My co-worker is a fountain of misinformation!! 5/14 the day has come page 130

[nick262]

I had a sweet, but clueless friend who kept sighing loudly one day while we were riding in a convertible. I finally said "what's wrong" and she said "I just really wish we were going in the other direction so the wind wouldn't be blowing my hair."

I went to comedy traffic school one time to get a ticket dismissed. The teacher was telling us what to do if the hood of our car were to fly up while we were driving. On lady raised here hand and asked "but what if your hood goes the other way" (as in some cars hoods rise from the windshield instead from the front bumper.) With a dead straight face, he relpied, "you really should not be going in reverse that fast."

 

[Evil Genius]

Sorry everyone, nothing today, I've spent most of my day in the boss' office learning my new job. Hopefully tomorrow, we'll have something good.

I'm glad I can make everyones daya little brighter with this thread. We all need a good laugh at least once a day.

 

[simba928]

I thought of this thread today in school. We were sitting in Changing America talking about Malcolm X. The same friend that asked "what language do they speak in Asia" (if you remember from a few pages ago in this thread) sits behind me. There is a huge bulleting board behind her covered in pictures from the Civil Rights Movement. There is one poster that must be 2 1/2 feet wide and 4 feet tall with a picture of Malcolm X on it and his name right below that. We must have spent 10 minutes telling my friend how to spell Malcolm. She kept insisting that there was only 1 "L" (as in Malcom). 4 of us sat there telling her she was wrong and she kept saying "You don't say Mal-col-m, its Mal-com". Eventually one girl turned around, pointed to the sign and said "look, its M-A-L-C-O-L-M". The friend says "How do you know?" and the other girl replied "ITS ON THE SIGN!!!!" My friend goes "Oh, well I've been spelling that wrong for like forever." Another guy goes "Its the same as Lincoln" My friend goes "Aw man, I've been spelling that one wrong, too!"

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

There is nothing to see or do in San Antonio TX. It is all Mexicans. (My apologies to all Texans)

I'd like to think that as one of those Mexicans, I bring a lot of excitement to SA. Guess not!

I've met a lot of people like her. I just let them keep putting their foot in their mouth...I think everyone realizes how ridiculous they sound.

 

[simba928]

I just got one more from another friend of mine. She is working on chemistry homework and IMing me with questions about it. (this is quoted from our IM, so sorry about any typos)
Friend: at temperature of 300 kelvins and a vlume of 444 ml what volume will this gas occupy at 600 kelvins and at 150 kelvins. is 300 already in kelvins?
Me: u cannot be serious! it says 300 KELVINS!!! so yes, it is in kelvins!
Friend: well theres a pd after 300. oh wait i guess thats a decimal.

All I can say is wow.

 

[MareQ]

Let's amuse ourselves and give EG a list of topics she MUST cover with this woman and report back to us on....

1. Cruises

 

[JimVL]

She was very much into new age alternative stuff. She had a doctor in L.A. who she would call when she was sick.

I'm at myself. It took me a minute to figure out why you were mentioning a Doctor, and not a band.

 

[Evil Genius]

Happy Friday everyone!!

It's been a quiet week. But finally got some things from her this morning.

Let's see.

Australia is the worst country in the world. Nothing there but "those natives" (I'm assuming Aborigines) can't understand why someone would fly all that way to see flat land and natives.

The show Planet Earth coming up on Discovery channel. Why would anyone want to watch that, we live here so we know enough about it. And why is it 11 parts? There's not that much to talk about.

Still ignoring questions about her upcoming Vegas trip. Not quite sure what's up with that.

There was also talk about the Japanese during WWII. Things that would get me major points if I retold them. (Use your imagination.)

 

[ElizaB39]

Happy Friday everyone!!

It's been a quiet week. But finally got some things from her this morning.

Let's see.

Australia is the worst country in the world. Nothing there but "those natives" (I'm assuming Aborigines) can't understand why someone would fly all that way to see flat land and natives.

The show Planet Earth coming up on Discovery channel. Why would anyone want to watch that, we live here so we know enough about it. And why is it 11 parts? There's not that much to talk about.
Still ignoring questions about her upcoming Vegas trip. Not quite sure what's up with that.

There was also talk about the Japanese during WWII. Things that would get me major points if I retold them. (Use your imagination.)

We can't wait for this show to start! It took them 5 years to get all of this footage, and we are beyond excited. THIS COWORKER OF YOURS JUST SLAYS ME, SHE REALLY, REALLY DOES! Thanks for the laughs.

 

[PhotobearSam]

OMG, with our luck, if aliens ever come to this planet they will meet her first and decide we are not worthy of first contact. She is the type of person who could stop the humain race from advancing.

What a dolt.

 

[Evil Genius]

Even more this afternoon...

She asked one of our vendors if he was one of those idiots that golfs in the rain.

Her granddaughter is sick and her son has asked that she and her husband look after the baby this afternoon and tonight, because he and the wife have to work. She told him no because "She doesn't want anything to happen to the baby and then he and her DIL would sue her and her husband."

If you are over 70 you shouldn't drive ever!!! (She only has 7 more years to drive if that's the case.)

 

[budbeerlady]

Huh, she is worried about her kid sueing her? Wow, I feel bad for her daughter in law!

 

[sha_lyn]

WOW... she is nuts. won't watch her own grandchild because she thinks her son will sue her.
I have to ask, what prompted the golf comment to the vendor?

 

[ElizaB39]

Even more this afternoon...

She asked one of our vendors if he was one of those idiots that golfs in the rain.

Her granddaughter is sick and her son has asked that she and her husband look after the baby this afternoon and tonight, because he and the wife have to work. She told him no because "She doesn't want anything to happen to the baby and then he and her DIL would sue her and her husband."

If you are over 70 you shouldn't drive ever!!! (She only has 7 more years to drive if that's the case.)

Lord, but this lady makes me feel like the nicest and smartest person on the face of this earth!

Keep em comin' EG!

 

[zurgswife]

These snipets have been way to entertaining

 

[Evil Genius]

WOW... she is nuts. won't watch her own grandchild because she thinks her son will sue her.
I have to ask, what prompted the golf comment to the vendor?

Not sure what prompted the golf comment. We all talk pretty quietly when we are on the phone. Just all of a sudden she says real loud "Are you one of those idiots that golfs in the rain?" No laugh or anything after it. When she hung up I asked who she was talking to and she told me a vendor.

 

[babytrees]

what a nut.....not wanting to babysit your grandbaby has to be the oddest one.

Though I will agree with her on the older people driving..... my Grandpa's driving is going to kill me one of these days. I don't want to take licenses away at some arbitary age...like 70...but there has to be a way to get the people who shouldn't be driving off the road.

Sorry I'll get off my soapbox now.

Back to Miss Information.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This woman is a crackup! Ask her if she is going to go see the Grand Canyon in Vegas!!! I want to know her answer!!! Please Please Please!!!

 

[sha_lyn]

Not sure what prompted the golf comment. We all talk pretty quietly when we are on the phone. Just all of a sudden she says real loud "Are you one of those idiots that golfs in the rain?" No laugh or anything after it. When she hung up I asked who she was talking to and she told me a vendor.

LOL...I had a feeling it came out of left field...IE no discussion about golf or rain etc.

 

[KristiKelly]

Her granddaughter is sick and her son has asked that she and her husband look after the baby this afternoon and tonight, because he and the wife have to work. She told him no because "She doesn't want anything to happen to the baby and then he and her DIL would sue her and her husband."

I would love to hear what her DIL has to say about her . She sounds like a real nutcase. I can't wait to hear more on Monday.