 

[msdznyduck]

Unfortunatly, it doesn't end as quickly as you would like. If anyone remembers, my DD was assaulted in school in Sept. after going to school only 2 weeks. She was bitten by another student.........these girls are Sophomores in High School!!
To make a VERY long story short....we could not press charges, since she was a minor, the prosecutor's office did though, based on prior problems, both in school and out. SHe was charged with simple assault. Well, we pretty much thought everything was done, but the beginning of Feb., I received a letter from the prosecutor's office that the case was going to trial, and DD may have to appear as a witness, since the girl refused to plead guilty.....hello...there was a bite mark on DD's arm, near her elbow.....
Anyway, the case just finished yesterday.......probation for a year, 40 hours community service, psychological testing and possible counseling, and she has to write a letter of apology to DD.

Keep on top of things, it may take several months to work everything out.

to you and your family. I know how hard it is.

 

[ducklite]

I want to comment a little more on my previous post.

The term least restrictive environment (LRE) is one I'd like to touch on. It's used when developing an IEP for classified kids, regardless of the classification. For some kids LRE can be a regular classroom with a simple accomodation such as being in the front row or given longer/extra bathroom breaks. For others, it can mean being in that mainstream class with resource room help, or even a f/t aide in class with them.

Then there are kids who can't function in a mainstream classroom. It's not just a matter of learning, it's also social interaction with peers and teachers. This seems to be the case with this student, and often is with ED students.

Those students are placed in either a "self-contained" classroom, meaning they don't interact with other students in the school, and take all their subjects in that classroom together. Not all schools have a self-contained program, and in that case, they "outsource" if you will to either another district who does, a county-level school for ED students, or a private school for ED students.

Now, here's the catch. This all goes into an IEP. Parents are asked to meet and review the IEP with the appropriate parties from the school at least once a year. Parents can refuse any placement for any reason, and then the district generally has to have a court decide appropriate placement. It can be a drawn out process if emergent relief isn't sought by an agreived party.

Anyhow, she might be in a mainstream classroom because to this point her behaviour hasn't been disruptive enough for a SC class. Or it could also be a parent refusing to sign off on an IEP. Who knows. Either way, unfortunately you can't demand her IEP, however, what you can do is take a good cop approach. Call the school psycologist and suggest that it might be in this childs best interest to be out of the mainstream due to her already being in trouble with the police.

One other thing--has she been abusive towards any other students in the past? There is strength in numbers. I know my sons public school cringed when another parent of a special ed student mentioned my name or that they had been talking to me...

Anne

 

[JennyMominRI]

I want to comment a little more on my previous post.

The term least restrictive environment (LRE) is one I'd like to touch on. It's used when developing an IEP for classified kids, regardless of the classification. For some kids LRE can be a regular classroom with a simple accomodation such as being in the front row or given longer/extra bathroom breaks. For others, it can mean being in that mainstream class with resource room help, or even a f/t aide in class with them.

Then there are kids who can't function in a mainstream classroom. It's not just a matter of learning, it's also social interaction with peers and teachers. This seems to be the case with this student, and often is with ED students.

Those students are placed in either a "self-contained" classroom, meaning they don't interact with other students in the school, and take all their subjects in that classroom together. Not all schools have a self-contained program, and in that case, they "outsource" if you will to either another district who does, a county-level school for ED students, or a private school for ED students.

Now, here's the catch. This all goes into an IEP. Parents are asked to meet and review the IEP with the appropriate parties from the school at least once a year. Parents can refuse any placement for any reason, and then the district generally has to have a court decide appropriate placement. It can be a drawn out process if emergent relief isn't sought by an agreived party.

Anyhow, she might be in a mainstream classroom because to this point her behaviour hasn't been disruptive enough for a SC class. Or it could also be a parent refusing to sign off on an IEP. Who knows. Either way, unfortunately you can't demand her IEP, however, what you can do is take a good cop approach. Call the school psycologist and suggest that it might be in this childs best interest to be out of the mainstream due to her already being in trouble with the police.

One other thing--has she been abusive towards any other students in the past? There is strength in numbers. I know my sons public school cringed when another parent of a special ed student mentioned my name or that they had been talking to me...

Anne

The school won;t give us any exact info,but they do mention a *long history*... The girl brags about all her suspensions and all the girls she beats up..She has also called the house several times this week,which was brought up at her hearing..They did say this is her last shot and if she even says anything to my DD she is out... Somehow I don't believe that..The AP seems pretty angry at the outcome

 

[siouxi31]

I was just reading all of these posts catching up on what was happening. What a nightmare! I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

 

[SeattleRedBear]

Jenny -- Just caught this thread. I'm so sorry you and your family are going through all this. Luckily, it sounds like you're getting good advice and that your daughter is a tough girl and will survive. The best way is not always the easiest or quickest way (a tough lesson to learn).

But given your last statement, I'm just ready to scream Why Is This Girl Still Being Mainstreamed??!!! She apears to be an emotional threat to the entire classroom and is a physical threat to a number of students. I agree that it's time to get lawyer's involved.

 

[ducklite]

The school won;t give us any exact info,but they do mention a *long history*... The girl brags about all her suspensions and all the girls she beats up..She has also called the house several times this week,which was brought up at her hearing..They did say this is her last shot and if she even says anything to my DD she is out... Somehow I don't believe that..The AP seems pretty angry at the outcome

If she is calling your house, that's a different violation altogether, and you need to report this to the police and ask them to charge her with harrassment. Call the phone company and let them know you are receiving harrassing phone calls and they will help you.

Because this is hapenning out of school, her classification can't help her, and some justice might be served.

Anne

 

[nliedel]

I am 100% with Ducklite. Calling your house to harrass her? You need the police in on this more than they are. If I thought my kid was harrassing someone I would cook and eat them! Seriously what are these girls parents thinking?

 

[JennyMominRI]

I am 100% with Ducklite. Calling your house to harrass her? You need the police in on this more than they are. If I thought my kid was harrassing someone I would cook and eat them! Seriously what are these girls parents thinking?

Clearly not much as she spent most of her suspension hanging out at the mall

 

[ducklite]

BTW--Depending on what she is saying when she calls, you might be able to get charged with making terroristic threats or witness tampering. That's a couple of pretty serious charges, and coupled with an assault, a judge might just decide to send her someplace longterm for help.

Anne