My daughter got her ears pierced tonight, and how I think it just changed my life.

[Sgt Mickey]

how sweet

 

[Papa Deuce]

Ok, this just made me tear up! For a long time I've been doing photography and everyone tells me how great I am at it. But I've never been able to take that step to start my own studio, always content just to take whatever anyone will pay me for my work. I was afraid. NOt sure what I was really afraid of till you spelled it out.....failure!!! You just made me realize---that failure is just a word. Who CARES if I fail??? At least I would've tried, right!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You just gave me the courage I need to try to set my own path.

You just never realize how much of a push someone's post can give you till it's the post that gives you the push!!!

Good luck to you---just write down your daughters motto and keep it everywhere so you can see it!!!

I will let my daughter read this post. She will be THRILLED for you. I hope it all works out for you.

She has been running around my house like Rocky Balboa, fists up in the air saying " I changed people's lives. I'm inspirational!"

 

[nskjerven]

Because there was no pressure. All along all we did was ask, but we always told them that when they were ready to get them, we were ready to help them.

I heard what you wrote and just want to say that sometimes "asking" is pressure. If it were me I'd not mention it again. When she wants it she will bring it up.

But more importantly Congratulations the first step is the hardest. As to the business make sure you keep good records and have a good understanding on the accounting side of it. Lots of businesses fail because they can't handle that side of things.

 

[Shel]

What a smart daughter you have Papa!

As one who has been overweight all my life, I want to cheer you on for your decision. Also, as someone who's been actively & steadily working the last 16 months to lose it in a healthy way, let me tell you it can be done. Since August 2008 I have lost (drum roll please) 110 pounds. It's not magic . It's watching what goes in my mouth & exercise.

My "carrot" at the end of the stick is of course a trip to Disney World. It's tentatively scheduled for December 2010, IF I lose about another 90 pounds.

You're on the right path, keep up the good work. Oh yes, only worry about today. Tomorrow will take care of itself in due time. TODAY we will watch what we eat & exercise.

 

[LoveDisney!!!]

She has been running around my house like Rocky Balboa, fists up in the air saying " I changed people's lives. I'm inspirational!"

Glad she feels good about herself.

I have to ask though, how does her sister feel? If you aren't careful, she could become very resentful and think that the other is on a pedestal.

 

[Jenvenza]

What a great story and a smart girl!

 

[harleyquinn]

Way to go PD! Keep up the good work.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Glad she feels good about herself.

I have to ask though, how does her sister feel? If you aren't careful, she could become very resentful and think that the other is on a pedestal.

So far so good. And today she said she "might" want to get her ears done this weekend as well.

 

[Va-bear]

I heard what you wrote and just want to say that sometimes "asking" is pressure. If it were me I'd not mention it again. When she wants it she will bring it up.

I agree with this - especially from a beloved dad. Pretty much anything my father asked me "IF" I wanted to do - especially more than once - I would assume he wanted me to do it....and would not want to let him down.

I agree w/ the other poster ....the daughter that didnt do it gets my props. (But, that's partially because I believe a big change to one's body - like a piercing or tatoo - should be a decision one makes for themselves, as an adult).

 

[shortbun]

Because there was no pressure. All along all we did was ask, but we always told them that when they were ready to get them, we were ready to help them.

YOU WROTE
My daughters are both 8. For about 6 months now my wife and I have been asking them if they wanted to get their ears pierced. They have always said no. I brought the subject up again today. My one daughter flat out turned me down but one of them was teetering back and forth. I decided not to press her. For both of them they were afraid of the "pain" involved.



Look, I don't think it's 'bad' to get one's ears peirced BUT you and your wife did pressure your girls. This is what their friends will do over cigarettes, pot, alcohol, sex('for about six months now my boyfriend has been asking me if I would have sex with him. I have always said 'no.' He brought it up again today. He says there is nothing wrong with it and it won't hurt that much besides lots of other people do it. I'm teetering back and forth about saying yes. I love and trust my boyfriend and I know he would never hurt me.')

Pretty sure the above scenario would be considered 'pressure' by you.

Celebrate the differences in your girls and allow them to make decisions about these kinds of things when THEY are ready. Why was/is it so important that they get their ears pierced and worth celebrating when one of them had to coax herself into to it with self worth sayings?

Now the 2nd daughter is thinking about getting her ears pierced and you're excited about it. Will you feel the same way about makeup, dating, drinking?

Devil's Advocate is never a popular position but in this case, I feel the need.

 

[LoveDisney!!!]

YOU WROTE
My daughters are both 8. For about 6 months now my wife and I have been asking them if they wanted to get their ears pierced. They have always said no. I brought the subject up again today. My one daughter flat out turned me down but one of them was teetering back and forth. I decided not to press her. For both of them they were afraid of the "pain" involved.



Look, I don't think it's 'bad' to get one's ears peirced BUT you and your wife did pressure your girls. This is what their friends will do over cigarettes, pot, alcohol, sex('for about six months now my boyfriend has been asking me if I would have sex with him. I have always said 'no.' He brought it up again today. He says there is nothing wrong with it and it won't hurt that much besides lots of other people do it. I'm teetering back and forth about saying yes. I love and trust my boyfriend and I know he would never hurt me.')

Pretty sure the above scenario would be considered 'pressure' by you.

Celebrate the differences in your girls and allow them to make decisions about these kinds of things when THEY are ready. Why was/is it so important that they get their ears pierced and worth celebrating when one of them had to coax herself into to it with self worth sayings?

Now the 2nd daughter is thinking about getting her ears pierced and you're excited about it. Will you feel the same way about makeup, dating, drinking?

Devil's Advocate is never a popular position but in this case, I feel the need.

Great post!

PD, I do have to ask why you want their ears pierced so much? I can't help but think that the other daughter is feeling pressured. I mean, you asked for months on end, the one daughter goes for it and gets huge praise. So much praise that you have said she changed your life and you post to a large message board. I imagine that can be hard on the other twin.

 

[pixiewings71]

Oh wow...what a smart young lady you've got there Papa!!!! Good for her, good for you and good for your other DD for staying true to herself too. I hear you on the no pressure thing, that's exactly how we did it with our girls and ear piercings, we just let them lead the way and when they were ready we did it.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Great post!

PD, I do have to ask why you want their ears pierced so much? I can't help but think that the other daughter is feeling pressured. I mean, you asked for months on end, the one daughter goes for it and gets huge praise. So much praise that you have said she changed your life and you post to a large message board. I imagine that can be hard on the other twin.

I don't. But about once a month we go to the mall. On that day I would say "Anybody want to get their ears pierced today?".... that is as far as it went.

And my other twin and I talked and she is just happy for her sister. You'll just have to trust me, or not, on that.

 

[nskjerven]

This isn't an issue of "trusting you" it is an issue of other parents (some of us moms being our daddy's girl long ago) offering you the other side of this coin.

You can choose to ignore us or you can chew on our comments and absorb them for what they are intended - another view point.

Good Luck

 

[Papa Deuce]

Well, then all I can say is that Emily is just fine and happy with the whole thing. And seeing how happy / excited her sister is, she came to us and said she might want to have hers done this weekend, but this thread really isn't about getting ears pierced, anyway; it is about the wisdom coming out of the mouths of babes...

 

[BelleWDW]

cancelled

 

[phorsenuf]

REALLY LONG POST ALERT!

My daughters are both 8. For about 6 months now my wife and I have been asking them if they wanted to get their ears pierced. They have always said no. I brought the subject up again today. My one daughter flat out turned me down but one of them was teetering back and forth. I decided not to press her. For both of them they were afraid of the "pain" involved.

Anyway, I was watching football when I asked my wife where Abby was, as I hadn't seen her in about 30 minutes. My wife "thought' she was up in her room. I decided to go check on her.

**snip**

So, we ( wife and I ) decide to strike while the iron is hot... we take the kids to the mall so Abby can get her ears pierced before she chickens out. When we get there she had almost talked herself OUT of getting them pierced, but with mild encouragement, she decided to follow through.

I don't. But about once a month we go to the mall. On that day I would say "Anybody want to get their ears pierced today?".... that is as far as it went.

And my other twin and I talked and she is just happy for her sister. You'll just have to trust me, or not, on that.

In the OP (as I bolded) you were watching football when you brought it up, not at the mall.
Sorry, but I gotta agree with the above posters and being pressured. Every little girl wants to please her daddy.

You might want to tread lightly so it doesn't seem to your daughter that you prefer one over the other.

 

[Papa Deuce]

In the OP (as I bolded) you were watching football when you brought it up, not at the mall.
Sorry, but I gotta agree with the above posters and being pressured. Every little girl wants to please her daddy.

You might want to tread lightly so it doesn't seem to your daughter that you prefer one over the other.

No. Because anybody who thinks this is just flat out wrong. I see what is happening, and some of you folks are guessing it.

 

[LoveDisney!!!]

You may not favor one twin over the other (I sincerely hope that is the case, because it's heartbreaking if not).

It just seems that you mention one way more frequently and in a better light, than the other. Of course, this is the internet, so things may read differently than they really are.

It does appear that you changed your story in regards to how/when you asked about getting theirs ears pierced. Perhaps you did it, because you are afraid that people are viewing it as pressuring.

In any event, I try to get people to see another side and I believe that is what others here are doing too. When you are in a situation, it is hard to view to objectively and it can help to have other opinions.

I still think it's great your daughter is happy with her decision and it appears she has a lot of confidence.